Courtesy

[The Barefoot Contess]

I have a question for you. I have been involved with this guy for the past couple of months. Nothing serious, pretty much fuck buddies who did not know much about the other. We met several times and had a good time. All of a sudden he disappears, does not answer on AIM, replies e-mails or takes phone calls. Nothing.
My question is: even though we were only fuck buddies, which I guess technically means that you just fuck, am I right to expect at least a respectful farewell? This just seems rude to me, especially because I was not expecting this behavior from him. Am I asking too much? Dunno, sometimes you do not reply to an e-mail from someone with whom you've barely spoken, or when it is disrespectful, but all I said was that I missed him and would like to know what was going on and would leave him alone if he did not want to hear from me anymore.
I don't think he is sick, or superbusy, or having problems because he is on AIM all the time, as he always is (he has not blocked me). This has been going on for about 10 days now.
Thanks, guys.

[19biman61]

Regardless of your relationship with that guy, common courtesy dictates that he should not ignore you. That's just plain rude. Being a fuck buddy puts you on a personal level that is more than two people passing on the street. You can do better than him. If he chooses to ignore you then forget him and move on.

[DiamondDog]

I found these on a blog.

Yes, fuck buddies have feelings too but you are only concerned about how his cock feels inside you, got it?

1. No holding hands. Keep hands to the crotch-el region.
2. No spending the night.
3. Fifteen minutes of cuddling max. But affection is generally discouraged beyond "Aww, you're such a great fuck!"
4. Do not enter upon a fuck buddy arrangement or situation while drunk. There's a difference between a one-night stand and a fuck buddy (yet another post). Although entering either drunk is not wise. God forbid there's a beer-goggles situation. You don't want to go to bed with Will Smith and wake up with Steve Urkel, do you? Besides, don't you want to be sober enough to remember all the marvelous sex you had the night before?
5. No toothbrushes. Refer to #2. There should be no ties at all, even if they cost only $2.49 and secretly you let your other fuck buddy use the same one.
6. Don't discuss anything real. No family history, no favorite colors, no goals, no personal triumphs or tragedies. If you want to keep it real, you have to stay light: movies, bands, and favorite brands of booze.
7. He is not obligated to have sex with you while you're having your period. Most nice boyfriends will, but fuck buddies have the option to pass. If he doesn't mind, then cool.
8. No sweetie, honey, schmoopie allowed. The only pillow-talk is fuck me harder, ride me bitch, or suck this big cock.
9. No dinners, no movies, no "quality time" of any sort. If you insist on going out at all, meet him at a bar for drinks no earlier than ten pm. The hour between nine and ten is the grey zone between when a real date starts and when it's just a hook-up. So if you ever wonder why a guy asks you out for a date so late, it's because he doesn't want to have to go through the effort of buying you dinner and talking, he just wants to get to the good stuff.
10. Two guys in twenty-four hours is fine, just be discreet.
11. You still need to dress to impress. Just because you know sex is a sure thing doesn't mean you should answer the door in your pajamas unless they're really tight and see-thru. Shower, shave, lotion up, smell good, and have some fun with that tight mini-skirt you would never wear on a real date.
12. Break out the sex toys. Play up the freak factor and see how much you can get away with. Part of the fun of a fuck buddy is you don't care if he respects you or not and so you can let loose and reveal that sadist tendency of yours. Who says the nipple clamps are just for women?
13. Hide evidence. Throw out all condom wrappers (although you should no matter what, ew!), put the lube back in your goodie drawer, and for fuckssake don't get any hickeys, bruises, bites, or scratches if you expect to date/fuck anyone else any time soon. And if you have a collared-shirt job, keep all that shit below the neck line so you don't give your boss a heart attack. Or any ideas. —shudder—
14. No liquid exchange. You're not a twelve year-old girl in a convent, you know about condoms and birth control. Use both. If you're young and worry about telling your parents you want to go to the doctor, you can go to Planned Parenthood on your own and take care of things there. They understand discretion. Being scared of your mother is no excuse. And believe me, I understand scary mothers.
15. Pee with the door closed. Just because you're using each other for sex doesn't mean you can't keep some decency.

Have I forgotten anything? Leave comments.

*Sound harsh? Then maybe fuck buddies aren't for you. It's a rough game and not everyone is meant to play. Just being realistic here.

[The Barefoot Contess]

Just because you're using each other for sex doesn't mean you can't keep some decency.



That is precisely what I meant. Fucking does not have to exclude good manners, does it? And I repeat, a mere "goodbye" would have sufficed.

[The Barefoot Contess]

And also, why is that list so damn sexist? Shouldn't the "rules" apply to both sexes?

