Why do people fear bisexuality?

[leizy]

I'm thinking of writing something on this, and am looking for the ideas and experiences of others. Especially those of this forum who live outside the USA. My questions are really around why people as individuals, families, groups, and societies fear bisexuality and other alternative sexualities at such a gut level. I'm looking for both ideas from a theoretical level, and actual experiences that people have had with regards to their sexuality.

cheers.
d

[binbi42]

Hi D,

An interesting question and not an easy one to answer by any means. You would think that there must be volumes of articles on the subject of fear in regard to bisexuality / alternative lifestyles. My first initial response to the question was belief systems because they are so ingrained in our psyche. Our culture is so oriented to the Judaic/Christian way of defining ourselves.I’ve read of other cultures that don’t seem to be as hung up on sexual preference as we are. I think at a gut level, that it might go even deeper.

[csrakate]

Don't forget that people tend to fear things that they know nothing about. I know that for me personally, learning more about bisexuality has helped me to get past some initial fears that I harbored regarding my husband. Education helps, but getting people to be open to said education is a hurdle that is hard to cross. Wish that I could offer more to you, but just thought that I would share what caused my fear regarding the subject. But unlike many people who have fears, I love my bi husband and I was seeking a way to overcome those fears. I was open to change my attitude and alter those preconceived issues that were shaped by societal norms.

Kate :)

[holydragoon]

I agree with Kate. Education, not only within the topic of bisexuality but also generally, increases people's open-mindness. ALso the thing about religion, i think it goes back more than that. If im not mistaken the mesopotamians (spelling) in ancient times had something against same sex relationships and that was in order transfered to other cultures. But its also like you said, some cultures were not bothered by the idea at all.
Can we get to read everything when you are done with it?

Love you all
Dragoon

[leizy]

I'm considering lots of ideas from evolutionary psychology, and general attitudes towards sexuality. Yes, I agree, ignorance feeds fear, but so does competition, bias, "otherness," etc.

Why DO people react with such fear and anger (masked fear, or loss) to sexual issues, especially. The moral issue is a strong one, but murder and lying are as morally wrong in most traditions, but we don't react to them in the way we do sexuality...

d

[arana]

Most people tend to follow hearsay rather than learn for themselves. If someone in authority or power says its so, it must be true. They follow the masses instead of their own minds. One of the main reasons movies get picketed for content by religious groups without even being seen is because they were told it was bad, not because they know it is. In psychological research they found even people who tend to be mild mannered and know right from wrong will step over the line and do something violent if a higher authority (i.e. police, someone in the military of higher rank, etc.) encourages it.

[easylikesun101]

Bibin42 is right

Guys and girls its beat into us that bisexual anything is wrong.

Sadly I spend many years beating myself up about the few times I as a child played with the kid next door.

As far as any memory in my mind I admired and loved freedom in many ways, then I began to demand and became addicted to it and still am. Freedom to me is one of the most beautiful things I can truley say out of all the bad things in this wicked world. A persons freedom should over come anything neg about his or her life and the basis for all joy one can get out of this world.

HOWEVER it wasnt untill only 4 years ago I was able to freemyself sexually , sadly it is only at this time an approval that I can say privately that i can admit to myself that I am or it ok that I be bisexual. I am very proud of that.

Having sex with another man turned into something maybe right or wrong to something that I have a burning desire to experience in mylife for the FIRST TIME. It has gone past thoughts of massage and oral sex to first time experience with a need for a great friend. From the friendship I have decided that not only will the first time I am intimate with another man be a great vicory of personal freedom to me, it will forever be something extreamly special and I will always be greatfull for knowing what it is like.

Although I am not able to talk about this in any other way than a secret, I find pleasure and hope in knowing that when I do finally find that friendship with another man that allows intamacy. It will an intamcy, a celebration of friendship, with nothing less than one of the most passionate, true, caring,greatful,comfortable,understanding,magical, honorable,prideful,ways that words cannot describe, experience and expression of joyful liberation.......a time of realazation, a celebration of the abilty to accept and give sexually a extasy that will not be judged, graded, without ANY RULE.

Maybe someone might think thats love, love is a powerfull emotion. I dont want to deal with that now. I want this first time to happen in the name of freedom. Just as it has become something I want to know...all born in the name of freedom..... as one of the most beautiful things I have know in my life.

After this happens to me its not the end of all my hangups about being intimate with another man, I love women and im sure i may have some difficult feelings to learn about but i think it wil be worth it:) :flag2:

[m.in.heels&hose]

Hello Leizy
i too agree with kate, my feeling is that if a person (or persons) dont understand something, then its only natural that they are going to fear it and eventually come to hate it (again this is my feeling) and they start to think if some one is not like them, then that indiviual or group (which ever the case may be) is not right :2cents:


sorry i could not give you anymore help or information,
but i did give you my honest opinion!

good luck in your research :)
m.in.heels&hose

[binbi42]

Why DO people react with such fear and anger (masked fear, or loss) to sexual issues, especially. The moral issue is a strong one, but murder and lying are as morally wrong in most traditions, but we don't react to them in the way we do sexuality...

d[/QUOTE]

Going back to the ideal of belief systems, what stands out are the contractions and loopholes we find in the Judaic/Christian teachings. For example in regard to murder/taking of another life, on the one hand, you turn the other cheek and are told “Thou shall not kill” and on the other hand you see example after example where killing is justified, sometimes in very brutal ways. The story of David and Goliath is just one of the many. Many hold these stories/examples to be both truth and the core basis for a set of beliefs that this country/society/culture are based on.
We see the negative attitude towards women from the tempting of Adam to the teachings of Paul where sex is twisted and distorted depending on the characters involved. One line that I have always seen quoted among those who justify their contempt for anything other than straight sex relationships is “Man shall not lie with man” I’ve never seen anything that contradicts this attitude. This is the meat and potatoes of those that condemn anything advocating alternative sexual relations. Hence the violent reactions to bisexuality/homosexuality because it suggests that anything other than heterosexual is morally wrong and a sin against God.
Let me clarify I am not Christian nor to I subscribe to that belief system any longer. I do not disrespect anyone’s belief system and mean no offense to those that might. I only offer this as one of the many possibilities for the animosity and sometimes-violent behavior towards those that advocate same sex relations i.e.: Bisexuality

:2cents:

[Hades]

Well, I have a little example in Spain...
People tends to think to be heterosexual is what you must to be (as usually, I know), some people tends to think people must be heterosexual or homosexual, but they think to be bisexual is like to be vicious...

[jo69guy]

I believe it is a matter of not understanding our feelings and desires. Straight and some gay people just don't understand why we walk both sides of the fence. They don't realize it's not a choice for us, but rather who we are.

I myself believe that there are more important issues and problems facing the world than our sexual preference. :2cents: