Without Condoms

[dafydd]

We all know that condoms are essential!
But how many of us have indulged without the use of a johnny. I'll own up to that. 90% of the time I am safe but sometimes, if I'm really drunk or just really horny I don't bother. But every morning I wake up and slap my forehead. I am HIV-, but it's not just HIV that frightens me but the whole panoply of STDs that even a top can catch.
I once dated a guy with HIV and we were always safe. Strangely I never felt so safe than I did when I was with him. I always knew the state of play and would never risk it.
Why do we do it? Why do we throw caution to the wind and go in uprotected? Or am I the only one guilty of this? It happened last night and I feel like a jerk.


d

[deeTM]

I have in the past but luckily never caught anything. When I started dating my wife we both got tested. Funny, I was never concerned about it growing up. Actually, STDs are the reason I'm nervous about jumping out there and enjoying being bi.


Dee.

[rayosytruenos]

We all know that condoms are essential!
But how many of us have indulged without the use of a johnny. I'll own up to that. 90% of the time I am safe but sometimes, if I'm really drunk or just really horny I don't bother. But every morning I wake up and slap my forehead. I am HIV-, but it's not just HIV that frightens me but the whole panoply of STDs that even a top can catch.
I once dated a guy with HIV and we were always safe. Strangely I never felt so safe than I did when I was with him. I always knew the state of play and would never risk it.
Why do we do it? Why do we throw caution to the wind and go in uprotected? Or am I the only one guilty of this? It happened last night and I feel like a jerk.


dI'm afraid you are not the only one. I would say that I play safe 99% of the time, but still I let me carry away sometimes, but I have to say that it's not my intention. I mean, it's usually my partners who try to play unsafe and sometimes due as you say, to being drunk or really horny, usually both, I don't resist as much as I should.

I remember mainly 3 occasions:

1) I met a Pilipino nurse on one of my cruising nights in London and we liked each other, so soon enough he was sucking my dick and wanting me to fuck him up the ass. We went to a more secluded place and we started at it like rabbits. Of course I put on a condom the first times, but after pulling it off when I came one of the times, he started to suck it and made it hard again, and then suddenly he impaled himself on my dick. I hold him and said "wait!" as I wanted to put on another condom, but I felt the nice sensation of his ass skin to skin to my dick while he was trying to convince me that he was safe as he was a nurse. Well, as he was already impaled and I was drunk and he started to move, making me feel really great, I went with the flow...

2) I had been for a few months without fucking a man, so I was really really horny. I went to a park while on holidays and a guy who was sucking another bloke started to suck my dick till made it hard and impaled himself so quickly and I was so horny that although I was going to object, I stopped myself. The other bloke came on his mouth while I was fucking this guy and then left, but actually, more than me fucking him, it was him who was fucking me... He was wonderful, I mean, I could feel his ass muscles squeezing and milking my dick till he made me cum. He then went for my dick with his mouth again till he made it hard again, and once again he turned around, impaled himself and milked me wonderfully till I came a second time. Again the whole cycle again... In total, he made me cum in his ass 6 times in 3 hours!!! I've never experienced such expertise with a mouth and an ass, and I guess I'll never experience it again... I think I've never come so many times in such a short time either!!!

3) Again on holidays and in the same park, a bloke with a wonderfully attractive ass was sucking my dick and wanting me to fuck his ass. I went for a condom from my pocket, but he said that he was clean and safe, as he was a nurse (this time a Spanish one) and checked himself regularly. I fucked him without a condom, but after meeting him a few times, I realized that he probably fucked with others without a condom, so after he tried me to fuck him again, the fear of having caught something made me not be hard enough and I told him that I preferred not to fuck.

All these times, I have a few hours later, been quite remorseful for what I stupidly had done, and had 3 months of heightened fright till I was tested and confirmed to be HIV- (the other results were also negative, but they are quicker, while the normal HIV tests give results from 3 months ago, so if you have a risky encounter today, you have to be tested in 3 months' time to see if you have caught HIV or not. There are expensive tests though that can give you the results in one week or less).

