lastlaf44
Oct 13, 2005, 9:12 PM
I have a few questions, but I think some explaination is in order before I ask them. Also, this is a nice way to introduce myself, as I am new to this site and the forums.
A few nights ago, through discussing an episode about polyamorous (sp?) couples on the Showcase or Life Network, I found out that my boyfriend was also bi (I'm 19, he's 23). To tell the truth, I was excited. When I assumed he was straight, I didn't love him more or less, that doesn't matter to me. But when I found out he was bi, I felt closer to him because he told *me* and because now we're both out to each other.
The episode about polyamorous couples also sparked conversation on that topic. Neither of us has been with a member of the same sex, but we would like to. This is an odd situation because we are in a long term relationship. Our relationship is still relatively new (1.5 years), but we are planning to get married in about 5 years. In our discussions, we gradually came to realize what our boundaries were. After all, polyamory can only work for certain couples. From what I've seen, the relationship has to be very close and trusting for things to work properly. You also have to find the right person(s). It sounds odd, but I don't think I could see him with another woman...in fact, I know I would be jealous. On the other hand, I don't think I would have any problem at all seeing him with a man. In fact, I would find it extremely hot! My boyfriend came to the same conclusion about me. He thinks he would get jealous if he saw me with another man, but would be turned on to see me with a girl. We don't want a long term relationship with another couple, just a friendship up to and eventually including sex. We're not ready to post a profile or be with another couple yet...but I want to do the research because it is something we would like to do at some point.
As I get to the part where I want to ask some questions, I realize that I'm really just looking for advice. This is so completely new to him and I. I don't know how to make it work. How to find people that we can get along with, are attracted to, are safe, and discreet but friendly. Good people. How will I know when our relationship has matured enough to start looking for another couple? Any helpful advice is very much welcome. Thank you for reading my incredibly long post!
~Last Laugh~
A few nights ago, through discussing an episode about polyamorous (sp?) couples on the Showcase or Life Network, I found out that my boyfriend was also bi (I'm 19, he's 23). To tell the truth, I was excited. When I assumed he was straight, I didn't love him more or less, that doesn't matter to me. But when I found out he was bi, I felt closer to him because he told *me* and because now we're both out to each other.
The episode about polyamorous couples also sparked conversation on that topic. Neither of us has been with a member of the same sex, but we would like to. This is an odd situation because we are in a long term relationship. Our relationship is still relatively new (1.5 years), but we are planning to get married in about 5 years. In our discussions, we gradually came to realize what our boundaries were. After all, polyamory can only work for certain couples. From what I've seen, the relationship has to be very close and trusting for things to work properly. You also have to find the right person(s). It sounds odd, but I don't think I could see him with another woman...in fact, I know I would be jealous. On the other hand, I don't think I would have any problem at all seeing him with a man. In fact, I would find it extremely hot! My boyfriend came to the same conclusion about me. He thinks he would get jealous if he saw me with another man, but would be turned on to see me with a girl. We don't want a long term relationship with another couple, just a friendship up to and eventually including sex. We're not ready to post a profile or be with another couple yet...but I want to do the research because it is something we would like to do at some point.
As I get to the part where I want to ask some questions, I realize that I'm really just looking for advice. This is so completely new to him and I. I don't know how to make it work. How to find people that we can get along with, are attracted to, are safe, and discreet but friendly. Good people. How will I know when our relationship has matured enough to start looking for another couple? Any helpful advice is very much welcome. Thank you for reading my incredibly long post!
~Last Laugh~