members who do not answer messages

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

hello i am chocolatecity some of u know me and some of u don't.....i am posting this thread because i have seen some couples profile and i have wrote them and it seem like they do not respond and i think it is kinda rude to not answer a person message..if u r not interested in playing or knowing that person ..a simple not interested or we r not interested in you would be nice.i have seen some members leave the site b/c of ppl being rude or just plain disrespectful and not being concerned about other members well being...if u have just a minute i encouraged u to take a minute to be fair and honest and tell that person that u r not interested in them.....we r all members of the lgbt community and we r the best ppl around...f.y.i even straight ppl come to us for advice.......lol

[leelee62]

I have a agree with that, all it takes is a no thank you and everybody is happy xxxx

[19biman61]

I agree wholeheartedly!

[Cesca]

I do not accept that we have an obligation the reply to any members messages any more than we have an obligation to reply to unsolicited PMs in chat. Certainly not if we have never spoken or had any previous contact. I do not consider it bad mannered. It would depend on what was contained in the message, but if someone is unkown to me then I do not think it incumbent on me to reply. Take it as junk mail if you like, and I do.

It is different if they are known to us through chat or from previous contact in some way. Then it becomes a question of manners. Then we do have an obligation to respond.

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

I do not accept that we have an obligation the reply to any members messages any more than we have an obligation to reply to unsolicited PMs in chat. Certainly not if we have never spoken or had any previous contact. I do not consider it bad mannered. It would depend on what was contained in the message, but if someone is unkown to me then I do not think it incumbent on me to reply. Take it as junk mail if you like, and I do.

It is different if they are known to us through chat or from previous contact in some way. Then it becomes a question of manners. Then we do have an obligation to respond.

that is true if u have not spoke b4 ..yea...but if it was a message replied bi something we read in the profile and it was a requirement about us meeting or chatting then yea..other than that no response

[Skater Boy]

Admittedly, I get a tiny bit pissed off when people do it me, but tbh Cesca is right- there's no obligation for ANYONE to reply under ANY circumstances. I've done it myself on occasion... just ignored the message out of lack of time or interest. Although it does help if I'm familiar with the person already, or have a general interest in them.

[Azrael]

Admittedly, I get a tiny bit pissed off when people do it me, but tbh Cesca is right- there's no obligation for ANYONE to reply under ANY circumstances. I've done it myself on occasion... just ignored the message out of lack of time or interest. Although it does help if I'm familiar with the person already, or have a general interest in them.

Totally. I have people from months ago that I need to get back 2.

[DeleteAccount1234]

Not EVERY profile on this site is active.... some people have not logged on for over a year. Most likely they don't even remember this site.
When I was browsing the members list, I saw A LOT.... and I mean A LOT of out of date profiles.

If you are refering to active profiles, not everyone has time to reply or maybe they meant to later but forgot by accident.

I try to reply to all my messages unless the person is just being immature or stupid. (just being rude like one message from awhile ago... a guy asked "Why are you on this site then??" cause I said I WASN'T LOOKING for anything but friendship.

Sometimes people are only comfortable replying if you share the same interests or they know you a little from chat/boards.
Like the others said, people do NOT have to reply to messages if they don't want to.
If they hadn't logged on, maybe they just never got your message.

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

Not EVERY profile on this site is active.... some people have not logged on for over a year. Most likely they don't even remember this site.
When I was browsing the members list, I saw A LOT.... and I mean A LOT of out of date profiles.

If you are refering to active profiles, not everyone has time to reply or maybe they meant to later but forgot by accident.

I try to reply to all my messages unless the person is just being immature or stupid. (just being rude like one message from awhile ago... a guy asked "Why are you on this site then??" cause I said I WASN'T LOOKING for anything but friendship.

Sometimes people are only comfortable replying if you share the same interests or they know you a little from chat/boards.
Like the others said, people do NOT have to reply to messages if they don't want to.
If they hadn't logged on, maybe they just never got your message.

i appreciate the reply's but if u had chatted with them b4 or if u fit their requirements and u r trying break the ice and they r logged in there's no reason y they should not reply...plus it's just outta respect ..u gotta earn b4 u can just get it.....i greatly appreciate your response

[DiamondDog]

Not EVERY profile on this site is active.... some people have not logged on for over a year. Most likely they don't even remember this site.
When I was browsing the members list, I saw A LOT.... and I mean A LOT of out of date profiles.

If you are refering to active profiles, not everyone has time to reply or maybe they meant to later but forgot by accident.

I try to reply to all my messages unless the person is just being immature or stupid. (just being rude like one message from awhile ago... a guy asked "Why are you on this site then??" cause I said I WASN'T LOOKING for anything but friendship.

Sometimes people are only comfortable replying if you share the same interests or they know you a little from chat/boards.
Like the others said, people do NOT have to reply to messages if they don't want to.
If they hadn't logged on, maybe they just never got your message.

Very well said.

