parkwings
Aug 3, 2007, 11:39 PM
Hi everyone. My relationship with a straight female has recently ended. It was mostly due to my bisexuality/gayness,whatever u wanna call it.
We were together for over 3 1/4 years, so I'm obviously upset about it.
However, I also feel a sense of relief too, because I know I was hurting her with my non-commital nature. She knew I was bi from the start, but was only comfortable with me masterbating/watching video about men, NOT really doing anything with them.
That was one of the major stumbling blocks for me; the expectation to never have sex with men(fidelity).... for the duration of our relationship. I just could'nt honestly say I could do that. I think that created a continuous, mild anxiety/guilt for me, which contributed to my starting to feel trapped, &unhappy. I don't want this to appear as if I am blaming her in any way, I do not, she is a fantastic lady. She was very undertanding with me, alot more than most straight women would be.
We decided to take a break, perhaps permanent. She is still young(32) so there is time for her to meet other men that may not be as complex as me.
Now that we've been apart for about a week, I've been masterbating mostly about men, with no guilt! That part feels good. I always felt somewhat wierd when we were together and I would frequently masterbate about men, and then she would come home shortly thereafter.
Now I'm just single, collecting my thoughts. I'm 39yrs old, and am getting sick of my own crap, of sorts. I'm a nice guy and do not want to put another person thru the anguish my current ex is going thru.
The only solution I can think of is to date a very open-minded straight or bi female that would accept me having a male lover, or just date men. What elso can a bi guy do? Cheating does not fit into my values, so it's not an option for me, I like to sleep at night.
We were together for over 3 1/4 years, so I'm obviously upset about it.
However, I also feel a sense of relief too, because I know I was hurting her with my non-commital nature. She knew I was bi from the start, but was only comfortable with me masterbating/watching video about men, NOT really doing anything with them.
That was one of the major stumbling blocks for me; the expectation to never have sex with men(fidelity).... for the duration of our relationship. I just could'nt honestly say I could do that. I think that created a continuous, mild anxiety/guilt for me, which contributed to my starting to feel trapped, &unhappy. I don't want this to appear as if I am blaming her in any way, I do not, she is a fantastic lady. She was very undertanding with me, alot more than most straight women would be.
We decided to take a break, perhaps permanent. She is still young(32) so there is time for her to meet other men that may not be as complex as me.
Now that we've been apart for about a week, I've been masterbating mostly about men, with no guilt! That part feels good. I always felt somewhat wierd when we were together and I would frequently masterbate about men, and then she would come home shortly thereafter.
Now I'm just single, collecting my thoughts. I'm 39yrs old, and am getting sick of my own crap, of sorts. I'm a nice guy and do not want to put another person thru the anguish my current ex is going thru.
The only solution I can think of is to date a very open-minded straight or bi female that would accept me having a male lover, or just date men. What elso can a bi guy do? Cheating does not fit into my values, so it's not an option for me, I like to sleep at night.