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parkwings
Aug 3, 2007, 11:39 PM
Hi everyone. My relationship with a straight female has recently ended. It was mostly due to my bisexuality/gayness,whatever u wanna call it.

We were together for over 3 1/4 years, so I'm obviously upset about it.

However, I also feel a sense of relief too, because I know I was hurting her with my non-commital nature. She knew I was bi from the start, but was only comfortable with me masterbating/watching video about men, NOT really doing anything with them.

That was one of the major stumbling blocks for me; the expectation to never have sex with men(fidelity).... for the duration of our relationship. I just could'nt honestly say I could do that. I think that created a continuous, mild anxiety/guilt for me, which contributed to my starting to feel trapped, &unhappy. I don't want this to appear as if I am blaming her in any way, I do not, she is a fantastic lady. She was very undertanding with me, alot more than most straight women would be.
We decided to take a break, perhaps permanent. She is still young(32) so there is time for her to meet other men that may not be as complex as me.

Now that we've been apart for about a week, I've been masterbating mostly about men, with no guilt! That part feels good. I always felt somewhat wierd when we were together and I would frequently masterbate about men, and then she would come home shortly thereafter.

Now I'm just single, collecting my thoughts. I'm 39yrs old, and am getting sick of my own crap, of sorts. I'm a nice guy and do not want to put another person thru the anguish my current ex is going thru.

The only solution I can think of is to date a very open-minded straight or bi female that would accept me having a male lover, or just date men. What elso can a bi guy do? Cheating does not fit into my values, so it's not an option for me, I like to sleep at night.

kitten
Aug 4, 2007, 7:54 AM
I am sorry for your pain as you face these changes in your life.
It is a great opportunity to gain new experiences and learn more about yourself at your pace. Take your time and enjoy life without constraints and the rest will come to you.

Best wishes!

quiet1fornow
Aug 4, 2007, 12:46 PM
I believe kitten is right on target.....I am sorry for your pain also; use this opportunity to discover you and what you want and if you are comfortable with that the relationship/friendships will build from that strong platform.

onewhocares
Aug 4, 2007, 1:46 PM
I am in agreement with the two most insightful people above me. The have grasped the nature of my comment. The pain is most difficult at this moment. For that I send you two arms which embrace you in a hug. But also, I think that with your insight into know what kind of you may wish to date in the future, you can take this time to be a learning experiance for you, for YOU to grow and develope into the person you wish to become. All the best.

Belle

parkwings
Aug 5, 2007, 2:32 AM
Thank-you all for your insightful, encouraging comments.

rmorti
Aug 5, 2007, 1:07 PM
I know what you mean mate, Im with a girl at the moment although shes an ex and were just being f*ck buddys, and when I see her sometimes I cant help but feel anxious/guilty because I know I have curiosity lying with the opposite sex.
I haven't fully told her yet and may need to soon but it just bugs you, some days its all gravey, and others I just can't stand it to be honest. Some days I want her so badly and wanna do things with her others I just dont want either sex etc.
Prefer straight porn myself but I know theres some form of facination with me in the same sex and I will need to explore at some point before I explode.
I really find it a turn on the idea of being with two different sexes sorta at different times, so having a G/f and a male f*ck buddy, be great but still waiting to see if I want to make a move.
Sorry to hear about your end I know exactly how u mean with anxiety and guilt and im only having sex with the girl! a whole relationship must of been stressful! all the best and enjoy the freedom of exploration

DiamondDog
Aug 5, 2007, 9:57 PM
go into a frenzy, go wild, and go on a sex spree with men!

That's what I'd do if I were you and kinda what I did, and I dunno how you went 39 years without having sex with any men at all?

LOL perhaps I am speaking about myself though and my need/craving for relationships/sex/romance/love with men and I would have gone crazy if I'd went that long, or if I could never have sex/romance/intimacy/love with a man ever again how I'd cheat.

Indulge in everything you want to leathersex, bondage, SM, fisting, anal sex, oral sex (includes kissing), and whatever else you want to do!

parkwings
Aug 6, 2007, 1:47 AM
diamonddog, I had'nt gone 39 yrs without male sex, just the past 3 1/4 yrs..before that I had men!

Maybe my writing and grammar sucks...

naughty'BI'chick
Aug 6, 2007, 10:46 PM
I am truely sorry for ur pain.
I'm not going through a break-up, but I am close to one.
One thing u should be glad for, at least, is that she did understand.