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biwords
Aug 14, 2007, 3:27 PM
Another site member surprised me the other day by PMing me with a request that I briefly indicate my Philosophy of Life by return PM. I was surprised, and not only because I'm not convinced that I have a life, much less a philosophy of one. I was also a little concerned that anyone in search of such a philosophy would see me as a potential consultant. In fact I'll do my best to reply, disappointed though he may be with the result.

Anyway, while thinking about this I saw that yet another site member who had described herself as 'fiercely devoted' to me in her profile has now silently airbrushed me out of it. So part of my philosophy of life is: it's not easy measuring just how fiercely devoted 'fierce devotion' is, or, to generalize a little more: statements in the emotional realm always implicitly end with the words "until further notice".

Another two-bit philosophical observation of sorts could be extracted from a memory of my highschool days. I was gaga over a girl whom we'll call Leah. Leah liked me, though I couldn't tell whether she Liked Me That Way and was too shy to find out. But we hung out together. If she did Like Me That Way, it couldn't have lasted long, because as time went on she spoke more and more about her fresh infatuation with another student, Graham Eames. Tall, even blonder than Leah (who prided herself on her blondeness), cocky, arrogant -- in a word, irresistible. And, dope that I was, I spent far more time than I should have listening to her rhapsodies and nodding supportively. A few months later she moved away, memorably telling me "I know this sounds awful, but I'm sick of being almost the only blonde Christian girl in a highschool full of Jews". I answered, "Uh, well, Mazl Tov, I guess".

The story would have ended there, except that a few years later I learned that she had actually married Eames, who took a job working for Leah's father. Dad set him up with an office and a secretary. Leah became pregnant. Soon afterwards, Eames decamped with the secretary.

I told my informant something on the order of 'Ah, well, I wouldnt have left her" and she replied "Well, hon, some people just can't tell the difference between diamonds and trash". Which, however flattering, was hardly apt, since I was no diamond, in the rough or otherwise, and I knew Eames well enough to know that he wasn't trash. As we would later say, he 'had issues'; but he wasn't trash.

That said, my profile-rewriting site member is at the point of making certain choices in her life, or perhaps more exactly, of growing more and more comfortable with choices she's already made. I just hope her Spidey sense enables her to distinguish diamonds from trash. It's a useful skill. Ask someone for their Philosophy of Life, and you're likely to hear something as obvious as that.

Skater Boy
Aug 14, 2007, 3:47 PM
So... in other words, learn to recognize "a good thing" when you see it. And also a bad one. A skill worth having, imo.

I'll try and bear it in mind...

Muchas gracias.

Oh, and regarding the "measurement of emotions"... I discussed it recently with another member, with "Love" being the focus of attention. We found it hard to pin down any scale by which such intangible things could be measured accurately.

But I don't doubt that some emotional states are very temporary.

DiamondDog
Aug 14, 2007, 5:32 PM
I don't get it? Is this some inside joke or something?

Skater Boy
Aug 14, 2007, 5:57 PM
I don't get it? Is this some inside joke or something?

I asked Biwords to kindly summarize his "Philosophy Of Life" in a PM. He told me he was going through a rough patch (for one reason or another), and was not feeling so philosophical at the time. This thread was his eventual response, and contains what might be considered as "useful advice" or at least "food for thought".

No inside joke. At least, not within my post/s.

onewhocares
Aug 14, 2007, 7:35 PM
Yes, this is a most personal post. Diamond..." Is it an inside joke", No, cause blonde that I am I would not get it. What I do know is that if you had to pick one of several people on this site to gather a philosophy of life from, I would most assuredly select BIWORDS, Kate, Used Bear, Volty,Flex amoung others. I think that no one could actually give you definative direction, only YOU can make the selection of where you wish to go. But others may share their experiance can give examples of how you might choose to live.

Belle

biwords
Aug 14, 2007, 9:11 PM
Oh, and regarding the "measurement of emotions"... I discussed it recently with another member, with "Love" being the focus of attention. We found it hard to pin down any scale by which such intangible things could be measured accurately. But I don't doubt that some emotional states are very temporary.

Well, you see, you're half my age and you've already figured that out. You should be the one sending me your philosophy of life, not the other way 'round. In fact, please do.

Other 'philosophical' tidbits I believe in, however trite they may seem:

Life is war, and to understand war is to understand life.

"My life has been a series of horrible disasters, most of which have never happened" -- Michel de Montaigne

Sour, lingering hatred is a terrible thing, but honest anger isn't and needn't be apologized for.

Try to see the best in people, especially in those who have disappointed you or treated you poorly; and not so much for their sake as for yours.

One doesn't have to have an opinion on every subject (I have to remind myself of this one regularly).

What we say and do today lasts forever.

onewhocares
Aug 14, 2007, 9:36 PM
"What we say and do today, lasts forever".......oh my...no words have a more true and meaniful interpretation than those. Granted, BIWORD, I may be of the same generation as you, but you are certainly far superior in your understanding of life. Learning from all of those around us gives us a greater grasp on life.


Belle

ghytifrdnr
Aug 14, 2007, 11:32 PM
Just a thought, Biwords, but you might be able to avoid future requests like that by filling out your online profile.
:rolleyes:

kitten
Aug 14, 2007, 11:53 PM
Biwords - the man we count on to give us the most fitting word or description to express what we need to say.
An excellent man to discuss philosphy with at any time.


Another thought - that any loss makes for grief in your heart and anger in your soul. Time will heal those wounds but the scars last as a reminder of what we have endured.
There are diamonds and there is trash and sometimes they are one and the same depending upon the perspective of the observer.
Maintaining balance whether it is over a period of a day or a year or a lifetime is my key to sanity and peace within.


just my :2cents:

Skater Boy
Aug 15, 2007, 7:07 AM
Thanks guys... this has been a valuable thread, imo.

Interesting comments on "war" Biwords... I'll have to re-read my Clausewitz and Sun Tzu... although I find military-themed books depressing in some ways. Make Love Not War...

Ninon de Lenclos was also influenced by De Montaigne, and at first glance, I find her Epicurean philosophies quite appealing.

As for MY "Philosophy Of Life"... I simply haven't lived (or loved) enough yet to comment on the world. I've learned a few lessons the hard way, and done a bit of homework, but I still consider one of my greatest pearls of wisdom to be that I am aware that I know very, very little.

But I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't at least attempt to learn from those who have seen and felt so much more than I have. Here's hoping that I don't have to go through life learning ALL my lessons the hard way.

Thanks to all who contributed to this thread. :)

onewhocares
Aug 15, 2007, 8:20 PM
Another thought - that any loss makes for grief in your heart and anger in your soul. Time will heal those wounds but the scars last as a reminder of what we have endured.




Kitten, yet another profound comment. No wonder why everyone waits on the edge of their seat for your words of wisdom. Yes, I do agree with your comments, but also think that loss, loss of life, loss of friendship, loss of faith, loss of spirit can make one angry. But they can also fill your heart with love, hope, longing and the drive to make peace within ourselves. For me, one of the greatest losses was losing a lover, a kind, considerate man who opened a new world to me. I was given so much, much that I never knew was missing. But fate took him from me, and I was the very one who helped open the doors to his own new world, one which as a lover I can no longer be part of. Sad and selfish as I was....that resentment changed almost instantly when I knew I gave him a glimmer into a new life, one he has been dreaming of. THAT, I have found out the hard way is the real challenge in life. To let the one you love fly free and know that you have given him wings. And Yes....as the adage says....he has come back a most beautiful butterfly.

Belle

kitten
Aug 15, 2007, 10:05 PM
Dear Belle,

Thank you for your kind words.
What beautiful experience you have shared with us. Thank you for that as well. I believe in the butterfly adage but never experienced with a lover.
Deep sigh...


hugs and love,

coyotedude
Aug 16, 2007, 2:45 AM
Well, my friend, I will say I find you to be one of the more intriguing folks in our little community. (And given the number of intriguing folks here, that's quite an accomplishment!)

Peace

Doggie_Wood
Aug 16, 2007, 6:41 AM
Belle - "One doesn't have to have an opinion on every subject (I have to remind myself of this one regularly)."

How true, and one that I remind myself of as well. I have found that some times, really many times, I must keep my thoughts and words to myself in order to gather the information and facts in which to form an educated opinion in lue of an opinion of myth, untruth or conjure. :2cents:

:doggie:

jamiehue
Aug 16, 2007, 7:04 AM
the first i laid eyes on bush (ya know the prez) i thought he looks like a asshole.

darkeyes
Aug 16, 2007, 9:01 AM
Dunno if its a philosophy..but I love 2 live. Life is 2 b lived..not endured..so me dus!!!