Bi Guys, how do you tell that special girl your bi? Need Advice!

[Promising Galahad]

Okay, I met a girl the other night. She's alot younger than me but she doesn't seem to mind. We just met.Its business and I'll be seeing alot of her. I got some vibes that she was into me.Deep eye contact,very touchy,paid me lots of compliments,told me I'm a nice dresser and that I look way younger than I really am. All good,from what I can tell.Others noticed this as well and I am very happy.She looks like she could be a Victoria's Secret model PLUS she is down to earth and appears to be a kind person. I asked a couple people about her who know her and heres what I found out. She is dating but has no boyfriend.She works alot and does alot of charitable activitys.Everyone says she is genuine and a real sweetheart. So, so far so good.

Heres my problem. I want to see more of her and get to know her.I want my sexual orientaion to come up fast.I think its fair and honest and I want that out of the way early on. Problem is, I don't want to ruin my chance with her. What can I say and how can I bring it up? I want to put to rest alot of myths and sterotypes about us bi's but I want it to be fast. I don;t want to ramble on and make it sound like its a big deal.

If there are any women here, what concersn do you have with a bi man? What questions do you want answered? I could use any advice! Thanks!

[FalconAngel]

Wait and see if something really begins to happen, first. If it looks as if a relationship is definitely going to happen, then feel her out on the subject of Bisexuality.

If her feelings are negative, then she may not be right for you after all.

However, if she is open to the fact that bisexuality exists and she is accepting of it in others, then you could let her in on your bisexuality.

And if you do tell her, make very clear your feelings for her. You could also lead her to all of the various websites and research studies for bisexuality.

[Promising Galahad]

Thanks. I don;t want to screw this up. I have NEVER cheated on anyone and considering I have done alot of dumb things I am not proud of in life, the fact I have never been unfaithful is something I feel good about. I think because I am bi it has made me more of an honest and faithful person. If I tell her that I'm afraid she'll think its a line.

Still, being bi is tough because your asking the other person to take a chance that some how seems bigger than if she was interested in a heterosexual guy. Its not fair but thats how it seems to be.Hey, thanks for the advice!

[welickit]

Lots of key words in your post.
She is younger
It is business
Sounds like she knows how to advance herself in the business world and make you look like a fool in the process. Back off and give her the rope. She will either hang herself or lasso you

[Promising Galahad]

Its not like that.She has nothing to gain. We are working together so no one person is gonna come out ahead (so to speak) besides, she was flirting way before we knew we'd be working together.Not sure what in my post would have automatically made you think that.

[DiamondDog]

Lots of key words in your post.
She is younger
It is business
Sounds like she knows how to advance herself in the business world and make you look like a fool in the process. Back off and give her the rope. She will either hang herself or lasso you

I agree.

If this is someone who you work with don't date or get into a relationship with them since it's just not a good idea, especially if they hold power over you in your job.

Ever hear of the saying, "Don't shit where you eat"?

I would never date or get into a relationship with someone who I work with since you have to work with this person too and if things don't work out you're basically fucked. Also lots of companies do not even allow this sort of thing to happen, or at least highly discourage it, and do consider it to be sexual harassment.

[the mage]

Theres no need to relate your history untill she asks or there is a genuine attachment that includes trust

I met my first wife at work as in reality so many of us do, I was the Q.C. guy over her production. We lasted over a year like that no problem.
I was indeed terminated when the company found out but our marriage lasted 20 good years..

[lashalane]

I agree.. never date a co-worker! PERIOD. It isnt worth the trouble and the risk of embarrassment. What if she is a mouthy type? Yes you are upfront about your sexuality, as you should be, but I am sure you would have a problem about it being gossiped about if it turns out that she just isnt that cool with it.

Ever thought about dating a bisexual woman. An open one? Personally, I have decided to only date a bi-sexual man. For anything serious that is. I think that would be the only person that could truly understand what my sexual make-up is about.

I think I should have left this topic alone. I am all about open or semi open bisexual relationships. Most people are not like me, so maybe being in a monogamous relationship with a straight woman works for you, but I can only see problems arising from it.

~L~

[Promising Galahad]

Okay, I have to ask this question again. What key words? Are you always this suscpicous of people? Younger and business. Hmmm. Like I said, this is not a situation like that. We are working together but there is nothing to gain.We won't be in a office working side by side. More or less we'll have a reason to talk and email and maybe get together but what ever sinister plot you think I or her have its all in your head. Nothing in my post suggest such a thing and I resent your snap judgements.

Lets pretend I never mentioned us working together. Big mistake on my part. Not sure what work has to do with the question I asked but it seems like a couple people can't draw their attention away from that minor point. I mean, because of YOUR views on dating co-workers you've already doomed my chances. Thanks! If I want your advice on dating co-workers I'll ask. That wasn;t my question though.

I guess unless I bore you with all the details that may go on for paragraphs you'll just assume whatever.I'm looking for real advice.This is not a 9-5 job where we are at a desk.We're both artist working pretty much in our homes. She's in the next state over so everyone already has the wrong idea.

My question was not what are her motives or even the job.It was how to go about telling her about my sexuality and it seems like a couple people have made it into a soap opera or are focusing on the job and something else. :rolleyes:

I appreciate the advice from those who actually read my post and can FOCUS on the question.

[dancechic17]

I think you're on the right track with the fact that you should tell her upfront and quickly, not let the relationship get so far gone that you feel like you can't tell her. If you are comfortable with someone and feel like you can tell them anything, then just bring the subject up. Yes, you could hint at bisexuality or ask her opinion on it, say you have "a friend," etc. or you could just come out and tell her. However, I would not recommend telling her until you have been clear about your feelings for her. If she knows you care about her, then she will know that you aren't saying this just to hurt her but are instead trying to be honest with her because you do care so much. Also making it clear that being bi does not mean cheating is important. A lot of people it seems think that being bi means you will want sex with the same sex all the time in addition to your current opposite sex partner and this is not true. Like you said, you have never cheated and yes, that is an admirable quality! Hopefully she is open-minded and accepting and if not, then maybe she's not the girl for you so don't feel too bad, you deserve someone who completely understands and accepts you for who you are.

This is all just my opinion and I hope it helped in some way. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!! :)

[Promising Galahad]

Hey thanks! Helpful advice and something to think about. Again, thanks for listening!