Where Do You Live?

[The Barefoot Contess]

I do not mean to pry or anything, but I was wondering what your situation is like in terms of place of residence. I live in Central PA, and I feel like shooting myself :-( Datingwise, especially if you are gay, not to mention if you are lesbian or bi, this town sucks!!! Not only that. I happen to teach at a major university, and the campus feels as if a bunch of white rosy-cheeked happy heterosexual American undergrads (this is the European in me, sorry ;-) with an obvious contempt for diversity were singing their it-feels-great-to-be-me-you-can-burn-in-hell hymns all over the place.
We have our doses of hate speech on campus every Wednesday, and the school says it is freedom of speech; you wear a human rights campaign sign and people first ask you "what is that?" and when you tell them they are like "oh" and are in a sudden hurry.

And besides, my best friend in the world, my hero, my everything, moved out of town and I feel so lonely without him...

Sorry, I just needed to vent. I still have two more years here and I am counting each and every second. If you are going to say, go out and meet people, forget it, there is NOTHING here. :(

How do you guys deal with living in sucky sucky towns?

Thanks for reading.

[Azrael]

My corner of Florida isn't too too bad. I'm in North Pinellas County sorts between St. pete and Tampa(both of which have thriving queer cultures). Where I actually live is stupid white suburbanite gated community hell, but I'm within striking distance if I wanna go to a bar or club or see a band. As for actually meeting guys around here, or even girls for that matter. I'm a bit clueless. I don't find people that much, they tend to find me. I'm a bit timid in this respect. But I'm working on that. I'm thinking of going to PFLAG pinellas or some of the other queer friendly places round here. Just remember, you NEVER know who is or isn't, regardless of where you are. It takes all kinds :bigrin:

Yeah, I knew a lot of kids like your students. They used to spread rumors about me blowing away my entire class. I got suspended cause I stared alpha male jackoff boy right in the face after he said some stupid shit. I said "You'll be first, asshole". Only time I ever got suspended from school. Nothing happened to them(although the kid who beat the shit out of me when I was 12 died in a drunk driving fatality in his early 20s. at that point I just felt bad, cause from what I heard he actually grew up and became nice. C'est la vie.

Relax, Karma ALWAYS comes back.

[The Barefoot Contess]

I forgot to say... there is ONE gay bar in town, which is so tiny and hidden that it pretty much feels like going out to get into the closet again ;) And the two girls at the bar are not lesbians, god forbid, but friends of gay guys.

Azrael, you are always so nice.

[Azrael]

I'll give you a chance to retract that last part before people start throwing lit cigarettes and half full cans of beer :yikes2:
But seriously, thank you much. I do my best, I just fuck up here and there. Still plugging away with finding my balance.
Good Luck!
-tom

[The Barefoot Contess]

Ok, ok, stop the stoning, people. He is not nice. He is the nicestest karma seeker ever :rolleyes:

[TaylorMade]

I do not mean to pry or anything, but I was wondering what your situation is like in terms of place of residence. I live in Central PA, and I feel like shooting myself :-( Datingwise, especially if you are gay, not to mention if you are lesbian or bi, this town sucks!!! Not only that. I happen to teach at a major university, and the campus feels as if a bunch of white rosy-cheeked happy heterosexual American undergrads (this is the European in me, sorry ;-) with an obvious contempt for diversity were singing their it-feels-great-to-be-me-you-can-burn-in-hell hymns all over the place.
We have our doses of hate speech on campus every Wednesday, and the school says it is freedom of speech; you wear a human rights campaign sign and people first ask you "what is that?" and when you tell them they are like "oh" and are in a sudden hurry.

And besides, my best friend in the world, my hero, my everything, moved out of town and I feel so lonely without him...

Sorry, I just needed to vent. I still have two more years here and I am counting each and every second. If you are going to say, go out and meet people, forget it, there is NOTHING here. :(

How do you guys deal with living in sucky sucky towns?

Thanks for reading.


If I knew this is how my professors felt about me and my classmates, I now feel glad I gave one or two of them hell. :tong:

I live in Miami, it's geared toward the G (:male: G specifically) of the LGBT. It's sometimes frustrating, but - - hey, I know I'm not meant to be here forever. There are things I like about Miami (the weather, My Dolphins) but the things I dislike are making me want to leave. I wish Miami could have what I wanted, but, if it did, It wouldn't be Miami, would it?

