filling in the missing gender.

[DiamondDog]

Here's a quote from an article written by a bisexual woman:


when I am with a woman I fantasize about having sex with a man, and when I am with a man I fantasize about women; this is my body’s way of creating balance.

full article here: http://advocate.com/currentstory1_w.asp?id=22148

Does what she described happen for anyone here?

[Long Duck Dong]

roflmao.... body creating balance ??? horse shit

the body has no ability to balance out sexual desire and need.....lol its the human mind that knows the nature of the want and need.....cos it have the ability to work out the reasoning behind the want and need..

go and buy a cheeseburger at the local mc donalds and see if your body tells you that it wants a medium coke, large fries and a sundae with the cheese burger ....lol or if your mind tells you that its what you desire

as for the true bisexual aspect... the term *true bisexual* refers to a equal natured bisexual that DOESN'T have a dominant nature ( like hetero or gay )

a hetero bisexual...is attracted heart/ mind and body to the opposite body and body to the same sex ( ie a male bisexual that is married to a female but desires MM sex contact occasionally )

a gay bisexual .... is attracted heart / mind and body to the same sex and body to the opposite sex ( ie a male bisexual that is in a relationship with a male but desires M/F sexual contact occasionally )

a *true * bisexual ( such as the author professes to be ) are attracted to both sexes on all levels but when one part is pleased, the other part throws a tantrum......
hence the author lays with a female and then craves a male..... or lays with a male and then craves a female..... but if she lays with them both, she goes into meltdown cos her bisexuality nature becomes unstable and not balanced

* true * bisexuals can be in a relationship with either sex, BUT they never truely become hetero / bi or gay / bi natured... and remain dual bi natured and trying to achieve the impossible balance lol

[kitten]

Hmmmmm....
sounds like she is still searching to accept herself maybe?

I think she is talking more about relationships rather than sexual encounters and that when she is in a relationship with one she wants the other to keep balance in the big picture. Well, yeah! But, by fluctuating around with relationships I can see why she feels out of balance. She doesn't have both at the same time.
I have one main committment for life and other relationships that enhance. I do not hide this fact from anyone that I am fortunate to have in a relationship. Each person has their own special quality that connects with something in me and we grow together in some way.

Good thread!

[dafydd]

roflmao.... body creating balance ??? horse shit

the body has no ability to balance out sexual desire and need.....lol its the human mind that knows the nature of the want and need.....cos it have the ability to work out the reasoning behind the want and need..

go and buy a cheeseburger at the local mc donalds and see if your body tells you that it wants a medium coke, large fries and a sundae with the cheese burger ....lol or if your mind tells you that its what you desire

as for the true bisexual aspect... the term *true bisexual* refers to a equal natured bisexual that DOESN'T have a dominant nature ( like hetero or gay )

a hetero bisexual...is attracted heart/ mind and body to the opposite body and body to the same sex ( ie a male bisexual that is married to a female but desires MM sex contact occasionally )

a gay bisexual .... is attracted heart / mind and body to the same sex and body to the opposite sex ( ie a male bisexual that is in a relationship with a male but desires M/F sexual contact occasionally )

a *true * bisexual ( such as the author professes to be ) are attracted to both sexes on all levels but when one part is pleased, the other part throws a tantrum......
hence the author lays with a female and then craves a male..... or lays with a male and then craves a female..... but if she lays with them both, she goes into meltdown cos her bisexuality nature becomes unstable and not balanced

* true * bisexuals can be in a relationship with either sex, BUT they never truely become hetero / bi or gay / bi natured... and remain dual bi natured and trying to achieve the impossible balance lol

Sorry LDD but I disagree with some of your labels. I would prefer just using the term bi, to cover the multitude of complexities involved in same-sex/opposite sex attraction.
For instance there are times in my life when I have *not* been sexually attracted men, and have only been sexually and emotionally atttracted to women. As I grew older for the most part I was sexually and emotionally attracted to men. And now as I approach 30, I find myself becoming sexually attracted to women again (but not emotionally so).
Your deinitions of true/hetero/gay bisexuals are too rigid. I don't believe these labels work. What kind of bisexual am I?
I cannot be a 'true' bisexual because I am not attracted to both sexes on all levels.
I am not a 'hetero' bisexual because I am not attracted to women emotionally.
I guess I am a 'gay' bisexual. But then again there have been times when I have not connected emotionally with my male partners and spend a lot of my time around women.
Anyway , why dissect it down to this?