I'd also like to add that I'm less likely to reply to a PM if the person hasn't filled out a profile on here or doesn't at least have a pic of their face and not their genitals only. I mean c'mon how hard is it to upload a pic of yourself or at least fill out a profile on a website?

If it's a message that doesn't make any sense at all such as the person does not even ask me a question, just types in random words that don't even make a sentance that I can read, or even writes a message that makes sense I just delete it.

I had one guy just write to me about how he likes to wear panties and I didn't know what to write back so I just deleted it and I had another guy that's an old troll who's into barebacking and being fisted without latex gloves and he just wrote about how he knows I'm really homosexual based on my profile and how I should just come out now.

Also if the person doesn't take the time to read my profile where it says how I'm not here to hook up with strangers or I don't want to be someone's boy on the side while they go home to a partner/wife/husband so if you're looking for that not to write to me, I'll just delete their message.

[Skater Boy]

I'd also like to add that I'm less likely to reply to a PM if the person hasn't filled out a profile on here or doesn't at least have a pic of their face and not their genitals only. I mean c'mon how hard is it to upload a pic of yourself or at least fill out a profile on a website?

If it's a message that doesn't make any sense at all such as the person does not even ask me a question, just types in random words that don't even make a sentance that I can read, or even writes a message that makes sense I just delete it.

I had one guy just write to me about how he likes to wear panties and I didn't know what to write back so I just deleted it and I had another guy that's an old troll who's into barebacking and being fisted without latex gloves and he just wrote about how he knows I'm really homosexual based on my profile and how I should just come out now.

Also if the person doesn't take the time to read my profile where it says how I'm not here to hook up with strangers or I don't want to be someone's boy on the side while they go home to a partner/wife/husband so if you're looking for that not to write to me, I'll just delete their message.

Ditto.

[welickit]

If we got an email from someone that has to abbreviate words rather than taking the time to write....we would see that as rude. Perhaps you should clean your own house before calling someone else's dirty. No offense intended just a point of view. Bi the way, we answer all emails that aren't totally rude or crude. We agree that a reply is polite.......assuming the email you get lives up to your standards.

[darkeyes]

If we got an email from someone that has to abbreviate words rather than taking the time to write....we would see that as rude. Perhaps you should clean your own house before calling someone else's dirty. No offense intended just a point of view. Bi the way, we answer all emails that aren't totally rude or crude. We agree that a reply is polite.......assuming the email you get lives up to your standards.

Mesends e's 2 me m8s an them me luffs..me sends messages on ere for same reason.. cos me abbreviates or owt else, take offence at it an that person wudn b me m8 ne longa..ya takes me asya finds me..like it lump it or jus iggie it... its of sod all interest 2 me cept me don like losin m8s or peeps me luffs..but if they cant accept me for me idiosyncracies all me sez is sod em!!!

[jem_is_bi]

I get very few personal messages from anyone on this site. However, I have responded unless I feel a response is not needed or not appropriate. When I was actively looking for a partner on another site, I received a lot of messages and always responded. I can understand feeling disappointed when you reach out to someone and no response is received. However, forget about it. Don’t let it cause anxiety or make you unhappy.

JEM

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

I get very few personal messages from anyone on this site. However, I have responded unless I feel a response is not needed or not appropriate. When I was actively looking for a partner on another site, I received a lot of messages and always responded. I can understand feeling disappointed when you reach out to someone and no response is received. However, forget about it. Don’t let it cause anxiety or make you unhappy.

JEM

thank you for your response my fellow members....that is a good and true point u made gem about the response from other sites.i have join other sites with pic and complete profiles and got many responses fron ppl that i have ever had and responded when i could and the thing here is i honestly believe that ppl who have profiles that r not completely filled out r either fakes or ppl who r trying to intervene into other members business or trying to play with their emotional......i also see me as trying to reach out to others especiallly members in my area..thx a mil jem...

[hotsexylatinachick]

I agree with everyone but still we all need to reply at least and be nice towards other peoples feelings. Anyways does this also count on these threads cause I've notice some people look at them but they don't say nothing all or even take the time to. Well much love to all of you!
Xoxo
Stephanie

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

hey sexy....in a way it does because most ppl can relate to any blog really if they want and u got some that r just plain selfish and do not care to share their experience....this is a site of three major things expression,meeting new ppl,and mainly chatting...other than that i see no difference in expression of blogs....chocolate hugz sweet.....

[darkeyes]

hey sexy....in a way it does because most ppl can relate to any blog really if they want and u got some that r just plain selfish and do not care to share their experience....this is a site of three major things expression,meeting new ppl,and mainly chatting...other than that i see no difference in expression of blogs....chocolate hugz sweet.....

htf Choccie is not sharin ya experience selfish???? strange boy. tee hee:tong:

[onewhocares]

Well, I guess that I do not stand on circumstance when someone sends me a note...


I wish I could say that I am one who disregards even passing through type messages, but I am not. I have never thought of myself as rude, so I would send a how do you do back to them. And guess what...if they do not want to be interested in a tall blonde from Boston who is so much not the A typical woman...ha ha...,there loss.