*Taylor*

[redheadhoneycat]

Try a small town (32,500 people) in East Texas then you will know hidden and by the way there are no gay/bi bars for 100 miles or more. So I truely know what you mean.....people around here I think hide it because they are just to afraid of the close minded hillbillies......anyway good luck in your search.

[shameless agitator]

I'm in the great north woods aka rural Washington state. I've found that small towns in general are usually pretty accepting. People usually live in the country because they don't fit into the urban "mainstream" culture for one reason or another, so usually us misfits are pretty accepting of each other. Unfortunately there aren't a whole lot of options for socializing here & I have to go into Seattle if I want a gay bar, but C'est La Vie.

[onewhocares]

We live in the south coast of Massachusetts, a half an hour from Boston, Providence and Cape Cod. Lots to do in all of the above.

[darkeyes]

City of half a million, political capital of a small country which has been traditionally very macho. Liberal, tolerant, accepting and fun. Traditionally a pretty conservative place, but in my lifetime (thanks Mrs Thatcher) has turned around to be the progressive place it is today. Has its own pink triangle, and has a decent scene. Easier for gay and bi women than men, but isnt that like every where else?

Home to the largest arts festival on the planet, and many other festivals, jazz, books, telly, the fringe (triff), film. Gr8 clubs, pubs, shoppin and only 45 miles from even better shoppin.. Glasgow..chic city!

I am not blind to its faults, and they are many. Crime, violence,poverty, drugs, racism, bigotry of many kinds, but most people are decent and accepting, and its getting better. I dread ever leaving, for I was born here and love it more than any place on earth.

Millions of visitors from all over the world make it even more fun, and there is lots 2 do and see all year round, and they have helped break down the historical prejudices of Edinburgers.

And its home to me luffly Jambos... even if they have started the season crappie!! Wot cud b better?:bigrin:

[The Barefoot Contess]

City of half a million, political capital of a small country which has been traditionally very macho. Liberal, tolerant, accepting and fun. Traditionally a pretty conservative place, but in my lifetime (thanks Mrs Thatcher) has turned around to be the progressive place it is today. Has its own pink triangle, and has a decent scene. Easier for gay and bi women than men, but isnt that like every where else?

Home to the largest arts festival on the planet, and many other festivals, jazz, books, telly, the fringe (triff), film. Gr8 clubs, pubs, shoppin and only 45 miles from even better shoppin.. Glasgow..chic city!

I am not blind to its faults, and they are many. Crime, violence,poverty, drugs, racism, bigotry of many kinds, but most people are decent and accepting, and its getting better. I dread ever leaving, for I was born here and love it more than any place on earth.

Millions of visitors from all over the world make it even more fun, and there is lots 2 do and see all year round, and they have helped break down the historical prejudices of Edinburgers.

And its home to me luffly Jambos... even if they have started the season crappie!! Wot cud b better?:bigrin:


Edinburgh rocks. What can I say? I have been there a couple of times, long ago now, and it was really neat.

[The Barefoot Contess]

If I knew this is how my professors felt about me and my classmates, I now feel glad I gave one or two of them hell. :tong:

I live in Miami, it's geared toward the G (:male: G specifically) of the LGBT. It's sometimes frustrating, but - - hey, I know I'm not meant to be here forever. There are things I like about Miami (the weather, My Dolphins) but the things I dislike are making me want to leave. I wish Miami could have what I wanted, but, if it did, It wouldn't be Miami, would it?

*Taylor*

Ok, maybe I was too hard. Every once in a while, you do come across some nice people. Maybe I just need to convince myself, since classes start again on Monday :rolleyes:

[darkeyes]

Edinburgh rocks. What can I say? I have been there a couple of times, long ago now, and it was really neat.

An it rocks even more now!!!!:bigrin: Afta all.. it has me!!!:tong:

[Danielle B]

Central PA? Ugh- you have my condolences:eek:

For now, I'm at the Jersey shore. People always seem to consider New Jersey as a whole to be a liberal oasis, and some parts are, but not the part I'm in. You could take most of the Jersey Shore, put it deep in the heart of Alabama or some place like that, and it wouldn't miss a beat. It's very conservative here.

