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Long Duck Dong
Jul 24, 2007, 5:28 AM
please take a few moments to read my post before you gasp in shock and horror


lol, there are times that I hate being bisexual......
bisexuality has brought me so many new experiences, ideas and understandings....but there are times, when it has brought tears and heart ache......

a few times in my life, I have met people that I have fallen deeply in love.... and at times, I wish that I had a bisexuality off switch.....lol
I would give my whole life up for those people, and to feel the desire to touch and be touched by another person, other than them, is something that i would love, not to feel

but I am bisexual, lol.... my body. mind and heart is not content with one person, one experience, one feeling.... hell no, .... I could be content with one plate, but being bisexual, my body, mind and heart, wants the whole fucking buffet table.... perferably all at once....lol

being bisexual has helped me meet some of the most intense and wonderful people in the world.... and I have had some of the most amazing sexual experiences.....but I lack one..... completion.... the one person that can fulfil all of the needs that my body, mind and heart could desire....

its like that itch that you just can't scratch.....

but would I change my sexuality and become a person that would spend a life just knowing the warmth and beauty of just one sex........hell no.....thats like having the whipped cream without the body paint......a vibrator and no batteries.......a top grade porno dvd and no dvd player......ARGGGGGHHHHH

as much as i hate being bisexual at times, I love the idea that I can love males and females..... any one of them could be my mr / miss right.......any one of them could complete me as a person and make me feel like they are the ultimate partner, fulfilling all of my bisexual desires.....lol

but lets be honesty.... I hate bisexuality.... cos I know that when I meet mr/miss right and I am complete and have the whole buffet table .... my body, mind and heart will demand the dessert table too..... arggggggghhhhhhhhhh


I hate being bisexual at times but I would not change it for the world........lol.........now where was that buffet table ??????? :tong: :tong:

rmorti
Jul 24, 2007, 5:39 AM
Tell me about it I cant help but feel like if I meet a mr/mrs right, that my body will crave the alternative menu aswell as my current choice. Makes you feel like settling down is something that may never happen because although you already have the tastiest lobster, you will always want the desert too.

DiamondDog
Jul 24, 2007, 6:56 AM
please take a few moments to read my post before you gasp in shock and horror


lol, there are times that I hate being bisexual......
bisexuality has brought me so many new experiences, ideas and understandings....but there are times, when it has brought tears and heart ache......

a few times in my life, I have met people that I have fallen deeply in love.... and at times, I wish that I had a bisexuality off switch.....lol
I would give my whole life up for those people, and to feel the desire to touch and be touched by another person, other than them, is something that i would love, not to feel

but I am bisexual, lol.... my body. mind and heart is not content with one person, one experience, one feeling.... hell no, .... I could be content with one plate, but being bisexual, my body, mind and heart, wants the whole fucking buffet table.... perferably all at once....lol

being bisexual has helped me meet some of the most intense and wonderful people in the world.... and I have had some of the most amazing sexual experiences.....but I lack one..... completion.... the one person that can fulfil all of the needs that my body, mind and heart could desire....

its like that itch that you just can't scratch.....

but would I change my sexuality and become a person that would spend a life just knowing the warmth and beauty of just one sex........hell no.....thats like having the whipped cream without the body paint......a vibrator and no batteries.......a top grade porno dvd and no dvd player......ARGGGGGHHHHH

as much as i hate being bisexual at times, I love the idea that I can love males and females..... any one of them could be my mr / miss right.......any one of them could complete me as a person and make me feel like they are the ultimate partner, fulfilling all of my bisexual desires.....lol

but lets be honesty.... I hate bisexuality.... cos I know that when I meet mr/miss right and I am complete and have the whole buffet table .... my body, mind and heart will demand the dessert table too..... arggggggghhhhhhhhhh


I hate being bisexual at times but I would not change it for the world........lol.........now where was that buffet table ??????? :tong: :tong:

Well said.

I've met gay men who I'd be content to settle down with as a husband for the rest of my life.

LOL yes I know I'm a bit young to be thinking of marriage at 24 but these men are some of my best friends and are real catches and I love them and they know it! :) ;)

But I know that it probably won't happen since like you wrote my mind/heart/body will want the other genders too and the idea of just being with one gender "forever" makes me feel depressed.

I've tried to be both heterosexual and homosexual but I'm neither and it's nothing that I can change so I just try to live life and be happy as being myself. :)

the mage
Jul 24, 2007, 8:11 AM
Theres no reason being in love and partnering with 1 person has to stop you from playing with sex playmates.

Love is not sex.
Sex is play.