Wow you made me analyse myself way too early in the morning with a bad hangover....that's what my ex used to do :cool:

d :bipride:

[Long Duck Dong]

lol dafydd, its internal, not external

the difference between internal and external is this :
internal= feelings, emotions and thoughts ( fantasises, desires, wants and needs )

external= interaction ( partners, sexual partners, sexual encounters )

the reason why I referred to marriage, is that most hetero / gay bisexuals... have a stronger preferences towards one sexuality, BUT they are still bisexual
the preference however, doesn't change over life.... they are the bisexuals MORE likely to be able to marry and semi settle

what you are describing ( in yourself ) is a fuild bisexual.... a person whose sexual / emotional / mental preferences shift and change.. and that accounts for about 95 % of bisexuals
fuild sexuality is actually the more correct term... they are the bisexuals more likely to have a * mid life crisis * and realise that their relationships and / or marriage are no longer working in the way it used to

*true * bisexuals ( i hate that term ) are rigid bisexuals....their preferences don't change but stay equal.......the moment they interact with people in a close manner, they off set their internal balance... hence the bisexual is with a male but craves the female touch, and the moment that they stop close contact with the male, the cravings disappear
they are the bisexuals most likely to struggle to hold any relationship together or to be able to settle

lol its just a way of showing how bisexuals are individually unique under the umbrella of bisexuality
its the same with gay males, not all of them butt fuck or suck cocks, but they are still gay males

[Lisa (va)]

The trouble with labels is that they just to seem to fit everyone. I have no problems with the term bisexual, as it's the simplest way to explain my sexuality. Plain and simple, I don't have cravings to have both in my life at one given time, I want to be with my love whether it's a male or female. Falling and being in love comes from the heart, it's not a function of what is in your pants.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[dafydd]

The trouble with labels is that they just to seem to fit everyone. I have no problems with the term bisexual, as it's the simplest way to explain my sexuality. Plain and simple, I don't have cravings to have both in my life at one given time, I want to be with my love whether it's a male or female. Falling and being in love comes from the heart, it's not a function of what is in your pants.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

I think it's rather a balance of the two. I could never fall in love with someone I wasn't sexually compatible with. They don't call sex 'making love' for nothing.

d

[Skater Boy]

I think it's rather a balance of the two. I could never fall in love with someone I wasn't sexually compatible with. They don't call sex 'making love' for nothing.

d

An interesting thing. I am quite the opposite... I usually never fall in love with people whom I find sexually attractive. But then we get into the whole complicated mess of what "love" actually is and how its defined. But to me, sex is something "dirty". Its LUST, not LOVE. And I find that I usually lust after people who are perhaps not my mental/emotional ideal, and perhaps not even compatible with me on an inter-personal level.

I think my ideal person would probably be sexually attractive (at least in the sense general society uses the term), but tbh its more his/her "soul" that I would be attracted to, if I was going to have them as a long-term partner.

:2cents:

[DiamondDog]

*true * bisexuals ( i hate that term ) are rigid bisexuals....their preferences don't change but stay equal.......the moment they interact with people in a close manner, they off set their internal balance... hence the bisexual is with a male but craves the female touch, and the moment that they stop close contact with the male, the cravings disappear
they are the bisexuals most likely to struggle to hold any relationship together or to be able to settle

So would a "true" bisexual, (such as the author of the essay I quoted from) fantasize about the opposite gender of the one that they are having sex with?

Like they're having sex with a man and they get aroused by their male partner and know that they're having sex with a guy and they'll fantasize about the opposite gender of their partner, or their male partner and a woman at the same time?

[dafydd]

An interesting thing. I am quite the opposite... I usually never fall in love with people whom I find sexually attractive. But then we get into the whole complicated mess of what "love" actually is and how its defined. But to me, sex is something "dirty". Its LUST, not LOVE. And I find that I usually lust after people who are perhaps not my mental/emotional ideal, and perhaps not even compatible with me on an inter-personal level.

I think my ideal person would probably be sexually attractive (at least in the sense general society uses the term), but tbh its more his/her "soul" that I would be attracted to, if I was going to have them as a long-term partner.