[jedinudist]

I've lived a quite a few places (Really... ALLOT of places) around the USA. I was most active (read - in high school) in a little town in the mountains of Virginia where there was condoned open hostility towards any form of "non-heterosexuality".

Currently we live very close to Memphis, TN where there is allot of hostility towards bisexual males. Even the Memphis GLBT community center calls itself the Gay and Lesbian community center. They only use the GLBT part in their explanation of what they support. I tried several times to get a support group for bisexuals started there. As long as I was asking in front of others, they would act excited about it. But once it was just a conversation between the directors and me, they ignored me completely. They approached me about exhibiting my artwork there and acted enthusiastic about that as well until they learned that I am not a gay man, but a bisexual one. As soon as they learned about my orientation, they just ignored me again.

Needless to say I don't volunteer there and don't waste my time with them anymore.

[CuddlyKate]

The subject of Edinburgh being laid back about gay and bisexuality is an argument Frances and I have had for a long time. I am not quite so outgoing as she is, and am much more easily intimidated by prejudice which is why I have never been quite so open about my sexuality as she. It is not a haven of bigotry before she jumps down my throat, but it can be a very unpleasant place at times if there are bigots within a mile of you. Like most of the UK it has made huge strides in the last 40 years, but there are many who simply will have no truck with the likes of us. Much of that bigotry comes from the gay and lesbian community many of whom have no tolerance for bisexuals in any way. Some of them even have none for their own kind, especially gay men.

When I met Frances I was scared stiff of revealing my sexuality to the world but she showed me a side of human nature and of Edinburgh I had no idea existed and shall always be grateful to her for that. But while our home town is lovely and friendly city it has a dark side which is quite loathesome. While it is fun and exciting it is also very scary indeed if you do not fit into what is considered the norm.

Please dont let anything Ive said put you off. Frances knows the dark side of Edinburgh, but is much less wary of it than me. I am far from in the closet, but my private life is my own, and as far as I can, considering who I live with I like to keep it that way.

Ok. Now its in the right thread. The embarrassment remains.:(

[darkeyes]

No baby.. not scary... its a lotta things but not that.... besides.. ya hav me 2 keepya safe!!!:bigrin:

[DiamondDog]

I do not mean to pry or anything, but I was wondering what your situation is like in terms of place of residence. I live in Central PA, and I feel like shooting myself :-( Datingwise, especially if you are gay, not to mention if you are lesbian or bi, this town sucks!!! Not only that. I happen to teach at a major university, and the campus feels as if a bunch of white rosy-cheeked happy heterosexual American undergrads (this is the European in me, sorry ;-) with an obvious contempt for diversity were singing their it-feels-great-to-be-me-you-can-burn-in-hell hymns all over the place.
We have our doses of hate speech on campus every Wednesday, and the school says it is freedom of speech; you wear a human rights campaign sign and people first ask you "what is that?" and when you tell them they are like "oh" and are in a sudden hurry.

And besides, my best friend in the world, my hero, my everything, moved out of town and I feel so lonely without him...

Sorry, I just needed to vent. I still have two more years here and I am counting each and every second. If you are going to say, go out and meet people, forget it, there is NOTHING here. :(

How do you guys deal with living in sucky sucky towns?

Thanks for reading.

Actually I've lived in the area in central PA where you are now.

It's not THAT bad as you describe.

There's lots to do from going hiking/camping, seeing national forests, plays/concerts, easy travel to cities (if you have a car), skiing (not my thing but it's there), movies (mainstream and independent), an excellent university library, a great GLBT center, a kick ass used bookstore/cafe, a zen meditation center (this isn't actually in the town but it's close by outside), and there are some cool museums on campus like the art museum, a museum devoted to rocks/minerals, an anthropology museum, and even a museum where you can touch and look at insects from around the world!

Yes there is cheap alcohol but I'd rather be able to get drunk/buzzed off of $15 or less including tips, than pay for the same drinks that are really expensive and overpriced near/in a city.

I actually love the gay/GLBT bar and club there since it's fun and not so cliquey as the bars in/near philadelphia are, and they stock an excellent selection of beer, wine, and liquor including micro brew beer for cheaper prices than you'll find in a city.

I don't care that two female bartenders aren't lesbian as they do a damn good job as bartenders and they're skilled at the art of conversation and they remember things about their customers, are good at making/improvising drinks, and are friendly people. :)

Yes the bar is small but that's part of why I like it since you're forced to talk to people and they're a lot more friendlier even to strangers than most people are in gay/GLBT bars/clubs in/near philadelphia.

Also you can meet lots of gay/bi people in other bars too.

I have lots of gay/bi male friends there and there are openly out gay/bi/trans/lesbian people who live there.

There are lots of social groups for gay/bi men and there are lots of gay/bi men to date or just become friends with.

Yes there are lesbian/bi women as well.

Most people do meet online but that's how things are done nowadays and even heterosexuals do this, most of my hetero friends from around here have met their boyfriends/girlfriends on myspace or other sites.

You can still meet people face to face there however and actually that's how I've met and made some of my best friends most of who are gay/bi.

Anyway I live outside of Philadelphia now and it was a lot easier and more laid back in rural central PA than it is in/around Philadelphia.

I've gotten bashed (sometimes just verbally) a lot MORE in/around philadelphia than I did when I lived in rural central PA.

For example in rural central PA I've kissed men and held their hands in public and nobody cares, says anything, stares, or says rude comments or calls me and my friend a faggot like they do around/in philadelphia.

Right now I live near philadelphia and it's OK but I feel like I've been here too long and I don't like philadelphia as a whole compared to other cities (for example I LOVE nyc but I'd never live there as I don't want to and I can't even begin to afford it); but that's where I am and my family is here and I'm here now.

[The Barefoot Contess]

Uuummm, we might be talking about different places, j/k. Experiences vary according to the person, right?

One thing. In this town, datingwise, which is what I intended to talk about (I know there are museums, and an excellent library, and Websters is the best used bookstore in the area, and some concerts, and outdoor sports and stuff), is easier, IMHO, for undergrads. Or maybe I am way too weird. I simply don't like to go to bars where the average age is ten years my younger. I have a hard time connecting with their interests, and I am sure vice versa. Zeno's is a great place, though. Too bad a guy I used to see (and it did not end up that well) goes there often.

I never complained about the waitresses at the bar. They are great people, and do an excellent job, and I did not mean to imply that they have to be bi or lesbian to work there. That would be ridiculous.

I am glad you were never bashed or were the victim of hate speech. I have. I would say it is a frequent thing. However, when every Wednesday there is a preacher, on campus, outside of one of the major buildings, yelling that homos will go to hell and gay marriage is unconstitutional, it makes you wonder. I really couldn't care less what he says about hell or heaven or any of that, but I teach in that building often and you can hear him in class. I don't think I (or my students) should have to put up with that.

On a happier note, there is indeed an LGBTA meeting tomorrow at the mentioned bookstore. Let's see how that goes.

[DiamondDog]

Uuummm, we might be talking about different places, j/k. Experiences vary according to the person, right?

One thing. In this town, datingwise, which is what I intended to talk about (I know there are museums, and an excellent library, and Websters is the best used bookstore in the area, and some concerts, and outdoor sports and stuff), is easier, IMHO, for undergrads. Or maybe I am way too weird. I simply don't like to go to bars where the average age is ten years my younger. I have a hard time connecting with their interests, and I am sure vice versa. Zeno's is a great place, though. Too bad a guy I used to see (and it did not end up that well) goes there often.

I never complained about the waitresses at the bar. They are great people, and do an excellent job, and I did not mean to imply that they have to be bi or lesbian to work there. That would be ridiculous.

I am glad you were never bashed or were the victim of hate speech. I have. I would say it is a frequent thing. However, when every Wednesday there is a preacher, on campus, outside of one of the major buildings, yelling that homos will go to hell and gay marriage is unconstitutional, it makes you wonder. I really couldn't care less what he says about hell or heaven or any of that, but I teach in that building often and you can hear him in class. I don't think I (or my students) should have to put up with that.

On a happier note, there is indeed an LGBTA meeting tomorrow at the mentioned bookstore. Let's see how that goes.

that preacher has been outside the building for decades.

Ask him about how he used lots of cocaine in the 1970s and early 1980s. ;)

Also, many universities do have such people like him/preachers on their campuses.

A friend of mine went to the university of Delaware and told me how they had a guy like that and friends of mine from Philadelphia talked about people like that on their urban campuses.

