Brian
Apr 16, 2005, 4:38 PM
I ran across this online today - today's (April 16, 2005) Times of London: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,8123-1569340,00.html
A man writes to the Times of London Sex with Dr Thomas Stuttaford and Suzi Godson:
Just how gay am I?
I’m 49 and I’ve been married for 23 years but I’ve recently begun having liaisons with other men. I had some homosexual feelings before I got married but they have increased recently as my desire for my wife has decreased. However, I’m still unsure about the extent of my “gayness”. What should I do? Each of the two experts gives their advice. Although I don't take any major exception with what the first expert says, I am somewhat surprised that the second expert, Suzi Godson, is able to offer advice without once mentioning the word "bisexual", which the man clearly is. She says (full text, http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,8123-1569340_2,00.html):
You say that you are unsure about the extent of your “gayness”, but you’ve already had sex with other men. That makes you gay enough, I assure you. and she goes on to say,
...most couples eventually split because once a man decides that he is gay it becomes increasingly difficult for him to compromise the chemistry and exhilaration he gets from his homosexual relationships for an essentially celibate existence with a partner he loves but cannot have sex with. It's just my opinion but there is a self-proclaimed "sex expert" who has no idea what bisexuality is. She offers no support for her contention that bisexuality in a male partner eventually leads to a split in "most" M/F couples. And her extrapolation that the man's recent decrease in his desire for his wife will eventually peter out to zero and result in a celebate existance with his wife is laughable.
Maybe those of you in the UK know of this woman and she is well-recognized to be a crackpot, or maybe she is just woefully ignorant of the complexities of bisexuality and had an "off" day, but I am a little surprised at her "expert" advice. The first expert had it right, the man needs thoughtful reflection on his changing sexual desires and needs to talk it out with someone. That man needs to understand that he is not alone. And he needs to be told that an attraction to men and an attraction to his wife CAN coexist, and does so in many couples around the world.
- Drew :paw:
A man writes to the Times of London Sex with Dr Thomas Stuttaford and Suzi Godson:
Just how gay am I?
I’m 49 and I’ve been married for 23 years but I’ve recently begun having liaisons with other men. I had some homosexual feelings before I got married but they have increased recently as my desire for my wife has decreased. However, I’m still unsure about the extent of my “gayness”. What should I do? Each of the two experts gives their advice. Although I don't take any major exception with what the first expert says, I am somewhat surprised that the second expert, Suzi Godson, is able to offer advice without once mentioning the word "bisexual", which the man clearly is. She says (full text, http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,8123-1569340_2,00.html):
You say that you are unsure about the extent of your “gayness”, but you’ve already had sex with other men. That makes you gay enough, I assure you. and she goes on to say,
...most couples eventually split because once a man decides that he is gay it becomes increasingly difficult for him to compromise the chemistry and exhilaration he gets from his homosexual relationships for an essentially celibate existence with a partner he loves but cannot have sex with. It's just my opinion but there is a self-proclaimed "sex expert" who has no idea what bisexuality is. She offers no support for her contention that bisexuality in a male partner eventually leads to a split in "most" M/F couples. And her extrapolation that the man's recent decrease in his desire for his wife will eventually peter out to zero and result in a celebate existance with his wife is laughable.
Maybe those of you in the UK know of this woman and she is well-recognized to be a crackpot, or maybe she is just woefully ignorant of the complexities of bisexuality and had an "off" day, but I am a little surprised at her "expert" advice. The first expert had it right, the man needs thoughtful reflection on his changing sexual desires and needs to talk it out with someone. That man needs to understand that he is not alone. And he needs to be told that an attraction to men and an attraction to his wife CAN coexist, and does so in many couples around the world.
- Drew :paw: