Do you have problems interacting with people that are stictly gay?

[miamiuu]

I'm bi but i really have problems interacting with just gay guys on a personal level. I guess for one I dont really know what to talk to them about. Another thing is I'm not interested in hearing them talk about guys and gay sex. Seems weird I know cus I'm open to doing it, but have no interest in hearing other guys talking about it. I also notice that I do feel uncomfortable when someone is cruising me rather then just coming out and saying they want to be with me. Anyone else feel like this?

[DiamondDog]

No.

Some of my best friends are homosexual men and women, and it's not a big deal.

I get along really well with gay men and I have a lot in common with them, and they tell me that I have a lot in common with them, even if I am bisexual.

I relate to bi/gay men A LOT better than heterosexual men.

I just take cruising/flirting as a compliment and it's all in good fun.

It's when a person gets touchy feely/gropey and doesn't take "sorry I don't want you or want to have sex with you or date you", they won't leave me or my friends alone, or they won't take "no thanks" for an answer that's when I get annoyed and uncomfortable at being treated like a sex object or a piece of meat.

I get this way even when women do it to me.

Cruising/Flirting are just plain fun at times though!

That's how I've met some of my best friends.

I don't mind gay/bi men talking about sex with men or other men but while I enjoy sex and relationships with men, that's not ALL I want to talk about with someone constantly 24/7.

I do however like how lots of gay/bi men are A LOT more open about their sexuality than most heterosexual men can be.

Like with my gay/bi male friends I can talk about vibrators/toys, rimming, kissing/showing affection to men, if a certain guy is hot, jack off and oral sex with men and it's not a big deal at all.

I don't mind gay men talking about sex and men; but I do get REALLY annoyed when my hetero male friends talk about nothing but pussy and tits and about how a certain girl is hot or whatever, and then if I talk about external prostate stimulation or how a guy is cute (not even mentioning sexual things at all) the close minded hetero friends say how it's gross.

[innaminka]

Being female, the dynamics are somewhat different - no, I have no problem interacting with gay guys.
What sometimes I do find difficult, and its nothing to do with just being gay, is interacting with people who are strident - zealots - fanatics about anything: their sexuality, the environment, politics, religion etc. where their "ism" dominates their thoughts and discussions.
I'm not a flag waver and maybe the world does need them, but personally, I find that aspect difficult.

[deeTM]

I have and have had gay friends. I don't mind when they find me attractive and tell me. In fact, someone told me I was beautiful today. While I'm certainly not used to being considered pretty it was a nice compliment. Oddly enough though or maybe not, I haven't been engaged in discussions about sex with my gay friends. I wouldn't object though. I like sex and I like to talk about sex. You never can tell when you'll learn something new. Lol.

Dee.

[TaylorMade]

For me, it depends.

Most of the bi/gay male friends I have are more "traditionally" masculine ( at one point ALL my bi/gay male friends were former military!)...or MTF, and technically not male.

*Taylor*

[JoyJoyHollywood]

Well, my best friend is a lesbian, so no. I don't really. But, I don't know a lot of gay guys, so I can't comment on that aspect.

However I will say this...I've noticed that a few homosexuals don't really seem to be able to comprehend the drive towards both sexes simultaneously. The same with some heterosexuals.

In general I don't discuss things of a personal sexual nature with anyone besides the friends that are very comfortable with it or are of a similar nature to me. I have more than a few friends who are very uncomfortable with discussion of anything sexual in nature. So, I don't speak of it, even though I'm comfortable discussing such things in an open manner, because I respect their boundaries of comfort.

[the mage]

I prefer the company of Gay/Bi men over straight.

[AdamKadmon43]

I'm bi but i really have problems interacting with just gay guys on a personal level. I guess for one I dont really know what to talk to them about.
For what ever it may or may not be worth to you, I know how you feel.. I never seem to be very comfortable in situations where I feel compelled to align my self with the prevailing group mentality. I guess that maybe I get just as tired of hearing my straight friends go on and on about women as I do hearing my gay friends go on and on about men. It's as if they all have sort of gotten stuck somewhere, and there is little or no flexibility.

