the female connection

[dafydd]

as a bi guy, who has spent more time with men, i feel that i am totally out of sorts with what women want. recently i saw gorgeous blonde on the bus who had the most amazing legs but i was too stricken to say anything. it was of major importance to me that she didn't return my gaze, and left me wondering if being out of the straight game for so long has left me totally deskilled to flirt.
At a work function i succeeded ion attracting the attention of the post room boy who offered me a BJ outside the fire escape (I declined) and yet of the 3 fit women that spent the evening around my desk i managed nothing. i'd like to just stick with men, but there's always that cute blonde on the bus. Thoughts? Should i just go gay?

d

[transcendMental]

Dafydd, some of us have never learned to flirt with either sex. That doesn't mean that we're not interested or that we should give up and be celibate. It does mean that getting a date requires the right person: someone who doesn't care so much about being flirted with.

Whether you should "go gay" should depend on who you are attracted to, not your chances of "success". If you like that blonde on the bus, talk to her. It doesn't have to involve flirting. Just talk to her. She may be a fascinating person with incredible legs, and she may just be turned on by your personality and intelligence and the fact that you were brave enough to start a conversation with her.

Good luck!
tm

[FalconAngel]

Dafydd, your situation reminds me of something that one of the NCO's in my unit overseas, had told me.
He said that you should just try every chance that you get. Sure you will be rejected a few times, but at least one will say yes.
He would stand outside the EMC in the evenings and every female that he saw (that was alone), when they passed him, he would say "tickle your ass with a feather?". Of course if they responded in something other than yes or no, he would "isn't this wild ass weather?".
Sure, he would get rejected by a lot of them, but there would always be at least one that would say "sure" to him and they would be off and running. He never ended an evening alone unless he wanted to.
Be bold, because no one ever got ahead by being timid.

[wolfcamp]

Women can be very coy, and they don't always project what they are thinking. I think they are especially aloof if they are attractive and get hit on a lot. Also, they are very careful in public places, like on a bus, not to make eye contact with strangers (men) that may pose a potential threat to their safety. The bus is probably a bad place to meet a woman because they are in a defensive mind-set. You shouldn't take it personal.

On the other hand, women like assertiveness. Often a glance and a smile aren't enough. Women get stared at by every guy from little boys to old perverts. If you are just looking, then there is nothing that sets you off from that group. Also there are a dozen other guys who will take it an order of magnitude further and very aggressively pursue a woman like you saw on the bus. If you are just a looker, you'll get left in the dust. Women are used to being hit on, sometimes aggressively and tactlessly. They think that if you want them, you will make a move. The trick is to say hello without being threatening.

I think a smile and "hello" would go a long way. If she returns the greeting, then carry the conversation further. If she ignores you, then nothing lost, nothing gained. But you have to do something. You can't just sit there and stare. If you are attracted to women, then don't give up on them. They are a lot of work and sometimes they are frustrating, but often it's worth it.

[ambi53mm]

as a bi guy, who has spent more time with men, i feel that i am totally out of sorts with what women want. recently i saw gorgeous blonde on the bus who had the most amazing legs but i was too stricken to say anything. it was of major importance to me that she didn't return my gaze, and left me wondering if being out of the straight game for so long has left me totally deskilled to flirt.
At a work function i succeeded ion attracting the attention of the post room boy who offered me a BJ outside the fire escape (I declined) and yet of the 3 fit women that spent the evening around my desk i managed nothing. i'd like to just stick with men, but there's always that cute blonde on the bus. Thoughts? Should i just go gay?

d

Dear d,

Yes by all means go Gay....and don't give that gorgeous blond on the bus a second thought...I've got you covered ....amazing legs huh? ....yep don't give it another thought!

Just teasing of course :bigrin: already have my hands full with my own hot little redhead who would probably kick my ass and take her for herself.:rolleyes:
Seriously tho I'd have to go with Transcends Mental's viewpoint...Good advice :)

Ambi:)

[darkeyes]

The point of bi is that ya neva know jus who ya gonna b attracted 2.. gal guy or woteva.. its inside of ya..who ya r... "go gay" by all means..or str8 or ne thin ya like.. but howeva ya go..if ya attracted 2 the lil blonde lass on the bus as well as the hunk who drivin it.. yas bi.. an that cant b changed.. ya life style mite b gay..but ya whole bein is sumthin quite different...

[Skater Boy]

Dafydd, your situation reminds me of something that one of the NCO's in my unit overseas, had told me.
He said that you should just try every chance that you get. Sure you will be rejected a few times, but at least one will say yes.
He would stand outside the EMC in the evenings and every female that he saw (that was alone), when they passed him, he would say "tickle your ass with a feather?". Of course if they responded in something other than yes or no, he would "isn't this wild ass weather?".
Sure, he would get rejected by a lot of them, but there would always be at least one that would say "sure" to him and they would be off and running. He never ended an evening alone unless he wanted to.
Be bold, because no one ever got ahead by being timid.

Dafydd, FalconAngel hasn't worded it quite the same way as I would have. But perhaps his advice to be "an opportunist" is wise. And fortune does indeed favour the brave. Little worth having comes easy, etc, etc, etc.

By all means "go gay" if that sort of situation presents itself readily to your satisfaction. But if you still find that you're drawn to someone of the opposite sex, then I wouldn't try and deny or supress that side of yourself.

Free advice, and worth every penny! ;)