Age Limit?

[LoveLion]

This was inspired by some comments on another thread. I was about to put up my opinion, but then I decided to make a new thread of it because I think it is an important issue all in itself.

Some of you may not remember, or didnt even really bother to notice it at the time, but when you sign up for this site it requires you to ensure that you are 18 years or older. Now I was 17 when I joined so I lied to the registation form (I know, Im terrable), but the fact of the matter was I just so happened to be 17 when I needed the support this site has to offer. Sexual development starts as early as age 11 and runs through a persons teenage years. These are the years when a person's sexuality and sexual orientation form and become a part of a person's life. The body and mind is a mess of emotions, feelings and urges that are new and confusing and for most bisexuals, this is the time that bisexual urges arise. Most of the time these teens have been raised in a world were it is "wrong" for a man to want a man, or a women to want a women, so not only are do these new feelings seem wrong and dirty, it makes it nearly impossible to find any help or support. The teens either lack the open minded people they could talk to, or in most cases are just to ashamed to dare speak about such things. This leads to self resentment, depression and an all round un-healthy state of mind. Bassiclly what Im saying is its a real fucking hard time for a kid and I think most of us remember what it was like.

So if only there was a place where bisexual teens could come where they cold remain anonymous if they with, were bisexuals, transsexuals, homosexuals and straights of all ages could come together for mutual support and community. A place where this confused teen could ask questions free of shame and begin to understand their sexuality. And above all us a place where the teen could know that they arent alone. Oh but there is such a place, my confused little friend, its here! Bisexual.com! But oh, no you cant come in. No no, the earth just hasnt orbited the sun quite enough times with you on it. Even your own community put up a sign saying your not old enough to come in. I guess its just a shame that sexuality is active and developing but still your denied to access anything related to sex. And so our confused and lonely teen remains alone and confused.

So why the age limit? Sure our site may contain some "adult content" but every boy has a penis, and every girl has breasts, is it so terrible that they may see a picture of the human body? Is seeing something you already have really going to damage their young minds? Certainly no more then the violence and gore shown on the nightly news, or so many TV shows. Isnt it going to be more damaging to the teen's mind to struggle alone with his/her confusion then to give them a supportive, open minded community at the expense of them seeing a few genitals? The hardest times for these teens are the years that we deny them access to this site. I say its wrong. This site should be for anyone who need's its help. These teen need help now, not in three/four years. And by the time they are 18, it could just to be late for them

[pabear]

I shall try to keep this brief...

Obviously the "age restriction/limit" is essential a legal issue.
Yes, this site offers a forum for those like minded to discuss various
topics. But it also allows for its members to get to know one another
and possibly form more intimate relationships as well.

No problem... unless this occurs with a 30 something and a teen pretending
to be an adult. The legal ramifications are obvious.
Perhaps a more understanding dialogue between peers is simply just
a conversation away.
Even those of a "straight" sexual orientation have questions growing up
but are not permitted to buy penthouse at their local store until they're 18.
No matter how filled with informational goodness they may be.

Plus, the "Are you 18" question didn't seem to hold you back...
As I am sure it hasn't/wont held/hold other enquiring minds back.

Take care.

[DiamondDog]

There are sites and online discussion groups for GLBT/questioning teens, and this happens to be a site for adults.

[DuskTillDawn]

I shall try to keep this brief...

Obviously the "age restriction/limit" is essential a legal issue.
Yes, this site offers a forum for those like minded to discuss various
topics. But it also allows for its members to get to know one another
and possibly form more intimate relationships as well.

No problem... unless this occurs with a 30 something and a teen pretending
to be an adult. The legal ramifications are obvious.
Perhaps a more understanding dialogue between peers is simply just
a conversation away.
Even those of a "straight" sexual orientation have questions growing up
but are not permitted to buy penthouse at their local store until they're 18.
No matter how filled with informational goodness they may be.

Plus, the "Are you 18" question didn't seem to hold you back...
As I am sure it hasn't/wont held/hold other enquiring minds back.

Take care.


Just 1 thing......... the whole intimate relationships thing. As you say at the bottom the age restriction isnt liable to hold back every teen. That means there are going to be plenty of under 18s on this site that people asume are atleast 18 because of the restriction. Isnt this more likely to spark dodgy intimaterelationships where teens lye about there age in order to be accepted on this in this community?


DiamondDog, have you seen the any of the sites for bisexual teens? For a start there arent many. They are also full of confused 12 to 15 year olds which really arent much help if ur 17 and further on in the process than them. What these older teens need is guidence and support from people who have been through it and can atleast understand, this is often tue of younger teens too.It just depends on your mental, emotional and sexual maturity. As a bisexual teenager ts very difficult to find support as most of you will know. Personally I found when I was 16 that after browsing the net fr hours the only community that actually helped was this, and although i didnt join for a while, everyone here provided invaluble suppport to me without even knowing I exsisted and chances are Im not alone there.

Im my personal opinion I think that when people seek a site like bisexual.com they (on the whole) have reached a mature enough level to be here.

[darkeyes]

I have sympathy for the idea of opening up the site to younger people. There are no practical problems to this but there are dangers.

I know that some members joined this site and fibbed about their age. This will always happen on the web for age limited sites. Its impossible to stop entirely. Dusk is almost right when he says there really are no sites for young gays and bisexuals. There are some, but those that do exist are seedy in the extreme or sites where people can give full reign to their fantasies or prey on the the very young. They are not satisfactory. No site will ever be completely safe whether we are under 18 or over 80. The net always has dangers.

This subject has been discussed before and Drew chose 18 presumably because of US law even though in many countries such as my own the age of consent is 16. I hate arbitrary limits but I suppose, arguably there have to be some.

We do not know just how many and which members are for instance plants of the authorities, put there with the sole object of snaring the naughtier and less savoury element among us. Obviously this site is being monitored by the authorities.. it would be astonishing given the paranoia of most states, the US especially, about sex and sexuality if it was not. Also I have no doubt that some of the bastards would love nothing better than to get their grubby hands on Drew by drawing the site into some seedy scandal and have it closed because of any excuse they can find which is contrary to their sensibilities.

I have little respect for the state and the authorities of law and order which is why I believe what I do about how the world should be. bringing in younger people would certainly make the law in many states sit up and take notice even more than they do now and the consequences of this would have to be considered. I do have sympathy and wish the only consequences were that opening up the site to the young was to their benefit. But there are more, not least of which would be the justification the state, religions and other less than tolerant organisations would use to do down bisexual people and gays for that matter.

Its a mine field. As a group we have to consider the whole picture. In principle I agree and would be prepared to argue for lowering the age which people can join the site. But please dont think there would be no repercussions. There would be.... its unavoidable..... so we must ask ourselves if we are prepared for them?

[DuskTillDawn]

I see your point darkeyes and lowering he age limi on this site in pericular is mybe not worth the risk.

btw, u sound really smart sometimes! (no offence the other times)

[darkeyes]

Ta Dusk.. so do u.. me smart all the time..jus hava helluva sensa fun....:female:

[the mage]

As in the rest of the real world people just lie as needed to get the info they want online.

The legal ramifications make the charade necessary on every site everywhere due to the U.S. overwhelming presence on the web. IE the major servers being in the states...

Here in Canada a person can legally have sex at age 14 but cannot look at porn or be seen in in till 18. Our "laws" are just nuts,,,the US laws are worse.

[Brian]

Hi LL et al,

The reasoning behind the strict 18+ rule here on bisexual.com is twofold...

1. The mission of bisexual.com is to facilitate both the entertainment and education of bisexuals and our friends. The mixing of entertainment and education presents problems regarding minors: Firstly, because intentionally providing sexual entertainment to minors is a crime (and probably rightly so) in most parts of the western world. And secondly, because sites that do mix adults seeking entertainment with youths inevitably have a problem with some adults preying on youths. I think there are sites out there that are well-known to sexual predators for this - I don't want bisexual.com to become one of those sites. By keeping the youths out, we keep the sexual predators out.

2. I am not qualified to run a site that provides education and support to bi youth. I feel strongly that any site that does so needs to be run by qualified people.

So the 18+ rule is written in stone and I don't see it changing anytime in the forseeable future.

