Needing advice!

[GMD1082]

First of all, I'm new to this site. I am 24. I have a boyfriend who allows me to explore my bi side (whenever something finally does happen, that is).

Onto my issue... I have been out for almost 3 years, but have known something different about me for years. I obviously confirmed myself as bi when I came out, which I kissed a female friend (who is bi and 23) to do so and have been wanting experience so bad since. BUT the female I kissed, I already liked in my "confused" state and then even more afterwards. The thing that is keeping me from doing anything is that I'm such a shy person, and I really want to get over that and it's been hard. She directly teases me and gives me hints, and there's a lot of chances (I have missed) too.


I also have another crush who is friends with me and the female mentioned above. She kissed me on my last birthday and that triggered that crush, but she is also the young (20) and confused type of person. Those two have been all over each other at times, and I kinda feel left out. There are times where she directly teases me, or they both do at the same time.

HELP! It's driving me crazy! I dont know if #1 and #2 are serious or just messing with my head either. What do I do with #1, #2, or both?

Sorry if this doesnt make sense or it's all over the place, it's lateee.

[kitten]

Congratulations on finding yourself and coming out!

Taking a chance involves risk. Gaining experience in life no matter the subject involves risk and change. Sometimes good and somtimes not so good. But if you never try, you know the result - nothing or frustration at always wondering "what if".

One of my favorite songs is called "The Dance". In it the person describes taking chances and losing a friend/partner. The main line is "I could've missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance".

Think about other life chances you have taken and the success that you have had. Then, think about the worst thing that could happen. So, they may be playing with you. Play back and have some fun, be safe, grow and learn. Trust your gut feeling. If it feels right, give it a shot. If it doesn't work out, lesson learned, pick yourself up and move on.

Hugs and best wishes to you!

[Vuarra]

Have you asked yourself what you want? Most people plan out what they want on their answering machine than who they want to date.

[the mage]

It seems the cat's outa the bag here, :rolleyes: so theres no harm in a horny little e mail to your wanted one admitting to shyness and also how much you want to be taken.....An unlocked door ... dim lights....

Hmm scuse me gotta go....

[Luvboth]

A simple solution to your problem. The next time they tease or kiss you let your hands do some roaming. a little caressing often opens a lot doors. If nothing occurs no harm is done but your feelings will be known to the other and in time they may surprise you.

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

Sometimes you just had to be a little more aggressive, next time one of them begins to tease you, take it to the next level. Kind of like calling their bluff.

[GMD1082]

Sorry with the slow reply. I have been really busy.

Thanks for all of the advice. I appreciate it a lot. I'll try whenever I see them next, which is pretty unpredictable.

Those two just confuse the hell out of me, and it tortures my mind and then I analyze everything like crazy. I probably drive my boyfriend crazy when I do that. haha. It would be great if things came out positive, but I gotta stop being so nervous and paranoid about it somehow.

[Dolmance]

I dont think its such a serious issue, shyness is daunting but it is so, so fun to overcome.
If your cool and open with your boy then theres no probs, if you want these girls then just take the leap of faith as the people say, they wouldnt tease you so blatantly if they didnt want you to react to it.
I agree with the peeps here, go with it, so much in life is just feeling your way through lol.

[GMD1082]

I dont think its such a serious issue, shyness is daunting but it is so, so fun to overcome.
If your cool and open with your boy then theres no probs, if you want these girls then just take the leap of faith as the people say, they wouldnt tease you so blatantly if they didnt want you to react to it.
I agree with the peeps here, go with it, so much in life is just feeling your way through lol.



My shyness appeared again in full force once I came out in the beginning. It's very annoying since I want to be brave lol. But I have gotten over it before, so hopefully I can again.

When #2 kissed me on my birthday, she asked me why I was so tense. I didnt mean to be, that's just the shyness. The fact I havent done much makes me still feel new to it, hence the issues. Even tho, she did offer to help me out the day after, and didnt believe that I liked her and probably still doesnt. She thinks I'm a little too crazy over #1 to also like her.

[Vuarra]

My advise is to think, "What's the worst that's going to happen?" should you start touching a little more... obviously, I agree to a earlier post.

