Site Seems Male-Dominated (to me)

[lubaloy]

Obligatory Disclaimer: I am male, I am a newbie (here), and (of course) I don't know a goddamn thing.

I might be wrong, but it seems this site is overwhelmingly dominated by males.

I thought so before registering, but I finally went ahead and did so hoping I was wrong and just not seeing the whole picture.

Now that I've been logging on for a few days, it appears my initial impression was correct: Males comprise the vast majority of the site membership.

On the one hand, this is OK if only because it is the way things are.

On the other, I have to admit it is very disappointing to me.

I don't know about anyone else here, but with regard to relationships and sexuality, I sometimes feel like a cornered animal.

Similarly, I have the impression this is just another one-way street "out" (which, of course, is no way out at all -- regardless of the "problem").

I find this extremely frustrating, particularly because to me, it feels just like another of a thousand doors that remain forever closed.

I suppose it's juvenile of me to continue hoping to find "Ms. Right", probably even more so to look for her here.

But I guess no one, including me, is perfect -- and I am quite sure I am very sad. :(

[the mage]

If you plan to use the interwebthingy to meet you Ms right you will be disappointed. Get out of the house an meet people.
You will always find way more men than women in anything sexually related, except for restricted to women only sites.

Fact of life....

the door is usually closed from the inside....

[biwords]

I'm sorry for your sadness, but your message isn't very clear, and I see you've posted almost no information about yourself in your profile. It sounds as though you're a straight guy looking to find a bi woman here. That's all I can glean, and I'm not even sure of that. So you might want to be clearer...

[TaylorMade]

Well luba, if you're patient, sometimes she shows. But don't stop looking outside; a balance between looking online and looking outside has to be struck.

*Taylor*

[The Cheshire Cat]

Funny, I was wondering the same thing earlier. Then, saw your thread.lol. I was talkin to a friend last nite about this very thing. Though a member of this site, he would love to be able to find woman for companionship or a long term relationship. He also has gone to the regular dating sites and put up an ad but-not mentioned he is bi. Seems to me a bi site should be a good place to look for a romantic long term relationship. Most ads seem to be "looking for a male(male) or woman(woman). Why not both? Is it that it just hasn't occurred to people that this might be just the site to find that perfect love...one that would not be scared away from the bi-factor? Just wonderin.....

[arana]

Could be because a lot of straight guys come here looking for that female to female fantasy and assume just because a woman is bi she'll want him to join in, just like in porn. Unfortunately for them that's not exactly how it works. Not always the case, but I see more men here that say they are "straight" looking for bi females then I have women looking for that bi-male.

[Skater Boy]

Ya, you're right... it IS male dominated. WHERE ARE ALL THE BISEXUAL WOMEN THESE DAYS?! You female members should bring some of your friends along to this here party. I mean in a friendly way... not just to hit on...

[Snowblind1]

If you're a bi female you don't really have to look for acceptance; it's very easy for a woman who is bi to find a male partner who will accept her bi tendencies.

With bi men, it's harder to find a woman who is willing to accept a man who has slept with other men.

As a result, women don't need any sort of specific site to go to; with as trendy as being 'bi' is for females (especially on the net) they can go anywhere -their problem is weeding out the guys who just want to see them go down on another women.

So that means that the people who are mostly like to need a site to meet up at, or even to be able to say "I'm bi" without getting hassled are going to be men.

Bi women are accepted at many more places.

[Skater Boy]

If you're a bi female you don't really have to look for acceptance; it's very easy for a woman who is bi to find a male partner who will accept her bi tendencies.

With bi men, it's harder to find a woman who is willing to accept a man who has slept with other men.

As a result, women don't need any sort of specific site to go to; with as trendy as being 'bi' is for females (especially on the net) they can go anywhere -their problem is weeding out the guys who just want to see them go down on another women.

So that means that the people who are mostly like to need a site to meet up at, or even to be able to say "I'm bi" without getting hassled are going to be men.

Bi women are accepted at many more places.

Yup, true indeed. Its a shame that Bi men don't have the same appeal to most women that Bi women have to most men. I have to admit that I know a few straight girls who wouldn't even CONSIDER going out with a Bi guy. But there are SOME sympathetic chicks... you just got search harder to find them...

[Snowblind1]

I have to admit that I know a few straight girls who wouldn't even CONSIDER going out with a Bi guy.
I was on a 'queer' forum where a straight girl said that she 'liked' bi guys but would never date one "because they're all really gay". :eek:

That's when I decided I needed to look for a place where there are other bi guys at. :cool:

[Skater Boy]

I was on a 'queer' forum where a straight girl said that she 'liked' bi guys but would never date one "because they're all really gay". :eek:

That's when I decided I needed to look for a place where there are other bi guys at. :cool:

It would be interesting to see/hear the statistics:

Do most Bi WOMEN eventually settle down with MEN?

And...

Do most Bi MEN eventually settle down with WOMEN?

I'd be willing to bet that most of the Bi females settle down with MEN, but most of the Bi males ALSO settle down with MEN.

Hmm, wonder if thats true, or just imaginary...

[Pensive]

Ironically if I was looking for a relationship on the internet, it'd be with another guy. For girls, it seems unlikely that I'd meet one on this website that would click with me and be anywhere near my area. I'd rather just go out and meet them face-to-face.