:2cents:

Interesting Skater Boy. I used to think like you. Would always make the distinction between love and lust, but I have tried several unsuccessful relationships in which there was a lot of love and very little lust and they all failed. I'm sure in the end you fall out of lust with your partner, but in the beginning I think it's gotta be pretty important.
Having said that, my most attractive boyfriend proved quite humourless, although I still regret dumping him.
Like I said before it's a balance.
d

[Skater Boy]

Interesting Skater Boy. I used to think like you. Would always make the distinction between love and lust, but I have tried several unsuccessful relationships in which there was a lot of love and very little lust and they all failed. I'm sure in the end you fall out of lust with your partner, but in the beginning I think it's gotta be pretty important.
Having said that, my most attractive boyfriend proved quite humourless, although I still regret dumping him.
Like I said before it's a balance.
d

Yup, agreed, Dave. JoyJoy has already lectured me (in a nice way) about leaving "lust" out of the equation, and I can see how it might cause difficulties. Balance, as you say, is probably the answer.

[dafydd]

Yup, agreed, Dave. JoyJoy has already lectured me (in a nice way) about leaving "lust" out of the equation, and I can see how it might cause difficulties. Balance, as you say, is probably the answer.

Ok so all I gotta do now is find some love and tip the scales.

:rolleyes:
d

[Skater Boy]

Ok so all I gotta do now is find some love and tip the scales.


I guess "mutual lust" is as good a starting place for a relationship as any... its something you and your partner would have in common, and you'll probably find that "love" (or something similar) follows from it under the right circumstances. As long as you lust after the right sort of person, that is...

[the sacred night]

Here's a quote from an article written by a bisexual woman:



full article here: http://advocate.com/currentstory1_w.asp?id=22148

Does what she described happen for anyone here?

Sometimes. I've only been with a man, and I frequently fantasized about women during sex with him, and though I haven't actually been with a woman, I think it would work the same way. Usually, I'm in the mood for one sex or the other, not both, but sometimes I'll start out fantasizing about one and gradually migrate to the other by the time I'm done.

Also, a minor note on the categories of bisexuals mentioned above by others: What if you're attracted emotionally to both sexes but only to one physically? The categories only seemed to take into account people who are attracted to both in both ways or people who are physically attracted to both and only emotionally attracted to one. What if you're physically attracted to both but emotionally to neither? What if you're emotionally attracted to both and physically attracted to neither?

[someotherguy]

The missing link was of the missing gender. That is how it went missing. Bisexuality as the art of being not what you are, not into what you're doing, not with whomever you're doing or who is doing you. The triumph of imagination over circumstance. She fantasizes about men when with women and women when with men. She needs to take lovers who better captivate her imagination so it need not stray looking for Big Foot, no matter how delicious are the fleeting glimpses through dark underbrush. I recommend some time in Scotland by Loch Ness.

[Long Duck Dong]

lol sacred...... if order to truly understand the full range of bisexuality, a person have to be totally ready to touch all the * sides * of sexuality

I will try this as a diagram


---------------------------male only gay or hetero---------------------------

---------------------------gay bisexual---------------------------------

anti male, lesbian--------bisexual-----------------------anti female, gay

---------------------------lesbian bisexual-------------------------------------

----------------------------female only lesbian / hetero----------------------


now thats a bloody rough guide.....but that excludes the mind/ emotion/ physical range of attractions


you now need to factor in the full mind/ heart and body attractions to each sex, and both sexes

then add in the people that may be bisexual and ONLY attracted to gay people or straight people, but not bi people etc

its mainly why no true study of the bisexual people has ever been done
we are not * vanilla * like hetero, gay people and a fuckin sight harder to factor in all the combinations to bisexuality

I think its about 18 different combinations to a hetero and a gay... but 180,000 for bisexuals

[DiamondDog]

The missing link was of the missing gender. That is how it went missing. Bisexuality as the art of being not what you are, not into what you're doing, not with whomever you're doing or who is doing you. The triumph of imagination over circumstance. She fantasizes about men when with women and women when with men. She needs to take lovers who better captivate her imagination so it need not stray looking for Big Foot, no matter how delicious are the fleeting glimpses through dark underbrush. I recommend some time in Scotland by Loch Ness.

Don't most people fantasize when they have sex?

Nothing wrong with this as it's common among people of all genders/orientations.

Anyway what if she fantasises about trans/intersex/genderqueer people who don't identify as or aren't "man" or "woman"?

LDD can you please answer my question?

[dafydd]

lol sacred...... if order to truly understand the full range of bisexuality, a person have to be totally ready to touch all the * sides * of sexuality

I will try this as a diagram


---------------------------male only gay or hetero---------------------------

---------------------------gay bisexual---------------------------------

anti male, lesbian--------bisexual-----------------------anti female, gay

---------------------------lesbian bisexual-------------------------------------

----------------------------female only lesbian / hetero----------------------


now thats a bloody rough guide.....but that excludes the mind/ emotion/ physical range of attractions


you now need to factor in the full mind/ heart and body attractions to each sex, and both sexes

then add in the people that may be bisexual and ONLY attracted to gay people or straight people, but not bi people etc

its mainly why no true study of the bisexual people has ever been done
we are not * vanilla * like hetero, gay people and a fuckin sight harder to factor in all the combinations to bisexuality

I think its about 18 different combinations to a hetero and a gay... but 180,000 for bisexuals

Gosh how scientific. LDD I don't think bi people are in any more ways more complex sexually/relationship wise or whatever than heterosexuals or people who are gay. I don't understand your use of the word vanilla. I get the impression from this thread that you are putting bisexuals on a bit of a pedastool. This whole 180,000 combination business...well quite frankly LDD i think it's nonsense. I don't think it is helpful to put people into pens.

regards

d

[CountryLover]

Call me unimaginative but I rarely fantasize, with or without a partner. I'm into touch rather than cerebral, and that might be why I arouse and reach orgasm easily. I dunno, just speculating!

I'm bisexual on the hetero side. I mate hetero, need the physical and emotional connection with a man. However - for whatever reason, be it moon phases, hormones, emotional needs, whatever - occasionally I *DEEPLY* hunger for the touch/taste of that one special woman. I have found that having a dear open nonsexual friendship with her helps curb the sexual drive, so there must be emotional needs met there too.

I didn't read the article, but the discussion has really interested me. I believe that sexuality is so fluid, especially among us bisexuals, that's it's really difficult to force us into catagories or boxes without understanding that the walls have to be flexible!

[Long Duck Dong]

lol diamond, it depends on the person....

but its not so much fantasy, over want and desire

shes saying that she wants the emotional. mental and physical experience of the female....at times, when she is with a guy.....and vice versa but she is not saying that she wants another female in the bed....( threesome )... she just wants to be made love to, by another female, which fantasising is not gonna change

a fantasy is imagining its johnny depp sucking your cock instead of peewee herman.....but its still a male sucking your cock....

I used a self hypnotherapy technique called the illusion effect.....

it simply works by turning ME into a different person, so I become a lesbian, a gay, a hetero, a trans making love with a lesbian, gay, trans, hetero etc, and my body, heart and mind reacted to the illusion as if it was 100% true

the danger with that, was when i ended the illusion, my mind and heart went nuts cos it had accepted a lie and it had reacted and craved more....mainly because I had fooled my mind, body and heart, where as a fantasy is only fooling the body and part of the mind

the illusion effect, is so realistic that a male can percieve themselves as having a pussy and being fucking by a pre op trans, when in fact their partner is a female, riding the males cock....
but the body and mind and heart, understand the the male is being fucked hard in the pussy by a stiff cock and react as if it was actually happening

[Long Duck Dong]

Gosh how scientific. LDD I don't think bi people are in any more ways more complex sexually/relationship wise or whatever than heterosexuals or people who are gay. I don't understand your use of the word vanilla. I get the impression from this thread that you are putting bisexuals on a bit of a pedastool. This whole 180,000 combination business...well quite frankly LDD i think it's nonsense. I don't think it is helpful to put people into pens.

regards

d

roflmao... no we are not any more complex than heteros or gays... but the way we live our lives, IS

sadly i was not in the mood or the frame of mind to type out the 327 page guide to sex and sexuality that sits on my shelf, that better explains just how shallow the understanding of LGBT relationships and interaction truly is, and just how wide ranged it truly is.....

as for the pedestal..... *snorts * we are no different to the rest of the human race, we are not * special people * we are simply and bluntly bisexual, but our nature gives us a wider range of options, it doesn't make us any better or worse than the rest of the human race.....

heteros have the opposite sex.... gays have the same sex.... bisexuals can have the same sex, opposite sex, or both sexes....hence the variance of relationships for bisexuals is far greater than the range of heteros and gays...

the term * vanilla * was implied to show the nature of the hetero ( M/F ) and the gay ( F/F or M/M ) v's the bisexual ( M/M, F/F, F/M/M, F/F/M )

[dafydd]

as for the pedestal..... *snorts * we are no different to the rest of the human race, we are not * special people * we are simply and bluntly bisexual, but our nature gives us a wider range of options, it doesn't make us any better or worse than the rest of the human race.....

heteros have the opposite sex.... gays have the same sex.... bisexuals can have the same sex, opposite sex, or both sexes....hence the variance of relationships for bisexuals is far greater than the range of heteros and gays...