I highly doubt that either will strike you for touching other body parts while kissing. The worst that will happen is that the other person is going to ask why you're touching her.

Answer: BE COOL

"My hand slipped."

Not "Sorry", or "It won't happen again". Why not? Because it depends on HOW she asked you the question... and odds are you'll be able to tell the difference between casual curiosity and anger. You'll also be able to gauge her reaction by what she does when you slide a hand around her waist, or down her back. If she starts doing stuff that says she digs it, then you'll know... if she still keeps her lips on yours, but moves her body away, well, you'll know, too.

Remember, dancing leads to kissing and kissing leads to sex. You're already kissing. Hands have this tendency to caress the kissee. It happens. All you have done is continued on the Mating Dance... you'll have to see how the other person reacts to continue it.

[GMD1082]

My advise is to think, "What's the worst that's going to happen?" should you start touching a little more... obviously, I agree to a earlier post.

I highly doubt that either will strike you for touching other body parts while kissing. The worst that will happen is that the other person is going to ask why you're touching her.

Answer: BE COOL

"My hand slipped."

Not "Sorry", or "It won't happen again". Why not? Because it depends on HOW she asked you the question... and odds are you'll be able to tell the difference between casual curiosity and anger. You'll also be able to gauge her reaction by what she does when you slide a hand around her waist, or down her back. If she starts doing stuff that says she digs it, then you'll know... if she still keeps her lips on yours, but moves her body away, well, you'll know, too.

Remember, dancing leads to kissing and kissing leads to sex. You're already kissing. Hands have this tendency to caress the kissee. It happens. All you have done is continued on the Mating Dance... you'll have to see how the other person reacts to continue it.



I really appreciate all of the advice that I have received... but now if only I can see those two more often. #1 lives an hour and a half away and #2 lives an hour away. Distance sucks very much, and we usually hang out in my boyfriend's area and that's like a half way point in a way.

Ohh.. for your previous question, I have figured out what I want sometime ago except I just have to be brave and act on it.

[donnajeffrenne]

hi gina , all i can tell you is that our heart and our head have 2 different adgendas, we can confuse infatuation and even lust for something that insn't necessary there for the person u are attracted to.So explore and always wear your parachute so when it falls apart you can safely land! Emotionally that is! Take care!

[GMD1082]

hi gina , all i can tell you is that our heart and our head have 2 different adgendas, we can confuse infatuation and even lust for something that insn't necessary there for the person u are attracted to.So explore and always wear your parachute so when it falls apart you can safely land! Emotionally that is! Take care!


Yeah, I saw those two on the 4th at a friends party. Of course, it was a fun tease fest as usual... but I have noticed they are torturing me more than usual each time I see them lately. I want to have a serious talk with both or at least one of them very soon. I was going to on the 4th except I was wasted after 2 drinks (thanks to my boyfriend mixing my first drink. haha). Instead, I was just making comments here and there since my mouth is bad in a good way in that state. Then I had a freak out fest with my boyfriend after those two left, that was interesting and he talked even more sense into me.

But yeah, I seriously need to make my move of talking asap. Maybe this weekend? We will see...


Thanks for the advice, btw!

[welickit]

You never get the gold if you don't go for the gold. Better to die saying I am glad I did that.........rather than saying I wish I had done it.

[Tygress75]

Everyone here has posted some great advice. I'm just another :2cents: in the mix. Consider taking a good listen to the song by Jon Bon Jovi titled "It's My Life." The point? Instead of letting these gals drive you up 1 wall and down another, start to join in the game. No more watching from the sidelines! I'm sure extreme shyness is a major P.I.T.A. to overcome, but I honestly don't think you'll run into problems if you start to act more physical since these gals keep teasing you into a frenzy at every get-together.

You know what you want, now it's time to go and get it! Take charge, and remember you're doing this because, in the end, it's going to be a PLEASURABLE experience! ;)

A fellow N. IL resident...

[GMD1082]

Thanks for the last two posts of advice! I appreciate it as always!

Nothing happened this weekend, btw. There were no good chances of talking. It was a stressful and tiring weekend, but had it's fun moments. Who knows when I'll see them next now. With the negative mood of the weekend still lingering, I am feeling pretty hopeless and etc. :(