Lost now

[tatooedpunk]

I would really appreciate some help on this, i took what i guess was a step to far the other night and had sex with another man. Dont get me wrong i have done this before but not since i was married (12 years ago) i feel really shit about it as i should as i cheated on my wife,but my point is i did not enjoy it to much. Not sure if it was the cheating or have i "grown out" of being bi.Though i do doubt the latter i would welcome any opinions

[rayosytruenos]

[...] as i cheated on my wife,but my point is i did not enjoy it to much. Not sure if it was the cheating or have i "grown out" of being bi.Though i do doubt the latter i would welcome any opinionsHi!

It could be your feelings of cheating what made you not enjoy your encounter or it may be a lot of other reasons, among them, the one you said about your sexuality having at this point moved a bit, although I'm not sure about this, as you are the best to answer this question, but keep in mind that if you had sex with that man I guess it's because you felt attracted to him or wished to have sex with him. Another completely different thing is that you didn't enjoy it that much (but as you said, "not to much"...). You don't enjoy sex with everyone the same. Some do it better than others, and even doing it with the same person, some sessions are much better than others, so having sex with a strange (?) man after 12 years without having sex with a man, and not having more actual encounters with other men at the present and also with him, you have not much where to compare, but not sure if you want to feel guilty again for cheating on your wife...

All the best,

ray

[JoyJoyHollywood]

I agree with Ray. It was probably your feelings of guilt that affected your pleasure. In fact, a lot of spouses who have engaged in relationships outside of their marriage have reported that they didn't really enjoy it that much.

[bikiniguy]

I agree some with the above and say this: I have had the same feeling after sex as you because of a female relationship. But further, it was the person I was with too..not because they were bad people but because I did not click with them-we just ended up in bed. As for the feelings, I find they come and go. Later Im really interested in guys and other times I dont care. When I care and find the guy I want to be with...its all good. So when you were with the guy-did you feel like you loved your wife any less? I mean did the guy make you want to love him like your wife? I figure he did not if you really loved her to begin with. Look to how much she loves you and how and think of how much you may lust after a guy which is different.

[DiamondDog]

You probably feel guilty since you cheated on your wife.

I think you'd feel this way even if you had sex with another woman instead of a guy.

This is one of the main reasons why I don't want to get involved in relationships with women or why I don't date them even if I do want sex with them.

I don't see myself marrying or getting heavily involved with a woman since even if we did have an open relationship in the beginning I doubt that it would stay open and she'd get jealous of me having sex with men.

[spartca]

Just FYI if you're concerned about STDs there are HIV tests now that only need a bit of saliva and have the results ready in 20 minutes or less. About 90% of cases can be detected within 2 weeks of infection.

Also, syphillis is making a comeback, so you might want to be tested for that too.

[dafydd]

Just FYI if you're concerned about STDs there are HIV tests now that only need a bit of saliva and have the results ready in 20 minutes or less. About 90% of cases can be detected within 2 weeks of infection.

Also, syphillis is making a comeback, so you might want to be tested for that too.

And if you didn't use a condom, for gawd's sake google PEP now.

d

[DiamondDog]

And if you didn't use a condom, for gawd's sake google PEP now.

d

Let's not jump to any conclusions.

He didn't say what type of sex that it was.

What if it was just making out and mutual masturbation? Or what if he just got serviced?

Both of those sex acts are VERY safe when it comes to not getting HIV and I don't know of any documented cases of people getting HIV from having sex that way.

What if he just did erotic bondage or SM? Or what if he just did W/S with someone? Or fisted them?

Erotic bondage and SM can also be VERY safe too (as long as there's no blood play or anything like that) as there's little/no fluid exchange between two or more partners for many of the things that are done.

W/S is pretty safe as long as you don't drink the urine as you can get hepatitis that way.

Unprotected fisting (without a latex glove) is techincally A LOT safer than unprotected anal sex (fucking or being fucked bareback), even if the fistee has more risk but the fister should take care of his fisting bottom and trim his nails, put on a latex glove, and go VERY slowly with lots of lube.

Yes you can get other STDs from getting oral sex but if your penis is healthy your chances of that are practically nil.

Also, peeing and washing your genitals afterwards can prevent you from getting some of the common STDs that can be passed on by oral sex.

Mutual masturbation is safer sex since there's not any fluid exchange, and you'd have to have huge oozing and bleeding gashes on your hands in order to actually get anything and who would want to have sex with you then? They'd just tell you to go to the hospital! LOL

Anyway I'd like to think that most queer people aren't as dumb and ignorant as heterosexual women and men can be about safer sex practises.

Even simple things like using a condom for any type of anal sex (even sharing toys), and not swallowing or letting anyone cum in your mouth.

My point is that we don't know what type of sex the original poster had with another guy so why jump to conclusions? Yes everyone should be tested but let's not jump to any conclusions about things we have no idea about.

[tatooedpunk]

Hey guys thanks for your replies,a little disapointed that no one gave me credit for staying safe.
Not the point though,you are probably right in the reasoning that cheating on my wife would have felt bad whatever