[bediddle]

Perhaps this doesn't really add anything to the original issue but one bad experience does stick in my mind.

I responded to a PM once just to say I wasn't interested and I got a really nasty response back. Let me see if I can find it....

Ah... here you go.

"ur a fag ... thanx for wasting my time"

But still, I respond to PMs.

[darkeyes]

Well, I guess that I do not stand on circumstance when someone sends me a note...


I wish I could say that I am one who disregards even passing through type messages, but I am not. I have never thought of myself as rude, so I would send a how do you do back to them. And guess what...if they do not want to be interested in a tall blonde from Boston who is so much not the A typical woman...ha ha...,there loss.

God Belle.... if me had the slitest idea ya wer tall....... ya wudda had lotsa lil messages by now. tee hee sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh:tong:

[vices2habits]

hello i am chocolatecity some of u know me and some of u don't.....i am posting this thread because i have seen some couples profile and i have wrote them and it seem like they do not respond and i think it is kinda rude to not answer a person message..if u r not interested in playing or knowing that person ..a simple not interested or we r not interested in you would be nice.i have seen some members leave the site b/c of ppl being rude or just plain disrespectful and not being concerned about other members well being...if u have just a minute i encouraged u to take a minute to be fair and honest and tell that person that u r not interested in them.....we r all members of the lgbt community and we r the best ppl around...f.y.i even straight ppl come to us for advice.......lol


As gently as I can, I will suggest to you (not "u") that perhaps the people (not "ppl") to which you have written (not "have wrote") are not (not "r not") all that interested in someone who will not even take the extra couple of seconds that it takes to write in Standard American English.

Think about it. Your written words are, for the most part, all that you have to represent yourself to those whom you want to meet. Would you deliberately show up for a blind date wearing dirty, stained clothes, your hair a mess with dirt behind your ears and under your fingernails, and your breath reeking of last Friday's garlic-covered pizza? I hope not... but that is what such deliberately sloppy & lazy writing conveys to some folks, and some folks would take an approach to them which is written in such a deliberately lazy, sloppy way as disrespecting them.

I do answer most PM's... but I cannot be bothered with any PM-ers who seem to proudly be aspiring to abject illiteracy.

:2cents:

[DeleteAccount1234]

I rarely response to messages if they type very short messages that has the words all cut up shorter:

like "u" "r" "ppl" "remmy" "cum" (for "Come") "s8" and so on.

I understand sometimes someones in a hurry but wanted to reply to me quickly but still... that happens rarely.

Oh god.... once my nephew typed in MSN: "r u cumming over tmw?"
my reply:
"No, Im not cumming over.... but Im COMING over yes." lol
From then on, he used the proper word for "Coming"
(I did tell him Cumming was a sexual term and he shouldn't use it unless hes talking about sex!!)

I like to type everything!!! Words are FUN.
Im a "list taker" so I write things down a lot too. :) lol

I DO NOT response to messages either if someone CLEARLY did not read my profile.

[jedinudist]

Don't forget the ones that write to you, and you never hear back from them once you respond. :(

[DeleteAccount1234]

Don't forget the ones that write to you, and you never hear back from them once you respond. :(

YES lol I hate that!!
You get a nice message from someone, you like their profile and all, so you reply back.
Then you see they were online recently but they never reply to you back.

I hate that.
Sometimes you get a nice message and it becomes a battle with you rmind "should I write back? what if they don't reply??" lol (cause you don't want to waste your time if they won't reply hehe)

[Skater Boy]

Heeey, thats a Nice Ibanez, JediNudist! Looks like an RG-something-or-other... 24 frets... can't quite tell if its got an Edge Pro trem from here, but it looks sweet... either you don't play it much, or you take real good care of it, or its just a photo prop! ;) which is it?

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

YES lol I hate that!!
You get a nice message from someone, you like their profile and all, so you reply back.
Then you see they were online recently but they never reply to you back.

I hate that.
Sometimes you get a nice message and it becomes a battle with you rmind "should I write back? what if they don't reply??" lol (cause you don't want to waste your time if they won't reply hehe)

i totally agree with your message and your response nice that was my whole point of this whole blog...some get it...some don't

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

As gently as I can, I will suggest to you (not "u") that perhaps the people (not "ppl") to which you have written (not "have wrote") are not (not "r not") all that interested in someone who will not even take the extra couple of seconds that it takes to write in Standard American English.

Think about it. Your written words are, for the most part, all that you have to represent yourself to those whom you want to meet. Would you deliberately show up for a blind date wearing dirty, stained clothes, your hair a mess with dirt behind your ears and under your fingernails, and your breath reeking of last Friday's garlic-covered pizza? I hope not... but that is what such deliberately sloppy & lazy writing conveys to some folks, and some folks would take an approach to them which is written in such a deliberately lazy, sloppy way as disrespecting them.

