Ex boyfriend

[karmella321]

I recently hooked up with an ex boyfriend, the sex was incredible now I can't get him out of my mind, problem is I still love my girlfriend, do I tell her?

[raistkit]

commonsense tells me not to reply to your post. however what i'de like you to do is put yourself in your gf shoes for just a minute. if she's bi she'll understand on some level. if not honesty is still the best policy. does she know your bi? just my :2cents: kit

[DiamondDog]

Yes you should tell her.

Unless you have a "don't ask don't tell" policy and are in an open relationship you should tell especially if you cheated on her or you're in an open honest relationship where you talk about everything with your girlfriend.

[ohbimale]

I agree with DiamondDog. :flag3: :male: :male:

[hudson9]

Geez, people...

Yes, honesty is the best policy.
Yes, a good relationship relies on trust.

But, can we temper these principles with a little real-world common sense and self-examination???

Do you love your girlfriend?
Would she be devastated by this revelation?
Would this revelation help her, or assuage your own guilt?

You have already hurt your relationship. Do you want to put a stake through it's heart? You need to do some serious self-examination before you burden someone you love with your shit. You need to answer these questions:

Can I be in a monogamous relationship, or am I not ready for that?
Does my girlfriend expect this to be a monogamous relationship, or do we need to discuss monogamy in all it's implications (other men, other women)?

What you need to be honest about is the nature of your relationship and wether you can deal with its boundaries. If you have transgressed, it is your transgression, not hers. If you want to continue a monogamous relationship with your girlfriend (and if that is indeed what she wants/expects), then you need to "repent and sin no more!" The guilt of your actions is yours to bear, not hers. If you love her, you will bear the burden of your guilt, not ask her to bear it.

If you think you will not be able to be monogamous (to her as an individual, or to her gender), then your responsibility is to discuss THAT with your girlfriend, and either come to some agreement/understanding, or agree to move on.

These are not easy discussons or decisions. Welcome to life.
:2cents:

[deletetacount123]

I recently hooked up with an ex boyfriend, the sex was incredible now I can't get him out of my mind, problem is I still love my girlfriend, do I tell her?

Do you really have to ask that??

If you love your girlfriend, yes BE HONEST!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know if you told her you were bisexual and what her thoughts were on that but if she didn't know, then you cheated on her. Thats wrong :(

Im sorry but cheating IS wrong and thoughless.... unless she's ok with you sleeping with guys. If not then ya, she's gonna feel very hurt whenever you tell her or not (she could find out and it'll hurt even more.)

Tasha

[Herbwoman39]

Yes you have to tell her! You screwed up and now you've got to pay the Piper dearie.

[jem_is_bi]

I agree with hudson9.
If I was in your situation, I would decide what I was all about before discussing the transgression. Otherwise, when she questions your commitment to her, you won’t know what to say. To questions she might ask your answers may be: “I don’t know” or “I am not sure”. I do not think these are good answers to important questions about a relationship. Right now you have a major relationship problem. I wish you a lot of luck and mutual understanding.

JEM

[darkeyes]

If only life was so simple and relationships so easy we could all be perfectly honest with our partners. Sadly reality intervenes, and however much we think we know our partners we can never be sure of just how they will react especially when faced with a revelation such as this.

'Fessin up to being naughty with someone other than our partner is an awful dilemma and full of risk. We have to think whether we are going to repeat the indiscretion or is it likely to be a one of.. how deep are the feelings for the other person.. whether here we have real feelings or just a case of the grass being greener only you can judge.

Not doing so is also fraught with difficulty and there is never an easy answer to this. We never know when by keeping secrets they will rise up and bite us on the arse and in the long term do even greater damage by an early confession . These things can lie a long time before by some devious trick of fate the truth is revealed. Our actions and body language so often give us away so the question is can you live with it and not give it away yourself?

God knows Im no angel and have been in just this situation. I have also been the injured party and it is likely though not certain that she has some inkling, even if as yet she doesnt know of what.

I cant give you a tell or dont tell answer because there is no such thing. But you do have my sypmathy and understanding and love and hope that it somehow can be worked out for the best for both you and your girl friend. I can give no better answer than this because quite simply I dont know. Much depends not only on your knowledge of your girl friend but on your knowledge of yourself and yor ability to live with what you have done.