Sorry still don't agree. I have met groups of men that are so vastly different from each other and groups of women who are opposite ends, these compare to some of my mixed circles of men and women where the men and women could practically be twins in terms of their outlooks on life/personalities/likes dislikes etc.
I don't believe that just because bisexuals can have men and women it opens them up to anymore range of experience in terms of relationships and sprituality, neither do I agree that being bisexual means you face double the choice or double the chance of being cheated on. It's quite a cliche.
We don't live our lives with everybody in the world every day. In a room full of gay men who only want to sleep with gay men, who would have double the chance....a gay man, or a bisexual? see what I'm getting at...but perhaps that's off the point.

thanks LDD.
best
d

[DiamondDog]

Long Duck:
What exactly is a "true" bisexual? I've been told that it's someone who can have sex and fall in love with both men and women.

Would a "true" bisexual, (such as the author of the essay I quoted from) fantasize about the opposite gender of the one that they are having sex with?

Like they're having sex with a man and they get aroused by their male partner and know that they're having sex with a guy and they'll fantasize about the opposite gender of their partner, or their male partner and a woman at the same time?

[justafriend]

Oh, what a ripe subject. I understand what Kathryn is talking about. I don't fantasize about one when I'm with the other but I almost feel myself being pulled in opposite directions sometimes. Not during sex though. Not sure about all the situations Sacred Night describes but situations like this do occur. For instance I am physically attracted to both but only get emotionally attached to women.

[DiamondDog]

In a room full of gay men who only want to sleep with gay men, who would have double the chance....a gay man, or a bisexual? see what I'm getting at...but perhaps that's off the point.

That's a bizzare way of thinking.

Lots of bisexuals (like myself) can easily pass as being "gay" in male space, and don't care if people think that we're homosexual.

I also know lots of bisexual men who stay closeted about their true sexuality and when questioned by gay men they'll just say that they're gay since homosexual men don't really grasp, understand, and often feel threatened by sexuality that isn't gay or straight.

Of course I'm also VERY picky in who I'll sleep with.

I'll see tons of men and women and the ones who I'd just sleep with are a very small number.

Even smaller is the number of men who I'd consider having a relationship with (men who are available, my type, and who are predominantly monogamous/LTR oriented) but it's nowhere near as small as the number of women I'd consider having a relationship with.

[dafydd]

That's a bizzare way of thinking.

Lots of bisexuals (like myself) can easily pass as being "gay" in male space, and don't care if people think that we're homosexual.

Of course I'm also VERY picky in who I'll sleep with.

I'll see tons of men and women and the ones who I'd just sleep with are a very small number.

Even smaller is the number of men who I'd actually consider having a relationship with but it's nowhere near as small as the number of women I'd consider having a relationship with.

i should have clarified then not just in terms of sex but a relationship. I think there are gay guys out there who would not want to date a bisexual. ultimately no matter how much they can pass, a bisexual who was more into women than you yourself have previously stated DD, might face obstacles in dating a gay bloke.
On the flip side I know some gay guys that find bisexual men a turn on.
I suppose what I was trying to say, perhaps clumsily was that just because you're bisexual doesn't mean you have more 'choic'. People assume bisexual people have 'more choice', but my point was that men are so different from each other, that a gay guy who mixes in very wide social circles would have more 'choice' than a bi guy who hangs out perhaps with a small core group of friends. It's not about your sexuality that gives you 'more choice', but perhaps about who you're meeting and where.
ok that makes more sense now.


d

[Long Duck Dong]

ok dafydd, try this

hetero... person that goes for the opposite sex
gay / les... person that goes for the same sex
bisexual.....person that CAN go for both sexes

hetero can go one direction
gay/les can go one direction
bisexual can go two directions

now unless the counselling and therapy community are all wrong

heteros can experience relations / sex with one sex
gay / les can experience relations / sex with one sex
bisexuals can experience relations / sex with both sexes

hence bisexuals can have a broader range of experience as they are NOT confined to the single sex, but they may have a choice of both sexes

you are trying to confine it to individuals, I am not.... I am referring to a loose and broad over view of the possiblities

now I am bisexual, celibate and reclusive, but being bisexual I have the ability to meet and get close to both sexes, and that is still more options for experience than a person that is hetero or gay/les, and that may go out every night to meet people....... if they are true to their sexuality, the hetero will never know the experience of being with the same sex, and the gay /les will not know what it is like to go with the opposite sex

now before you try to argue that with the * what about a person that have changed their sexuality mid life*....... I am using clear lines surrounding people that don't change their sexuality mid way thru life.....
a person that changes their sexuality mid life, comes under the heading of a person that has experienced the bisexual range of life, regardless of the sexuality label that they may use

a male that was hetero and now gay or vice versa, has experienced both sexes, hence experiences of a bisexual nature

a female that was hetero and now les, or vice versa, has experienced both sexes, hence experiences of a bisexual nature

a male that is hetero / gay FOR life and never had a gay / straight experience, has NOT experienced both sexes, hence no experience of a bisexual nature

a female that is hetero / les FOR life and never had a gay / straight experience, has NOT experienced both sexes, hence no experience of a bisexual nature

now try and tell me that bisexuals don't have the chance to experience a wider range of experiences