I do answer most PM's... but I cannot be bothered with any PM-ers who seem to proudly be aspiring to abject illiteracy.

:2cents: your message reeks badly i was the only one who wrote my message in half words..but a lot of times we all write our words like this because of a quick response...so don't criticize my writing.......

[lashalane]

As gently as I can, I will suggest to you (not "u") that perhaps the people (not "ppl") to which you have written (not "have wrote") are not (not "r not") all that interested in someone who will not even take the extra couple of seconds that it takes to write in Standard American English.

Think about it. Your written words are, for the most part, all that you have to represent yourself to those whom you want to meet. Would you deliberately show up for a blind date wearing dirty, stained clothes, your hair a mess with dirt behind your ears and under your fingernails, and your breath reeking of last Friday's garlic-covered pizza? I hope not... but that is what such deliberately sloppy & lazy writing conveys to some folks, and some folks would take an approach to them which is written in such a deliberately lazy, sloppy way as disrespecting them.

I do answer most PM's... but I cannot be bothered with any PM-ers who seem to proudly be aspiring to abject illiteracy.

:2cents:

ROFLMAO.. and here I thought you were just the spelling monitor. I purposely left this thread alone because I knew I'd be labeled "QUEEN UBER BITCH" and I haven't been here long enough to really bask in that title.. So from the bottom of my heart... I say THANK YOU!

I think I ::heart:: you!!

[vices2habits]

ROFLMAO.. and here I thought you were just the spelling monitor. I purposely left this thread alone because I knew I'd be labeled "QUEEN UBER BITCH" and I haven't been here long enough to really bask in that title.. So from the bottom of my heart... I say THANK YOU!

I think I ::heart:: you!!
Thanks. I appreciate the kind thought.

And spelling monitor I certainly am not... except when it is appropriately useful to illustrate some other, more important point, as it was in that particular post.

I do believe that, over time, we will both find out that we agree with one another's point of view much more often than not... as it is, I haven't seen much in your posts to even quibble with (the long -- quite on-target, IMHO -- rant on the face pictures thread comes to mind).

Cheers,

V2H

[vices2habits]

your message reeks badly i was the only one who wrote my message in half words..but a lot of times we all write our words like this because of a quick response...so don't criticize my writing.......

Yeah, I know... and the quick response that you get in return -- often no response at all, hence this thread's very existence -- is "not interested."

You can keep doing the same thing and expect a different result if you like... you can keep believing on Wednesday what you believed on Monday, regardless of what happened on Tuesday... or you can let people help you to correct what doesn't work. Your choice.

:cool:

[lashalane]

(the long -- quite on-target, IMHO -- rant on the face pictures thread comes to mind).

Cheers,

V2H

long rant...pfft.. that was the edited version. :P

[darkeyes]

Wy standard merican English, Vices babes??? Lota peeps in ere aint merican..Brits , Oz, Kiwis, Irish, Welsh, Scots,a few Dutch, greeks, finnish, a dishy South African an otha odds n sods..o yea..an me... peeps rite as an extension of the personality..an if they don they shud... mite make undastandin each otha lil more diff, but least it mite make us start 2 think a lil more ratha than jus parrot out usual ole bollox so many dus...

Me many things.. 1 thing me is not an neva will b is a lazy riter... hard 2 believe huh? :tong:

But spose ya wud take issue wiv me..s'ok.. no 2 peeps think quite alike..ur choice...

[vices2habits]

long rant...pfft.. that was the edited version. :P

My turn: ROTFLMAO! Guffaw!

You can churn out the prose, dear... I've read your profile twice, now. Good stuff, if there's a young dude lucky enough to get ya.

:cool:

[vices2habits]

Wy standard merican English, Vices babes???
Because... as a trained imperialist colonizer bent on world hegemony, such blatantly insensitive references will occasionally just pop out -- completely unconsidered -- from the unconscious.

Lota peeps in ere aint merican..Brits , Oz, Kiwis, Irish, Welsh, Scots,a few Dutch, greeks, finnish, a dishy South African an otha odds n sods..o yea..an me... peeps rite as an extension of the personality..an if they don they shud... mite make undastandin each otha lil more diff, but least it mite make us start 2 think a lil more ratha than jus parrot out usual ole bollox so many dus...
So right you are... my bad. So, to you and all: my sincerest apologies.

Me many things.. 1 thing me is not an neva will b is a lazy riter... hard 2 believe huh? :tong:

But spose ya wud take issue wiv me..s'ok.. no 2 peeps think quite alike..ur choice...
No, DarkEyes... I take no issue with you at all. What you write takes more work and creativity than I could possibly muster... sorta reminiscient of t.s. eliot, in your own unique way. It takes some work to decode at first, I'll admit. But that passes fairly quickly, for you're excruciatingly consistent. And then, on top of that, you always have something interesting to say.

