PDA

View Full Version : i have a question for everyone



kates
Nov 9, 2007, 1:54 AM
do you find that it is incredibly different to interact and solve problems with men versus women? what things are different? how do the differences affect your relationships? what things have you figured out are crucial for interacting with one gender, but not the other? have these differences ever gotten in the way of your relationships?
this is vague I suppose, but I don't want to give you any impression that I'm looking for a specific answer.


My own interest in these questions.. I love women, but have a difficult time expressing myself to them, and showing how much I care. I have usually dated men, and I think I understand them better, maybe just from experience, maybe they expect less, maybe I am too entrenched in traditional gender roles? women are a whole different thing aren't they, or am I crazy?

Bluebiyou
Nov 9, 2007, 2:26 AM
It's all different, it's all crazy. That's the fun. I find the more mature the person, m or f... the easier to relate/understand.
The younger, the more influenced by the stereotypical harmones.
Hope this helps!
Don't wait, just dive into the insanity! It's called life! Wooo Wooo!

Read/watch "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" that is a big help.

GreenEyedLady(GEL)
Nov 9, 2007, 7:12 AM
Perhaps some 1-1 counsuling ? Just a suggestion

the mage
Nov 9, 2007, 7:26 AM
Just imagine all the men to be wearing frilly thongs under their clothes, that will help I'm sure....

MarieDelta
Nov 9, 2007, 11:18 AM
do you find that it is incredibly different to interact and solve problems with men versus women? what things are different? how do the differences affect your relationships? what things have you figured out are crucial for interacting with one gender, but not the other? have these differences ever gotten in the way of your relationships?
this is vague I suppose, but I don't want to give you any impression that I'm looking for a specific answer.


My own interest in these questions.. I love women, but have a difficult time expressing myself to them, and showing how much I care. I have usually dated men, and I think I understand them better, maybe just from experience, maybe they expect less, maybe I am too entrenched in traditional gender roles? women are a whole different thing aren't they, or am I crazy?


Women are and aren't a whole different thing...

There are differences, between men and women. But there are also those who blur the gender lines.

Most men aren't John Wayne ( Hell even John Wayne wasn't John Wayne) they are somenwhere between that and Liberace.

Most women aren't Mae West, or June Cleaver. They exist between the two poles as well.

Why do you feel uncomfortable with women? Here are a few thoughts on it.

You know you are attracted to them and feel like they may be able to "read" that on some level.

You know/sense/fear what their reaction may be to your attraction(rejection.)

Just realize that someone out there is, just like you, struggling with these issues too.

As Dr Suess says: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

darkeyes
Nov 9, 2007, 12:54 PM
Women are and aren't a whole different thing...

There are differences, between men and women. But there are also those who blur the gender lines.

Most men aren't John Wayne ( Hell even John Wayne wasn't John Wayne) they are somenwhere between that and Liberace.

Most women aren't Mae West, or June Cleaver. They exist between the two poles as well.

Why do you feel uncomfortable with women? Here are a few thoughts on it.

You know you are attracted to them and feel like they may be able to "read" that on some level.

You know/sense/fear what their reaction may be to your attraction(rejection.)

Just realize that someone out there is, just like you, struggling with these issues too.

As Dr Suess says: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Me went ta school wiv "John Wayne"..thats how me knows who e is (an me dad a big western fan the silly sod)... lil scrawny speccie thing at High School called Marion Morrison who blossomed inta sum rite dishy piece who wudn give me tima day ( wen she wos lil an scrawny mus admit 2 not givin er tima day so spose it wos kinda pay bak).. 'er loss... we nicknamed er duch (duchess) cosa im bein called Duke an cosa er pretentions an dislike of us lil common tarts! Wonda wer she rode ofta in that gorge ole sunset?

But dunno bout im an is upbringin, but if e wos raised ere, an is mum an dad gave im the name Marion.. e wud eitha not last 5 mins..or e wud b the actual of is screen persona...

vittoria
Nov 9, 2007, 7:40 PM
do you find that it is incredibly different to interact and solve problems with men versus women? what things are different? how do the differences affect your relationships? what things have you figured out are crucial for interacting with one gender, but not the other? have these differences ever gotten in the way of your relationships?
this is vague I suppose, but I don't want to give you any impression that I'm looking for a specific answer.


My own interest in these questions.. I love women, but have a difficult time expressing myself to them, and showing how much I care. I have usually dated men, and I think I understand them better, maybe just from experience, maybe they expect less, maybe I am too entrenched in traditional gender roles? women are a whole different thing aren't they, or am I crazy?


This is touchy for me, because I have a couple of gripes about women and men myself...women are touchy, pissy, bent out of shape, status conscious, money grubbing and a few many many things more that I despise.

Men are attention hogs, have to be ALWAYS right whether they are wrong or not (that goes into the women section too), always trying to find an excuse to piss at the side of the road, easily irritable, cranky in the morning, dont care about women's periods, envision themselves as "TrojanMan!!" ( complete with cape a-flyin!!), AND NEVER EVER want to ask for directions if they are lost (bastards... which may be why they made OnStar for men to look kewl... "Look what I can do!!!" Just like children, give them a new toy in the form of some technological BS and theyre happy for HOURS)

Yes, women ARE different from men. Basic science will tell you that. We mature faster, have a XX chromosome instead of an XY chromosome, we run on estrogen primarily (even tho we have SOME testosterone--emphasis on SOME just like men have SOME estrogen). We have different needs--women are relatively more emotion driven, men are driven with logic. As for looks, well, its OBVIOUS... we have full breasts, men have penises. Our hormones are different----- when persons want to be FTM or MTF they go through HORMONE THERAPY to basically give women and men more of what they need to complete the metamorphisis. If we were the "same" all of that extra crap wouldnt be necessary. Women give birth to children, men cant.. no matter how much hormone therapy you give them ( maybe in the year 2525, but not right now--or if Arnold wants to make another movie about a man giving birth...)



Personally, being in a bisexual relationship with a bisexual man, we balance each other out... I like flannel from time to time, he may paint his toes. He likes shopping for food and clothes; he enjoys cuddling after sex and MAY even go for 3rds or 4ths!! But not all relationships are the same. We respect each other and our sexuality. He knows that I like women as well ( as long as they are on the same level as I am), and he has his relationships with men.

Ideally, RESPECT (not jumping to conclusions as if it were the only exercise) and LISTENING (as in knowing when to SHUT THE FKK UP and OPEN YOUR GD EARS) are the two most vital things in ANY relationship... when the one person insists on being right ALL THE GD TIME however... thats when you check your options... no amount of listening will change the utter lack of disrespect.

But thats me tho... out of many, one opinion. I'm sure there are others :)

GreenEyedLady(GEL)
Nov 9, 2007, 7:57 PM
Having re-read my post it reads differently then when I first wrote it or maybe it was jsut me posting after work I dunno , but reguardless, I meant it whole heartedly , not sarcasticaly. This is a great question, and I went to counsuling for months trying to figure it out hehe. Good luck to you hon.

jem_is_bi
Nov 9, 2007, 10:30 PM
I have never understood women well enough to please even one of them for more than a short period of time. I know logical analysis was of no use to me in understanding any of the women I ever cared for; this might have even made things worse. Do women really want to be understood by men? I think they prefer the mystery and pick lovers, girlfriends and boyfriends for significantly different reasons than men.
On the other hand, I know exactly how men think and how to deal with them.

JEM

raistkit
Nov 10, 2007, 1:57 AM
hi kit here: i have more male friends, than female, not surprising.considering who i am. i find men to be more easy going, and honest. most girls, but not all ,i find to be very competitive, regarding attention. if i have a disagrement (sorry about the spelling) with a female, more often then not she won't speak to me for a good six months. if i argue with one of my guy friends it turns into a discussion and we settle it over a coffee(timmy's of course) , or beer and wings. one of my best girlfriends didn't speak to me for over 6 mos, cause i said her cat stank, and it did. one of my best guy friends had really bad breath, so i told him, he bought himself some listerine tounge strips and a toungue brush. point being the guy had more right to be pissed at me than the girl. just my:2cents:

kit

jamiehue
Nov 10, 2007, 8:59 AM
The gf is the tomboy and the bf is out shopping im in the middle and loving it.