I once made the mistake of admitting to being bisexual to some gay friends. I would have probably gotten in less trouble if I had stepped on someone's baby. I got really lamblasted as being a "confused cop-out" who was hurting their cause.

So I just hang around in here.

Adam

[someotherguy]

It is easy to fall under the spell of a prejudice. You'll know if you have because you find yourself reacting beforehand to things that have not yet happened, like anticipating how people will treat you. It colors perception. It makes it difficult to relate to whole types of people, by race, religion, gender, sexual orientation. Prejudice is useful to a point but can get in the way. I have problems interacting with dullards, bigots, and go-getters, be they straight, bi, gay or anything else. In the playground of sexual identity you will run into orientation bigots who dislike each other for being of a different orientation. It is hard to interact with bigots except argumentatively. Just decide whom to hate, call them a fuckwit, and you're all set. Notice the difficulty is yours, by virtue of prejudice, and then you can keep it or open your mind to each person on a case by case basis; easy to say, hard to do.

[Cowan]

No not me I have some great gay/lesb friends and we all get alone great as well I also have some straight friends that I also get along with I just let myself be me!!! :flag1: Be yourself and give everyone else the same oppertunity to be who they are. :2cents:

[rmorti]

I dont mind talking to the few gay people I know, mainly at work, but they dont go on about sex etc, and they only sorta look a bit gay, they dont sound/act etc. I think I'd be ok hearing about man on man sex, sure after a while it gets sickening, but then I get annoyed at some het mates who try to be so masculine saying that Joss Stone is hot or whoever comes on the duke box and when I say "naaa, prefer a geekier girl not so perfect etc" I just get "yeah but you would do her if she was there infront you" ....maybe I would but mentally I aint interested in the paticular girl.
The only thing I really cannot stand if I am honest is the camp voice, why on earth does taht come about!? what in that kind of gay person akes them go so camp? ok be feminine sure, but to be honest, the really camp ones to me make gay people look...really bad if im honest and bring prejudice against themself sometimes.
Don't take that as I hate them or anything I know a camp person, just sometimes when its really bad it.."grinds my gears"

[dafydd]

The only thing I really cannot stand if I am honest is the camp voice, why on earth does taht come about!? what in that kind of gay person akes them go so camp? ok be feminine sure, but to be honest, the really camp ones to me make gay people look...really bad if im honest and bring prejudice against themself sometimes.
Don't take that as I hate them or anything I know a camp person, just sometimes when its really bad it.."grinds my gears"

sorry rmorti but this is awful. I hate it when people put on their profiles no fats no femmes. let people have camp voices. let people have deep voices. let people have voices that are sort of undulating or voices that always end on a rise. who cares? why do you care? how can you say that people with camp voices are bringing prejudices against themselves? you are the one that is sounding prejudice here. this is the second poster today who has displayed some kind of internalised homophobia. e.g. please. i might be gay but I am not 'that' kind of gay.
come on rmorti...gay people are camp and butch and not camp and not butch and overt and discreet and 'screaming' and can 'pass' and also amongst the extremes there are those like me who are somewhere in-between. what do you want to do? interview for the right kind of gay.
thanks for letting me rant. don't take it personally. let's discuss :bigrin:

d

[rmorti]

no its completely understandable, everyone has their opinions and thats completely fine by me, the best form of learning is discussion and debate. Its just a personal preference of course, I am not trying to reflect an entire opinion of anyone but I honestly Just dont grasp the concept of the camp voice. I'm not saying people cant have it, and to be honest I dont really think I can be called homophobic for not liking a simple voice that I find annoying because of the way it sounds. As I said, I have gay friends and I am completely comfortable with them etc, I just honestly Dont like the camp voice, I mean if Im not in the mood for something I find annoying then a camp voice does sound like nails down a chalk board.
And yes your right, I dont think i'd date a camp gay because I know it would annoy me but am I not allowed to get annoyed by that? Sure people can be camp, it can be the way they are or even a sort of way of represenation of sexuality (to some) I just personally dont understand the need for it.
So in a nutshell, I dont think I can be homophobic for not liking a tone of voice, it really does just annoy me, its the same as for example; a women who may have a laugh that sounds like a witch, it annoys me too, so does that make me...women witch laugh-a-phobic?