On most of other occasions, I've refused to have sex without a condom. Sometimes you have to be careful with your partners as some are quick and trained to take out your condom while fucking without almost you noticing. One guy did that and apart from me getting quite pissed I decided to leave him on his own.

[naughty'BI'chick]

U aint the only one.
I'm only safe 50% of the time. We go in unprotected bcuz sometimes we believe in taking chances or we're just that stupid or don't care.
And sometimes it happens on accident.

[spartca]

I'm pretty religious about condoms. Even when I was drinking.

But occasionally, accidents do happen. In my early days, those crappy Trojan condoms and my youthful exuberance combined with a lack of knowledge around lubrication meant broken condoms. But once I figured all that out, broken condoms were a thing of the past.

So in about 20 years now, I've only broken one condom. That was because we were drunk, in a grassy field, and I think some pieces of dry grass got caught up in the action and broke the condom.

Now that I don't drink anymore, these things will probably tend even more towards zero.

And then, there were those times when I was with a partner for years and we eventually got tested and went without them. Eventually in my experience every partner slips up and becomes a risk, because they made mistakes with other partners, and then we go back to condoms. So I always keep my eyes open for any signs of a broken safer sex agreement. No offense, but people often lie around these things, more so even than about the small stuff IMHE.

Here is a list of my favorite condoms. I keep a store on hand of all these types, depending on the situation:

Durex Extra Sensitive: crowd pleaser, great lube, silky latex, purple wrapper!
Crown Skinless Skin: superthin, sensitive, stretchy, good in tight situations
Durex Enhanced Pleasure: same as Durex ES only bat-shaped w/extra lube
Pleasure Plus: internally ribbed pouch under head puts motion back in the ocean, great for roomier accommodations
Durex Love: one-handed easy-on flared condom for mushroom heads or thick at the base
Durex Avanti: standard issue polyurethane for latex allergies
Lifestyles Kiss of Mint: no reservoir tip, after dinner mint for oral
Trustex Assorted Flavors: Vanilla, Grape, and Banana are my favorites!

These are all available online w/free shipping at http://condomdepot.com

I find that having the right condom that fits me or my partner and works in each different situation makes condom use a lot more fun and likely.

Right now I'm using Durex Play More lube. Widely available, convenient and hygenic lockable 100ml pump bottle is as discreet as it is convenient. Works well with Durex condoms.

Just a few tips from an old pro.

Barebacking isn't my style, I'm clean and really want to stay that way, but I've heard that it works great amongst HIV positive folks, the dreaded cross- superinfection never happens.

[onewhocares]

Who knew such a plethora of choices existed???

[Tygress75]

Another great place to buy condoms & lubes etc. is here:

http://www.safesense.com/

Let not forget when it comes to girl-on-girl play, there should be a barrier, too. Ladies aren't free from possible STDs. Break out your Dental Dams, some plastic wrap or there's a even a cool trick for turning a latex (or the latex-free ones, in case someone's allergic) glove into a barrier:

http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/sex/ht/Glove.htm

[DiamondDog]

Nope.

I don't have unprotected sex, not anal or vaginal sex anyway.

Anal sex isn't a requirement for me when it comes to having sex with men and I'd only do it to a boyfriend/partner/husband on very rare ocasions and it would probably be a finger or toy instead of my cock.

Most of the men who I've been with either aren't into being fucked or they're not into doing anal sex at all. Or we do erotic bondage/SM for sex where there's pretty much zero fluid exchange at all. Sex like spanking, cum control, bondage, whipping/flogging, using a crop, nipple play, paddling, j/o and making out, rubbing around, and external W/S.

I'll get unprotected oral sex but I won't give it to a man if I don't know him at all. Condoms are used if I REALLY wanted to give oral sex to a man who I don't know at all and who I know I'll never see again.

I'm really not into hook ups though and if I service a man with my mouth, it's because we're in a relationship and we've communicated a lot, have built trust, fidelity, and have been tested together.

