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View Full Version : Just need to say "thanks" to all for my strength



quiet1fornow
Jul 14, 2007, 12:20 PM
I, for those of you I have not tried to interject humor on in the main room of chat have just found this community. I am writing this to say thank you to it because I have had a lot of "things" that have happened over the last 18 months that have; as my Mother used to say, "..have a way of working out!"

I have almost become obsessed with being in the chat main room for comfort of others. I am 55, widower for almost 19 months now. I lost my wife to a deep, horrific clinical depression over a 10+ year battle... I lost the battle for her and the war as well. She chose to leave the horrible pain.

Ok, so why the thanks? Well, we were married for over 30 years. We were a couple. That being said the individual identity and preferences meld together and form a single approach to day to day, etc. We were great parents, it is the only thing I will brag on and take credit for, of a beautiful 26 yo daughter. ....I was in love and while as a younger person I had one experience with an older male, which my wife was aware of before we married...never did I stray or act or honestly have any curiosity desires during our marriage. I have not shared intimacy with another for years. Male or female ...ok just in case you are thinking..or anything else either. :-)

I believe I lived in shock the first year after her death. The last 6 months I have been rediscovering who I am and what as an individual do I desire in all aspects work, personal etc. I am getting to the thanks honest! :-)

I have been having only in the last couple of months drawings toward my bi curious questions and feelings. About two weeks ago today? I found this site. I felt a relief I do not believe I have had for years. You all have accepted me and allowed into your community.

This am, I had called a friend of many years that is gay and asked to meet him I needed to talk. We did meet this am. I had from the feeling of support from here the unrelenting need to tell someone what I had discovered of myself. He is a trusted friend. I told him and we talked and I felt a release of anxiety not all of it but a lot....I would never had drummed up the courage had it not been for you all here. I needed to unburden to someone face to face and he was honored I chose him to tell and our friendship is stronger for it. I felt the need as it is just incumbent from within me to do so. It is part of me.

drum roll.....Thank you for what you all may not have known you were giving me, but did unselfishly. I feel I am home.

I did read a thread on outing..this having just been my first ever to tell my truth....it is horrible for anyone to take that choice.

Thanks,

quiet1fornow ( terry- typo king and types way too much.. quiet but wordy...maybe that should be my nick?)

csrakate
Jul 14, 2007, 1:27 PM
One of the beauties of this site is the chance to be yourself and feel acceptance from a group of people. These people are strangers in many ways, but the amount of love and unconditional support they give is hard to put a value on and immediately they begin to feel like family...well...a dysfunctional family at times, but family none the less!! LOL!!!

I am so glad you have found some comfort here and in doing so, the ability to move ahead in your life after suffering through some very difficult years. Continue to know that we'll be here for you...when and if you need us!! You're a lovely addition to our community...welcome to the family! Now move over...you're sitting in my favorite chair!!! Sorry..but I don't give up my favorite chair..not even for family!! LOL!!

HUGS!
Kate

onewhocares
Jul 14, 2007, 1:37 PM
Terry,

You thanking US, rather it is we who thank you. You are the best of what this site has to offer. A place for a lost soul, one who is lost within themselves and often the confusion, doubt and unknown within themselves. There are so many wonderful people on this site who come here for such a variety of reason- far too many to list here. You have, at what I have come to believe is the right time and the right space come into your own and looked with in and come up with questions, and perhaps answers too. Always know that you can count on those folks here, be it for an answer, advice, assistance or the best thing ever....an ear to listen. That is my joy in being here. For I was given a warm and gracious welcome when I came nearly two years ago. We came to find a lover for my husband...what I found, in reality was ME. I have finally found the right path to the road of my future, a man whom I adore and love with my heart and soul and several dear friends whom I treasure more than gold.

Wishing you a warm welcome and a most heartfelt THANK YOU for your recent kind words and inspiration to me.

Belle

quiet1fornow
Jul 14, 2007, 3:59 PM
If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your
envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.

-- Glenn Clark

arana
Jul 14, 2007, 4:55 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss but am so happy to hear of your new found self. Congratulations on taking your big step this morning.

You've been a most welcome addition here and I've enjoyed seeing you in chat. I'm so glad that being here has helped you as I'm sure your presence helps many of us get through our lives. That's the beauty of this site and it's people, they are good for the heart and soul.

Best of luck to you on your journey!

Ally Kat
Jul 14, 2007, 5:47 PM
Quiet1, this is a wonderful place, and we are glad to have you join our little insane asylum

kitten
Jul 15, 2007, 4:29 AM
hugs to our sweet quiet1fornow!
I am so excited for you and thank you for sharing so much with us.
You are part of what makes our site strong and safe.

Now, really, get out of Kate's chair!

more hugs,

Doggie_Wood
Jul 15, 2007, 8:42 PM
My heart is out to you for the loss of your love of 30 years.
And I re-Welcome you to our and your online family/community.
I don't know if you can make it but you are more than welcome to meet with those of us that are going to Vegas in November. We would love to have you.
Best of luck to ya.

:doggie: