So Curious

[DREAMER69]

I am a married man of 8 years now and I am in my forties. For at least the last 10 years, I have fantasized and wanted to explore my sexuality with another man. I have been reading on this forum for a few months now and I have learned a lot from you guys and gals. To be specific, I don't ever think of it in terms of having emotional or romantic homosexual longings, Instead I just want to see and feel what is is like to give a guy the best blow job he has ever had. I am so curious about swallowing. I crave it so bad sometimes I masturbate only thinking of that act. I want to feel what it is like to have a real penis come inside me. (What does that feel like? please comment); I have a relatively meager sex life and my wife does do some anal play with toys and my ass, (she won't allow ANY kind of anal play with her though). She will not swallow me EVER. She has way too many sexual hangups. I love my wife very much and she TOTALLY turns me on. I have told her often that I want to do everything to her and with her (except the 3 PPP's- pee,poop,pain). She is very limited in her sexual desires. She would die if she knew of these other desires that I have. She would NEVER understand. I am coming to realize that I have very few hang ups when it comes to sex. I want to explore so bad. When I picture an encounter it would almost surley have to be with someone in the exact same boat, i.e. married hetero male (who is bi-curious) and simply can no longer stand the idea of ending life without at least trying sex with a guy to see what it is like. When I was 11 or so, I did play around with a male cousin on a couple of camping trips. We played with each others dicks and would suck each others cock and balls. It seemed so natural and innocent at the time. We did not do anything else and we never came or anything like that. somtimes I would rub myself while sucking him and I usually had an orgasm (dry at the time) but that is all it was. This experience never really entered my mind again until recent years. We all went on and grew up to be raging horny guys who were girl crazy and then married and had kids, etc. etc. Why do I want this so bad? Thoughts? Comments? Sorry to be long winded.

[onewhocares]

Let me be the first to welcome you to our site. Glad to hear that you have enjoyed reading all the threads and articles. I can tell you from personal experiance that this is a great place to come if you have questions. Perhaps we may not have all the answers, what we do offer is comfort, support and encouragement. We have been there, done that.

I personally do not think what you are feeling is anything but natural. Most men are just to affraid to act on them. Never be affraid of what you feel, it is a part of you. Part of the man that your wife adores.

Belle

[kitten]

Curiosity did not kill this cat!

Welcome! and enjoy your fantasies and explorations.

Please give your wife time and gently, ever so gently explore with her. She may come around.
My most awful admission is that I was sexually free with myself(very private masturbation) and my fantasies but when it came time to talk about sex, learn about sex, try new things....I WAS quite a prude much to the consternation of my hubby. And after many, many efforts (years passed by),his patience and determination in giving me time to learn - and wham - suddenly a door opened for me and now he can't keep up with me!
:)
that has been my personal experience.

I wish you the best always,

hugs and love,

[xxxcjs]

Nice to know someone is looking for the same things i am . Welcome to hte site and have fun everyone here is really cool and easy to talk to.

[LoveLion]

A tricky situation your in. I recommend a more systematic approach. I suppose you will have to evaluate your options here:

1. (recommended) Try and gradually sway your wife into being more open about your sex life. Start by first getting into her kinkier side, ask her what her fantasies are and if you can help her live them out and then go from there. Hopefully someday she might open up more.

2. Flat out tell your wife you need this. This puts your wife in a hard place as she would be forced to choose between her sexual hang ups/moral views towards homosexuality and her love for you. This one is really a wild card and is a major risk. However the pay off could be just as good as the disaster could be bad.

3. Let the feelings go. It sounds like your in a good marriage and risking that over some sexual desires may nt be the wisest choice. If you know it could ruin your marriage, it may be best just to steer clear of doing anything dangerous. Remember that if you pursue your sexual desires at the expense of your marriage, your trading your entire life(style) for a few urges and satisfactions. And hey, there is always porn, masturbation and fantasies that allow you a bit of our desires (if only in the slightest amount)

4. (not recommended) Pursue your urges behind her back. This is dangerous and could risk the entire marriage, but you have to ask yourself if you can go on through life happily without exploring this side of yourself more, and i it is worth the risk. You should also take into account your own morals (ie lying to your wife) and how much it could hurt her.

These are really all the options I can think of for you at the moment. I think you'll find 1-3 are your better choices over option 4 (by traditional moral standards at least), but I guess that depends on yourself. Think over these options, try and think up some others. In the end weigh all your option carefully and make the best decision for you and your wife. What ever you do, best of luck to you.

[dans94]

LoveLion hits the nail right on the head. I tried #1-#3 for many years with no real improvements. Finally, I went with #4 because it was something I had to explore. I don't recommend it but it's a personal choice for you to make. I found out through my explorations that I really love m/m sex of all kinds and made a couple of great friends.

The trouble is: It takes a toll on your psyche, lying to your wife. My wife found out when she read an email I'd left up on the computer. Was it intentional? I think so. I was at the point where I couldn't live the way I was living any more but wanted both worlds. We went to counseling and learned a lot. We stayed together and the sex life was great for several months, then it went back to the way it was bmms. I haven't been with a guy since she found out about it but am now just about back to the point I was when this all started. I'm not gay, I don't love men the way I love my wife, I'm just sad I can't have it all.
Good luck!