[sammie19]

Where I live is a rural area in the South East of Scotland. I was raised in this area, just across the border for a time (which is just as bad) and went to school here. It is also a part of the world where attitudes have not changed much since Queen Victoria was on the throne. I have written about this in other threads and at one stage was forced away by the prejudice I found about peoples alternative sexuality. There is almost no support for gays or bi's, there is little or no attempt by most locals to understand or tolerate them. I moved back because my gf is here and wants to stay. Also my family is here and so things arent so bad now. The locals and us have come to a kind of peace where we just dont speak about our lives and we sort of get along. The one saving grace is that many of the young kids dont have quite the same scruples as their parents and are much more accepting of alternative ways of living. Hope on the horizon? I do hope so.

Fran and Kate have discussed Edinburgh and I must admit to being closer to Fran than Kate. It is there I moved when I was forced away from home. I found it a very liberating experience but as I have relatives in the city I have always known it quite well and it held no fears for me. It is a fun place. It is pretty tolerant and has moved with the times. But as Fran herself acknowledges it has its darker side and more than once I have been a bit frightened by what was happening around me. And like Kate I have been intimidated by some of the intolerance I found. However these have been isolated incidents and I enjoyed the short time I lived in the city. In fact we still go back for nights out when we can and usually have a great time.

Wherever we live has drawbacks and its good points. The thing is not to bitch about them too much but to make the best we can of our home and do what little we can to move things along.

And Kate? Its lovely to see your name in here again sometimes. Just keep supermouth in line will you?

[Skater Boy]

London. One of the biggest and most expensive cities in the world, if I remember rightly. Capital City of England, and home of Her Royal Heighness Queen Elizabeth the Second. Population of approximately 7.5 million. There's more mind-numbing facts here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/London Just in case you were unfamiliar with it.

Its an ok place... not particularly homosexual-friendly, but then not overly homophobic either. there are a quite a few gay bars in town, and even an area (well, street) called "Old Compton Street" that is pretty much Gay Central. We have a gay Mardi Gras once a year, and various societies that supposedly look out for our interests.

The weather ain't that great, though.

[FalconAngel]

Our little piece of Florida has a mostly LGBT friendly culture. The two big areas that have felt the most effect from the LGBT community is the Las Olas blvd area of Ft. Lauderdale and the town of Wilton Manors. Unfortunately, if homophobic Mayor Jim Naugle (Ft. Lauderdale) has his way, then Las Olas will return to the seedy lowlife district that it was before the gay community moved in and took it over.

[hotblue9925]

In Seattle (which is almost two hours away) there is a great deal of - not tolerance because that implies disdain - but acceptance of sexual diversity. Portland is pretty close to this as well. But as you travel between these two points the acceptance factor fades pretty quickly and even though I live within sight of the Space Needle - it is not safe (physically or mentally) for anyone to be true to themselves.

The sad thing is, there are a LOT of hypocrites who fill the void. Everyone, it seems, is willing to try anything behind closed doors - but if you get caught it's like they all get collective amnesia and you find yourself very isolated indeed.

However, that having been said, even Seattle's community has a real hard time accepting the "bi" community without some hostility.

[darkeyes]

And Kate? Its lovely to see your name in here again sometimes. Just keep supermouth in line will you?
WTF is supermouth wee Craigie??? Havta assume its 1 of Kate's m8s... cos ya surely cant mean lil ole me!!!:bigrin:

[vices2habits]

Outside San Diego now, in the country... but know both ends of -- and Central -- Pennsylvania intimately. Oddly enough, Pittsburgh was more bi-friendly than Philadelphia (there's actually a swing club near Pittsburgh with a stated open-bisexuality policy for both genders), and both were about even, it seemed, on the "G" part of the LGBT community. Central PA -- the area that we called "Happy Valley" then -- had only well-hidden opportunities that had to be sought out with diligence (and care). But they seemed always to be there to be found.

San Diego is more conservative than one would think... the entirety of the LGBT community seems shoe-horned into one tiny "gay ghetto" called Hillcrest. Outside that, there's nothing. Zip, zero, nada... and the choices there for nitespots are capital-G Gay or capital-L Lesbian. I haven't found any yet where alt-lifestyle bi-folk mingle.

