quiet1fornow
Jul 14, 2007, 12:20 PM
I, for those of you I have not tried to interject humor on in the main room of chat have just found this community. I am writing this to say thank you to it because I have had a lot of "things" that have happened over the last 18 months that have; as my Mother used to say, "..have a way of working out!"
I have almost become obsessed with being in the chat main room for comfort of others. I am 55, widower for almost 19 months now. I lost my wife to a deep, horrific clinical depression over a 10+ year battle... I lost the battle for her and the war as well. She chose to leave the horrible pain.
Ok, so why the thanks? Well, we were married for over 30 years. We were a couple. That being said the individual identity and preferences meld together and form a single approach to day to day, etc. We were great parents, it is the only thing I will brag on and take credit for, of a beautiful 26 yo daughter. ....I was in love and while as a younger person I had one experience with an older male, which my wife was aware of before we married...never did I stray or act or honestly have any curiosity desires during our marriage. I have not shared intimacy with another for years. Male or female ...ok just in case you are thinking..or anything else either. :-)
I believe I lived in shock the first year after her death. The last 6 months I have been rediscovering who I am and what as an individual do I desire in all aspects work, personal etc. I am getting to the thanks honest! :-)
I have been having only in the last couple of months drawings toward my bi curious questions and feelings. About two weeks ago today? I found this site. I felt a relief I do not believe I have had for years. You all have accepted me and allowed into your community.
This am, I had called a friend of many years that is gay and asked to meet him I needed to talk. We did meet this am. I had from the feeling of support from here the unrelenting need to tell someone what I had discovered of myself. He is a trusted friend. I told him and we talked and I felt a release of anxiety not all of it but a lot....I would never had drummed up the courage had it not been for you all here. I needed to unburden to someone face to face and he was honored I chose him to tell and our friendship is stronger for it. I felt the need as it is just incumbent from within me to do so. It is part of me.
drum roll.....Thank you for what you all may not have known you were giving me, but did unselfishly. I feel I am home.
I did read a thread on outing..this having just been my first ever to tell my truth....it is horrible for anyone to take that choice.
Thanks,
quiet1fornow ( terry- typo king and types way too much.. quiet but wordy...maybe that should be my nick?)
I have almost become obsessed with being in the chat main room for comfort of others. I am 55, widower for almost 19 months now. I lost my wife to a deep, horrific clinical depression over a 10+ year battle... I lost the battle for her and the war as well. She chose to leave the horrible pain.
Ok, so why the thanks? Well, we were married for over 30 years. We were a couple. That being said the individual identity and preferences meld together and form a single approach to day to day, etc. We were great parents, it is the only thing I will brag on and take credit for, of a beautiful 26 yo daughter. ....I was in love and while as a younger person I had one experience with an older male, which my wife was aware of before we married...never did I stray or act or honestly have any curiosity desires during our marriage. I have not shared intimacy with another for years. Male or female ...ok just in case you are thinking..or anything else either. :-)
I believe I lived in shock the first year after her death. The last 6 months I have been rediscovering who I am and what as an individual do I desire in all aspects work, personal etc. I am getting to the thanks honest! :-)
I have been having only in the last couple of months drawings toward my bi curious questions and feelings. About two weeks ago today? I found this site. I felt a relief I do not believe I have had for years. You all have accepted me and allowed into your community.
This am, I had called a friend of many years that is gay and asked to meet him I needed to talk. We did meet this am. I had from the feeling of support from here the unrelenting need to tell someone what I had discovered of myself. He is a trusted friend. I told him and we talked and I felt a release of anxiety not all of it but a lot....I would never had drummed up the courage had it not been for you all here. I needed to unburden to someone face to face and he was honored I chose him to tell and our friendship is stronger for it. I felt the need as it is just incumbent from within me to do so. It is part of me.
drum roll.....Thank you for what you all may not have known you were giving me, but did unselfishly. I feel I am home.
I did read a thread on outing..this having just been my first ever to tell my truth....it is horrible for anyone to take that choice.
Thanks,
quiet1fornow ( terry- typo king and types way too much.. quiet but wordy...maybe that should be my nick?)