[darkeyes]

...on top of that, you always have something interesting to say.
Tell that 2 Naggy will ya babes...she sez me an opinionated loud mouthed tart.. dontcha jus luff er???:bigrin:

[bhg08054]

I never reply when the sender has stated (or insinuated) that they are planning on cheating on their spouse. I think it's better to ignore those messages than to get into a flame war.

I also have the very bad habit of planning to reply "later", and then getting off onto other things and never remembering to do it.

I've also found myself getting uncomfortable when someone starts pushing for a meeting long before I feel comfortable. If they don't understand this the first time, they go into my ignore list.

[vittoria]

As gently as I can, I will suggest to you (not "u") that perhaps the people (not "ppl") to which you have written (not "have wrote") are not (not "r not") all that interested in someone who will not even take the extra couple of seconds that it takes to write in Standard American English.

Think about it. Your written words are, for the most part, all that you have to represent yourself to those whom you want to meet. Would you deliberately show up for a blind date wearing dirty, stained clothes, your hair a mess with dirt behind your ears and under your fingernails, and your breath reeking of last Friday's garlic-covered pizza? I hope not... but that is what such deliberately sloppy & lazy writing conveys to some folks, and some folks would take an approach to them which is written in such a deliberately lazy, sloppy way as disrespecting them.

I do answer most PM's... but I cannot be bothered with any PM-ers who seem to proudly be aspiring to abject illiteracy.

:2cents::offtopic:

i think you better take that up with darkeyes, who types in the vernacular daily...

the point of the post was not "how to type" or "critique humans to make them feel bad".

the point, i imagine, was people who are rude ( like yourself) and place their prerequisites in their profile..and upon reading said profile someone writes a PM, then never responds.

back to the topic at hand...i agree that some people dont return to the site for one reason or another, and at times, one cant blame them. other times, when you have typed to someone and you notice that they dont respond to you, take it as another human who doesnt know what a beautiful person they missed out on--no matter HOW they type. this IS the internet after all... one cannot expect perfection from imperfect people---the best typists can be the rudest people (case in point...)---the coolest humans can be the ones that use abbreviations to type:

ppl= people
r= are
stOOpid=stupid

;)

(rude ppl are usually blocked so i'll never have to see their ilk again...)

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

Because... as a trained imperialist colonizer bent on world hegemony, such blatantly insensitive references will occasionally just pop out -- completely unconsidered -- from the unconscious.

So right you are... my bad. So, to you and all: my sincerest apologies.

No, DarkEyes... I take no issue with you at all. What you write takes more work and creativity than I could possibly muster... sorta reminiscient of t.s. eliot, in your own unique way. It takes some work to decode at first, I'll admit. But that passes fairly quickly, for you're excruciatingly consistent. And then, on top of that, you always have something interesting to say.

this thread is bi me and fuck u...i also see that u have no respect for other members opinion....futhermore u r very heavy on criticism and on bisexual.com we do not tolerate that and u sir r an ass...plus i also see l u r a very racist person....so what if u read certain ppl profiles and u r not interested in them...if lashalane...is a heavy set woman so r other women and men and u sir r very much so an ass.....plus we consider ourselves a huge l.b.g.t family..and bisexual.com is our home do not fuck it up.....moron

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

:offtopic:

i think you better take that up with darkeyes, who types in the vernacular daily...

the point of the post was not "how to type" or "critique humans to make them feel bad".

the point, i imagine, was people who are rude ( like yourself) and place their prerequisites in their profile..and upon reading said profile someone writes a PM, then never responds.

back to the topic at hand...i agree that some people dont return to the site for one reason or another, and at times, one cant blame them. other times, when you have typed to someone and you notice that they dont respond to you, take it as another human who doesnt know what a beautiful person they missed out on--no matter HOW they type. this IS the internet after all... one cannot expect perfection from imperfect people---the best typists can be the rudest people (case in point...)---the coolest humans can be the ones that use abbreviations to type:

ppl= people
r= are
stOOpid=stupid

;)

(rude ppl are usually blocked so i'll never have to see their ilk again...)

thank you vittoria....another positive correction for the racist moron...plus fran is a very well respected lezzy here and she is considered family and we all understand some of her writing plus just in case u have not notice...she is from a different speaking background.....i would spell that for u but it is to long .....anyway we don't get 2 many moron's here maybe an ass here and a ass there but u r the latest moron we have had and frankly speaking we have had members leave here because of ppl like u...so if u do not like the words or different languages or the positive support we r giving off here u could just leave us the hell alone......and make like the worst case scenrio in the family and never cum back.......see u later moron....thx vittoria for ur support love ...chocolate hugz....

[lashalane]

.if lashalane...is a heavy set woman so r other women and men and u sir r very much so an ass....

just a slight correction.. I know you are trying to be politically correct, but I am not "heavy set". I am a full on Fat Ass! :bigrin: Just don't want anyone to get confused.

[vices2habits]

this thread is bi me and fuck u...
You eat with that mouth?

i also see that u have no respect for other members opinion....
I engage everyone equally on the substance of their ideas, opinions, and arguments... I do not attack them personally, as you have done to me here.