I'm not into swallowing someone else's fluids at all, or letting someone cum in my mouth; but I eat my own up. I'm also OK if someone wants me to cum on them and I'll eat my own cum up but I don't like having someone cum on me, and of course I don't eat/swallow them or let them cum in me at all.

That's just how I am.

If I think that a man has an STD I won't give them oral sex or have any sex at all with him.

If they bareback or use meth/coke/heroin/PNP, IV drugs, go to bath houses, orgies/sex parties, or go cruising and have lots of random partners I won't have sex with them at all.

I'd use the same standards when it comes to women.

Also if he is a pushy anal sex top or anal sex bottom I tell him that we do things on my terms or we don't have sex at all and I put my clothes on and leave.

I'm also the same way with women who beg to be fucked bareback and demand it.

I'm OK with being rimmed by a man but I'm not into rimming anyone.

I haven't had sex with a woman in awhile but if I were to now I would use a dental dam if the woman was a stranger or seemed to be an ignorant woman who doesn't know about HIV/STDs, her own body, and safer sex.

Lots of hetero women are just plain stupid, ignorant, and think that it's 100% safe to swallow or say how they don't have to use condoms at all for being fucked. :rolleyes:

Of course lots of hetero men and women think that HIV/AIDS are just diseases that faggots, IV drug users, and whores get and then they become HIV+ from people who they least expect to get it from.

I'm not even that into fucking a vagina I'd rather eat it, play with it, use toys, and fist it.

If I were going to share toys I'd use condoms on those and if I were going to fist a woman's cunt or a man's ass I'd use a latex glove.

Also I'd never knowingly have sex with an HIV+ man or woman since that is too risky for me and I don't want to become HIV+/POZ and having sex with an HIV+ person is too much risk and something that I wouldn't do at all.

I'd never have sex with an HIV+ person who is lying about their status either and it's obvious that they are poz or obviously take meds for it and are lying about being HIV+/poz.

They say that being HIV+/Poz is just like being diabetic but that's a really horrible comparrison to make and the meds don't work for everyone and people do drop from being HIV+ to having AIDS and die fast.

I'm also not one of those young foolish people who thinks that if I would actually become POZ/HIV+ that I could just take meds and I'd be fine or be able to go rock climbing like they show in ads for them.

I have friends that are POZ who refuse to have sex with anyone that is negative at all, since they don't want to infect anyone.

They still use protection/barriers even if they are with another Poz person so they don't get reinfected or get another nasty STD that compromises their immune system, makes it easier for them to spread HIV to others, or fucks up their T-cell count/how their meds work.

[anteak]

I can't remember ever being fucked with a condom. My buddy and I started to fuck each other basck in the late 30s. We wanted to know what it felt like to put our cocks into another persons body and cum. We didn't do oral. Fast forward to the 70s. Met a Bi guy that arranged to have men fuck me and cum in me, then he would suck me and swallow. Found out about "Gay Baths" and visited them wherever I traveled and got fucked many many times. That was my main objective, to feel a hard cock plunge in and out of my ass til he shoved it in and pumped his cum into me. I also used to enjoy squating and watch the cum leak out of my ass and see how much he shot in me. Ocaisionaly I would suck a cock to get him hard so he could fuck me. It's been several years since i've been fucked. The last time I remember the guy had a long cock and as I was sucking him to get him hard he started to cum, I went down on him til his cock entered my throat, I could feel his cock pulse as he shot his load direct to my bellie, That started me deepthroating, I find it easy to do and love the feel of the cockhead stretching my throat and pop in as well as the pulsing as he cums. A cock has to be at least 6" for me to DT. The man I presently meet with for mutual cock sucking is just long enough for me to DT. I've learned to go through the swallowing motions as he shoots, he can feel this and it intensifies his cummy. I have put a 8" silicone cock in my throat for practice, wish I could find a real one. I've been lucky not using condoms. Most of my ass fucking took place B4 aids. I recomend safe sex today.

[innaminka]

Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa.

