Socializing And Party-like Situations

[Seth C]

I've posted about the queer prom earlier. It's tonight and I'm now getting ready as we type. Here's the situation: Youth up to the age of 25, queer or not (I'm 20 and queer); many wearing pirate costumes (such as I), no pressure to bring dates like the original prom tradition. Free food, no alcohol.

Me: Socially phobic, social anxiety disorder, general anxiety disorder and a past of agrophobia. And just horribly inexperienced when it comes to socializing.

Big party thing, local event, Queer event put on by an organization called Youth Project in Halifax and I don't know anyone there. How the hell does one even begin to socialize in that situation? Any party situation, really.

[Azrael]

Just relax and be yourself. Or smoke lots of weed, then go. That's how I roll :2cents:

[Herbwoman39]

Take a deep breath, walk up to someone you like and say casually "Hey. How's it goin? Wanna dance? (if there are others dancing of course).

I used to be incredibly socially phobic because I was afraid of looking like a total idiot. Then a very dear friend pointed out to me that if I could pretend to be outgoing, social and gregarious, that some part of me really WAS all those things I wished I could be.

I find that practicing in my head helps a great deal.

You're going to be just fine. Give yourself a chance. Stop worrying about how you'll come off to others and just be yourself. After all when someone falls for you, don't you want them to fall for the real you?

[elian]

As an introvert I have some trouble with these type of things too. Some people seem to be naturally outgoing but I would bet that there are other folks who may feel awkward and unsure of themselves too. If you happen to see someone who looks friendly when say - you are getting a drink then say hi - or better yet think of a neutral topic that you can both possibly relate to and bring it up (err.. "Do you like this song?") - if you talk for a while introduce yourself. It should be obvious if someone wants to talk or they don't. The inflection may change in their speech, they might point their feet in another direction or glance away a lot.

Look at it this way - at least you HAD the experience - there are a lot of folks who just don't live because they are afraid of getting hurt.

Most humans need social contact, but just like you a lot of us are afraid of being too vulnerable. I mean, you put yourself out there .. what if someone turns you down? It's ok..the best thing you can do is not take it personally. Go for a walk or a drink .. come back and try again with somebody else.

Dancing for example - sooner or later you just have to say "fuck it" and have some fun. Some people really CAN dance , but I think the majority of folks aren't that skilled - the important thing is to try to relax and be yourself.

As long as you're not tremendously obnoxious most people won't be rude I think..hopefully I'm right.

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

(((((((((((((((((((Seth baby )))))))))))))))))))))))))
I do hope you have a wonderful time. I used to suffer terribly from social anxiety , sometimes still do. But I found the more I made myself do things such as simply walking into a restuarant alone to meet a group got easier. At your age it would have killed me to walk into a dance alone, and I probably would have just not shown up lol So Im very proud of you, and I hope your living it up as we speak. I hope you are taking a camera and will share this event with us :bibounce:

[Azrael]

As an introvert I have some trouble with these type of things too. Some people seem to be naturally outgoing but I would bet that there are other folks who may feel awkward and unsure of themselves too. If you happen to see someone who looks friendly when say - you are getting a drink then say hi - or better yet think of a neutral topic that you can both possibly relate to and bring it up (err.. "Do you like this song?") - if you talk for a while introduce yourself. It should be obvious if someone wants to talk or they don't. The inflection may change in their speech, they might point their feet in another direction or glance away a lot.

Look at it this way - at least you HAD the experience - there are a lot of folks who just don't live because they are afraid of getting hurt.

Most humans need social contact, but just like you a lot of us are afraid of being too vulnerable. I mean, you put yourself out there .. what if someone turns you down? It's ok..the best thing you can do is not take it personally. Go for a walk or a drink .. come back and try again with somebody else.

Dancing for example - sooner or later you just have to say "fuck it" and have some fun. Some people really CAN dance , but I think the majority of folks aren't that skilled - the important thing is to try to relax and be yourself.

As long as you're not tremendously obnoxious most people won't be rude I think..hopefully I'm right.

I've struggled with panic and social anxiety for many years. You are correct. Just say fuck it and go. It's all about triumph of the will!