Ending membership when we want to should also be our choice

[DannyJ]

Hello, all,
This is a very positive site, one which is supportive and allows all members to feel free to be open about being themselves; I highly commend Drew on his having created such a site, and hope that it continues for a long time.
I am glad that I became a member and have no regrets. However, I wish to end my membership. Since I tried to do that on the site itself and found it impossible to do so (there is a message from Drew saying that we should really be sure about cancelling our memberships, since he is busy and cannot get to everything right away--or words to that effect), I contacted Drew via e-mail over a month ago and made my feelings known in a polite but clear manner.
Since that time, not only have I not heard from Drew, I see that I am still a member. Just as we should not feel compelled to be straight, gay, bi, or anything other than what our natural and personal tendencies guide us to be, should we not also have the choice to decide for ourselves whether or not we wish to end our membership here, and when?
As I said, I'm glad to have been a member here, but I have decided that my time is done; I think Drew should respect my wishes.
This posting is not intended as a bad reflection on anyone...it is merely to share the information that, should anyone want out at any time, he/she should be prepared for that not to happen easily, quickly or even at all.

[12voltman59]

I am sorry to hear you have had that problem--and I also think -while it would be a great deal of work-the member list on this site is filled with those who came here a time or two or came for a fair amount of time but have not been back in a year or more--I think they should purge the files of those who obviously stopped coming--it would have to free up some space--it is not unusual for sites to automatically drop those who go inactive for a lengthy period of time-- I would think being inactiver for a year would be a good time period for such a drop off.

There are those who have not been on here in several years---they have pics, profiles and such--that has to take up valuable server space.

[vittoria]

Tis very true... I was gone for about three months and was suprised that I still had a 'membership'. All one would have to do is just not come back... its not like one would have to hurry up and cancel membership to beat possible "additional charges and fees". ( Like Health Spas and junk :P) Sorry to see anyone go, however just my :2cents:

[someotherguy]

I have been trying to get my account deleted for over a year. I think "Drew" is a figment of his own imagination.

Sometimes unethical site owners disallow deletion of accounts because they want an inflated membership count. I won't suggest that is happening here. But if you were to claim it was, I would not be overcome with a desire to argue the point.

If we can't delete our accounts at will, the terrorists win!
:eek:

[the mage]

So, blank out your Bio and don't log in any more.....
What foolishness..

[DiamondDog]

I also agree that you should be allowed to do this.

I've posted at message boards where I wanted my account deleted and just blanking out my profile wouldn't have worked since I wanted all of my posts deleted.

[darkeyes]

Hav an may gain who knos withdrawn from active participation on the site... but it always draws me bak.. but do agree that if its wot peeps wan they shud b allowed 2 resign from it.. we shud b able 2 join an resign from ne orgaisation..its not the fukkin secret service for Gods sake wer they dus ya in ratha than lose ya ( dunno if they do or not but wudn b surprised..)

Jus 1 lil point tho.. an thats always held me bak.. othe than the fact hav neva felt the urge 2 resign.. if yas a bisexual, or even str8 or gay or trans or lessie or a fukkin martian, an support the rites of bisexuals 2 b who an wot they r..wtf wud ya wanna resign??? Seems 2 me a betrayal of yaself if ya r bi an ya m8s if ya aint. Even if as me reckons is the case me has tipped ova 2 absolute ragin dykehood (JD notwithstandin) me stands wiv me m8s..an in ere has far 2 many peeps me luffs an likes 2 let em down by not standin by ther side!

If ya believe in an stand for bisexual rites then wy wud ya wan ya name taken off a list of members an supporters... resignin wud b a tacit nod that ya no longa accepted or believed in it.. jeez its not as if it costsya a membership fee!

[allbimyself]

I also agree that you should be allowed to do this.

I've posted at message boards where I wanted my account deleted and just blanking out my profile wouldn't have worked since I wanted all of my posts deleted.
A site that would delete forum posts when a member leaves is extremely rare. Can you imagine how chaotic a thread would be if posts were pulled out? When you make a post on a website, much like sending a letter to a newspaper editor, your post becomes the property of the website.

[DiamondDog]

A site that would delete forum posts when a member leaves is extremely rare. Can you imagine how chaotic a thread would be if posts were pulled out? When you make a post on a website, much like sending a letter to a newspaper editor, your post becomes the property of the website.

It's not that rare I've seen it happen on various sites and it was granted by the admins of the site that I originally wrote about.

Sometimes people will want their profiles deleted so nobody can search through their posts.

In one case it was because a friend of mine did not want his ex girlfriend logging in, finding his name and searching through all of his posts.

People have all sorts of reasons for wanting this or for wanting to be taken off a site.

[DeleteAccount1234]

True....
Plus some boards like this one, you can search a persons nickname on Google and posts you made on that board will show up.

Thats mostly why I changed my name, I didn't want people googling my usual name lol Ya, my old posts are still around but now Im being safe/careful.

Oh well :)

But I do agree, members who have not logged on THIS site for a year or more should be removed. Its a pain to look up people, see someone you want to know only to learn by the "last login" date they hadn't logged for so long. They probably don't remember this place anymore.

Out of date profiles and those that have not been logged on for over a year tend to discourage people.
Yes theres tons of active users but still, all those inactive ones are still discouraging. Can push you away from using the search feature and just stick to the board/chat since at least on that theres active users.

[bi-robin-wash]

Sometimes people will want their profiles deleted so nobody can search through their posts.