Been lucky - probably in my choice of partners.
certainly in days gone past, the odd encounter with a guy sans condom.
Tubes are tied so no chance of an "oops" - but I know I did play with fire on a few occasions.

As far as adventures with other ladies go - I do go unprotected, but I am very careful in choice of partners.
(Not that that is any guarantee.)

[TaylorMade]

The closest I've come is going at it w/o contraception on MY end (pill, sponge, etc.). . .So far, nothing ooops.

*Taylor*

[diamond_tether]

As far as we can tell - it's a lot more rare to find people who use condoms 100% of the time than it is to find people who occasionally (or commonly) don't.

The rhetoric about safe sex and always using protection seems to extend beyond simple condom useage. People try and develop comfort levels with potential partners and regular relationships as the first line of their own protection. If they're going to play with someone, just using condoms isn't enough for them to 'feel safe' in a lot of cases. Especially since oral sex rarely (if ever) seems to be done with protection on either end.

In time, once time and real comfort has been established and everyone has faith in the new partners' habits, testing schedules and status - we've discovered that most folks will then eagerly try and put the condoms down. Fluid Play seems to be an exciting and common eventual goal for a lot of people in open sexual lifestyles.

[dafydd]

As far as we can tell - it's a lot more rare to find people who use condoms 100% of the time than it is to find people who occasionally (or commonly) don't.

The rhetoric about safe sex and always using protection seems to extend beyond simple condom useage. People try and develop comfort levels with potential partners and regular relationships as the first line of their own protection. If they're going to play with someone, just using condoms isn't enough for them to 'feel safe' in a lot of cases. Especially since oral sex rarely (if ever) seems to be done with protection on either end.

In time, once time and real comfort has been established and everyone has faith in the new partners' habits, testing schedules and status - we've discovered that most folks will then eagerly try and put the condoms down. Fluid Play seems to be an exciting and common eventual goal for a lot of people in open sexual lifestyles.

What is Fluid Play?
I have a friend who has been in a committed relationship for 3 years, they both have regular HIV tests and they are negative. He still refuses to have sex without a condom. He says it's just not done these days.

d

[dt21524]

I am an Ass virgin looking for a top to break me in. As much as I would love to feel the raw meat stroking in me I do need to be realistic and will require the use of a condum. I have been involved with sex for 50 years and have never caught anything. Not a matter of luck just a matter of smarts. Sorry but the guy that gets my cherry will do it wearing his raincoat. :bigrin:

[creach]

I also have on occasion gone without condoms...

I feel bad about it after always and sometimes in the moment which is so silly. Since becoming a swinger i have gone for full screen approx every 12 weeks. Most of the time i'm VERY confident everything is going to come back clear and it does...

There are times when i'm not so confident about it... Sometimes i can't even work out why i went without... i don't really drink it's very rare that i do so being drunk is never an excuse! I know i get fed up with the feel of rubber at times and say to hell with it but i then remind myself that the moments (they usually are just Moments!) of unadulterated pleasure are short lived and i then fret. SIGH

I wonder if i'm on a self destruct / self harm cycle when i do go without as i always worry about it.

The way i see it is that not only do i have a responsibility to myself, but to those i'm having sex with too... I would hate to think that i was a carrier of anything that i may pass on.

I have to say that now i'm typing this i feel a little guilty... I haven't knowing passed anything on and i haven't had unprotected sex with someone to then find later i have something. But this article is also reminding me, is it really worth it to do it without? I have to say that in my mind more and more it is NO.

[diamond_tether]

What is Fluid Play?
I have a friend who has been in a committed relationship for 3 years, they both have regular HIV tests and they are negative. He still refuses to have sex without a condom. He says it's just not done these days.

d

Fluid Play is just a phrase used to denote folks who actively want to exchange fluids - spit, saliva, semen, vaginal drip, etc.

And there are definitely people out there who will ONLY play with condoms, they just seem to be massively outweighed by those who are willing to go without them once they find their comfort zone with new partners.