But we do have one nude beach near town (Blacks Beach at La Jolla), and another about an hour's drive north (at San Onofre). Neither is anything close to an orgy-waiting-to-happen (hanging out at the nekkid beach is a whole different mindset altogether), but there are plenty of bi and bi-friendly folks there (great place to meet couples who play)... and a whole separate section where the gay guys hang out together.

[wanderingrichard]

guess it depends on exactly what you mean by "central PA"... i escaped it 30 years ago.. ever hear of lewisburg and bucknell univ. ?? go 10 miles west of there.. 55 seniors in a high school graduation class?? tell me about sticking out if you aint hetro and macho...

thankfully after years of wandering [ yep it's part of the reason for my name] i finally welcomed san antonio as my adoptive home.. acceptance there is still a bit iffy depending on where you are located in the city, but it's lots more open than some hick farming community in northern appalachia. my favorite barber was such a flamer i kind of wondered if he wasnt a bit mental.. imagine having your hair cut and styled by a man in a matadors outfit...who happens to worry about every little snip and flip as the world would end.. trust me, if i ever found jorge again , i'd send everyone i know there....

but, work has forced me to move much farther north and live about 60 miles southeast of seattle... waaayyyy out in the shadow of mount rainier [ "agitator" is right about the place. at least that area of the US.. those of us who are nails that stick up usually live out where we dont have the confinements of the cities, but seattle seems to be a hub of just about everything] takes me an hour just to get anywheres near tacoma. [if i don't have to fight the local elk for use of the driveway..].which seems to have the only gblt bar/club in the area..[ club silverstone] for sure havent found one in orting or puyallup...unless you wanna go the broke back mountain route.. sorry, adopted texan that i am, i'm not into the "cowboy thang.." and, borrowing a stereo type, when you think of that area of the country, don't lumber jacks come to mind instead of billy bob with a stetson and a toyota ??

btw, right now, am back in central penna on a business trip working just outside annville , staying in swatara /harrisburg...ironic isnt it?

[LoveLion]

I currently live in a small military base town where polo shirts (colors popped), trucker hats and overdoses of testosterone. Its safe and friendly, but also its not the most liberal of towns as is a very cold and lonely place for bi/gay people. Theres no gay bars, no gay clubs, no meeting groups and there is always the odd looks and behind the back taunts if you mention your "differentness" or even dress slightly flamboyantly. Fortunately tomorrow I head off to University in Toronto! Looking forward to a more open mined community and some similar people.

[Herbwoman39]

Many of you have already heard me whining about where I live. Melbourne, FL aka MelHell. With a population of 76,963 in 2006 you can hear the crickets chip by 8pm during the week. There is one gay bar that I have yet to visit. I don't drink and cigarette smoke makes my throat close up :(

There is NO LGBT community here and no pride events. I've met and or seen a few lesbian and bi women on dating sites from here but they are very few and far between. Honestly I cannot *wait*to move back to Atlanta where there is a MUCH larger community.

The closest good clubs are in Orlando 90 minutes away and some of them have closed recently. There are also the southern Florida groups but they're 3 hours away and that makes for a long day trip. Sooo...I wait and try dating online and bide my time for one more year.

[citystyleguy]

I do not mean to pry or anything, but I was wondering what your situation is like in terms of place of residence. I live in Central PA, and I feel like shooting myself :-( Datingwise, especially if you are gay, not to mention if you are lesbian or bi, this town sucks!!! Not only that. I happen to teach at a major university, and the campus feels as if a bunch of white rosy-cheeked happy heterosexual American undergrads (this is the European in me, sorry ;-) with an obvious contempt for diversity were singing their it-feels-great-to-be-me-you-can-burn-in-hell hymns all over the place.
We have our doses of hate speech on campus every Wednesday, and the school says it is freedom of speech; you wear a human rights campaign sign and people first ask you "what is that?" and when you tell them they are like "oh" and are in a sudden hurry.

And besides, my best friend in the world, my hero, my everything, moved out of town and I feel so lonely without him...

Sorry, I just needed to vent. I still have two more years here and I am counting each and every second. If you are going to say, go out and meet people, forget it, there is NOTHING here. :(

How do you guys deal with living in sucky sucky towns?