[someotherguy]

Who you are attracted to has nothing at all to do with who you can have sex with. Being bisexual just means you can be frustrated by anyone no matter their gender. Dr. Ruth says sex is mostly in the mind anyway. I know in my case that is the only place it happens. (In my mind, not at Dr. Ruth's.) Fantasy is probably more important to sex than actual contact. Bisexuals would fantasize bisexually, inspired by their fluid gender identity and various appetites. Gays and straights also have weird fantasies but we don't care about those.

[Long Duck Dong]

lol DD... a * true * bisexual

ok, remove the sexual contact and relationships aspect, that has NOTHING to do with being a * true * bisexual

a person that is true bisexual in nature, has both a masculine and feminine side... like all people..... but the masculine and feminine sides are equal, well defined and both are part of the same personality


if you think of a intersex ( hermaphrodite is a better defination ) person as a person have dual sex organs..... a true bisexual have the mental and emotions traits of both sexes

true bisexual natured people can be hetero / gay / les / trans or bisexual....
they don't have to be bisexual externally ( sexual interaction/ relationships )


unlike people with spilt personalities, true bisexuals have only one personality, but that personality can shift thru the spectrum of masculine and feminine traits and reactions in any situation. often showing traits of both sides at the same time

the interesting aspect is that during brain scans and other shit, it have been noted that true bisexual natured people do show that they think, feel and react with the parts of the brain that are uniquely male or female, at the same time.....and indeed, show dual traits, at the same time

[dafydd]

ok dafydd, try this

hetero... person that goes for the opposite sex
gay / les... person that goes for the same sex
bisexual.....person that CAN go for both sexes

hetero can go one direction
gay/les can go one direction
bisexual can go two directions

now unless the counselling and therapy community are all wrong

heteros can experience relations / sex with one sex
gay / les can experience relations / sex with one sex
bisexuals can experience relations / sex with both sexes

hence bisexuals can have a broader range of experience as they are NOT confined to the single sex, but they may have a choice of both sexes


A broader range of experience in terms of being able to play with a man and a woman's body - theoretically yes, but I would bet that most of the gay men I know have has a broader range of experience in terms of sexuality/relationships etc. than some of the bisexuals I know.
All I am saying is that it is a cliche if someone makes a blanket statement that says bisexuals have more choice.
Perhaps we're just arguing semantics. Your idea makes sense by definition, I am just coming to this view based on personal and immediate experience. I suppose there we have to differ. Perhaps you have a more algebraic (please don't take that the wrong way) view of sexuality, and find comfort in terms and labels e.g. AxB= AB AxA = AA BxB = BB etc (which is fine) whereas I prefer to remain happy in my understanding of sexuality as unique to the individual e.g slip and slide, never say never, Gay as an identity & a sexuality etc. Which is what you pointed out in your recent reply.

all the best

d

[Long Duck Dong]

roflmao dafydd

do you really read what I write ?????


Originally Posted by dafydd
In a room full of gay men who only want to sleep with gay men, who would have double the chance....a gay man, or a bisexual? see what I'm getting at...but perhaps that's off the point.


A broader range of experience in terms of being able to play with a man and a woman's body - theoretically yes, but I would bet that most of the gay men I know have has a broader range of experience in terms of sexuality/relationships etc. than some of the bisexuals I know.


I am not talking about sexual experiences with a lot of people, or doing the kamasutra etc....I am talking about the range of experience possible for sexualities

bisexual refers to both sexes... a experience with both sexes......
hetero / gay / les don't have that... they are singular.....

if you take a road and put bisexual in the center, hetero on one side and gay/ les on the other.... then heteros, gay and les, get part of the road, the bisexual can hog bloody near the whole road....

now if the heteros, gays, les walk one mile down the road, that will still not give them the experience of walking from side to side
I can walk 10 foot and still have the wider experience base to work with, cos I am not confined to one side of the side

is that so hard to understand ?????????????