But for boys, the internet is a much safer way to start things off, especially if you're not out yet.

[Snowblind1]

It would be interesting to see/hear the statistics:

Do most Bi WOMEN eventually settle down with MEN?

And...

Do most Bi MEN eventually settle down with WOMEN?

I'd be willing to bet that most of the Bi females settle down with MEN, but most of the Bi males ALSO settle down with MEN.

Hmm, wonder if thats true, or just imaginary...
My longest relationships have been with women; I haven't had one with men that's lasted longer than a few months.

[bigulfcpl]

Maybe it is me, but, I really don't understand the purpose here. So what if it is a male-dominated site, it is Bisexual.com, not a swinging site, not a pick up site.

We are both bisexual, and we are a couple. My fiancee accepts me as a bisexual male, and I accept her as a bisexual female. Our FIRST priority is each other, and our love is prominent.

We are swingers, and believe me, telling people that I am a bisexual male receives a lot of different responses. We are on swingers sites, and I do list myself as BI. If people have an issue with me being bisexual, that is THERE issue, not mine. We probably would not want to meet those people anyway.

Like others have stated, if what you are looking for is just a woman, this may be the wrong site for you, but, it could be the right site, with the right attitude. We have chatted with people here, and if we meet up with some of them, that would be awesome!

This site is very open, and people here are geniune, and that is why we are members of this fine community.

My :2cents:

[The Cheshire Cat]

I went back and re-read what he said,very slowly. I still have the impression that he is looking for a long term relationship with a woman that would except him for who he is. Not an easy thing to do (out in the world) should be easier on a bi site. My impression is (from thumbing thru the bios) that a whole lot of bi men are married....to women. :tong:

[bigulfcpl]

My impression is (from thumbing thru the bios) that a whole lot of bi men are married....to women. :tong:

ABSOLUTELY!!! I used to be one of those men, and guess what? I got a divorce! Now, I am with a woman who knows from day 1, and has seen me with another man, and vice versa. That is the excitement when we swing, to see each other with the SAME sex!!!

[Fire Lotus]

It would be interesting to see/hear the statistics:

Do most Bi WOMEN eventually settle down with MEN?

And...

Do most Bi MEN eventually settle down with WOMEN?

I'd be willing to bet that most of the Bi females settle down with MEN, but most of the Bi males ALSO settle down with MEN.

Hmm, wonder if thats true, or just imaginary...
There was a time, way back when, I was in a long term, mono relationship with a women. We bounced thoughts around about being 'married'. (This was in California, so we couldn't be legally married) I would have been quite content to have settled down with her. But we broke up.

Since then, I have met and married a man. It wasn't planned that way. I wasn't in search of that kind of relationship. If I had continued my relationship with the woman and followed through with getting married, I may not have met my husband. But my life didn't happen that way. None of it was planned. It just *is*.

Incidentally, for some of you who may not know, my husband is also bi. I am quite okay with that. :)

[rissababynta]

my hubby and i are both bi and we are both ok with it and happy...and it actually was planned that way...


although we are both bi, we could never be with the same sex the way that we are together. for instance, i would love to have a girlfriend. if all went well i wouldn't mind being with her for as long as we felt we should be. BUT...i also know that it would end there. it would never really progress and nor would i want it to.


i can't speak for all of the bisexual men and women in the world but atleast for us, we are a bi man settled down with a bi woman and vice versa.

[DiamondDog]

It would be interesting to see/hear the statistics:

Do most Bi WOMEN eventually settle down with MEN?

And...

Do most Bi MEN eventually settle down with WOMEN?

I'd be willing to bet that most of the Bi females settle down with MEN, but most of the Bi males ALSO settle down with MEN.

Hmm, wonder if thats true, or just imaginary...

It's completely different for everyone.

You can't say that most bi men will fall in love with women or that they'll settle down with men.

Some people (like myself for example) can fall in love with both genders even if we do happen to probably lean a bit more towards men for romance/sex/relationships, or I'll be mostly equal. I've written a lot on this subject, see here: http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3818

Others only fall in love with one gender while they only want sex with the same/opposite gender.

I get asked this question constantly "who are you going to settle down with?" and I just tell people how I have absolutley no idea how to answer this.

I've had more dating/relationships/sex with men and yes it is deeper and more intense than with women. Women seem harder for me to connect with both in general for communication and emotionally. Also I don't claim to understand or know their bodies like I do with men.

Anyway, why does it matter if this site is male dominated or more men than women post here?

I'm looking for friends and people to date and Mr. Right (maybe just maybe Ms. right but I doubt I'd even find someone like that); but I don't have much faith in internet dating or meeting people online.

I honestly don't care if this site is male dominated since queer men get such a bad rap by heterosexual society.

[JoyJoyHollywood]

Well, I'm very new too, but I'll say this. Everyone has gone out of their way to be nice to be. All of them.

And, I know that I'm maybe not in this position, but I've noticed that some of the girls don't say much at all. Cause I went through the member's list. (It's a long story-I din't know what...don't ask)

But, they are really all very nice, at least they have been to me.

Maybe the girls are just busy. They might not be around right now.