[DiamondDog]

Fluid Play is just a phrase used to denote folks who actively want to exchange fluids - spit, saliva, semen, vaginal drip, etc.

And there are definitely people out there who will ONLY play with condoms, they just seem to be massively outweighed by those who are willing to go without them once they find their comfort zone with new partners.

yeah I seem to be in the minority.

I don't use condoms for getting oral sex since as long as you have a healthy penis (no leisons from STDs or cuts) your chances of getting HIV are practically nil, and the STDs that you can get from getting oral while they may suck like Syphilis, herpes, or others they won't kill you and most are curable.

Also I'm VERY picky about who I give oral sex to without protection.

I'd only want to do this in a monoagmous relationship where we both are tested clean, stay clean, know each other (as partners, our history, past, values, etc.) and are together with each other and nobody else.

Most of the sex I have (besides oral sex) isn't penetrative and even if it's bondage/SM, or vanilla it's satistically all very low risk.

Anyway if I were even going to penetrate a woman's cunt or a man's ass I'd rather do it with a condom covered toy, a hand with a latex glove on it, or if I were actually going to use my penis I'd use a condom.

I'm not wired for receptive anal sex and it's rare that I take anything inside myself bigger than a finger, a tongue, or maybe two fingers.

I actually do enjoy watching bareback gay porn where they don't use condoms or latex gloves for fisting, condoms on toys, and there's swallowing or they cum in each other's mouths and drink/swallow piss.

I've seen bareback hetero/bi porn where it's the standard unprotected sex between a man and a woman or two men and a woman or two women and a man.

However it's just porn.

I see it as like watching a horror movie.

Just because I watch a horror movie it doesn't mean that I want to go out and do what's being shown in the movie.

It's the same thing with porn.

Just because I see it, it doesn't mean that I'll actually have bareback sex, won't use barriers, swallow or let someone cum in my mouth.

[Sapphrodite]

Although my S/O and I have finally abandoned the use of condoms after years of marriage, we still use them for internal ejactualtion, either vaginally or orally, mainly as a form of birth control (thaqt and I'm not a huge fan of taking cum orally, so we use it for the last part of oral). We're both clean and clear, and have had very few sexual partners without protection - in fact, we are the only M/F respectively that have gone without in each other's lives.

In those same regards, I have been a strong advocator for safer sex among F+F sex, where a lack of condoms and protection seems to be very common. If I know the woman (and any partners) are D&D Free, I may choose to partake in oral without barriers, however I always use condoms on my toys and clean everything with an antibacterial toy cleaner afterwards. I'll use a latex-free glove with a new partner I dont know much about, but I'm much mroe likely to keep things to kisses and cuddles till I'm pretty darn sure ;)

I always take condoms (both standard, flavoured and even the female condoms) wherever I go - walk up to me on the street and ask me and I'll whip one out of my purse!! It's my job to protect myself regardless of how quickly my hormones hit overdrive, and being prepared is always the best answer. :cool:

My faves include SLAM, a thin large-fitting studded condom (strawberry flavoured no less) which is an incredible ride and a great sensual alternative to bareback for the receiver. The Kimono's are also very nice, and the Hardcover Lollypops offer the best flavour selections (especially pina coloada and bubblegum)!!! I also like the non-latex Reality feminine condoms, as it does not contrain your male partner, so he gets more of the 'real feel' of a tight pussy or ass (BTW fellas, you can use these for anal sex too, so you dont have to worry about if your partner wants to put one on)!! :tong:

Hey I figure anything that offers a safer ride is going to allow me to lose my inhibitions and enjoy the experience all the more, so cowboy up folks!!! :three:

[lastlaf44]

My boyfriend and I are clean, but use a condom every time even though I'm on birth control. Lol, I'm just really paranoid. ^_^ We did it once without a condom, and I couldn't stop obsessing after that until I took a home birth control test. I know that there's pretty much a zero chance of getting pregnant while on the pill (and taking it correctly), but...again, paranoid. :)

~Lastlaf~ :female: