Tips needed for a single male finding a couple to play with

[acuriousguy2005]

Hi there.
I am a single male who is extremely interested in participating in a threesome with a couple. I've considered myself bi-curious for over 3 years now, and have not been able to complete this fantasy.

I had thought about trying to find swinger clubs and I've contacted people here, but without luck.

I live in the south but I travel to the Metro DC area and the Phoenix/Tucson area frequently, so it would seem that the population in those areas would be conducive to me finding something.

So, can anyone give me some tips for where/how to go about looking for this ever-so-elusive experience?

Thanks!

[scmale69]

I can not give any advice because I am looking for the same thing. But if you get some advice please send it my way. I am not far from you but far enough.

[ambi53mm]

Hi there.
I am a single male who is extremely interested in participating in a threesome with a couple. I've considered myself bi-curious for over 3 years now, and have not been able to complete this fantasy.

I had thought about trying to find swinger clubs and I've contacted people here, but without luck.

I live in the south but I travel to the Metro DC area and the Phoenix/Tucson area frequently, so it would seem that the population in those areas would be conducive to me finding something.

So, can anyone give me some tips for where/how to go about looking for this ever-so-elusive experience?

Thanks!

A site or group orientated towards the swinger lifestyle will probably increase your odds in finding a couple looking for a single male. Listing yourself as a single bi-male on such a site should increase your chances even more. Most of these sites offer the opportunity to post a profile as well as pics and both would be helpful to the couple as well. You contacting them and offering your services may not always produce the desired results.
Many couples looking for a bi-male will not always be forth coming about the male of the couple’s sexual orientation. There seems to be many couples who want to explore this territory but oft times for the male to list himself as bi becomes more of a liability hurting the couples chances in participating within the mainstream activities of the swing- lifestyle. I’ve had far more offers from couples that profile themselves as straight, than I have from bi-couples. They will make contact with you it just takes patience.

Not all bi-couples are looking for a bi-male to fulfill threesome fantasies, in fact most often they seem to be looking more for the elusive single bi-female. The majority of threesomes I’ve experienced have been MFF. My wife is bisexual but is more interested in involving or indulging her own sexual desires with another woman that another male. Unfortunately, bi-males seem to be in the most distained position on the swing totem-pole at least on the surface within the swinger lifestyle. Clubs don’t seem to offer much in this regard either because it exposes for all to see the sexual orientation of the male. Guilty by association with a bi-male can seriously impede a couple’s chances for indulging with other couples. and if it’s a club where sex takes place on site, I wish you luck.

Another tactic I’ve seen employed frequently enough to mention is where a single bi-male with link up with a single bi-female for the intended purpose of swinging with another bi-couple. This seems to work for those interested in swinging period regardless of their orientation.

These are based on my experiences and observations. Hopefully others can elaborate on what they’ve experienced in terms of tips towards fulfilling your fantasy.

Ambi:)

[acuriousguy2005]

Ambi,
Thanks for your input. I've looked around for some swinger sites, but haven't really found any that are a focused as this one. All the ones I've found are more just a front from advertisements and spam. If you know of any and wouldn't mind pointing me in the right direction, that would be great.

Oh, and I love your sig. VH is a favorite of mine.

[ambi53mm]

Ambi,
Thanks for your input. I've looked around for some swinger sites, but haven't really found any that are a focused as this one. All the ones I've found are more just a front from advertisements and spam. If you know of any and wouldn't mind pointing me in the right direction, that would be great.

Oh, and I love your sig. VH is a favorite of mine.


We've tried several and with little result that led to anything realtime. Swappernet.com we've had the most success with and have turned more than a few people orginally from there to Bisexual.com. I'm not sure how strong they are in South Carolina but, they are very strong in Florida. I'll do some research. Most of those we've met live within an hours drive of our location which I believe, is more conducive to establishing realtime contacts vs those long distance contacts that never seem to pan out with any substance equaling more than a one niter (My:2cents:) but, I'm sure there are exceptions to this as well.

Ambi:)

[acuriousguy2005]

Thanks! Appreciate the help.

[FalconAngel]

A site or group orientated towards the swinger lifestyle will probably increase your odds in finding a couple looking for a single male. Listing yourself as a single bi-male on such a site should increase your chances even more. Ambi:)

Unfortunately, that is more an exception than a rule. We tried looking for a Bi guy through swingers sites and swing clubs, but the swingers out there, for the largest part are very homophobic when it comes to male bisexuality.

Sites like this one and OKCupid and some of the other BI-specific sites are your best chance. We are on a lot of sites, but the ones that we have had the most promising contacts through have been BI-specific. Sites like Swingtowns have a few BI men on it, but not that many. And few couples that seek BI men. Smutvibes may work for you, but we have been seeking BI men on that site for over a year and all we seem to get are straight guys and guys that are way out of our area that just want to cam or cyber or spam us. Very few that we hear from are BI.

here are the best ways to get a couple interested in you:
1) Post pics on your profile.

2) Be honest about your sexuality and interests. We find fakers out there that are just interested in one of us easily and before they ever make it to the bedroom with us.

3) Many couples, but not all, want a relationship with the person that they sleep with. Not just a one-time or once in a while thing. They want the person that they are having sex with to be considered a friend. Kind of a "friends with benefits" thing.

4) When you do meet for the first time show equal interest in both people. For the most part, a couple isn't going to let you into their bed with either of them if you don't demonstrate the fact that you have respect for both of them.

