Help Please

[tracie18]

Hello
i was just wondering if anyone could help me,
i have been seing a girl ova the past 9 months and everything has been good, were both been really happy and open about everything. This has been the best thing in my life by far.
but for about 2 months now things have been hard, i have been in and out of hospital like a yo-yo, mel has been full suportive but lately its been different, she isnt the same towards me. i dont no how to bring it up in a conversation cause i scared of losing her but i feel if i leave it too long it will and i wont have her.

she knows why i keep going in to hospital and always comes and vists me more then my family. i just need help i dont want mine and mels relationship to end.

[Doggie_Wood]

Tracie - sorry to here about the rocky road you are on with your love.
Not wanting to lose someone you are emphatically in love with is such a gut wrenching feeling, I know, been there and got the T-Shirt.
But all I can share is my experience, strength and hope that all will turn out well for you and Mel.
Have you talked with her and explained your feelings to her? If she truely loves you as it appears you do her, be honest with her and get your feelings out to her.
You must set your feelings free like a butterfly. Let go and fear not that which you fear to lose the most. In doing so, you build your inner strength and character.
I am not saying that it won't hurt, cause it probably will. But you have to walk through your fear and by doing so, you become stronger.
When dealing with inner fear, two choices are always available:

FEAR - Face Everything And Recover. Builds inner strength and character.

FEAR - Fuck Everything And Run. Deminishes that character and weakens.

Just my two cents :2cents: Tracie, and I do wish the very best for you and Mel.

Always,

Dogwood aka JD :doggie:

[HighEnergy]

Having worked in a hospital, having been in the hospital and having had family members in the hospital, I can tell you that being the family member/friend/support person is the most exhausting of the three. Chances are, she's not getting the support she needs to keep supporting you, and that has become exhausting to her. That may be the crux of the problem. Or she may be questioning if she wants to continue to be that support for you if this thing that keeps sending you there continues long term. The guilt of those feelings can be overwhelming, and yet staying out of guilt can make a person resentful and the relationship suck anyway. So these are probably the issues, but maybe not, I can only say what I see from what you've written.

But the bottom line is not communicating about it will only make it worse. Not talking about the elephant in the living room doesn't make the elephant go away or make it easier to walk around. Stiffling your feelings out of fear only make you both more crazy. If you are not talking about it, you both know it and feel phony, and that only makes it worse.

If you can't talk about what's going on with you, and how you feel, you don't have a relationship. You have a performance. And nothing is more exhausting and draining than a performance, and a relationship should be fulfilling and energizing to you, not draining.

Been there, done that. Whatever you do, don't guilt her into staying.

What? Me project shit from my own bad relationship? Never. :eek:

[kitten]

Tracie,

hugs and hope it all goes well with your hospital needs.

Please listen to Dogwood and High Energy. They have good advice and I have experienced similar stuff. best wishes to you and mel.

more hugs,

[ohbimale]

I have been the support person and care giver twice now in less than five years for my wife and then for my parents when my sister nearly died in March 2007. It is a physically draining, and emotionally exhausting roll. Yes it has its rewards. However you need to discuss everything with both Mel and Ova. Let them them know how much they mean to you and what your concerns are. Only through caring and sharing can the three of you continue to care for each other. :bibounce::male::male:

[Germanicus]

I would agree with the others that your gf is finding it hard. Perhaps seeing you going in and out of hospital is leading her to wonder whether she is going to lose you.

Give her a big hug, tell her you love her and ask her if she is finding it difficult.

Good luck