[vittoria]

that list DOES kinda have a "bad dog--no biscuit" quality doesnt it? when it comes to women, we get the smack... with men its a "one of the boys" connotation.

the reason why we as women want closure is emotional. True it only seems right and fair, but considering we are rather emotional, men are rather basic... they cut to the chase, when the chase is done, then so are they.

[and for the flame warriors out there... i'm NOT saying all men are like that, nor all women. this is just fact. men and women ARE different hormonally, and thats just facts. (and no amount of pseudo intellectualism is going to change that)]

not saying its right, but it seems like he got what he wanted and he left... and if he gives a sh*t, he'll remember where he got "it" and come around...

if not, then you got what you wanted too... so get some somewhere else.

[Azrael]

I have a question for you. I have been involved with this guy for the past couple of months. Nothing serious, pretty much fuck buddies who did not know much about the other. We met several times and had a good time. All of a sudden he disappears, does not answer on AIM, replies e-mails or takes phone calls. Nothing.
My question is: even though we were only fuck buddies, which I guess technically means that you just fuck, am I right to expect at least a respectful farewell? This just seems rude to me, especially because I was not expecting this behavior from him. Am I asking too much? Dunno, sometimes you do not reply to an e-mail from someone with whom you've barely spoken, or when it is disrespectful, but all I said was that I missed him and would like to know what was going on and would leave him alone if he did not want to hear from me anymore.
I don't think he is sick, or superbusy, or having problems because he is on AIM all the time, as he always is (he has not blocked me). This has been going on for about 10 days now.
Thanks, guys.
I know it all too well. I don't mind if people don't wanna be with me, but just being blown off really makes me feel lousy.
I don't really know what to tell you. My ex-b/f and I had the fuckbuddy thing going a while. Then I was cast aside for a boyish little USF freshman twerp.
After knowing me for six years and lots of history, he just threw me away. The insulting thing is he's still friends with my sister. Lots of weird energy.


Some people are just really flakey/unreliable.

[ChsnyNLelandsBsh]

well, you let him have what he wanted...and after hes done he threw you out the door....and found something better or more interesting....he used you...as well as you used him...I know you might feel like shit because thats how us women feel because we got that emotional crap going on but its the way men are and they always have been that way....its a selfish thing....

[Azrael]

well, you let him have what he wanted...and after hes done he threw you out the door....and found something better or more interesting....he used you...as well as you used him...I know you might feel like shit because thats how us women feel because we got that emotional crap going on but its the way men are and they always have been that way....its a selfish thing....

Emotion is a human thing.
Don't believe the hype.

[darkeyes]

Over ere we hav the 4 F's. Find.. Feel..Fuck.. Forget... how lotsa guys seem 2 operate... an every 1 reelly happy for em..even lotsa women who don seemta mind... they jus Jack the lads sowin a few wild oats.. so gud luk 2 em..its expected an tacitly accepted.

However even in this day an age... aftar 40 odd years of so called sexual liberation if a gal employs the 4 F's she is a slut... a whore.. a trollop.. a tart... a gudtime girl...not a nice person forya nice 4 effin sons 2 marry an raise ther kids or go out wiv... cept of course for a shag...

Knows this aint strictly on subject.. but AZ posts brot it 2 mind... an its a common discourtesy an dubble standard wich all who think it an employ it..shud b thoroughly ashamed off...

"Sluts" hav passions an feelins 2 an a lil more consideration an courtesy an respect wud not go amiss...

[chook]

Over ere we hav the 4 F's. Find.. Feel..Fuck.. Forget... how lotsa guys seem 2 operate... an every 1 reelly happy for em..even lotsa women who don seemta mind... they jus Jack the lads sowin a few wild oats.. so gud luk 2 em..its expected an tacitly accepted.

However even in this day an age... aftar 40 odd years of so called sexual liberation if a gal employs the 4 F's she is a slut... a whore.. a trollop.. a tart... a gudtime girl...not a nice person forya nice 4 effin sons 2 marry an raise ther kids or go out wiv... cept of course for a shag...

Knows this aint strictly on subject.. but AZ posts brot it 2 mind... an its a common discourtesy an dubble standard wich all who think it an employ it..shud b thoroughly ashamed off...

"Sluts" hav passions an feelins 2 an a lil more consideration an courtesy an respect wud not go amiss...

Of course I'll respect you in the morning.......and by the way, Whats ya name?????? ;)


Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[darkeyes]

Of course I'll respect you in the morning.......and by the way, Whats ya name?????? ;)


Cheers Chook :bigrin:

Dunno...ya diddled me ta death ya ole goat..wots urs???:bigrin:

[Fresia]

Bump it up

[tenni]

It reads that they saw each other as fuck buddies but failed to define any boundaries. He was probably busy with someone else. He did not want to end it just in case his present fuck bud might not work out. Lay down ground rules and unfortunately be prepared for such behaviour.