Top or Bottom: Why only one but not both?

[12voltman59]

I do get a kick out of some guys that I have chatted with over time---I do not understand why many guys seem to have the notion you have to be a "bottom" or a "top" but not both.

The way I have always operated in sexual relations with women--I tend to take charge and generally like to perform oral sex first-then move on to other things---in that case-- am being the "top" or dominant person.

Well--I basic follow the same pattern when with a guy--and since I like to perform oral sex on him first--then I am the "bottom" but I don't really look at it that way.

In sex with both male or female--not only do I like to be the dominant one, but also let my partner take control and "have her or his way with me" after I have been the "top."

I do find that many guys will say in their profiles or when they chat with me---"I am a bottom or a top only"--

I just don't get that---why restrict your experience and fun???

I like the notion of being "versatile."

What is everyone's take on this subject???

Isn't it fun to at one point be the "aggressor" in sex and at others---be the submissive one?? I think its fun that way and you really do get to experience both sides of the coin, as it were.

[shameless agitator]

I'm with you on this one. I can't understand why anybody would want to limit themselves like that. For me top or bottom just kind of depends on the mood I'm in at the time and will generally switch back and forth several times in one session.

[scubaman]

I agree, why limit yourself to only one thing, at least give top and/or bottom a try!

[coyotedude]

Hmmm.... I suppose that part of it depends on one's comfort level. Or it may be a matter of personal preference. Or simply a matter of mood.

For me, while I love being "on top" with a woman, I also love being "on bottom" with a man. I get a certain something out of being on the bottom - not just sexual, but sensual, even emotional. Maybe it's the element of not entirely being in control, or just the raw feeling of it all.

But I certainly wouldn't turn up my nose at being "on top" with a man now and again! It certainly has its own element of fun! :bounce:

[tell_no_one99]

Top Bottom & verse refer to what position you like when performing Anal sex not oral sex

[the mage]

THe top fucks the bottom gets fucked.

It is a relationship that defines a gay couple much more that Bisexual play.

For my part there is simply no interest in fucking men, I like pussy for that.
If men want to do me thats fine, it feels good.

If I don't crave it I dont go after it.

[DiamondDog]

Top Bottom & verse refer to what position you like when performing Anal sex not oral sex

Actually top/bottom/versatile can be used for describing your position of choice for oral sex too.

Look at personal ads where guys will say that they're french passive/active, or I've seen personal ads and met guys who say that they're oral tops or oral bottoms.

A lot of gay sex involves "one giving" and "one receiving". Many gay/bi men define their sexuality further by what they get the most pleasure from. Tops and bottoms. active/passive. There are gay/bi men who get off mainly on GIVING sexual gratification to another guy, and some who get off on RECEIVING.

These guys aren't necessarily just more giving, and the "tops" aren't necessarily more selfish or being greedy. That's just what they like most. If nothing turns you on like giving a blow job, and nothing turns your partner on like GETTING a blow job, you're a great match.

Lots of men are versatile and like fucking/being fucked. Some men are only into being fucked, fucking, sucking, or being sucked.

Some men aren't into using the labels of top/bottom/versatile at all for vanilla sex, don't do anal sex at all, or just use top/bottom/dom/sub/switch for labeling what they do in erotic bondage/SM.

[Bihornyguy]

I just don't get that---why restrict your experience and fun???

I like the notion of being "versatile."

What is everyone's take on this subject???



I'm top and bottom, I like taking turns!

[dickhand]

I would describe myself as versatile . I do enjoy both giving and receiving oral and anal . That said , most guys that I have been with don't care to receive anal as much as I do if at all . Mutual oral with all though . My cousin and I started messing around around 12 or 13 y/o . We started out with anal with each other . My turn , your turn type of thing . Oral came later . As we got older we settled on me receiving anal just because he really doesn't enjoy being fucked like I do . I really do enjoy it and usually cum from that alone . We still suck each other off also . I love to give anal to any partner that enjoys it , male or female .

[warmpuppy]

I was basically a top until this summer, when I was on the bottom for the first time. Now I can't wait for my next experience.

[jem_is_bi]

I really like oral sex with another man.
I really like giving.
I really like receiving.

I like standard genital sex with women.
Giving and receiving at the same time.
I don’t like giving oral sex to women.

I really, really, do not like anal sex, giving or receiving.
I am totally turned off by porn with anal sex.
I really, really, do not like anal sex!

I like being in a “take charge” type of dominant role, even when I am giving oral sex to another male.
I can pretend to be passive for the pleasure of my partner.

Just my personal guide to good sex.


JEM

[Tingly_Tickles]

Well I just see it as mainly what you prefer I myself prefer to be a bottom with
either male or female I'm not the aggressor in anything really and like some
people it's just what works for you.