[DiamondDog]

lol DD... a * true * bisexual

ok, remove the sexual contact and relationships aspect, that has NOTHING to do with being a * true * bisexual

a person that is true bisexual in nature, has both a masculine and feminine side... like all people..... but the masculine and feminine sides are equal, well defined and both are part of the same personality


if you think of a intersex ( hermaphrodite is a better defination ) person as a person have dual sex organs..... a true bisexual have the mental and emotions traits of both sexes

true bisexual natured people can be hetero / gay / les / trans or bisexual....
they don't have to be bisexual externally ( sexual interaction/ relationships )


unlike people with spilt personalities, true bisexuals have only one personality, but that personality can shift thru the spectrum of masculine and feminine traits and reactions in any situation. often showing traits of both sides at the same time

the interesting aspect is that during brain scans and other shit, it have been noted that true bisexual natured people do show that they think, feel and react with the parts of the brain that are uniquely male or female, at the same time.....and indeed, show dual traits, at the same time

OK, but that doesn't really answer the other questions I had.

Would the author of the essay I quoted from be a "true" bisexual?

She writes about both same gender and opposite gender energy and about how she wants both and fills in the missing gender when she is only having sex with one of them.

Like she's having sex with a man and she gets aroused by her male partner and knows that she's having sex with a guy and she wrote that she'll fantasize about the opposite gender of her partner (a woman), or her male partner and a woman at the same time.

Is that what happens when you're a "true" bisexual?

[jem_is_bi]

Dam!!! I never realized being bisexual was so complicated. Are you guys formulating a set of test questions for another quiz? That could be fun. Will a definition for a true bisexual become clear? As bisexuals, maybe we all share some psychological common characteristics. However, the only common factor I have observed is an attraction to both sexes (usually sexual desire). Also, I have never felt that because I have had sex with both men and women that my cumulated sexual experience is more fulfilling than another who desires only one sex. Maybe, if I had sex with 10 males and 10 females simultaneously, I would say “WOW!! Now I am a true bisexual.”
Also, my impression is that selecting from willing females as sex partners/lovers or alternatively willing men imposes only a trivial limit. In this country, there are a lot of willing partners of every denomination and sub-denomination and all available via the Internet. You do not need a brain scan to determine if they want to play with you. What, if they tested as 100 % male and still fulfill your fantasy? I would not be surprised if I my brain activity correlated as 100% male.
What are the limits on fantasy? We all have fantasies, when we entertain them and how they fit with our activities and desires is just as important as the particular fantasy. When, I trying to pleasure my partner, my senses are tuned into my partner’s sexual arousal level and the moans of pleasure in response to my efforts. When, my focus changes to my own gratification, my mind is a mix of sensory stimulation and fantasy. At the present time in my fantasy world, when others are included, they are bystanders to our activities. However, ask a year from now, I might have a different answer. What difference does the content of a fantasy make? If you like your fantasy chose when it is appropriate and it yields fireworks, why not just enjoy it?

JEM

[Long Duck Dong]

lol DD in simple terms, YES

I am a *true * bisexual, myself.... I have the dual nature

with *true* bisexuals, the opposite nature to the partner can often come into play and yes we can desire the sensations and emotions triggered by being touched and caressed by the same sex
other times we are able to fully interact with the partner we have

with me, I struggled thru my relationships.... often with females, I desired so bad to be a lesbian female laying with her, and other times it was the desire to be the male and reproduce ( the actual desire to impregnant her, tho neither of us wanted to deal with a pregnancy )
on the odd occasion I was gender neutral, I have no desires, sensations emotions of any kind
it was the same respect with a male....

what I begin to notice was that my inner nature, changed depending on the people around me...at times I was the *man * other times, the gay male or the drag queen or the butch lesbian.....
what surprised that I felt the full experience..... when I am in female * mode * i get period pains and cramps and a monthly cycle ( without bleeding ) but when in male *mode* i suffer none of them

the one time in my life, when I shift mildly between natures, is when I am living with two people, one male and one female and no sexual contact is happening.....I will alternative natures but without the inner turmoil that is triggered by sexual closeness

with the author, its very likely she is a true bisexual.....but the difference between bisexuals and * true * bisexuals, is bisexuals fantasy, true bisexuals *become *

in sexual contact, a trait of true bisexuals is to become a alternative person, its rare that you make love to the person themselves but to a aspect of their dual nature, you may see them as a female, and they see themselves as a lesbian with you being a lesbian with a strap on, or a trans, or a dominating male etc etc

with most true bisexuals they are cerebral beings.... or in english, they have sex in their head, you are just providing the sensations for their body, and they are suppling the emotions and thoughts for their own * world *

the thing about that, is you are pleasing them a LOT..... they are simply choosing the * sexual situation * in their minds.