Those 2 things being fucked up in the mix are a reason for so much marital misery in this world.

and no speeches regarding monogamy please......been there done that.

Huey_durden
Jul 24, 2007, 8:38 AM
Theres no reason being in love and partnering with 1 person has to stop you from playing with sex playmates.

Love is not sex.
Sex is play.

Those 2 things being fucked up in the mix are a reason for so much marital misery in this world.

and no speeches regarding monogamy please......been there done that.
HEY LDD
Challenge monogamy.
Challenge anything that causes so much heartache.
I know exactly how you feel and as a male the last thing you want to be labeled as is a dog (sorry DD). You want a normal life. at the end of the day no matter who u are you want something dependable. that is the very definition of normal. But it doesn't mean monogamy. You can love more than one person. :three: Look at the comic called Choices There is more than two ways to live. Try looking up polyamory. It means "many loves" and there are many ways of living and loving.

The plural of mouse is mice, the plural of spouse is spice.
Just saying is all...

yewtahjim
Jul 24, 2007, 8:42 AM
Well, I have been blessed I guess, in that I have always accepted and enjoyed my bisexuality, tho I too have had some wonderous and awesome affairs which ultimately brought hurt, but on the flip side, the hurt made the good much better and also taught me that my loving was true and worth the investment in time. I am recently widowed after 53+ years of marriage, during which time I had my male lover for 30 years. As far as monogamous, I feel I was, in that I did not cheat on either, and both knew of the other....my wife at times wanted to know about my m/m relationship and at other times chose to ignore it....my love was also curious about what my wife and I did...and other times, seemingly didn't know she existed. IT was a wonderful life for years...he too is now gone, but the hunger is still there, the need to be needed, the desire to be part of something permanent, which doesn't necessarily mean sex is out of the question, cause in fact sex is the answer to most questions...*S* but I have had agreat life, and if I never have a partner again, I will at least have a ton of memories which far outweigh, money, postion, possessions....Jim

Long Duck Dong
Jul 24, 2007, 9:55 AM
roflmao... I notice that most of the replies talk about sex as a bisexual..... I am celibate, sex is the last worry on my mind lol

my bisexuality is one of the mind, the heart, the soul and the emotions, not the body.....while others crave the sexual attraction and contact of both sexes, I actually desire the love, affection and hugs... but not the sexual contact

like yewtahjim, I would need both partners in my life.... but to satisfy all the cravings, I would need 4 partners and the ability to change between male and female at while......and again, without any sexual contact..... the sex is not what I gain pleasure from....

lol who said being bisexual was fun :tong: :tong: :tong:

Lorrie
Jul 24, 2007, 6:00 PM
Going beyond being bisexual, sometimes I hate being so different from the "average person".

I have very esoteric tastes and interests for the most part and kind of wished sometimes that I was more "normal" so I could have more friends to discuss shared interests.

My mother once said I was weird when I was about 12 years old. I was hurt by it at first, but later when I became an adult, I now look at it as a compliment. I really don't want to be an Average Jane.

So yes, sometimes I hate being different from most people, but most of the time, I like being bisexual, subculture--and being weird! lol

DiamondDog
Jul 24, 2007, 6:50 PM
HEY LDD
Challenge monogamy.
Challenge anything that causes so much heartache.
I know exactly how you feel and as a male the last thing you want to be labeled as is a dog (sorry DD). You want a normal life. at the end of the day no matter who u are you want something dependable. that is the very definition of normal. But it doesn't mean monogamy. You can love more than one person. :three: Look at the comic called Choices There is more than two ways to live. Try looking up polyamory. It means "many loves" and there are many ways of living and loving.

The plural of mouse is mice, the plural of spouse is spice.
Just saying is all...



Theres no reason being in love and partnering with 1 person has to stop you from playing with sex playmates.

Love is not sex.
Sex is play.

Those 2 things being fucked up in the mix are a reason for so much marital misery in this world.

and no speeches regarding monogamy please......been there done that.

Some people associate sex with love and there's nothing wrong with this.

Anyway the gay male friends I wrote about are monogamous and want closed/exclusive relationships, many associate sex with love, and I don't see anything wrong with this since it's what works for them, it's what they want for themselves and in a partner.

While I'm open to the idea of an open marriage/relationship/non-monogamy, I don't call myself poly/polyamorous at all. The philosophy of it is rather self defeating, limited, and silly. It's just another word for an open relationship.

I don't respect those poly/polyamorous people who are hypocritical speaking of free "love" and acceptance and equality, yet shutting out those who prefer monogamy, or those who refuse to be labeled but prefer open relationships.