Thanks for reading.

can't say that i have that problem! anything you want for here in the serene state of california is for the having; as for my home town, the glorious city of the angels (and devils for that matter, as everything coexists here), if what you are looking for cannot be found, it puts out the door mat to inventive minds, so create it!

[Lisa (va)]

I've lived a quite a few places (Really... ALLOT of places) around the USA. I was most active (read - in high school) in a little town in the mountains of Virginia where there was condoned open hostility towards any form of "non-heterosexuality".



I also live in the mountains of Virginia, however I have a totally opposite impression than you. I enjoy the laid back atmosphere and wide open spaces of the hills. Now the closest city near us (Roanoke/Salem) isn't really very big, but it has some places for folks with varied interests. I think regardless of where someone is, it boils down to the persons perspective as to their feelings and thoughts about the place.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[coyotedude]

I live about 60 miles south of Seattle in the town of Olympia. My experience is that there's a lot of acceptance in Olympia for folks of diverse sexual orientations, and we seem to have a strong LGBT community here. (I think much of it has to do with the local college, which earns its reputation as a haven for liberal left-winger!) However, the area around Olympia can be much less accepting or even tolerant, particularly to the south of here. And even Olympia is not perfect, by any means.

Peace

[SCMarie]

Small town in the Bible Belt with - only about 6,000 in the entire town and I don't know one other G/Bi person here. :eek:

[AdamKadmon43]

I live in a state of confusion and denial.

[Azrael]

I live in a state of confusion and denial.

How do you know my language?!?!?

[junior8]

In Connecticut its not hard to meet a guy if your a guy or a woman if your a woman its just hard to meet bi couples.

[jedinudist]

I also live in the mountains of Virginia, however I have a totally opposite impression than you. I enjoy the laid back atmosphere and wide open spaces of the hills. Now the closest city near us (Roanoke/Salem) isn't really very big, but it has some places for folks with varied interests. I think regardless of where someone is, it boils down to the persons perspective as to their feelings and thoughts about the place.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

Oh, I agree with you to a point. However I have personally witnessed several football players beat the living shit out of a new kid because he dressed differently and stated he doesn't have "an issue with homosexuals". He wasn't gay or bi, and got his ass kicked because he was a "sympathizer". We hid our orientation as if our lives depended on it because quite literally, it may have.
These are the same kind of people that strapped that poor kid to that fence and left him to die. Now not everyone there was like that, but they didn't step in and fight it either.

[mistymockingbird]

Like some others, I've lived in quite a few places during my short life. Currently I'm in San Francisco and while not perfect (even in mecca there are issues) it's pretty damn good. We were also just rated the #1 city in the US for single folks by Forbes magazine.

Everywhere I've been I've been luckier than most because I work in the arts. The arts are very queer friendly generally speaking. Where I'm at currently, both of the top 2 head honchos are queer. One in fact holds quasi-mythical status in the community here because of his family history and its place in queer culture. Of my other co-workers easily a third of the staff is queer and out.

Having lived in places like West Texas where to be out means a daily risk of harassment, I have to say I'm very thankful to have landed here in SF.

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

wow...i thought i was the only one who felt my state was pretty fucked up...i honest hate it in california we have no budget control no steady rules they let anybody sneak here and the prices of homes r rediculious gas is pathetic and they want u 2 pay higher taxes 4 bullshit then they pocket the money......there r no places or cities where u can go safely or without ppl being rude or ignorant....plus every damn restaurant has a bad ass grade of either a b or c some has a's but u stil r scared 2 eat there b/c u don't what the hell they r servin u when u go in there....in my cities there r no bisexual ppl most of the clubs r in hollywood and 2 go 2 a nice place u have 2 go far out

[Tom41bimwm]

for 18 years lived 50 south of Washington DC, in Virginia...miss being there...last 26 years have lived in Limestone, Maine, Lancaster/Palmdale California, Goldsboro, North Carolina, and settled here in Dayton, Ohio. I've lived in Keflavik, Iceland and Diego Garcia, British Indian Ocean Territory too. Been around, and you'll guess that I was in the service.

[swag85]

Grew up in a little town of 1200 called southampton, on lake huron in ontario, now i live in victoria BC witch has a good gay comunity, not as large as i expected since about 1/3rd of victoria is gay or lesbian.
Love it here!

[the mage]

CANADA!!!

