What's the situation?

[hardab]

I am and have been bi for many years. Sometimes I laid low and didn't pursue my attractions for other guys but it was always there.

Now for the "situation".

Last year, due to a rapid development of prostate cancer, I had a radical prostatectomie. Total removal. As most of you know, that's resulted in a total inability to achieve erection. And also, of course, I have absolutely NO ejaculate.

I still like to have sex with men (or would like to, I've restrained for a year due to minor complications) but am not sure how they will react to my "situation". Will they accept that I still want to pleasure them and that that will result in my pleasure? Or will they decline because I cannot provide them some of the activities they desire?

I want to become active again but am afraid of total rejection. I understand that some guys will not be interested and I can deal with that. But if I find out that no one can deal with my "situation", I will be very sad. (And lonely.)

dave

[jo69guy]

I wish you the best of luck. There is surely someone out there that will be understanding of your problem. (lack of a better term?)

My dad had prostate cancer, but caught it early. Had a great surgeon who saved the nerve which allows him to still have erections. I wish more men would look for that option pre-op.

Again, best wishes!

[wellred]

Hello Dave,

You present a concern that will cause you to be more selective in your choice of partners. By telling potential mates what you have to offer and what you are limited in providing, it gives them an appropriate opportunity to decide about their further involvement.

And yes, there are people who would not be detered by your physical condition. I have a friend that is unable to achieve erections. He has had this condition since his twenties. He is now in his fifties and enjoys a robust sexual life. He is an affectionate, imaginative, and giving person. He also guides partners in ways to give him physical pleasure. He seems quite happy.

So, I am offering encouragement to you. Please do not limit your horizons.
Best wishes finding companionship and more.

Hugs,
Red

[csrakate]

Hi hardab,
I do so hope that you continue to do well...but I know that your present condition is very frustrating for you. Just curious, are you a viable candidate for some of the pumps and other prosthetic devices that are available today? The reason that I ask is that while I am sure there are many sensitive and caring potential partners out there for you, you may feel better if you did in fact have other medical options. Just something for you to think about...but I certainly wish you well and hope that you someday find a loving and caring partner.

Kate