do u believe in signs?

[naive]

i've posted enough about how i'm not out to anybody that i know and how i find it hard because there has never been any discussion about glbt issues.

well out of the blue, without any prompting by myself, my eldest sister (1) starts talking to me about a conversation she had with my older sister (2) about how 1 believes that homosexuality is genetic whereas 2 believes it is a lifestyle choice. tbh, i've never talked to either sister about sexuality and i have never heard either of their views before today. it all started because 2 has been having marital problems with her husband and 1 joked that she wouldn't have the same issues if she were a lesbian (because men don't understand women). then 2 stated that that would never happen because she wouldn't be able to be sexually pleased by a woman. 2 believes it is unnatural and that dykes/queens are confused about themselves because they "want to" appear/act like the opposite sex rather than being born that way. she also believes that it is different for transgender folk because these people have a genetic anomaly that causes them to believe they are a different gender to their physical being. and conversely homosexuals instead choose who they are attracted to. 1 argued that homosexuals may have a similar (but less dominant) genetic anomaly that is the cause of their sexuality. but 2 is firm in her beliefs. 1 asked 2 if 2's daughter ended up being a lesbian, how would she react? 2 responded that she would "accept that it is her choice". i love both of my sisters and i don't want anyone calling 2 a "narrow-minded homophobe" or anything but advice on how to deal with 2 later on would be helpful. i was already certain on 1 being the first person i come out to because she has always been more open.

so is it just a coincidence that weeks after accepting my own bisexuality that i discover my sisters' opinions? do i take the chance and come out to 1 before the topic becomes stale and irrelevant? i kind of regret not doing it there and then but i was still reeling from the shock of the situation. i'm scared that if i don't soon, that it will be a long time coming before glbt talk ever pops again. but because only homosexuality was discussed (rather than bi), i'm also scared that 1 might simply dismiss me as being confused anyway.

[AdamKadmon43]

The only advice that I would have to offer would be to just get rid of both (1) and (2), and get yourself a dog or a cat or something and take up knitting and scuba diving.

Sincerely

Dr. Ruth

[TheThreeOfUs]

I think you should take the oppourtunity and open up to them. For one, if they dont accept you for who you are, they arent worth the effort and dont accept you for who you are now. For two, wouldnt it be nice to be able to just be yourself?

Either way, good luck *hugs*

[naive]

The only advice that I would have to offer would be to just get rid of both (1) and (2), and get yourself a dog or a cat or something and take up knitting and scuba diving.

Sincerely

Dr. Ruth

thanks for the advice adam. however, i don't quite get the significance of the pet or those particular hobbies. could u clarify?

[Germanicus]

i've posted enough about how i'm not out to anybody that i know and how i find it hard because there has never been any discussion about glbt issues.

well out of the blue, without any prompting by myself, my eldest sister (1) starts talking to me about a conversation she had with my older sister (2) about how 1 believes that homosexuality is genetic whereas 2 believes it is a lifestyle choice. tbh, i've never talked to either sister about sexuality and i have never heard either of their views before today. it all started because 2 has been having marital problems with her husband and 1 joked that she wouldn't have the same issues if she were a lesbian (because men don't understand women). then 2 stated that that would never happen because she wouldn't be able to be sexually pleased by a woman. 2 believes it is unnatural and that dykes/queens are confused about themselves because they "want to" appear/act like the opposite sex rather than being born that way. she also believes that it is different for transgender folk because these people have a genetic anomaly that causes them to believe they are a different gender to their physical being. and conversely homosexuals instead choose who they are attracted to. 1 argued that homosexuals may have a similar (but less dominant) genetic anomaly that is the cause of their sexuality. but 2 is firm in her beliefs. 1 asked 2 if 2's daughter ended up being a lesbian, how would she react? 2 responded that she would "accept that it is her choice". i love both of my sisters and i don't want anyone calling 2 a "narrow-minded homophobe" or anything but advice on how to deal with 2 later on would be helpful. i was already certain on 1 being the first person i come out to because she has always been more open.

so is it just a coincidence that weeks after accepting my own bisexuality that i discover my sisters' opinions? do i take the chance and come out to 1 before the topic becomes stale and irrelevant? i kind of regret not doing it there and then but i was still reeling from the shock of the situation. i'm scared that if i don't soon, that it will be a long time coming before glbt talk ever pops again. but because only homosexuality was discussed (rather than bi), i'm also scared that 1 might simply dismiss me as being confused anyway.

