When was the FIRST time you realised you were Bi?

[Skater Boy]

So... when was the FIRST time you realised you were Bi?

Thats a tricky question for me, because I pretty much kept that part of me "compartmentalized". In other words, I never acknowledged it openly, but also, I think I kept it secret from myself for a while too.

Probably the first "sign" that I remember was when I was about 15 or 16... me and a bunch of guys went for a drink and smoke at a local park, and eventually our recreational use of drugs got the better of us...

We decided (for some reason) to pretend we were all gay, and began rolling about in the grass in a way that probably wouldn't have happened had we been sober. We still had our clothes on though.

Anyway, I think it was just "a bit of fun" for the other guys, and I doubt they got much out of it. But I still wonder to this day whether they realised that I had a major stiffy at the time. probably not, as we hung around together for quite a while after that...

Despite all this I still don't think I became completely conscious of my whole sexuality for a bit longer. But I think that was the point where I had at least some idea of what I was.

Anyway, just thought I'd share. If anyone else can remember when it "dawned upon them", feel free to do the same.

[DiamondDog]

Hmmmm I knew when I was 12 or younger and I'd look at bikers, mechanics, rednecks, hairy butch blue collar men, and truckers and get REALLY sexually excited and I used to jack off thinking about my friend's trucker dad and his long beard!

I was "sexual" with guys as a kid it wans't like rape or molestation or anything like that and I was told it was normal and that lots of guys did that by my parents when I got caught masturbating with a friend and I was really young and being sexual with guys wasn't doing much other than like watching each other masturbate, "accidentally" grabbing someone's penis, getting fingered or doing that to someone, putting a plastic toy thermometer in someone's butt, or "accidentally" kissing, and peeing with someone.

All the guys I did that stuff with turned out to be hetero. I have looked back and thought about how if I'd known about oral sex how I would have given it to my one friend and I remember when I was in 5th grade how a friend and I would j/o together and at first I wasn't too sure about it since I was afraid we'd get caught (like I had before with another friend), and he said how if we didn't j/o together how he'd tell everyone at school that I masturbated and I remember thinking "Gee, well what do you think we're doing NOW together????". I also remember that had I been more open about it I would have rubbed my cock on his and I love doing this with men when I have sex with them as an adult!

At 12 I remember looking at porn pictures of naked hairy men kissing in an outdoor shower and this has become ingrained to my memory and I still find outdoor showers, bearded/hairy men kissing to be sexy, and I love to kiss men who are this way like me!

Also when I was 13 I was in a public bathroom at a mall and I saw a HOT guy with a snakeskin jacket, a hunting knife, and a rugged/handsome chiseled face and I watched him piss (not directly looking at his cock, I was just hearing him and watching his body) and it was the sexiest thing I'd EVER seen at the time! Even as an adult I can still get aroused to hearing/watching/smelling men and women piss.

I also remember being turned on by this girl I grew up in my neighborhood with and those types of men and some guys I went to school with that are my age. I think that was in jr highschool, I know it was before highschool and after elementary school.

I knew for sure at 16 with the label and all when I saw a HOT guy and thought about him blowing me and touching his red flattop and rubbing my cock all through his red goatee and stache!

I'd also jerk off thinking about fucking a hot feminine woman with a sexy bearish hairy math teacher I knew in highschool and thinking about blowing him and masturbating all over his hirsute body!

I guess most people realize it when they first have sex with someone of the same/opposite gender or with both at the same time but I've known about my sexuality for a long time and having sex with men and women as an adult just confirmed what I always knew.

[darkeyes]

Hmmmm I knew when I was 12 or younger and I'd look at bikers, mechanics, rednecks, hairy butch blue collar men, and truckers and get REALLY sexually excited and I used to jack off thinking about my friend's trucker dad and his long beard!

I was "sexual" with guys as a kid it wans't like rape or molestation or anything like that and I was told it was normal and that lots of guys did that by my parents when I got caught masturbating with a friend and I was really young and being sexual with guys wasn't doing much other than like watching each other masturbate, "accidentally" grabbing someone's penis, getting fingered or doing that to someone, putting a plastic toy thermometer in someone's butt, or "accidentally" kissing, and peeing with someone.

All the guys I did that stuff with turned out to be hetero. I have looked back and thought about how if I'd known about oral sex how I would have given it to my one friend and I remember when I was in 5th grade how a friend and I would j/o together and at first I wasn't too sure about it since I was afraid we'd get caught (like I had before with another friend), and he said how if we didn't j/o together how he'd tell everyone at school that I masturbated and I remember thinking "Gee, well what do you think we're doing NOW together????". I also remember that had I been more open about it I would have rubbed my cock on his and I love doing this with men when I have sex with them as an adult!

At 12 I remember looking at porn pictures of naked hairy men kissing in an outdoor shower and this has become ingrained to my memory and I still find outdoor showers, bearded/hairy men kissing to be sexy, and I love to kiss men who are this way like me!

Also when I was 13 I was in a public bathroom at a mall and I saw a HOT guy with a snakeskin jacket, a hunting knife, and a rugged/handsome chiseled face and I watched him piss (not directly looking at his cock, I was just hearing him and watching his body) and it was the sexiest thing I'd EVER seen at the time! Even as an adult I can still get aroused to hearing/watching/smelling men and women piss.

I also remember being turned on by this girl I grew up in my neighborhood with and those types of men and some guys I went to school with that are my age. I think that was in jr highschool, I know it was before highschool and after elementary school.

I knew for sure at 16 with the label and all when I saw a HOT guy and thought about him blowing me and touching his red flattop and rubbing my cock all through his red goatee and stache!