- Drew :paw:

[gb11vt18]

The age limit is just a measure so that they know that adult content is on this site. This site contains alot less adult content than many other sexually based sites, which is nice becasue you can discuss a range of different topics and interact with different people. As a teen or 19 I understand the need to have an age limit, however if they really want to join the site it is not too difficult to just fake thier age and join. The biggest reason for the age limit in my mind is that people place sexually pictures on their profile and for that reason we need an age limit on the site. Like any porn site they have an age limit. Now do people follow it, no not at all, but for the sites legal protection it needs to have it stated so that if a minor were to use it for somthing they would be unable to blame the site. I just hope and agree with Drew that this site is keeping out the sexually preditors and allowing the rest of us to enjoy this site and the people who join and share ideas.

[shameless agitator]

Another possibility for ya lion (or any under 18s who may be reading this) if you want a bi forum that's open to teens and adults would be the groups on myspace. There are at least a couple that I know of and probably more. I'm actually thinking about starting one myself.

[AdamKadmon43]

I can certainly sympathize with the plight of very young bisexual teens, having gone through that my own self..... It ain't easy.

But for their safety and the safety of the rest of us, they must not be allowed in here.

Adam

[arana]

I can truly sympathize with any young person trying to find answers to themselves. After all I came here for that same reason. However, anyone that is under 18yrs old and lied to become a member in the first place then goes into chat, flirts with the adults and then turns around and says "hey I'm "this many" years old" I got to wonder. When they are called on it suddenly they're just trying to find answers or learn about their sexuality. I know if I were still under aged and honestly trying to find answers I wouldn't be stupid enough to announce my real age in a chat room to perfect strangers. Kids aren't stupid, not the type that I think are really lost and searching for people that are like themselves and trying to be accepted. These are kids already knowledgeable in keeping their "secret" till they know they are safe, just like many of us are have to.

Isn't there a way that some of the people here who work with GLBT groups could get something organized for teens that actually works for them? I know that Drew made this site for adult entertainment and not taking away from all the great work he's done, but it was the people here that made it the family it's become. The people are what kept it from becoming just another cold sex site. Couldn't this be done for younger people as well? Something they could feel welcome and comfortable to talk to one another in??? Just my :2cents:

[Lisa (va)]

Personally I think Drew deserves (and gets) the appreciation he deserves for his wonderful site.

Laws are laws, regardless of whether we agree with them or not, as adults we understand they are meant to be followed. Never have been to one, but I am sure there are sites designed for teens, however, this isn't one of them.
And if denying access to underage folks protects even just one child from a sexual predator I more than think it's worth it.

Now, I am from a small county and I knew I felt differently than my classmates and friends, but going to the internet wasn't something I thought to do. I may be naive, but I see no reason why someone can't talk to someone closer to them than a perfect stranger with intentions unknkown - for me it was a matter of talking to my mother, and though she didn't have all the answers she had good advice, just be the best you can be and follow your heart.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[Azrael]

Another possibility for ya lion (or any under 18s who may be reading this) if you want a bi forum that's open to teens and adults would be the groups on myspace. There are at least a couple that I know of and probably more. I'm actually thinking about starting one myself.

*coughs, twitches*
Im fucking THERE dood!
*resumes thc oxidation ritual*

[shameless agitator]

*coughs, twitches*
Im fucking THERE dood!
*resumes thc oxidation ritual*Huh? You sayin you'll join the group if I start it? Is this "If you build it they will come"?

[Azrael]

Huh? You sayin you'll join the group if I start it? Is this "If you build it they will come"?

Indeed.

[shameless agitator]

I'm on it

[LoveLion]

Lots of good points there. But I still think we should at least be a little more accommodating to the youth. Someone mentioned the nude pic on the profile. Theres been numerous discussions about whether these pics are appropriate in a profile. I dont mind the pics personally and think that ideally anyone should be able to put up any pics of their own body, however we also need to think of the cost. Is it worth it to ban many people who need real help so we have the luxury of these pics? Personally that is something I would be willing to sacrifice. And if you want to share such pics theres always email and such.

And I know that the pics are not the only reason for the age limit. What if we had something like a limited profile for anyone under 18 that keeps them away from the "adult" content (if there even is such a thing). Or have another section of the forum thats only for support and not sex that the teens can enter, while keeping the other one for the "adult" topics. Anyways just some ideas