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View Full Version : How do "Closed Loop" relationships work out?



parkwings
Jul 24, 2007, 6:00 AM
A closed loop relationship is where you have a mixed gender couple(for example) and then one or both of them has a same sex partner/lover as well.
Other than this "closed loop" there are no other sex partners, it's all in the open, risk of disease, and other possible issues are markedly reduced.

Anyone have any experience with this??

Huey_durden
Jul 24, 2007, 8:45 AM
No but it sounds reeeeeealy appetizing! Sounds like the comic choices.

TaylorMade
Jul 24, 2007, 12:50 PM
A closed loop relationship is where you have a mixed gender couple(for example) and then one or both of them has a same sex partner/lover as well.
Other than this "closed loop" there are no other sex partners, it's all in the open, risk of disease, and other possible issues are markedly reduced.

Anyone have any experience with this??

THAT is what I would like. . . I think it would be great not just sexually, but socially, too.

*Taylor*

parkwings
Jul 24, 2007, 4:06 PM
Well, I did'nt get much response, so I guess it must be pretty rare. Maybe more folks just cheat to get thier fix?

leizy
Jul 24, 2007, 5:12 PM
Actually, there are lots of relationships like this. Look for polyamory - closed loop is one option available in polyamory. There have been lots of poly discussions on here. I call it negotiated nonmonogamy. The negotiated part means that there's no cheating, because it is all talked about.

One restriction, for bis, seems to be what you describe - you're monogamous with me, with my gender - I'm the only guy you have sex with, but you can date women on the outside. I guess it's less threatening.

No, I don't agree that more folks cheat to get their fix. Except that, the stats say that you're right - as many as 50-65% of men cheat at least once, 30-50% of women cheat. but, I just don't think that justifies cheating, and it doesn't mitigate or diminish the negative impact on the relationship when it comes out, as it usually does..

cheers.
david.

Huey_durden
Jul 25, 2007, 10:24 AM
Actually, there are lots of relationships like this. Look for polyamory - closed loop is one option available in polyamory. There have been lots of poly discussions on here. I call it negotiated nonmonogamy. The negotiated part means that there's no cheating, because it is all talked about.

One restriction, for bis, seems to be what you describe - you're monogamous with me, with my gender - I'm the only guy you have sex with, but you can date women on the outside. I guess it's less threatening.

No, I don't agree that more folks cheat to get their fix. Except that, the stats say that you're right - as many as 50-65% of men cheat at least once, 30-50% of women cheat. but, I just don't think that justifies cheating, and it doesn't mitigate or diminish the negative impact on the relationship when it comes out, as it usually does..

cheers.
david.

As far as cheating goes, I just think women get caught less. I think men are a lot moe likely to forget unless they see it while women will investigate on a hunch until they find proof.
But, caught in the act is caugt in the act.
Just saying is all :2cents:

scorpio9
Jul 25, 2007, 11:39 AM
In my casual 20's (in the casual 70's) me and my gf then had another guy in the mix for about 2 months. Then another time later I was the "extra" with another couple. It's fun as long as you keep being honest about feelings. It takes maturity to keep an odd number going for long-term.

mikey3000
May 20, 2010, 10:32 AM
Hmmm, found this old thread and thought it needed a revisit. So have attitudes changed over the past three years on this type of relationship? I've been in a closed loop for almost a year now and it is slowly working out ok. Anyone else?

ErosUrge
May 20, 2010, 1:32 PM
In order for this to happen, one has to first of all find a significant other who is willing to be open to this. For me, this would be ideal. But so far and with the last girlfriend I was involved with, it didn't happen and I realized there was no way she'd accept such an arrangement. My sexuality was already a problem for her which is why we parted ways.
I know 4 couples personally who have a similar situation but it isn't closed loop. They leave it open to whoever they choose to be a part of their sexual play but both have to agree as to who.