what should i do?

[curiousone25]

hi, im new to this site....but i was wondering if there was anyone who could help me. Im a married women, I have been with my husband for six years and secretly i have always found other women more than just attractive. My feelings are getting stronger and stronger and i wonder if i should talk to my husband about it...i love him and dont want to lose him....also my best friend is the women im attracted to, i constantly think about being with her. we have joked before saying that we would be with each other before going to anyone else....thankyou to anyone who can help.

[Mrs.F]

hi, im new to this site....but i was wondering if there was anyone who could help me. Im a married women, I have been with my husband for six years and secretly i have always found other women more than just attractive. My feelings are getting stronger and stronger and i wonder if i should talk to my husband about it...i love him and dont want to lose him....also my best friend is the women im attracted to, i constantly think about being with her. we have joked before saying that we would be with each other before going to anyone else....thankyou to anyone who can help.

Here's what I think....I will atleast give you my :2cents:
My husband is bisexual. He had his experiences before he met me. I never knew any of this, as he kept it all to himself. We, as of yesterday have been married 10 yrs. and together for 15. I found out a month or more ago that he is bisexual ( I didn't have a clue. I had heard the term "bisexual" before but that was as far as it went. I "was" pretty clueless as to what "bisexual" really meant.)
I found out by accident about my husband after finding him logged on to this site. After confronting him with this, he told me that he was going to stay in the closet forever for fear of losing me, our marriage and everything we have worked for. Being in the "shock and fear" zone for atleast a couple of weeks I decided to join this site with him. We have talked and talked and the communication line is open now. I still have fear, but my fear is of losing him because I can't satisfy his needs. We still have alot to work out and a long road to go before I am totally comfortable with all this but I feel, because I love him and I know now that this doesn't change the person he is, the husband he has been or the father he can be to our son that I need to understand his feelings and he needs to understand mine.
You say that you have pretty strong feelings and a growing attraction to this woman. I "think" and again this is my personal opinion! You need to tell your husband. Your marriage is worth it and he deserves to know. You don't want to do anything behind his back and then he find out....that will be even worse and could destroy everything you have. Be honest...I know the fear is there and your afraid but it's who you are and you obviously can't fight the feelings anymore. At this point it's only going to make you unhappy. Not being bisexual myself I can only give you my perspective of having a bisexual spouse. I"m sure there are many people on this site that will also have encouraging words for you.
My heart goes out to you and in the end I hope everything works out for you and your husband. Be strong... :) Leslie

[arana]

Hi Curiousone, I am in the same position you are. I found this site and got to know people, after awhile, got up enough nerve to tell my husband that I was chatting at this site. After seeing what his reaction was I eased into telling him the rest, that I was bi-curious. He took it much better than I expected and felt it was a natural curiosity. Although he see's my being with a woman as cheating and therefore it's not an option for me.....yours may very well react differently. The main thing is to be gentle with it when you tell him and make sure he knows you want him more than anything. Also go slow with what you tell him. Don't overwhelm him with it all at once. Give him time to let it sink in so he hears all of what you're saying and not bits and pieces of it then jumps to conclusions.
Best of luck to you!

:tong:

[bediddle]

I had been with my guy for about 4 years before I "came out" to him. I was completely surprised by his reaction. He was really supportive. That initial conversation really opened us both us to each other. Now we talk openly about just about everything to do with our sexuality. In my case, I believe that that conversation was a major turning point in our relationship. Things weren't bad before, but we're more solid now. (That was probably a little over 2 years ago). I guess my point is that you might be surprised by your partner's reaction. I certainly was.