[tom_uk]

lol DD in simple terms, YES

I am a *true * bisexual, myself.... I have the dual nature



was it not sigmund freud who said ALL people are bisexual?

i think he was prety close to the mark

Tom_uk

[lubaloy]

Personally, I don't believe that any of the "original" questions posted in this thread amount to anything more than (BLANK).

-lubaloy

PS (i.e., hint): Think about (BLANK) before replying.

PSS: Never mind posting any more "original" questions - because they aren't.

[DiamondDog]

lol DD in simple terms, YES

I am a *true * bisexual, myself.... I have the dual nature

with *true* bisexuals, the opposite nature to the partner can often come into play and yes we can desire the sensations and emotions triggered by being touched and caressed by the same sex
other times we are able to fully interact with the partner we have

with me, I struggled thru my relationships.... often with females, I desired so bad to be a lesbian female laying with her, and other times it was the desire to be the male and reproduce ( the actual desire to impregnant her, tho neither of us wanted to deal with a pregnancy )
on the odd occasion I was gender neutral, I have no desires, sensations emotions of any kind
it was the same respect with a male....

what I begin to notice was that my inner nature, changed depending on the people around me...at times I was the *man * other times, the gay male or the drag queen or the butch lesbian.....
what surprised that I felt the full experience..... when I am in female * mode * i get period pains and cramps and a monthly cycle ( without bleeding ) but when in male *mode* i suffer none of them

the one time in my life, when I shift mildly between natures, is when I am living with two people, one male and one female and no sexual contact is happening.....I will alternative natures but without the inner turmoil that is triggered by sexual closeness

with the author, its very likely she is a true bisexual.....but the difference between bisexuals and * true * bisexuals, is bisexuals fantasy, true bisexuals *become *

in sexual contact, a trait of true bisexuals is to become a alternative person, its rare that you make love to the person themselves but to a aspect of their dual nature, you may see them as a female, and they see themselves as a lesbian with you being a lesbian with a strap on, or a trans, or a dominating male etc etc

with most true bisexuals they are cerebral beings.... or in english, they have sex in their head, you are just providing the sensations for their body, and they are suppling the emotions and thoughts for their own * world *

the thing about that, is you are pleasing them a LOT..... they are simply choosing the * sexual situation * in their minds.

Thanks for clarifying it.

I'm the same way.

At first it REALLY freaked me out since I would be sexually attracted to men and having sex with them and then out of nowhere I would think of women but not being disasociated or anything like that and I wouldn't imagine that my male partner is a woman even if some of these men do have feminine energy or feminine aspects to themselves as well as masculine energy/masc. aspects to themselves (even if they don't want to admit it! ;) )

Or I would feel guilty since I was having sex with a gay man and I would think about having sex with him and a woman at the same time since I know that he'd NEVER do that ever at all, even if he was really into me.

I also would sometimes think about transmen too. I know that they are men but they're not bio men and this too can freak some homosexual men out.

I have done some feminine drag, not heavy drag where I'd shave my body but more like putting on makeup/nail polish and having feminine aspects of myself come out.

I prefer doing the butch drag since I'm rather built for it and it's better suited for me, and I have a fetish for uniforms/leather rather than women's clothing and makeup/nail polish.

Most of my dating/relationship experiences have been with gay/bisexual men and I highly prefer this as I relate very well to gay/bi men. I also would have no problems dating/having a relationship with a trans guy, both pre and post op.

I would date and perhaps get into a relationship with a bisexual woman but I wouldn't want to marry a woman and I personally wouldn't date or get into a relationship with a heterosexual woman since many simply do not approve of or understand a queer man's sexuality or queer sexuality/gender in general.

But I would marry a man, if a few of the gay/bisexual men who I am friends with and who I love would want such a relationship or desire such a long term relationship with me.

But sometimes I wonder if I'm just destined to be single and stay single by choice.

Tom_UK-I don't agree with Freud's theory mainly since you can't say that most people are bisexual or anything close to it.

Since while we are a minority (us bis and gay/lesbian/trans/queer people) we're not in the majority like heterosexuals are, and if bisexuality/queer sexuality were a lot more common it wouldn't be such a big deal to come out or be bisexual or have same gender attractions, and people wouldn't view bisexuality or having bi-genderism as being such a threat.