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vittoria
Nov 17, 2007, 7:00 PM
as a personal choice i'm 'out' to a select few of my friends, co-workers, no relatives. i realized my bi-ness when i was 19, even thought there were a few things that opened my eyes to the possiblities... ( rocky horror picture show was definitely one of my influences :) )

what does anyone think about the people who say " oh i'm just experimenting"? are they really bi and too afraid to admit it to themselves, or are they just testing the waters?

just a question. feel free to comisserate (sp) .

DiamondDog
Nov 17, 2007, 7:20 PM
In some cases the people are experimenting but it's usually a one time thing and most people don't do it as adults or after age 18 at all, and some just use it as an excuse because they're afraid of who they really are.

The whole "I was drunk or high when I had sex with (member of opposite or same gender)" is an excuse that nobody actually believes anymore.

I too realized about myself at 15/16 or even earlier but I've written about that before on here. RHPS didn't really influence me but I'd just always read about it in ancient Greek/Roman literature and in mid 20th Century American literature and poetry I read for school.

bidsmia
Nov 17, 2007, 11:33 PM
I guess I realized I was bisexual about the same time as you - right around 19 or so. I grew up in a pretty tiny midwestern town, and coming out or experimenting there would not have been pleasant.

Since then, I've come out to all of my friends and my immediate family. I'm not out at work because it's a new job, and I'm still trying to get a feel for my office. I'm not one for wearing my sexuality on my sleeve anyway. :)

ambi53mm
Nov 17, 2007, 11:45 PM
what does anyone think about the people who say " oh i'm just experimenting"? are they really bi and too afraid to admit it to themselves, or are they just testing the waters?

just a question. feel free to comisserate (sp) .

Given all the variables it could be one or the other, neither, or both.
I was bisexual long before I was bisexual. My bisexual experimentation began as situational. Take a curious nature and a high sex drive at the age of 10 add in a group of boys exploring their bodies under the cover of night unsupervised in a tent, and things will happen.
I was very shy as a pre-teen, especially around the opposite sex but also had a very dominating and manipulative nature especially within the group of guys I hung out with.
The kid who lived next door a year my junior was more or less my sexual slave. It worked out great for me but probably really sucked for him. I’ve since forgiven myself for the sins of my youth but in discovering the pleasures of the opposite sex put that attraction towards the same sex on the back burner.
Most of my early sexual experimentation as an adult took place in the 70’s. The atmosphere was sexually charged as the “Free Love” movement unfolded. Then as a male you were either straight or gay. I always considered myself straight because I didn’t fit the stereotypical concept of being homosexual. Yet my experimentation with the same sex particularly with one who shared my passions and equaled my hyper-sex drive continued over the course of many years. During the late 80’s I came across the term “bisexual”. Finally, it all made sense. Bisexuality opened up a whole new realm for sexual exploration that continues to this day. I’m open about my sexuality to those who I choose to be open to and, to those that can comprehend my strong sexual nature without passing judgment. The rest really have no need to be privy to my sexuality anymore than they need access to my bank account. It’s my choice and I exercise my right to make choices as I see fit. Doesn’t everybody?

Ambi:)

Germanicus
Nov 18, 2007, 4:52 AM
as a personal choice i'm 'out' to a select few of my friends, co-workers, no relatives. i realized my bi-ness when i was 19, even thought there were a few things that opened my eyes to the possiblities... ( rocky horror picture show was definitely one of my influences :) )

what does anyone think about the people who say " oh i'm just experimenting"? are they really bi and too afraid to admit it to themselves, or are they just testing the waters?

just a question. feel free to comisserate (sp) .

I had an ex-girlfriend (many years ago now) who had admitted to sleeping with a woman when she was much younger. I asked her why she had done this, and she said she was curious about another woman (she was that curious she slept with the woman twice), but had not had the urge since. From her perspective, it was an experiment, though she she claimed it was a "mistake" and I didn't pursue the issue (however, when I confessed that I had similar feelings she hit the roof).

For some, it is just an experiment/adventure - whether it be sexual, emotional or even philosophical.

the mage
Nov 18, 2007, 10:15 AM
You didn't know you liked chocolate till you tried it......

DiamondDog
Nov 18, 2007, 2:34 PM
You didn't know you liked chocolate till you tried it.

Speak for yourself.

Maybe it was that way for yourself but it wasn't that way for myself and other people in regard to our own sexuality.

Think about it, how many heterosexual people do you know that before doing anything sexual with the opposite gender said to themselves "Gee, well I haven't had sex with the opposite gender how do I know if I'll like it? I only fantaize about the opposite gender and only want sex/relationships with them"?