Not everyone will get off on the idea of being a top and likewise not everyone
will get off on the idea of being a bottom, but the ones who get off on both
typically use the label versatile.

As for oral play some guys/girls don't even like to imagine doing this to another
person or they don't want it done to them but they will love to give it.

So Top / Bottom / Versatile that's how it works either you like it or you don't
but you really shouldn't say you don't like something unless you've tried it first.

I'm a bottom that's just how I'm setup but I love to give oral on anyone but love
to receive when penetration is involved make sense.

:color::rainbow::flag1::flag1::rainbow::color:

[diamond_tether]

When it comes to anal sex - I (the male half) classify myself as a Versatile Bottom. More often than not, I'd rather be the one receiving, as I really have to be in the mood to want to top a guy. But, I like having the option to switch it up if I'm comfortable with someone.

However, I am a total Top in regard to being in control of the sexual situation. It's a matter of displaying the A-type personality, wanting to be the more aggressive one, being willing to encourage comfort between parties, act first, etc. I'm not a bottom in that respect at all. I'm not opposed to the idea of bottoming there, and have done it a couple of times, but I've yet to really have that comfort with anyone aside from my regular partner.

[BlackRose67]

As with most things people feel the need to put labels on things, at least in my opinion. Top, bottom, bi, gay, lesbian, etc. Our take on things is that in the situation if your are comfortable, whatever happens happens.

We have both had times that we were either in the aggressive or submissive postition, and i think depending on your comfort level your position is made up for you. I think when people are less comfortable they assume the aggressive or Top position to maintain control, whereas if they are comfortable then it is less important to control the situation. When trully comfortable it is enjoyable no matter what happens. Try to get to that point and you will enjoy it without parallel.

Orgasms are the best when you don't try.

[LWynn4]

completely agree, sex is a two way thing that should ultimately make everybody happier coming out than they were coming in.

that being said, some guys and gals like being exclusively dominant or submissive, guess its just in there nature, yeah?

[LEBBW1968]

I just don't get that---why restrict your experience and fun???


I totally agree! I go both ways myself, kinda depends on the mood I'm in. Sometimes I just want my dominant to take care of me and for me to serve him or her. Other times I need to show my aggressive side. Both sides of the coin can be very hot indeed! It was nice when I had a boyfriend who was not only bisexual, but also enjoyed being the dom AND the sub. Made for some interesting bedroom experiences!:bigrin:

[JeffNaked]

As for me I like giving oral sex to a guy, I get off on being the cocksucker, being the one on my knees giving head, I prefer to give a guy a complete blow job to completion having him cum in my mouth and then I swallow. Then I like to say good bye and leave until he calls me for another blow job. I take care of me later. I find that I enjoy that whole experience of being regular head for a guy who loves getting head without reciprocation.
With a woman I like to do it all but I must admit I love going down on a woman almost as much as sucking cock. And I especially like eating freshly fucked and cummed in pussy with either another guys cum or my cum in her as I eat her to another orgasm.
I am married to a woman and I do consider myself Bi..........

[**Peg**]

In my opinion, labelling is dehumanizing period. Nobody is a 'top' nor a 'bottom'... in the final analysis we are all humans. It matters not to me what one's preference is. I like everyone and everything.

**Peg**

[Azrael]

THe top fucks the bottom gets fucked.

It is a relationship that defines a gay couple much more that Bisexual play.



Not necessarily, me and my old boyfriend took turns :bigrin:

[timepga50]

I agree with Coyotedude.While I would'nt turn down "topping a guy I liked.I just perfer being the bottom with a man.I don't really think of it as limiting myself,Of course I'm sure roles could change.But as I say I've always enjoyed being a bottom,;)

[miss_understood]

Well, if you want my :2cents:, I think playing just one role all the time would make things dull after a while. The whole point of being bisexual is versatility and being open to different things (as long as they're safe, of course), so I'm all for mixing and matching. Personally I like the idea of switching back and forth during the same encounter; it's kind of like circuit training at the gym. You want something that will work different parts of your body, and the same thing over and over won't give you the results you want.

[barney60]

Personally I like all sex with males and females both giving and receiving, what I do and to whom sometimes is down to what I and my partner at that time want to do, I may wish to give and/or receive or switch positions, it's all good in my book

[RIfitbiguy]

i like to pleasure and be pleasured, so, i am a top and a bottom!

[KevsBi]

I've always preferred to be the top when I am with a guy but I will be versatile in order to please my partner. If I can't satisfy him with my mouth I will give him my ass.

[vittoria]

I'm not a dOOd, but this is the best way I can understand it...

(at least this is how it was explained to me...)