In your case, you expressed a difficulty in getting responses to your PM's. I offered a possible explanation, but instead of taking the criticism in stride (let alone considering it), you're still crying about your hurt feelings and lashing out like a baby.

futhermore u r very heavy on criticism and on bisexual.com we do not tolerate that
Nonsense. Criticism is part and parcel of open dialogue and discussion. If anything is not permitted, it is name-calling and personal attacks. I criticized your behavior, not you personally.

plus i also see l u r a very racist person....
Criticizing your behavior makes me a racist, now? Is that all you got... the race card?

Now I'm gonna tell you what's going to be here:

you are going to justify that remark -- with specifics and in detail -- or you are going to apologize. One or the other. Otherwise, I will make a career out of having you banned from this site.


:mad:

[vices2habits]

i think you better take that up with darkeyes, who types in the vernacular daily...
Rude is not reading the forum that you're posting to. Had you done that, you'd have seen that just three posts up from yours -- #35 --
I had complimentary things to say about darkeyes posts and unique language usage.


the point of the post was not "how to type" or "critique humans to make them feel bad".
The point and subject of the thread was difficulty in getting responses to PM's.

You confuse and conflate writing and typing. The critique was about writing and how one's writing represents them... or misrepresents them... or badly represents them... whatever the case may be. Typing had nothing to do with it.

And you're a mind-reader, too? Now that's talent. I couldn't tell you what your motivation was to completely misconstrue, confuse, and mangle what was really a very simple idea, and then concoct this rambling, long-winded insult of yours. How do you do that?

From where do you come up with the notion -- much mistaken, I assure you -- that my intent was to "critique humans to make them feel bad?" Is this reading/writing thing new for you, or what?


the point, i imagine, was people who are rude ( like yourself) and place their prerequisites in their profile..and upon reading said profile someone writes a PM, then never responds.
See... I knew it. A misread.

The point was NOT that the writer of the PM never responds -- as you just stated (and which makes zero sense) -- but that the creator of the profile does not respond to the writer of the PM.

But you probably did not intend to write or convey that, but you ended up doing so because you were probably more focused on slinging the gratuitous insult at me than in clearly making your point.


back to the topic at hand...i agree that some people dont return to the site for one reason or another, and at times, one cant blame them. other times, when you have typed to someone and you notice that they dont respond to you, take it as another human who doesnt know what a beautiful person they missed out on--no matter HOW they type. this IS the internet after all... one cannot expect perfection from imperfect people---the best typists can be the rudest people (case in point...)---the coolest humans can be the ones that use abbreviations to type:

ppl= people
r= are
stOOpid=stupid

;)

(rude ppl are usually blocked so i'll never have to see their ilk again...)

One can expect sloppy thinking to live behind sloppy writing... case in point.

~*~

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

just a slight correction.. I know you are trying to be politically correct, but I am not "heavy set". I am a full on Fat Ass! :bigrin: Just don't want anyone to get confused.

my apology...ms. lane......although i would not mind seeing a gr8 pic of ur ass...lol

[31cho]

Rude is not reading the forum that you're posting to. Had you done that, you'd have seen that just three posts up from yours -- #35 --
I had complimentary things to say about darkeyes posts and unique language usage.


The point and subject of the thread was difficulty in getting responses to PM's.

You confuse and conflate writing and typing. The critique was about writing and how one's writing represents them... or misrepresents them... or badly represents them... whatever the case may be. Typing had nothing to do with it.

And you're a mind-reader, too? Now that's talent. I couldn't tell you what your motivation was to completely misconstrue, confuse, and mangle what was really a very simple idea, and then concoct this rambling, long-winded insult of yours. How do you do that?

From where do you come up with the notion -- much mistaken, I assure you -- that my intent was to "critique humans to make them feel bad?" Is this reading/writing thing new for you, or what?


See... I knew it. A misread.

The point was NOT that the writer of the PM never responds -- as you just stated (and which makes zero sense) -- but that the creator of the profile does not respond to the writer of the PM.

But you probably did not intend to write or convey that, but you ended up doing so because you were probably more focused on slinging the gratuitous insult at me than in clearly making your point.



One can expect sloppy thinking to live behind sloppy writing... case in point.

~*~

Wow. What a sad state of affairs.

GROW UP. One person writes a forum.

Another person wants to flame them for what they wrote. So sorry if not everyone is a college grad--didnt mean to offend your sensiblities, V2H--

Respect people for who they are.... if you cant, then dont talk to them.

Maybe if you read what Vittoria wrote earlier, she said she BLOCKED YOU, so she cant read the nasty things you just wrote--CAUSE SHE APPARENTLY DOESNT CARE what YOU think about her... a lot of people have better things to do than live up to your "holier than thou" standards. She has a LOT of friends on here who can and will defend her in her absence. If this was hockey, I would have thrown down the gloves a LONG time ago:banghead:

This post isnt about you, V2H..