I grew up in Montreal but have live all over the Toronto area for my adult life.
I'm in Mississauga now which is governed separately from Toronto but is literally right next door. There are 5 million people in the Toronto area. Meeting people is easy as the attitude here is live and let live...
so long as you pick up your dog shit.

[Dagni]

Well i live in 3 places, and it's all looks good for me as a biseuxual person.
My hometown and place where i live and trying to spend mostof the time is famous town named Jyväskylä in central Finland, about 350 km northern of Helsinki. It's home of autosport in Scandinavia, with 35 000 ppl, so it's great place to live cause the whole town is surrounded with forest on west and biggest lake in Finland on east. People here are like anywhere in Finland, not so warm, quiet, but kind and totaly open minded. But unfortunatly i spend less time in Finland then i want to, but it's ok.

Second place where i live and the place that's in my heart is Stockholm in Sweden. I think it's prettiest city on Earth, and Swedes are in some way, on Nordic way similar to Finns, so in some way i feel the same if i'm in Helsinki or Stockholm, but Stockholm brings the most precious memories of my life, and it's so open place for being bi, gay, les, whatever. No one actually cares for what other people are, it's just liberal city.

So, if i try to compare all Scandinavian countries with the temper, about liberalism about bisexuality and homosexuality, it's very very similar cause no one will desturb you here cause you're bi/gay/les. People only mind their own business, so i don't have to explain to anyone why am i in lesbian marriedge and so on. But the fact is that Finland have most prettiest girls and guys on whole planet.

And Monte Carlo...well, for my job, it's much more common to spend time there, but that's completely snobbish place, much worse than Vegas is, you know, rich ppl from whole world live there cause of law taxes, and it's all glamorous and bisexuality in that surrounding,,,,well it's not taboo, personaly no one cares in Monaco are you bi or not, people are too busy with their own stuffs and making $ / €.

At the end, i'm trying to imagine myself to live in States or Canada. I've been there million times, but i never felt it like my own home, somehow, i felt pretty isolated, except in Quebec.

But don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that Europe is better, it's just different, 46 nations...it's more open.

[Dudevideo2000]

I live in Vegas....need I say More?

[Fresia]

Bump it up!

[charles-smythe]

I do not mean to pry or anything, but I was wondering what your situation is like in terms of place of residence. I live in Central PA, and I feel like shooting myself :-( Datingwise, especially if you are gay, not to mention if you are lesbian or bi, this town sucks!!! Not only that. I happen to teach at a major university, and the campus feels as if a bunch of white rosy-cheeked happy heterosexual American undergrads (this is the European in me, sorry ;-) with an obvious contempt for diversity were singing their it-feels-great-to-be-me-you-can-burn-in-hell hymns all over the place.
We have our doses of hate speech on campus every Wednesday, and the school says it is freedom of speech; you wear a human rights campaign sign and people first ask you "what is that?" and when you tell them they are like "oh" and are in a sudden hurry.

And besides, my best friend in the world, my hero, my everything, moved out of town and I feel so lonely without him...

Sorry, I just needed to vent. I still have two more years here and I am counting each and every second. If you are going to say, go out and meet people, forget it, there is NOTHING here. :(

How do you guys deal with living in sucky sucky towns?

Thanks for reading....Dallas...

[cuttin2dachase]

I moved to a fairly affluent suburb of Atlanta last June. This is the only place I've ever lived where I've found it quite easy to meet other men. I regularly peruse Craigslist and several popular adult hookup sites for local men and couples. No luck with couples so far, but I have met more men here in 11 months than I met in the preceding 7 years living in 3 different rural areas which were all within 35 miles of major cities. All the men were very nice and decent and all but 1 of them lives within 10 miles of me. 2 of them have become semi-regular FWBs. I have 4 or 5 other prospects that I chat with regularly and hope to meet sooner or later when one of us can host. I've also attended a male group party/orgy with 8 other men. I am on the invite list for their future parties as well as being on the email list for another group that meets once per month at a nearby upscale hotel. I have yet to attend a hotel party, but I will eventually. I almost feel like a kid in a candy store with all the possibilities for manfun that I now have.

[romer]

hub bub of real estate containing people as in N.J. guess most of the mature gents are wanking in the dark, because they don't seem to be looking for oral relief from willing suckers.
what a waste..................of loads.