Also the prejudice thing ok thats true, it will always be the attacker who would bring any problems against a camp person because they go out of their way to cause pain for them or trouble etc However I just sometimes cant help but see that it happens purely because the voice, again its an opinion and it depeneds on who hears the voice whether they get prejudice for it.

[dafydd]

n
Also the prejudice thing ok thats true, it will always be the attacker who would bring any problems against a camp person because they go out of their way to cause pain for them or trouble etc However I just sometimes cant help but see that it happens purely because the voice, again its an opinion and it depeneds on who hears the voice whether they get prejudice for it.

madness
:(
d

[rmorti]

Its something we cant do much about though. I just want to clear up by the way when I say i get annoyed etc, I dont mean I do anything or say anything at all, I see myself as a very polite and well, soft person. Maybe its because I personally don't understand it that I find it annoying, or maybe its just because I dont really like the sound of the voice itself

[darkeyes]

No..eitha me gets on wiv em an has a laff or has huge fallin out if they intolerant an stupid arseholes..bit like wiv rest of humanity reely...

[coyotedude]

Only if they're assholes - the same as anyone else. Guys talking about other guys doesn't really bother me. Guys talking about me -- that would be flattering!

Peace

[Skater Boy]

I prefer the company of Gay/Bi men over straight.

I would agree. I just feel that I have more in common with gay men than straight ones, even though technically I should be able to relate to either equally well. Perhaps its the closed-mindedness that some straight folk have? But then I'm generalising quite a bit here... there are some people both straight AND gay that I just don't get on with. So I try and judge the person on the content of their character rather than by their sexual preferences.

[Herbwoman39]

Nope.

They're people. I'm a person. As long as we both speak English I've got no problems ;)

[AdamKadmon43]

I dont mind talking to the few gay people I know, mainly at work, but they dont go on about sex etc, and they only sorta look a bit gay, they dont sound/act etc.
How does one go about "sorta looking a bit gay"

[dafydd]

How does one go about "sorta looking a bit gay"

Adam, Don't go there ...;)
You are calm..calm.
D

[rmorti]

sorry I may have come across as a bit of a well idiot by some of my scentences. The reference of "looking a bit gay" is just the stereotypical retrosexual look, so looks bit feminine, blone highlights etc. I know not everyone who has these qualitys is gay of course, just in the terms I meant, that is what I meant.

[vittoria]

to be honest... and i'm NOT flamebaiting... just stating personal fact

crucify me if you want.. it wont change me so eff you ppl who dont agree

....

as a female i get along with gay men... straight men... bi women...

the problem i have is that it seems like gay men like to "rub in the face" (ALL puns intended) about their exploits to bi men... i think its to get their jollies, because theres PLENTY of homosexuals that bash the bi male community for liking women also... so therefore to get under their skin or to see "how gay/straight are you really" as a "test of the emergency broadcast system" as it were, they do simple minded dumb sh*t like that... just to test the waters and be agitants, not realizing that gays NEED the bi community on their side cause we are like the "underground" community ( more people are openly gay than openly bi... with a FEW famous exceptions ... ie the "man himself" David Bowie)

as regards lesbians...

the butch ones can go to hell...

they are too effiin "womens lib" for my taste... if you dont like men... dont look like one with buzz haircuts, flannel shirts, and purposely made baritone voices... if i want a dOOd, i would get a dOOd, if i want a woman, i would get a woman--that damn simple ... WHY THE FKK would i get one that looks like a dOOd youre gonna just use a damn dildo and strap on anyways, besides the only diff with that is a perpetual hardon without the usage of Viagara and no chance of pregnancy..

i mean CHRIST y'all womyn need to get a grip on something more than your fake penises

half the effin time they just sit and man bash anyway
FKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

but like i said... not flamebaiting... just stating PERSONAL fact... anyone who has the freedom of speech to get pissy about it can go ahead... i could really give a sh*t less .... not that i'm not open minded.. just that i'm also openminded to logic too..

peace and out

[warmpuppy]

From a sexual point of view, I prefer gay guys over bi. Most gays tend to be more romantic, and I like a lot of kissing/cuddling with my men. I know this may be a generalization, but I'm simply speaking from my own experience.

[rmorti]

If I decide I need to go for that side of my sexuality, I think the men will just be sex fufillment, I dont really like the idea of cuddling a guy etc personally.
Of course that may change when I've done something aswell, but pretty sure the kissing and cuddling is with girls for me.

[miamiuu]

It is interesting hearing all the differences within the community. With me I'm a guy and would rather hug and kiss another guy then have anal sex with one. Something about kissing to me is a whole lot hotter than sticking objects up in dirty places where they dont belong. lol

[dafydd]

It is interesting hearing all the differences within the community. With me I'm a guy and would rather hug and kiss another guy then have anal sex with one. Something about kissing to me is a whole lot hotter than sticking objects up in dirty places where they dont belong. lol

who says they don't belong?

d

[tom_uk]

interacting with strict gay men

mmmmmmmmm









sorry what was the question :- )

tom_uk

[biverswm]

I have nothing to do with the gay/lesbian lifestyle, politics, dress code, etc. It's like a religion with them. Most of them can't comprehend bisexuals and don't want to try. Too many gays and lesbians out there say they are bisexual but only want to use you for a one-nighter or two-nighter. Or to help out with Gay Pride Day and other gay/lesbian activities. When it comes to MY laid back attitudes and interest in having fun with men and women they are totally insensitive. I'm a life-long bisexual and resent being BSd by the usual Gay propaganda about gays and lesbians.

[vittoria]

I have nothing to do with the gay/lesbian lifestyle, politics, dress code, etc. It's like a religion with them. Most of them can't comprehend bisexuals and don't want to try. Too many gays and lesbians out there say they are bisexual but only want to use you for a one-nighter or two-nighter. Or to help out with Gay Pride Day and other gay/lesbian activities. When it comes to MY laid back attitudes and interest in having fun with men and women they are totally insensitive. I'm a life-long bisexual and resent being BSd by the usual Gay propaganda about gays and lesbians.


Duly noted and my point EXACTLY...(see my commentary above...)

[bigregory]

No.

Some of my best friends are homosexual men and women, and it's not a big deal.

I get along really well with gay men and I have a lot in common with them, and they tell me that I have a lot in common with them, even if I am bisexual.

I relate to bi/gay men A LOT better than heterosexual men.

I just take cruising/flirting as a compliment and it's all in good fun.

It's when a person gets touchy feely/gropey and doesn't take "sorry I don't want you or want to have sex with you or date you", they won't leave me or my friends alone, or they won't take "no thanks" for an answer that's when I get annoyed and uncomfortable at being treated like a sex object or a piece of meat.

I get this way even when women do it to me.

Cruising/Flirting are just plain fun at times though!

That's how I've met some of my best friends.

I don't mind gay/bi men talking about sex with men or other men but while I enjoy sex and relationships with men, that's not ALL I want to talk about with someone constantly 24/7.

I do however like how lots of gay/bi men are A LOT more open about their sexuality than most heterosexual men can be.

Like with my gay/bi male friends I can talk about vibrators/toys, rimming, kissing/showing affection to men, if a certain guy is hot, jack off and oral sex with men and it's not a big deal at all.

I don't mind gay men talking about sex and men; but I do get REALLY annoyed when my hetero male friends talk about nothing but pussy and tits and about how a certain girl is hot or whatever, and then if I talk about external prostate stimulation or how a guy is cute (not even mentioning sexual things at all) the close minded hetero friends say how it's gross.
I could not have said it better.Dog we think alike.

[Rocsteady]

Naw, I would actually prefer to interact with gay men. I feel very comfortable, and wish I could only interact with gay men. Straight guys have really gotten under my skin lately (not in a good way). :rolleyes:

[jem_is_bi]

This turned into a great discussion. I started to put together a comment based on your comments. But, I realized you already said what I wanted to say, except for some reordering. So, I have put together, quotes from all of you that express my :2cents:

“I do feel uncomfortable when someone is cruising me rather then just coming out and saying they want to be with me. Anyone else feel like this?”

“I just take cruising/flirting as a compliment and it's all in good fun.”