I've met tons of people who are in or who prefer open relationships and they seem to think that they're more advanced than, more evolved, and transcend people who prefer closed/exclusive relationships, or who are serial monogamists.

Talk about being hypocritical! I don't see people who are serial monogamists telling people who are in open relationships or self defined poly/polyamorus that what they're doing is inheriently "bad" or "wrong".

I don't see how being in a closed/exclusive relationship is "bad" or why it causes so many problems or heartache.

I know men and women who are in them and they're happy, content, have an excellent relationship and communicate a lot with their wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend, both partners understand each other's needs/wants, and that's what matters.

I don't think that an open relationship is the ultimate solution for EVERYONE and that if you prefer monogamy or a closed/exclusive relationship that you're just blinded by society like people who are into open relationships believe.

I don't happen to buy into all of this and different relationships work better for different people. Many people prefer a combination of having an open relationship and a closed one or they will have an open one for a few years and then keep it closed/exclusive for as long as they stay with that one person their longterm boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, which could be the rest of their life.

I honestly don't know of anyone who is in an open relationship or who is self defined poly who has had a relationship that's open or with 3 people last for a decade or more.

I know men and women who have tried open relationships and then go back to serial monogamy saying how they'll never have or try an open relationship ever again because the couple who they entered into a relationship with didn't take things seriously at all, there was a lot of cheating/lying, the relationship started out fine being closed/exclusive but it evolved to being open since one partner cheated on the other one, it was too much work, it was very frustrating, one person was just compromising for the other one and didn't really want an open relationship at all but only tried it because they loved their partner, and all of this is just the tip of the iceberg from what I've heard from people who were once in open relationships or who tried them and found it to be a failure.

Also, just because someone is poly that doesn't mean that they won't cheat on you or won't harbor secrets from you.

It's naive and foolish to think that because someone labels themselves poly or non-monogamous that they won't cheat/lie/harbour secrets, or that abuse doesn't occur in open relationships or between people who are self defined poly.

I do know that a lot of people call themselves poly and say that their relationships are all about "love" when all they're about is just slutting around and sleeping with other people and experiencing novelty by being with new partners and not working on the relationship that they have or taking it very serious at all.

Also it's foolish to try to change people into being who you want them to be. People who are into closed/exclusive relationships aren't going to want to have an open relationship.

I'd NEVER expect a male partner to just allow me to slut around with women or other men behind his back or enter into what he or I thought was a closed/exclusive relationship and demand the right to sleep with other men and women besides him, or else if I couldn't the relationship would end.

If we agreed upon it, sure but I wouldn't just assume or expect that because we're in what we both think is a closed/exclusive/monogamous relationship that it gives me the right to cheat on him with women or other men, or that he would even want an open relationship and be supportive of it.

Anyway while I can be in an open relationship there's no reason that I couldn't be in a closed/exclusive relationship either with the right man. I know that there's one guy who if he and I were to enter into a relationship I simply wouldn't desire anyone else at all and we'd both do well in a closed/exclusive relationship with each other.

jamiehue
Jul 24, 2007, 7:36 PM
Interesting posts like these are the main reason that I return time and again to this site. j.

naughty'BI'chick
Jul 25, 2007, 10:32 PM
I know how u feel.
I hate being bisexual sometimes too.
But I wouldnt really do anything 2 change it.

stillconfused
Jul 25, 2007, 10:44 PM
I have talked about this before here, I prefer women but like both sexes. The only thing I don't like is the complete inability to commit to one team or the other. I go through 'cycles of preference' and never know where I'll be in 6 months. Doesn't exactly make for great relationships, but I can't say I totally hate being bi.

FalconAngel
Jul 25, 2007, 11:37 PM
Theres no reason being in love and partnering with 1 person has to stop you from playing with sex playmates.

Love is not sex.
Sex is play.

Those 2 things being fucked up in the mix are a reason for so much marital misery in this world.

and no speeches regarding monogamy please......been there done that.

Won't preach monogamy, but as long as your partner knows whats going on and is okay with it (whether they participate or not), then no harm.

shameless agitator
Jul 25, 2007, 11:54 PM
Diamond Dog's rant aside I know that open and poly relationships can work. Yes they present a whole new set of issues and people sometimes enter them for the wrong reasons but that doesn't invalidate the concept. As long as everyone agrees to the ground rules without coercion and the lines of communication are kept open there's no reason these relationships must be any less stable than monogamous ones

Reprob8
Jul 26, 2007, 1:05 AM
Diamond Dog's rant aside I know that open and poly relationships can work. Yes they present a whole new set of issues and people sometimes enter them for the wrong reasons but that doesn't invalidate the concept. As long as everyone agrees to the ground rules without coercion and the lines of communication are kept open there's no reason these relationships must be any less stable than monogamous ones


Hi shameless, how's everybody on your end doing?

