Flirting

[dafydd]

Do girls flirt differently from guys? I usually notice if a guy is checking me out in the gym, but I rarely see a girl making eyes (now this could be for another reason ;) )

:cool:
d

[DiamondDog]

Most women aren't into flirting/cruising like men are.

Also they don't like it if you cruise/flirt with them like you would a man.

Research has shown that men and women communicate differently. No, this isn't the "women are from, venus men are from mars" BS either.

Just look at the posts on this site and you can see that.

I remember when a woman here on this site wrote about how she takes gifts to other women that she takes out on dates, even if they're blind dates, or coffee dates.

You don't see men doing this.

If a man gave me a gift and it was the first date, a blind date, or we were going out for a coffee date I'd thank him but I'd think that he was a little weird/trying to win me with gifts/money or that he does this to men or is materialistic, and I'd think that he is moving WAY too fast too soon since we don't really even know each other and here he is giving me an unexpected gift on our date and I don't have anything to give him back.

For myself I can tell if a man is into me without even speaking to him or opening my mouth but I am really good at reading body language and having excellent gay/bidar doesn't hurt either. :)

With women unless it's painfully obvious that a woman is hitting on me, like if a woman is throwing herself at me or wants to have a 1 night stand with me, or finds me attractive and I can read this in her face it's not obvious at all to me.

I do know that my hetero friends can somehow tell right away if a woman is interested in them or not or things like this that I have no idea about.

Women are socalized and taught by their parents, society, and popular culture at large to not be seen as a sex object, not to be sexual, or how being seen as attractive or having other people want you is a bad thing.

Look at the idea of the Madonna/Whore way of thinking about women.

However some women do use their sex appeal and their bodies to their advantage or to get what they want from other people.

[biwords]

aol.com just ran this some days ago, on female flirting styles:

Is she into you?
By Nina Malkin

Maybe in an alternate universe, women approach men by simply saying: “Hello! I find you ever so attractive and intriguing!” Not so much on this planet. Sure, some girls have sledgehammer flirting techniques and courting ploys, but most give off more subtle signals. And in case you’re wondering if one such lovely specimen is batting her eyes at you, here we slip you some tell-tale tip-offs.

The power of touch
Body language speaks volumes—and goes beyond the blatant hair toss. Shrugging the shoulders, flashing the wrists, massaging the neck and basically any kind of self-touching are all invitations to romance. “We stroke ourselves for two reasons,” says Tracey Cox, author of Superflirt. “To draw attention to a body part and to subconsciously tease the person watching.” So if she’s making you hot under the collar, it’s because she wants to—consider that a big green light.

Girlish antics
Dating may still feel like high school for good reason: Grown women can really regress around guys. The giggling. The blushing. The whispering to a friend from behind her hand. Her voice may even go a full octave higher. “Noticeable changes may result as one imagines the risks and rejection involved with a new interest,” says Molly Barrow, Ph.D., author of Matchlines: A Revolutionary New Way of Looking at Relationships and Making the Right Choices in Love. So take her girlish goofiness as a compliment—and don’t worry! “As the anxiety lessens, the behavior will improve,” Barrow says.

Express checkout
If a woman looks at you in a triangular pattern, going from one eye, then dipping to your mouth, chest or even lower, before traveling up to your other eye, she’s sizing you up big time. “Eye movement studies show we look at different parts of other people depending on the situation and level of attractiveness,” explains Cox. “With people we’re attracted to, the triangle broadens” to take on more of the face or body.

The Spanish inquisition
When a woman’s into you, she’ll grill you like a steak. “She’ll ask all about you—your work, your childhood, your likes and dislikes,” says Janice Hoffman, author of Relationship Rules. And if she asks about the future (for instance, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”), she’s scrutinizing your soul-mate potential. Granted, this 60 Minutes treatment tends to bother men. To counter this, ask her lots of questions—Hoffman says women can’t get enough of them as long as they’re not too personal.

Limited interruptions
Sometimes it’s what she doesn’t say that signals interest. “Refraining from interruption in conversation shows that your date has respect for you and is also probably interested in what you’re saying,” says Hoffman. So if she’s hanging onto your every word, then you’ve got her in your thrall.

Space invasion
Has she nudged her mojito closer to your beer? Resting her hand on your side of the table? Yep, she’s moving in on you. “We use our hands to signal interest by moving them into the other person’s personal space,” explains Cox. And if she’s fidgeting or fiddling with her drink, silverware, or something else on the table, even better: That means she’s got some nervous energy brewing and wants to touch you but can’t quite bring herself to span the divide just yet.

Innocent insults
Snide remarks like “Who said you could wear a shirt like that?” or “So you think you’re smart, huh?” might seem like bad news, but as long as the teasing is delivered with a smile, assume it’s playful banter. She’s dishing it out, but she most likely means the opposite—that she’s impressed by you.

Perpetual preening
Don’t mistake interest for vanity if your date seems to constantly check her reflection, fix her hair or smooth her outfit. Barrow believes these mini-grooming gestures means a woman isn’t self-obsessed but rather is just trying to look good to you.

Total recall
“Did you have that talk with your boss?” “How was the hockey game?” “Is your roommate feeling better?” If you’re hearing questions like these – follow-ups on things you mentioned recently – it’s a clear indication that your date really digs you. She remembers what you say and cares enough to inquire about what’s going on in your life.

Inconsequential contact
Before a first kiss is even on the agenda, a girl who’s hot for you will find excuses to touch you. A light slap of your knee when you say something funny, the brushing of lint off your lapel, a plucking at your sleeve—Hoffman says all these non-intimate bits of contact build trust and show she cares.

So now you know how to read between the lines and tell if a woman’s really into you. Use this information to your advantage!

Nina Malkin is the author of An Unlikely Cat Lady: Feral Adventures in the Backyard Jungle.

[dafydd]

For myself I can tell if a man is into me without even speaking to him or opening my mouth but I am really good at reading body language and having excellent gay/bidar doesn't hurt either. :)

With women unless it's painfully obvious that a woman is hitting on me, like if a woman is throwing herself at me or wants to have a 1 night stand with me, or finds me attractive and I can read this in her face it's not obvious at all to me.


I know what you mean. But is that because a) we've trained our gaydar that way, of b) are innately tuned into men, or c) because when men really like each other they just go straight for the sustained eye contact.

If a guy laughed at my jokes and lightly touched my knee I might think it a bit pervy. If a woman did the same thing it would be a major turn. weird


d

[dafydd]

aol.com just ran this some days ago, on female flirting styles:

Is she into you?
By Nina Malkin




Thanks for that!
Maybe I'm just not attractive to women.

d :(

[nnjbicoupleforplay]

If a man is shy and flirting he usually looks away when you look at him, if he is a more dominant guy he usually will touch you ie shoulders head hands maybe ass, if a woman is flirting and shy she usually does a small grin bats her eyes and waits for some response, if she's aggressive flirting she will talk more get in your face seductively and definately be touchy feely , just from our lifelong expereince and this example is solely for the use of blogs and personal enjoyment by all, there are exceptions to the rule and please flirt safely and use protection by all means, lol.

nnjbicouple4play

:female: :male: :bipride:

Have you hugged your bi-friend today??

[Hopeful Romantic]

I have to say that I found this fascinating and a bit frightening. Apparantly, not only do I NOT know how to flirt, I don't know when someone is flirting with me.


*hanging my head in shame*

[Fire Lotus]

I have to say that I found this fascinating and a bit frightening. Apparantly, not only do I NOT know how to flirt, I don't know when someone is flirting with me.


*hanging my head in shame*

I beg to differ m'lady. I'd say you do flirt (maybe subconsciously, but still...) and flirt quite well. As for you not knowing when someone is flirting with you, well....*wink*

[Tygress75]

Then again, it also depends on the type of woman. Some of the more butch types may not follow that laundry list of flirtation devices. The more femme may be inclinded to do so. In essence, trying to figure out if a gal likes you isn't going to be easy, but the general idea of genuine interest in what you say, "checking you out"/looking you up and down, and attempted/"accidental"/incidental physical contact are all positive signs.

wink, wink; nudge, nudge... LOL

[Vuarra]

I have to say that I found this fascinating and a bit frightening. Apparantly, not only do I NOT know how to flirt, I don't know when someone is flirting with me.


*hanging my head in shame*


Don't hang your head in shame.

I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts that you actually do know how to flirt, but you just don't know that you are flirting.

Learning to tell when someone is flirting with you is best taught by learning to tell when someone is flirting with someone else. People watching is a great way of spending time and learning about humanity as well.

Learning to flirt, as well as learning to date, is best approached with a wingman (winggal???) who is better at dating than you are.