5) Unless they start it up, then don't immediately jump into the sexual interest questions. Work up to that point. Get to know them. When in doubt, refer to points 3 and 4.

6) Don't waste time with people who you will never have a chance to get with, unless you are just maintaining a friendship with them (i.e. folks out of the areas that you are in).

Just follow those simple guidelines and finding a couple that you will be able to play with will be a lot easier.

[acuriousguy2005]

Thanks FalconAngel. I'm hoping that one day i'll find a couple who's interested. Seems like guys like me are mostly avoided. I don't know...

[FalconAngel]

Well, as far as being mostly avoided, a lot of that is from the stigma attached to bi-curious guys.
Many couples expect that when a guy says bi-curious, it means that he is wanting to fulfill the sexual desires that he has, yet has never acted on before. Unfortunately, many of those "bi-curious" guys just use that as an excuse to get into bed with one or the other of the couple.
This has adversely affected couples reactions to single guys. Some of us give a guy the chance to get to know us first. That normally weeds out the fakers.
But there are also the truly bi-curious and Bisexual guys that just want to jump in the sack and play; nothing more. They won't wait to develop a friendship with the people they are sleeping with because they just want the sex. Those ones don't last with a couple either.
It's the patient Bisexual and bi-curious guys that will make it with a couple. Of course, many couples have certain standards that some guys just can't meet no matter how sincere they are. In our case, it's guy with loads of body hair. Not our cup of tea, but some folks love it.
There's also the guy who's in a relationship and plays behind his s/o's back. Many couples consider that cheating. Many couples do not mind guys who are in relationships as long as the guy who they are playing with has told his s/o that he is out doing that and their s/o is okay with it.

There are a lot of variables with this and you should put yourself in the couples position when you are looking for them.
Sometimes it is just a matter of wrong chemistry, too, so don't give up, no matter how many times it seems that things don't work out. Eventually, they will.

[FalconAngel]

Falcon I have been on
--------- ok-cupid -com ---

for some time. No replies, ever. I think it's fake and a waste of your online time. Anybody who knows differently please PM me. All sizzle no steak to eat (pussy or other).

We have quite some experience in the Lifestyle since 1970 so we have a mature point of view. Run out of NYC, that site appears to be gathering YOUR data and infecting your cptr with Adware and Spyware. Be-ware bisexual.com lurkers.


Well, we have had experience on about a dozen different swingers sites, like swingtowns, smutvibes and others that claim to be "openminded", yet have netted nothing but responses from straight guys that can't read profiles, guys in bumfuck Africa that can't read profiles and trolls.

Our best and only local responses have come to us through this site and through Okcupid. The rest have been like fishing in the Desert.

What a lot of us may or may not want to admit is that just because we are into this or that lifestyle, does not guarantee that we will stay sexy as we get older.
Some of us will, for a while, but the reality is that most of us will not.
That, too, will limit the number and kinds of responses that people get no matter what site one happens to be on.

That's the reality, and we all have to live with it.

[welickit]

The first thing we look at is a guy's profile. If like yours it is empty we pass it bi. If it says bi curious, we pass it bi. If you are cheating on a spouse or S/O we pass it bi. If you aren't local we pass you bi.
Our best advise is wherever you post you better have a full profile and be honest. You are way out numbered so the odds of you meeting a couple are slim to none. Sorry but it is a fact of life.

[PlacentaJuan]

The first thing we look at is a guy's profile. If like yours it is empty we pass it bi. If it says bi curious, we pass it bi. If you are cheating on a spouse or S/O we pass it bi. If you aren't local we pass you bi.
Our best advise is wherever you post you better have a full profile and be honest. You are way out numbered so the odds of you meeting a couple are slim to none. Sorry but it is a fact of life.

Those are good rules to have. I also pass by men who are cheating.

[RockGardener]

I have had good results from OkCupid. I met the man who brought me here and the love of my life on OkCupid.

But I agree wholeheartedly with the statement that you need a profile. Doesn't have to be a novel, just some basic facts, a picture of more than just your "bits", a few of your likes and dislikes.

[lookn0ver]

pass me by. that's how it must be. everyone has to be comfortable or else the dangerZone will have its way with everyone involved.
i know what i need and so should everyone else. if i play by the rules or not.
everyone deserves their pleasure i hear and you will NOT get something for nothing, which is how heaven rolls. there's something out there for every one who has the guts to go for it. i think we all have come along way no matter what we used to be before...and one day i think we'll have it just the way it was supposed to be in the end.
the journey is who we are.
we start out one WAY and end up where we hoped to begin.
if i get turned down for any thing i have to think if it was meant to be and later on i see i wasn't really turned down ....i...just wasn't ready.:cool:

[swag85]

Some advice i can give you, is find some area specific groups. get involved and participate. you will meet alot of cool people, along the way. and you will find what your looking for. but like a few people have said here, couples are generaly looking for someone whom they connect with and usually become really good friends along the way. try checking the internet for groups in your area, not just web sites specific to swinging. that works too, but i have had alot of fun at swinging events in my city, like at bars, resturaunts, and such. that i only found out about because i got involved with swinging groups, that have "meeting" type programs. mainly they are just groups that go out and do things . and everyone is interested in meeting people of the same mind set. dont be too focused on just searching out that elusive 3 some as you said. because i have never had one the first night i met a cool couple. it takes time, but in the end i have met alot of life long friends. and enjoy the time spent with them

try searching things like "swinging meetings (or outings, groups, support) "your area". and your well on your way! hope i could help!
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