“With me I'm a guy and would rather hug and kiss another guy then have anal sex with one. Something about kissing to me is a whole lot hotter than sticking objects up in dirty places where they dont belong.”

“who says they don't belong?” [Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! … :eek: :eek: JEM]

“What sometimes I do find difficult, and its nothing to do with just being gay, is interacting with people who are strident - zealots - fanatics about anything: their sexuality, the environment, politics, religion etc. where their "ism" dominates their thoughts and discussions.”

“It is easy to fall under the spell of a prejudice. You'll know if you have because you find yourself reacting beforehand to things that have not yet happened, like anticipating how people will treat you. It colors perception. It makes it difficult to relate to whole types of people, by race, religion, gender, sexual orientation. Prejudice is useful to a point but can get in the way. I have problems interacting with dullards, bigots, and go-getters, be they straight, bi, gay or anything else. In the playground of sexual identity you will run into orientation bigots who dislike each other for being of a different orientation. It is hard to interact with bigots except argumentatively.”

“Its something we cant do much about though. I just want to clear up by the way when I say i get annoyed etc, I dont mean I do anything or say anything at all, I see myself as a very polite and well, soft person. Maybe its because I personally don't understand it that I find it annoying”

“but like i said... not flamebaiting... just stating PERSONAL fact... anyone who has the freedom of speech to get pissy about it can go ahead…”

I like discussing sex, viewing sex, having sex with men more than women.
I do not know any gay people, so I have no firm opinion about their stereotypical behavior.
I am a masculine man who likes only masculine men and feminine women.
I am proud to have my personal preferences, personal facts and prejudices like all of you and try like all of you to see other points of view and cause no personal harm.

JEM

[vittoria]

This turned into a great discussion. I started to put together a comment based on your comments. But, I realized you already said what I wanted to say, except for some reordering. So, I have put together, quotes from all of you that express my :2cents:

“I do feel uncomfortable when someone is cruising me rather then just coming out and saying they want to be with me. Anyone else feel like this?”

“I just take cruising/flirting as a compliment and it's all in good fun.”

“With me I'm a guy and would rather hug and kiss another guy then have anal sex with one. Something about kissing to me is a whole lot hotter than sticking objects up in dirty places where they dont belong.”

“who says they don't belong?” [Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! … :eek: :eek: JEM]

“What sometimes I do find difficult, and its nothing to do with just being gay, is interacting with people who are strident - zealots - fanatics about anything: their sexuality, the environment, politics, religion etc. where their "ism" dominates their thoughts and discussions.”

“It is easy to fall under the spell of a prejudice. You'll know if you have because you find yourself reacting beforehand to things that have not yet happened, like anticipating how people will treat you. It colors perception. It makes it difficult to relate to whole types of people, by race, religion, gender, sexual orientation. Prejudice is useful to a point but can get in the way. I have problems interacting with dullards, bigots, and go-getters, be they straight, bi, gay or anything else. In the playground of sexual identity you will run into orientation bigots who dislike each other for being of a different orientation. It is hard to interact with bigots except argumentatively.”

“Its something we cant do much about though. I just want to clear up by the way when I say i get annoyed etc, I dont mean I do anything or say anything at all, I see myself as a very polite and well, soft person. Maybe its because I personally don't understand it that I find it annoying”

“but like i said... not flamebaiting... just stating PERSONAL fact... anyone who has the freedom of speech to get pissy about it can go ahead…”

I like discussing sex, viewing sex, having sex with men more than women.
I do not know any gay people, so I have no firm opinion about their stereotypical behavior.
I am a masculine man who likes only masculine men and feminine women.
I am proud to have my personal preferences, personal facts and prejudices like all of you and try like all of you to see other points of view and cause no personal harm.

JEM


in the immortal words of wilford brimley...
"thank YOU for your support"

[stillconfused]

I've been on other sites where I was treated pretty shabbily because I'm bi and not 100% gay. But the internet isn't always a good approximation of reality. My hands down best M-M relationship was with a gay guy, my worst was with a bi that turned out to be married and cheating on everyone in his miserable life. No big lesson here, that's life, there's good people and bad people, it's your job to pick 'em.