hurt :(

[rmorti]

My curren ex g.f/fk buddy has obviously found someone else now, She hasnt clarified this but its something that I can tell. We have hardly met and she hardly meets up when we set out our date at all, even if its just for a chat nothing happens.
It really hurts, even with all these sexuality issues, the fact my ex of over year and 11months has found someone else has ripped a hole inside me! to be honest its probably the least I deserve as its karma, I broke up with her so maybe its what I need to have done to me.
The thing that really annoys me is I really dont think I can go after her at the moment with the current issues and its really annyoing me. the thought of this new person i suspect doing stuff with her makes me sick inside and is so upsetting and I know at the moment there is not much I can do about it until i've learnt more about myself. it hurts, it hurts and it hurts, I want my lady back.

[shameless agitator]

Ok, you said you broke up with her right? Are your reasons for doing so still valid? If so why would you want her back? It sounds to me like a case of forbidden fruit syndrome. Or for a less generous assessment, like you're being a dog in the manger.

[rmorti]

what do you mean by a dog in a manger? I broke up with her because I thought I wanted to sorta, slag around, get with girls and one nighters etc as I had 3 commited relationships back to back.
It didnt really work as I got bored of just getting off with girls, it was fun but i wasnt gutsy enough to take them home or vise verse and all girls I got with wanted to meet up for drinks etc....felt like id fall into another relationship.
Then after a while of her pining for me we decided to be fk buddys...then I hit the new stage of sexuality which has distracted me etc so couldnt focus. and now Im hurt shes found someone else and that I know I cant do much till I sort myself out...

[shameless agitator]

Perhaps I was a bit harsh. Dog in the manger is kind of a farm boy expression I guess. Dogs don't like hay obviously, but will sometimes lay in the trough so that the other animals can't have it. It sounds basically like you don't really want her, you just don't want anybody else to have her. I could be misreading it, but that's how it sounds to me.

[rmorti]

some days I sorta want her sooo bad! and so days I cant really be with her cause of my issue and distractions. I mean dont get me wrong we get on like a house on fire and the sex is great and that. Its all different now, she txt back, says its cause her house is in a state, mums sad over nana dieing and that, and now I feel really bad for misjudging. says shes not over me and tell me if she ever did start something. who feels like an absolute arse now...

[shameless agitator]

Sounds like you two have a lot of talking to do. If the only issue is needing to explore your sexuality, maybe you can be poly?

[HighEnergy]

Might I suggest being completely honest with her? Why not tell her how you are feeling? Why not tell her about your orientation? If you can't be completely honest with her and expect nothing less than full acceptance of who you are, the relationship is a sham anyway. If you truly love her, take the chance. It sounds like you've opened the door to rekindling it. Go for it. Nothing worse than looking back years later and think, damn, I wish I had...

[naive]

i agree with highenergy. if you do really care about her but know that things have changed and will never be the same, you will eventually have to get over the "forbidden fruit syndrome/dog in the manger" feelings (very nice analogies). it will come when the time is right but obviously the sooner the better.

if you can get to that stage, then complete honesty is the next step. if she really is the person that you're most closest to sexually, then it sounds like she would be the perfect person to be totally open to.

worst thing that could happen would be rejection. hard yes, but at least u know that she doesn't accept u for who u are then u can properly move on. the flipside would be that she wants to explore your curiosities with u.

[DiamondDog]

You broke up with her (by your own choice I might add).
She's an ex.
Move on.
Don't dwell on the past or think about what could have been.

Find someone else, or take some time off for reflection and being single.

Being in an open relationship (or what's called being "poly") oftentimes works better in theory than in reality.

[rmorti]

I may have a chat with her when we next meet. Working a lot at the moment, always happens when I want some free time the most -.- I'll let you know how it goes anyway whatever happens.

[redheadhoneycat]

Might I suggest being completely honest with her? Why not tell her how you are feeling? Why not tell her about your orientation? If you can't be completely honest with her and expect nothing less than full acceptance of who you are, the relationship is a sham anyway. If you truly love her, take the chance. It sounds like you've opened the door to rekindling it. Go for it. Nothing worse than looking back years later and think, damn, I wish I had...

I would agree with HighEnergy.....but I would like to add I am sorry you going through this pain....good luck.

[rmorti]

Oh and DIamond dog just to clear up, I dont know why I broke up with her, I think just one night I convinced myself I was bored of being taken and wanted to play the field. we were so great together and to be honest when I look back I feel like an absolute heartless moron. Its all just a bit annoying really, you are right tho, some days I want a fresh person to meet, and some days I am happy as ever with her.
My main aim at the moment is the sort the bi side, see if its genuine or not because until thats sorted I honestly can concentrate at the best of times. Thanks for teh support all, the solution to this dilemma should be posted...soon I hope.