Bi or really Gay/Lez?

[jseattle]

How many of you have always thought of yourselves as bi but are not sure anymore? I have always thought I was bi, but lately I am not sure. After being married for 20+ years can I really be gay? Do any of you have these same feelings?

[NakedInSeattle]

I think your question is another example of the variability of all of us (humans that is). That's why the scale with all hetero (which I feel no one is, just homo phobic) on one end and all gay/lez on the other. And I'm personally thankful for the many differences and variations that we see and experience. As the French say, vive le difference.

[leelee62]

As i'm getting older i'm finding i want to be with women more than men !! which is not good been married 16 years, but finding sex with husband more of a turn off, don't think it's him, just don't what sex with men !!!!!

[Cesca]

I have just truned 21. I have known I am not hetero sexual since I was about 13 or 14 when I first went gah gah over a teacher at school. In the years since I have had relationships with girls, relationships with guys and had both fun and heartache.

My feelings of what I am have swung wildy. One day I am desperate for a relationship or only just a sexual romp with one of my own sex, the next I have had the need for one with a guy. That I like and have enjoyed both has been a wonderful experience but my real calling is for a lasting relationship with one of my own sex. I enjoy the company of women more and the sex is that bit more enjoyable. Some days the thought of sex with a man leaves me cold. These periods have become increasingly lengthy and it does make me wonder whether I am a lesbian or not. I have been in love a couple of times and both were times with women and I just dream of the day I can live my life out with one. It has never entered my head that I would ever do so with a man.

So what am I? Somone just struggling with her sexuality or one who is only beginning to define it. I dont have the answer and may never have it. That I am happiest both emotionally and sexually with my own sex is a plain fact, but what does a continued recurring need for male company and more to the point sexual experience make me?

[cliffml]

For the longest time I thought I was bi. Until a few years ago I only had sex with women, but still had fantasies about men. After working up enough nerve to try it with a man, I realized how much more satisfying it was for me. For the last couple years I've been almost entirely with men and have no real desire to be with a woman again. I feel in this stage of my life that I am a gay man, and I'm ok with it.

[jem_is_bi]

How many of you have always thought of yourselves as bi but are not sure anymore? I have always thought I was bi, but lately I am not sure. After being married for 20+ years can I really be gay? Do any of you have these same feelings?

I feel the same way as you. Fortunately, I was never married, although it almost happened once.
I suspect that for some of us our core sexual orientation never changes and eventually emerges no matter how much we try to suppress it.
Sexually, I have always been attracted to men. However, when I was a young man the drive to have children enhanced the appeal of women significantly. Now that I am older, I no longer want children and have been in an exclusive homosexual relationship for a year. Therefore, I am definitely much more homosexual than bisexual. Further, I really wish I could be completely homosexual. Unfortunately, even though the thought of being heterosexual is extremely repulsive, my desire for women is occasionally robust and refuses to completely go away.

JEM

[ChsnyNLelandsBsh]

I have felt something since I was in JR high but never knew what it was....I was ignorant and wasnt taught I could be different...I was taught I was straight and have to be straight in order to be accepted...

well its been a few years about a year and a half ago almost two years I have been with a male...that treated me like crap...I hated that relationship but I was attracted to a male...I know what a guys thing looks like...well I wanted to have sex to find out what it actually felt like...well when I had him take off his clothes...I immediately wanted him to put them back on and my horniness went out the window....I was totally grossed out by a mans thing....and I have been that way for over a year and a half...I have always been attracted to a female every part of a female...but only the upper half of the male...but I like both but not equally....and I have had fantasies for years about females...I have had a relationship with a female....I liked it but I am a people pleaser...my parents never accepted which they basically made the decision for me....which I hated...now I have been wanting a female for a long time....

I dont know what that makes me....Lesbian but afraid to come out completely or bisexual...in liking both....

[dafydd]

I always thought of myself as bi, then in 20s I thought I was gay, now, near 30's I think I'm bi again, but have a feeling that at 35 I'll go gay for good.
Who can keep up?
All I know is that I'm not straight.

d

[Skater Boy]

I always thought of myself as bi, then in 20s I thought I was gay, now, near 30's I think I'm bi again, but have a feeling that at 35 I'll go gay for good.
Who can keep up?
All I know is that I'm not straight.

Ditto. Y'know, I sometimes wonder if there's any truth to the old myth that bisexuals are just "confused" or in some kind of "transitional state". They're not terms that I like to use to describe myself, but I'm the first to admit that my sexuality CAN be somewhat unpredictable at times.

[darkeyes]

How many of you have always thought of yourselves as bi but are not sure anymore? I have always thought I was bi, but lately I am not sure. After being married for 20+ years can I really be gay? Do any of you have these same feelings?

wen me joined this site an before wen it wos a different chat network..me wos very def bi... ova last 2 or 3 years ther lil doubt me has changed an moved closer n closer 2 bein outrite lessie... Peeps who know me know me has been callin meself bi still cosa 1 man..an unavailable gorge 1 man... well still fancy im, an prob still wud let im hav is wicked way, but 1 man out 3 billion aint much is it? Fact is e is rite well down the list of peeps me fancies.. an movin farther down every day..

So spose reality is me is a dyke an so hav started admittin 2 wot is pretty obvious 2 all... don mean me gonna shoot off an leave yas..cos ya r a brill buncha arseholes an hopes me has years takin the piss an tellin yas how things r... an shud b .. me knows... hard nosed opinionated tart... but str8 bi or gay..jus not gonna change that..:tong:

[diB4u]

WEll Cesca....


Well sweetie you are normal and human, don’t fret so much. No one has the answers to life’s mysteries, as long as your happy in yourself then that is the main thing is it not? Regardless of which gender you feel more comfortable its normal to have sexual feelings and even thoughts about men… I think that your just beginning to define it, so take your time and don’t worry so much.

[ChsnyNLelandsBsh]

Ditto. Y'know, I sometimes wonder if there's any truth to the old myth that bisexuals are just "confused" or in some kind of "transitional state". They're not terms that I like to use to describe myself, but I'm the first to admit that my sexuality CAN be somewhat unpredictable at times.

good lord I am with you!! my sexuality is VERY unpredictable...one minute I want a guy next I want a woman....its nutso