Jokes

[brunette]

Anyone heard any good jokes lately? I haven't, but I'll tell you my favorite one:

A pirate walks into a bar, and he has a captain's wheel shoved down the front of his pants. So the bartender asks, "Why do you have a captain's wheel shoved down the front of your pants?" And the pirate says:

"It's driving me nuts!!!"

your turn

[Toad82]

Well this joke will either make you laugh, cringe or both. In any case I find it to be funny as hell.
RJ:lokai:


One day Little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parents room to
check it out.

He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad going
at it behind her. Johnny's dad saw him and gave him a little wink as
Johnny closed the door.

After business was finished Dad went to check on little Johnny. He
opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser and
little Johnny going at it behind her.

Dad yelled, "Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!"

Little Johnny replied, "It's not so funny when its your mom is it?!":suave:

[Germanicus]

Heard this old feminist joke?

Q: What's the difference between a male chauvinist pig (I'm showing my age here) and a gay man?

A: A male chauvinist pig will at least admit that a woman is useful for something

[kburges12]

Why don't cannibals eat divorced women?


They are too bitter!!

[shameless agitator]

Judge: I'm afraid I can't grant your divorce from Minnie

Mickey Mouse: Why not your honor?

Judge:You haven't proven your contention that she's mentally unstable

Mickey Mouse:I never said she was crazy your honor. I said she was fuckin' Goofy!!

[DiamondDog]

Wikipedia.

[Germanicus]

Why don't cannibals eat divorced women?


They are too bitter!!

Two cannibals are eating a clown, and one says to the other:

"does this taste funny to you?"

[hotgagirl]

im sure u all have heard this one but ill share it anyway....

there was a pickle, a cucumber and a penis they were all sitting together one day chatting with each other. Then the pickle said to the cucumber and the penis "all i get to do all day is sit in this jar filled with vintager" then the cucumber says, " oh yea, well all i get is to be chopped up and put in salads" then finally the penis says, " well i have u both beat!" " all i get to do is be forced in this deep dark hole with my head banging up against the wall till i puke and pass out!!"

[hotgagirl]

one more........

there was a man who had a little pet mouse. One day the man and his mouse went to the bar. Well the man told the bartender " if i can prove to u that my mouse can talk will u give me a free beer?" The bartender says, there aint no mouse that can talk! So the man repeated it. " if i can prove to u that my mouse can talk will u give me a free beer?" So the bartender agrees. The man told his little mouse go down to the end of the bar and tell me what color
panties that first lady has on. So the little mouse runs to the end of the bar looks up her skirt and then runs back to the man and says "pink" Meanwhile the bartender says " ill be damned" and gives the man a free beer. The man tells him ill show u again. The man tells the little mouse to go down to the end of the bar and tell him what color panties that the second lady is wearing. so the little mouse runs back down to the end of the bar, looks, and runs back to the man and says "red" Still in amazement, the bartender again says " ill be damned" and gives the man another beer. the bartender asks the man " how do u do that?" The man replies " ill show u one more time" so he tells the little mouse to go down to the end of the bar and tell him what color panties the third lady has on. The little mouse runs down to the end of the bar, looks, and very very quickly runs back and jumps in the man's beer glass!! the man takes him out and dries him off and says "what's the matter with u?" The little mouse replies " I tawt I saw a puddy tat!!!!

[Toad82]

My favorite joke;

What did the number 0 say to the number 8?










Nice belt.