Ever hear of Google? Once you post something on the 'net it's there forever. Best plan: don't want your employer/SO/mother reading it? Don't post it on the 'net.

Duh.

[DeleteAccount1234]

Ever hear of Google? Once you post something on the 'net it's there forever. Best plan: don't want your employer/SO/mother reading it? Don't post it on the 'net.

Duh.

Yep.
lol I got a email awhile ago "So, I was bored and googled your usual nickname... what IS that site your posting on?!?"
Im like "uh.... " lol cause none of my friends (except those I met on here) know I post on this site or any kind of sexually site. lol

So now I have a nickname Im more comfortable using... but if I could, I'll love to delete all my old nickname posts so people can't google it anymore lol

[DiamondDog]

Ever hear of Google? Once you post something on the 'net it's there forever. Best plan: don't want your employer/SO/mother reading it? Don't post it on the 'net.

Duh.

I'd be more concerned with identity theft of personal information, banking/debit, credit cards, etc. than with posts that I make online or my profile on gay.com

[12voltman59]

For those of you technically knowledgeable folks on here---I am curious if it is easy for someone snooping on you on the net to find out the places you go without knowing your various nicknames you use and without direct access to your computer--obviously the FBI or police, when doing a full on investigation of someone is capable of tracking a person's web footprints-but is it all that easy for a person to do it generally??

It seems to me they would have to know what nicknames you use at a place like this to see your postings on here--someone like a possible employer would not have any idea the nicknames I use on this site and others.

[DiamondDog]

For those of you technically knowledgeable folks on here---I am curious if it is easy for someone snooping on you on the net to find out the places you go without knowing your various nicknames you use and without direct access to your computer--obviously the FBI or police, when doing a full on investigation of someone is capable of tracking a person's web footprints-but is it all that easy for a person to do it generally??

It seems to me they would have to know what nicknames you use at a place like this to see your postings on here--someone like a possible employer would not have any idea the nicknames I use on this site and others.

People can find information on you based on the email addresses you use, the screennames you use on AIM/YahooIM, your location, interests/hobbies, which highschool/university you went to, which jobs you have held and the companies you've worked for, if you've ever published a writing in an academic journal/newspaper/magazine/website or book format, your name that you use on websites that you post on, if you've written reviews of products on websites, the username you use on eBay, if you've ever posted a personal resume on a site, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

If they know your ISP and I.P. address, have access to your computer and your browser with all the history/cookies/stored info it's REALLY easy to find out all sorts of information about someone.

People can also find public information about someone based on where they live and if you know someone's name and location it's VERY easy to do this based on public records and whatnot and if you really want to find someone's phone number or address you can pay services and find them.

Sites like Facebook, OK Cupid, and MySpace while they're popular can tell all sorts of information on someone and yes you can make your profiles on there private but if someone really wants to get information on you on those sites they will since anyone can register and there are ways to get around things.

You can find all of this info just by doing a simple search for yourself on any search engine and try doing a search based on your email address or AIM/YahooIM/MSN screennames or your name on this/other sites you post at.

Don't be surprised or shocked at what you find.

It's the price we pay for living in the information age and interacting on the internet.

[DannyJ]

So, blank out your Bio and don't log in any more.....
What foolishness..

What foolishness, indeed...that someone would respond in such an unreflective and simplistic manner. Since you seem to have missed the point, I'll restate it in a less complicated fashion so that even you can get it: the bottom line is the freedom of choice to stay or to leave, according to one's own wishes. For you, who lives in a multicultural society, this should not be any kind of stretch of the imagination, since there are parallels involved...if you can't see those parallels on your own, any further explanation from me or anyone else would clearly be a waste of energy.

[hard and willing]

The site is a waste of time wish I could figure how to cancel my membership !!!!

[Doggiestyle]

Hey there folks

Getting your membership deleted and your ass booted out is easy. There have been some that has done it!!! All you got to do is start being "rough and abusive" to others, and then everything but your username will be deleted. :eek:

Yep, there'll be footprints all over your britches. :paw: :paw:

Of course that wont eliminate what is stored at places like google. But with all the internet activity going on nowdays. It would seem to me that at some point there would have to be some sort of max capacity of history that could be stored. Although, I have been told that when you send something out on the internet, it'll be in cyber-space forever....... That's hard to imagine




Lets say that you go to a restaurant and decide that you don't like it, or maybe even hate the food / place. Question here??? Do you keep going back again and again saying that you hate this place, and that it should be closed up and burned to the ground? Or do you just never go back?

Which would be the more logical thing to do? I mean that if you cannot figgure this one out, then, you got some serious thinking and evaluating you need to do!

Your friend, :doggie:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Just like Doggie stated, If you dont like it here, why are you returning to put your dislikes in? If you are That dis-satisfied with the site then just go away and dont come back. That should simplify that for you. Blank out the profile that you had and be done with it.
Cat

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Oh Crap. I didnt see that this thread was 4 years old, of Cripes sakes.....
Sigh.

[Canticle]

Just like Doggie stated, If you dont like it here, why are you returning to put your dislikes in? If you are That dis-satisfied with the site then just go away and dont come back. That should simplify that for you. Blank out the profile that you had and be done with it.
Cat

However old the thread, time passing does diminish the concerns raised by the original OP and a subject, which has been mentioned many times, by others. The original OP was not so much, slagging off the site. His concern was, why was there no means available, where a member could delete their membership completely, as is found on many sites.....whatever the subject matter of the site.

Delete every detail you like......but the name will still be in the list of members, some of whom, have not visited in nearly 5 years.