Hmm, any interesting situation. On the face of it, sister1 would appear more "queer friendly" than sister2. But just because sister1 argues someone's sexual preference is pre-determined doesnt mean to say that she would be any more accepting - after all, you know what sister2's view would be if she had a lesbian daughter, but what would be sister1's view if the boot was on the other foot?

Personally, I would quiz sister1 a little more about the conversation in a joking manner and ask her what would she think if one of her siblings/children was lesbian or gay, and then say "even bisexual?" and take it from there.

[naive]

Personally, I would quiz sister1 a little more about the conversation in a joking manner and ask her what would she think if one of her siblings/children was lesbian or gay, and then say "even bisexual?" and take it from there.

thanks so much. i think this would be the most logical course of action but i couldn't see it for some reason :rolleyes:

it just makes me so nervous because asking that question may inadvertently lead to the inevitable response :eek: "why do u ask?"

[AdamKadmon43]

thanks for the advice adam. however, i don't quite get the significance of the pet or those particular hobbies. could u clarify?

Just ignore that... I was most probably drunk at the time I wrote it, and It does not make any abundant amounts of sense to me either.

Adam

[Germanicus]

thanks so much. i think this would be the most logical course of action but i couldn't see it for some reason :rolleyes:

it just makes me so nervous because asking that question may inadvertently lead to the inevitable response :eek: "why do u ask?"

Well, there is always that danger, and you could reply "just curious!" :bigrin:

Joking aside, you could always ask sister1 if she has fallen out with sister2 and say that since the latter has such strong views on the topic you thought that they might have come to blows, etc., etc. Or some sort of round about way of bringing the topic up rather than a straight-to-the-point conversation.

[shameless agitator]

Naive, this is obviously bothering you a great deal & you really want to come out to your sisters, so just grow a spine and get it over with.

[DiamondDog]

Just ignore that... I was most probably drunk at the time I wrote it, and It does not make any abundant amounts of sense to me either.

Adam

Adam-yes in my heavy drinking days (read: daily. No, I'm not an alcoholic but I was in a period where I drank heavily daily.) I too would post stuff on internet boards that didn't make any sense. Or it was just an inside joke or something funny to me at the time, and in some cases it was REALLY biting and just plain mean.

Like on this other board I post at this one gay guy was all obsessed over this online friend of his. Who in my mind and many other people's minds he was unhealthy with his obsession as this guy's boyfriend later registered/posted and complained to this guy asking why he kept calling their residence as it was a long distance call and these guys were not ex's or anything.

Anyway I wrote something mean to the obsessed guy about his friend; but I was really trashed at the time and it's not an excuse but what you wrote just reminded me of that.

[naive]

it seems alcohol makes u say the darnedest things even when u have access to a "delete" button :rolleyes:

[the mage]

You need not ever come out to your sisters.
You owe them love and acceptance as they do you.
Nothing more.
You do not have to tell them what you know they cannot yet accept.

[shameless agitator]

You need not ever come out to your sisters.
You owe them love and acceptance as they do you.
Nothing more.
You do not have to tell them what you know they cannot yet accept.Actually I would argue with you on this one. Not because he owes it to his sisters, but because he owes it to himself. It's obvious the closet is suffocating him & he's dying to let the people he cares about know who he really is.

[DiamondDog]

Actually I would argue with you on this one. Not because he owes it to his sisters, but because he owes it to himself. It's obvious the closet is suffocating him & he's dying to let the people he cares about know who he really is.

Agreed.

This is his family and it's not like they're total strangers or people he works with.

Both of which IME it's not a big deal to come out to.

What happens if he starts dating a guy and either never introduces him to his family or introduces him as his "best friend" which doesn't really work and doesn't fool anyone?

[naive]

You need not ever come out to your sisters.
You owe them love and acceptance as they do you.
Nothing more.
You do not have to tell them what you know they cannot yet accept.

like most my posts, i ask a question but deep down, i basically already know the answer. i just need someone to either kick up the ass or give me a different perspective on things. i "think" i know that they will accept the truth and i want their love and acceptance for the person that i am, rather than who i pretend to be.

[shameless agitator]

Like I told Cake (not that I'm comparing you to him), Just grab your balls and get it over with.

[wanderingrichard]

oh! sorry, thot this was the Bill Engvall rant....Here's yer sign...:eek:

[naive]

Like I told Cake (not that I'm comparing you to him), Just grab your balls and get it over with.

thank god i'm not like cake! lol

i have already made the decision to, and i was about to yesterday but the timing seemed so bad, she was preoccupied and angry at her kids. but i know that the timing is never rite. i ask for a kick up the ass....and i shall receive!