Notice posting rule number 2...
"2. Be polite - flame the idea if you feel you must, but not the person"--yet that is all I have seen you do... 'flame' the person. The term is 'crass'.

And another one bites the dust--anything nasty you have to say about the truth I will never see, you are blocked from me as well. Pity our community is diminished and demeaned so badly.

Maybe YOU need to read the forum before you comment on it with a bit of empathy--not high handed condescention.

:2cents:

[Azrael]

Ok, so occasionally I lapse into IM speak and may not come off as polished or even slightly educated. However, here's my justification- as a bipolar, I get really amped up sometimes. I can usually spell quite well and properly punctuate. When I pass a certain speed, though, grammar kinda gets thrown out the window. If I'm trying to capture a thought, I will cut whatever corners I must to record it before my mind jumps to another tangent. It's how I've held on to what I consider my most useful ideas.
Seriously, I know I'm guilty of this kinda shit. I'm not brow-beating anyone here, just trying to share some perspective. A lot of members of my generation couldn't give two shits about proper english. A lot of people, like my younger siblings, were born into the 'culture' of AIM, Myspace and whathaveyou. Hell, my 12 year old brother knows more HTML than me. It's partially an environmental thing, and also a testament to how pathetic the American education system has become.
I tend to favor people who are articulate, but I have had some wonderful friendships with people who are very basic, salt of the Earth folk. I knew a man who only had a tenth grade education in the seventies. He seems like a doofy redneck on the surface, but this man understands applied thermodynamics better than my college professor sister. He has an amazing capacity for geometric thinking, and can build damn near anything. People tried to tell me this guy was stupid. That's because most people never dig past the superficial bullshit.
A little elitism can be healthy, but it's really easy to go too far.
Point of all this is, don't be so quick to pidgeonhole people as 'racist', 'sexist' or 'closed-minded' just because they beg to differ. I know I'm a big filthy hypocrite, but I TRY to be a nice guy. I just get burnt out and overwhelmed a lot. I know this isn't about me but I;m just trying to make some sense out of this.
Let's try to curb the fecal slinging. None of this is worth getting all bent out of shape over. Save that precious rage for the upcoming election.

[pamandfredcpl]

How about the members who send you an email that says only respond if you intend to play. I think these are just rude. We do like to meet with people and sometimes we, if everyone gets along play. For us this is like blind dating only its that times 3 or 4 as everyone at least needs to like and respect everyone else. As for other email we do respond (if there is some initial intrest we like to exchange phone #'s and get together for coffee).

[nailchewer]

ok, heres a thought...... how does one get to know another if we're not spending all our time in chat?...... whats the harm in sending an e-mail?..... you can't respond?..... it doesn't take but a few minutes, if that, to say a little or to say you're short on time, and you'll get back.... as far as a face pic is concerned, i prefer to get a mental match before sending a face pic.... the pic on my profile shows an effort, and if it offends anyone, then i guess its a quick way to find out that it wouldn't have worked anyway..... i look past things and take all things into account before making my own opinion, more people should try it........ just my rant......lol

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

ok, heres a thought...... how does one get to know another if we're not spending all our time in chat?...... whats the harm in sending an e-mail?..... you can't respond?..... it doesn't take but a few minutes, if that, to say a little or to say you're short on time, and you'll get back.... as far as a face pic is concerned, i prefer to get a mental match before sending a face pic.... the pic on my profile shows an effort, and if it offends anyone, then i guess its a quick way to find out that it wouldn't have worked anyway..... i look past things and take all things into account before making my own opinion, more people should try it........ just my rant......lol

once again thank you members for your opinion.....that's a gr8 opinion nailchewer.....i look at it as u see a intrest and u respond then u do not get a response or some ppl ignore it because they r being selfish......as far as face pics i think it's an outrage because some ppl just wanna see ur face pic so they can judge u or ur body i only put up body pics if we r not gonna meet or chat on any im's or show no intrest just the pics we choose to put up is fine ...plus we have a shit load of undercover pervs.....real l.g.b.t members put up full profile's and pics

[proseros]

Ughh.

Simply because everyone-whoever they are-has the wrong thing on their mind to begin with. No I haven't read every post in this thread but I've scoured it enough NOT to have found that the word "courtesy" is used once in any of them.
And people still hate people who come along and try to change things.

As in an earlier post "My God we are all so afraid of one another."

It certainly is encumbent upon me to respond to anyone who has bothered to acknowledge my miserable existence. My mother taught me that even if you have NOTHING to say, AT LEAST say "Thank You."

You don't have to answer the phone but you should return the call. If you don't like what you hear, just say "Thank you", and goodnight.

[the mage]

Wow... we've run full head on into a cultural wall people. (or ppl if u prefr)
I don't think offense was meant, but there is not the realization of just how real, common, and normal, the way you type is among the ppl you know in ur life. But, to others its seen as lazy short cuts. Its text V/s type cultural gap!
Geeze I still use "valour" and assorted U's the yanks dont.