Dursmal
Jul 27, 2007, 12:05 AM
My Brothers and Sisters I offer my learned wisdom as the following:


There is no bisexuality, no homosexuality, no heterosexuality.
There simply is sexuality.
I find it amusing that these terms based in Latin did not even exist in their current incarnation to Rome. The use of these terms is as much an enslaving term as the word N****r. Even within our supposed "deviancy" groups as we are termed by psychology, we choose to succumb to said labels and the diatribes that accompany them. True evolution in our culture will only come when we throw off the shackles of thousands of years of social tyranny. We MUST embrace our true natures as sexual beings and dispose of the fallacy of monogamy. We are hard wired in our bodies to the flowing of hedonism and social contact. Pay attention to the world around you and observe.. everything in human culture relates to us in someway sexually. The sex drive is what drives us. I'm not saying we need to be nudist rabbits.. but we do need to grasp the concept that there is a difference between f**king, sex and making love and the space between them is not always black and white its as much a colorful spectrum as the rainbows you see on all those bumbers in a gay bar parking lot. When you truly grasp this and have an open and truly accepting and loving relationship with a partner you'll finally understand.. you won't hate being bisexual because you'll realize that monikor doesn't fit you. You are simply you a human sexual being.

Long Duck Dong
Jul 27, 2007, 12:16 AM
lol, I love seeing the way that people are talking about monogamy and polygamy
and open relationships as the way to go

into the mix, lets throw the loner, the person that seeks to not to be in relationship

and lets add the non sexual being.....lol

so much of all that is thrown around in books and the net, all refer to relationships and sexual activities.... few look at the loner and the celibate people.....cos thats not what people want to accept as part of life

only when we understand that not all seek what we seek, can we truly claim to understand the needs of others

shameless agitator
Jul 27, 2007, 12:16 PM
Hi shameless, how's everybody on your end doing?Pretty well. Have a lot to fill you in on. You could just call me you know.

raistkit
Jul 27, 2007, 7:21 PM
hi kit here: pleased to meet you. i'm the other side of the coin. happen to luv my bi guy. however sharing is hard. has anyone started a thread about sharing? don't hate yourself i think you're kinda cute, and if i were 15 yrs younger i would deffinatly give you a whirl. being bi is hard(no pun intended). and yes sharing a lifetime isn't about just sex. holding hands and being together that counts. sometimes i think about curling up together is like being a couple of battery rechargers. do i want to share? no way, will he always come back , yes. so don't hate yourself luv , there are lots of people out there who have learned from you(i'm one of them). :) kit

K.D.Lucky28
Jul 27, 2007, 9:31 PM
I know exactly where your coming from. And sometimes I don't wanna give in to those feelings that even if your with a man you'll still want a woman or vice versa because it feeds into that stereotype that bisexual people can't be monogamous...Then you become a stereotype. I have met guys that I could easily settle down with but they are afraid to date me because they think I'm gonna leave them for a woman....and the sad part is I know deep down that it could really happen and that just makes it worse. I don't hate being bisexual but sometimes I wish I wasn't for one reason, you feel caught between two worlds...or at least I do

Long Duck Dong
Jul 28, 2007, 6:16 AM
lol for me, I can settle if I live with a male and a female but if we never have sex lol

I am not worried if the other two have sex...... I would just like to hug and kiss them and for me, thats about the most affection and close that I can get without my bisexuality spiralling out of control and unbalancing me.....

the sacred night
Jul 28, 2007, 7:06 PM
Even gay and straight people have desires for other people besides their partners. That's not a bisexual thing, it's a human thing. Even if you only liked one sex, you would still be attracted to members of that sex besides your partner. That's just a part of life everyone has to deal with, bi or otherwise. If you see polyamory as the solution to that, great for you. I know bisexuals can be monogamous just like anyone else can if they choose to, though. When I was engaged to a man, I still had desires for women, true, but I also had desires for men other than my fiance. Monogamy may not be realistic for everyone, but if it's really what you want, it can be done, and your bisexuality doesn't have to be an obstacle to it. You just have to decide which you want more, monogamy or variety. They're both great choices, there's no right or wrong, and each person chooses differently. Just because you're bisexual doesn't mean you have to be polyamorous, and just because you're not doesn't mean you have to be monogamous.