A tricky situation your in. I recommend a more systematic approach. I suppose you will have to evaluate your options here:

1. (recommended) Try and gradually sway your wife into being more open about your sex life. Start by first getting into her kinkier side, ask her what her fantasies are and if you can help her live them out and then go from there. Hopefully someday she might open up more.

2. Flat out tell your wife you need this. This puts your wife in a hard place as she would be forced to choose between her sexual hang ups/moral views towards homosexuality and her love for you. This one is really a wild card and is a major risk. However the pay off could be just as good as the disaster could be bad.

3. Let the feelings go. It sounds like your in a good marriage and risking that over some sexual desires may nt be the wisest choice. If you know it could ruin your marriage, it may be best just to steer clear of doing anything dangerous. Remember that if you pursue your sexual desires at the expense of your marriage, your trading your entire life(style) for a few urges and satisfactions. And hey, there is always porn, masturbation and fantasies that allow you a bit of our desires (if only in the slightest amount)

4. (not recommended) Pursue your urges behind her back. This is dangerous and could risk the entire marriage, but you have to ask yourself if you can go on through life happily without exploring this side of yourself more, and i it is worth the risk. You should also take into account your own morals (ie lying to your wife) and how much it could hurt her.

These are really all the options I can think of for you at the moment. I think you'll find 1-3 are your better choices over option 4 (by traditional moral standards at least), but I guess that depends on yourself. Think over these options, try and think up some others. In the end weigh all your option carefully and make the best decision for you and your wife. What ever you do, best of luck to you.

[cummaster]

I'm in a very similar situation - I've given head once and loved it, the feeling of a hard cock spurting my mouth makes me hard thinking about it.

I have no suggestions, since my wife also has the same hangups, however the last couple of years we've introduced toys and that helps, and lately she's even gotten into snowballing. Her biggest hangup is STD's (I totally agree here), however given an opportunity I wouldn't pass it up.

Good luck, I hope you find a way to fullfill your fantasy!

[redheadhoneycat]

Welcome to the site!! Good luck with your journey and I hope the right words come in to play and openmindedness is what you find.

[shameless agitator]

Welcome Dreamer. I wish I had some advice for you, but honestly I can't imagine what you're going through. I was fortunate enough to finally come out to myself at a time when I wasn't strongly attached to anyone & so it just hasn't really been an issue. I think Love Lion probably summed up your options pretty well & would be inclined to recommend the first, but of course you know your wife better than any of us, so only you can decide what the right thing to do is.

Best of luck to ya

[the mage]

Men accept the fact that sex is play far more easily than women.
Women have had centuries of guilt piled upon them as well as risks.
Separate love and play as concepts in sex.
Try to let her see love as a separate thing from lust, sadly many people can't.

[Azrael]

Men accept the fact that sex is play far more easily than women.
Women have had centuries of guilt piled upon them as well as risks.
Separate love and play as concepts in sex.
Try to let her see love as a separate thing from lust, sadly many people can't.
I beg to differ, respectfully. For me it was a lot more akward then for her. A LOT. This is probably she fucked around on me. Oh well. Free Love? Sure, I'm just not really into casual sex, leaves me feeling cheap and whore-y.
Dreamer, I hope you find the answers you seek.

[rosendo]

I like you honesty and the desire to have the experience. I am in the same situation, similar wife, but she knows that I had a reletionship with men befor we met ( my last sex with men was 23, years ago).








I am a married man of 8 years now and I am in my forties. For at least the last 10 years, I have fantasized and wanted to explore my sexuality with another man. I have been reading on this forum for a few months now and I have learned a lot from you guys and gals. To be specific, I don't ever think of it in terms of having emotional or romantic homosexual longings, Instead I just want to see and feel what is is like to give a guy the best blow job he has ever had. I am so curious about swallowing. I crave it so bad sometimes I masturbate only thinking of that act. I want to feel what it is like to have a real penis come inside me. (What does that feel like? please comment); I have a relatively meager sex life and my wife does do some anal play with toys and my ass, (she won't allow ANY kind of anal play with her though). She will not swallow me EVER. She has way too many sexual hangups. I love my wife very much and she TOTALLY turns me on. I have told her often that I want to do everything to her and with her (except the 3 PPP's- pee,poop,pain). She is very limited in her sexual desires. She would die if she knew of these other desires that I have. She would NEVER understand. I am coming to realize that I have very few hang ups when it comes to sex. I want to explore so bad. When I picture an encounter it would almost surley have to be with someone in the exact same boat, i.e. married hetero male (who is bi-curious) and simply can no longer stand the idea of ending life without at least trying sex with a guy to see what it is like. When I was 11 or so, I did play around with a male cousin on a couple of camping trips. We played with each others dicks and would suck each others cock and balls. It seemed so natural and innocent at the time. We did not do anything else and we never came or anything like that. somtimes I would rub myself while sucking him and I usually had an orgasm (dry at the time) but that is all it was. This experience never really entered my mind again until recent years. We all went on and grew up to be raging horny guys who were girl crazy and then married and had kids, etc. etc. Why do I want this so bad? Thoughts? Comments? Sorry to be long winded.