Really though, it is simply as I've said before, a function of the size and the anonymity of the web and the site that makes rudeness and shortcuts both normal.

[**Peg**]

V I mean c'mon how hard is it to upload a pic of yourself or at least fill out a profile on a website?

precisely Dog: in fact, so much so, that I had to put that in my profile: if YOU don't have a profile, please respect my privacy/don't pm me. I had to take out the WildHotMonkeyS comment as I got pm's from mostly.....well ..... animals !! lol :tong:

[Uneedhands]

hello i am chocolatecity some of u know me and some of u don't.....i am posting this thread because i have seen some couples profile and i have wrote them and it seem like they do not respond and i think it is kinda rude to not answer a person message..if u r not interested in playing or knowing that person ..a simple not interested or we r not interested in you would be nice.i have seen some members leave the site b/c of ppl being rude or just plain disrespectful and not being concerned about other members well being...if u have just a minute i encouraged u to take a minute to be fair and honest and tell that person that u r not interested in them.....we r all members of the lgbt community and we r the best ppl around...f.y.i even straight ppl come to us for advice.......lol

I disagree. "if you can't say something nice, say nothing at all." Maybe they follow that addage (I don't), and had nothing nice in mind. To each their own. Do whatever you want unless it stops me from doing whatever I want. You can't force "common courtesy" on people.

[Uneedhands]

Wy standard merican English, Vices babes??? Lota peeps in ere aint merican..Brits , Oz, Kiwis, Irish, Welsh, Scots,a few Dutch, greeks, finnish, a dishy South African an otha odds n sods..o yea..an me... peeps rite as an extension of the personality..an if they don they shud... mite make undastandin each otha lil more diff, but least it mite make us start 2 think a lil more ratha than jus parrot out usual ole bollox so many dus...

Me many things.. 1 thing me is not an neva will b is a lazy riter... hard 2 believe huh? :tong:

But spose ya wud take issue wiv me..s'ok.. no 2 peeps think quite alike..ur choice...

Is English your second language? ...can anyone translate?

[missmystical]

I do not accept that we have an obligation the reply to any members messages any more than we have an obligation to reply to unsolicited PMs in chat. Certainly not if we have never spoken or had any previous contact. I do not consider it bad mannered. It would depend on what was contained in the message, but if someone is unkown to me then I do not think it incumbent on me to reply. Take it as junk mail if you like, and I do.

It is different if they are known to us through chat or from previous contact in some way. Then it becomes a question of manners. Then we do have an obligation to respond.

I agree with you. CESCA.. no one have the obligation to reply..if they dont want to.. people have their reasons , maybe still shy or not ready to reply yet.. sometimes i just enjoy reading and see what everyone think about certain topics and its quite interesting.. ..if i am interested in something , then i will reply ... so guys .. pls understand . no reply? ?means not interested. and dont be offended .. thats why we have this forum..

[Uneedhands]

Wy standard merican English, Vices babes??? Lota peeps in ere aint merican..Brits , Oz, Kiwis, Irish, Welsh, Scots,a few Dutch, greeks, finnish, a dishy South African an otha odds n sods..o yea..an me... peeps rite as an extension of the personality..an if they don they shud... mite make undastandin each otha lil more diff, but least it mite make us start 2 think a lil more ratha than jus parrot out usual ole bollox so many dus...

Me many things.. 1 thing me is not an neva will b is a lazy riter... hard 2 believe huh? :tong:

But spose ya wud take issue wiv me..s'ok.. no 2 peeps think quite alike..ur choice...


Is English your second language? ...can anyone translate?

I just finished reading the rest of this thread. It was kinda long. takes a while to get through; I'm a slow reader. I don't care how you write or express yourself. I don't mind vulger words, I'm no prig. Who cares about the odd shortcut, or wordplay in the interest of creativity...
I admit I jabbed at you there, but I got annoyed because All that matters to me is:
what are you saying. Whats the point. (Unless I'm reading a certain book by Anthony Burgess, or Dickens...)
...and it took me 50 years to read the first crude attempt at a sentance. lol
I would be chuffed if it were filled with colorful LANGUAGE and interesting ideas. Bollox is definately a cool word. So is personality. But the rest of it is extreme, deliberate overkill on the phonetic yet confusing mispelling, that tears my mind away from the point. The only extra thought provoking I see it doing is trying to figure out what each word is supposed to be. What's in your head? Give me the substance.
Anyway, I won't jab at your jive anymore. I was bored today and I took the time to decifer it, and I agree. Fine. Go to town, but I'm funny. Just ask me, I'll tell ya.
Why American? Like they're any kind of authority on English!
Maybe we should all type like Noofies.

[rissababynta]

i just want to say that there have been times in chat where someone with pm me and say "how come you haven't gotten back to me, you could have just said i'm not interested and left it at that" and i have no idea what they are talking about because i never got a message from them! if anyone here has ever tried to send me a message and i didn't respond then i'm sorry. al i know is i respond to every message i get so if i don't it means i didn't get it...