I'm certain there are men out here (or there) that prefer being the "fuckee" rather than the "fucker"... just because one "gives head" doesnt necessitate that he ( or whatever gender one may be) is strictly a bottom. Its no different than any other 69 ( even for bi women... I do believe we reciprocate each other in kind)...

There exist bi-men that would rather be anally receptive with men and have vaginal sex with women...just a personal preference I suppose.

And for those men who can take it and give it right the fkk back, then ALL the power to you honeys. Thats a bad ass 'mofo'.

[domill]

Look at personal ads where guys will say that they're french passive/active, or I've seen personal ads and met guys who say that they're oral tops or oral bottoms.



Err...
What is 'French passive/active'?
Was it referred to as 'Freedom passive/active' before the invasion of Iraq? :rolleyes:

[vittoria]

Err...
What is 'French passive/active'?
Was it referred to as 'Freedom passive/active' before the invasion of Iraq? :rolleyes:

:bowdown::bowdown::bowdown::smilies15:smilies15:cu telaugh:cutelaugh:cutelaugh

[DiamondDog]

Err...
What is 'French passive/active'?
Was it referred to as 'Freedom passive/active' before the invasion of Iraq? :rolleyes:

French passive=oral sex bottom AKA cock sucker (as seen in personal ads).

French active=oral sex top AKA Feeder (as seen in personal ads).

Greek=anal sex.

Those terms aren't always used anymore but they do use the whole active/passive thing in europe and I have seen it in personal ads and have had male friends describe their sexual preferences this way.

[Germanicus]

Why not both?

If people want to restrict themselves to one or the other, then thats up to them, but thats not the sort of thing to put a spring in my step.

[Germanicus]

French passive=oral sex bottom AKA cock sucker (as seen in personal ads).

French active=oral sex top AKA Feeder (as seen in personal ads).

Greek=anal sex.

Those terms aren't always used anymore but they do use the whole active/passive thing in europe and I have seen it in personal ads and have had male friends describe their sexual preferences this way.

The passive/active term is used, but not as much as it used to be - whenever I see it it seems old fashioned.

For once, I'll disagree with DD and say "greek=anal sex" not. Its always meant (as I understand it) homosexuality and homoeroticism in all its manifestations.

And your homework for tonight is:

http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/politicsphilosophyandsociety/story/0,,2208622,00.html

and

http://www.androphile.org/index.html

[DiamondDog]

The passive/active term is used, but not as much as it used to be - whenever I see it it seems old fashioned.

For once, I'll disagree with DD and say "greek=anal sex" not. Its always meant (as I understand it) homosexuality and homoeroticism in all its manifestations.

And your homework for tonight is:

http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/politicsphilosophyandsociety/story/0,,2208622,00.html

and

http://www.androphile.org/index.html

Thanks for the links I enjoyed reading the articles.

We're talking about personal ads, that's how I've seen the word Greek active/passive to mean anal sex in ads here in the US.

I'm not sure how it's used in the UK.

[open2both]

Exactly! Why either/ or?
Sometimes I feel like a nut... sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I'm a fish eater sometimes I eat meat.
I'm definitely a BOTTOM when I "dress" and other times I'm your DADDY!

[self88]

I agree with Jeff Naked. Different strokes for different folks. I like being submissive...I love being on my knees sucking cock and/or getting ass-fucked. I don't want, nor do I expect reciprocation. The act of getting a guy off with my mouth or ass is satisfaction enough.

When that load of cum shoots down my throat or in my ass, I know I've down a good job of pleasing my partner and that's my reward.

[Robby236]

I almost always prefer to be a top when having sex with woman, but i'm only attracted to men if i'm a bottom.

[jeancarleo]

If I like the girl I kiss her, eat her and fuck her. If not then I don't kiss or eat her just fuck her. I don't mind her giving me a bj.
As with men, If I like the guy I kiss him, suck him and let him suck me, fuck him and let him fuck me and everything else cuz i'm versatile. If i don't like him i don't kiss him, just let him suck me and i fuck him.

[darkeyes]

In my opinion, labelling is dehumanizing period. Nobody is a 'top' nor a 'bottom'... in the final analysis we are all humans. It matters not to me what one's preference is. I like everyone and everything.

**Peg**

God Peg...dus jus luff the way ya on toppa gettin 2 the bottoma things....:bigrin:

[DiamondDog]

In my opinion, labelling is dehumanizing period. Nobody is a 'top' nor a 'bottom'... in the final analysis we are all humans. It matters not to me what one's preference is. I like everyone and everything.

**Peg**

Maybe you're that way but not everyone is and you really need to get out more and meet new people if you think that sexual role labels are dehumanizing or that nobody is a top or a bottom.

[afterdark75]

I like it both ways, I enjoy being very very vers