I'd also jerk off thinking about fucking a hot feminine woman with a sexy bearish hairy math teacher I knew in highschool and thinking about blowing him and masturbating all over his hirsute body!

I guess most people realize it when they first have sex with someone of the same/opposite gender or with both at the same time but I've known about my sexuality for a long time and having sex with men and women as an adult just confirmed what I always knew.
suspected it soon as me know summat bout sex... very young ne way... always wondered wy me gazed at girls as much if not more than lads.. bout 7 or 8..didn know wot is wos called tho..knew?? bout 13 or 14

[TaylorMade]

I had a lingering conciousness and an obsession with women's breasts since the age of 5 or so, but I guess I don't count that because I wasn't sure WHAT it was my mind was dealing with.

I count The Moment I Knew For Sure. I was 16. I knew I liked guys, but they didn't like me much. I was a little insecure and a little lonely, and used the comfy waterbed in my brother's room to escape and read. I remember the space between the wall and the edge of the bed. I dropped a book between that space, and I found - -my brother's stash of British and American porn mags. I just remember the first two titles I looked at - -Escort and Hustlers Busty Beauties... and I was totally immersed. I didn't learn how to masturbate to orgasm till 6 months after that point, but I came close quite a few times that day, I was scared to death to cum. Don't know why.

All I knew is after that point, I was obsessed with "knowing for sure" that I was bi because sometimes I'd want men, and sometimes I'd want women, but for a long time, I only could cum thinking of a girl.

*Taylor*

[Skater Boy]

I dropped a book between that space, and I found - -my brother's stash of British and American porn mags. I just remember the first two titles I looked at - -Escort and Hustlers Busty Beauties... and I was totally immersed. I didn't learn how to masturbate to orgasm till 6 months after that point, but I came close quite a few times that day, I was scared to death to cum. Don't know why.

All I knew is after that point, I was obsessed with "knowing for sure" that I was bi because sometimes I'd want men, and sometimes I'd want women, but for a long time, I only could cum thinking of a girl.

Haha, yeah, I found one of my brother's porn videos when I was about 12 or so. It was a just a video tape with "The Running Man" written on the side, so one day, I thought, hey... I haven't seen "The Running Man" for ages and sat down to watch it. lets just say that Arnie was no-where to be seen!!! It was a hetero porn vid though. But that suited me, because I got to see both a girl and a guy going at it. I'm really not sure if I was paying more attention to the girl or guy... I was pretty much a hetero at that stage of my life, but there was probably a hidden curiosity in the back of my mind about guys. but I did get off on watching the video... I quite liked being voyeuristic on hetero sex... and I suppose I still do...

[warmpuppy]

I was 10. My cousin took me behind the school. He dropped my shorts, started playing with my pee-pee and kissed me. I remember it feeling nice. I still had my young crushes on some of the girls in the area, but I always looked forward to those kissing and touching encounters. He turned out to be totally gay.

It wasn't until I had been in the AF for 12 years that I actually had my first total man-love experience.

[Skater Boy]

I was 10. My cousin took me behind the school. He dropped my shorts, started playing with my pee-pee and kissed me. I remember it feeling nice.

LOL, with your COUSIN no less! Now if I were a moral man, I might judge you on that, but I'm not, so I won't...

[Johnny Reb]

When I was about 13, I got ahold of my dad's old hustlers and playboys. I liked what I saw. I took my friends into the camper, and we took off our pants to masterbate. I liked what I saw there too. I didn't understand what it meant to be bi or what bi was. I just knew I liked what I saw all around....so we made out.

[ohbimale]

I was around 11 or 12 years old. My parents enrolled me in swimming class. There was this one boy who liked to masturvate after swim class. So we started masturbating together. I liked the way his cock felt in my hand.

Later I started waking off to pics of guys and girls. I got a stiffy at the drop of a hat if a guy or girl turned me on. At that point - around 12 - I knew I was not hetero, but had no idea what it was called. Later in my twenties I came to the realization I am bisexual. All my life I have always been turned on by both sexes, most times more by men. It was not until I was 26 that I got to have my first male lover, while I had 3 female lovers too - not all together though. I have only had one sexual encounter with two others and that MMF encounter was very enjoyable. :male: :male: :bipride:

[meteast chick]

I remember just being absolutely enamored with glamorous women as a child, and when I came into my sexuality I was turned on by these women and didn't know what it meant. I first had sex with a man (boy, really), when I was a month shy of 15 and that same year I told my cousin aka best friend that I liked girls too but didn't know what to do about it. She confessed that too but we always kept it between us.

I always said I was bi to those in my bed but really no more than bicurious. Last year at age 28, upon the demise of my marriage I finally came out to my best friend as officially bisexual. She said "FINALLY!!!!" I'll go as far as to say that I think I lean more homosexual than heterosexual but only time will tell on that one, until then...I can I like the term homoflexible!!!

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxox
meteast

[Skater Boy]

Nice profile photos Meteast... I have to admit that I kinda regret getting my tatoos... but hey, I was young and stoopid... Maybe I'll get 'em lasered off one day...

[mike9753]

As I thought about your question I'd have to say it happened twice - over time. When I was in college in the 60's I went to a gay bath. I think I knew what it was before I went. Anyway I had an incredible experience. But I felt guilty about it as many guys do the first time. But I think at some level I knew that I enjoyed sex with men, as well as friendships with me - in addition to my attraction for women both sexually and interpersonally. But I didn't know what to call it - this feeling I had for both sexes.

As the years went on, I had a few other experiences - mild ones. A little oral action with a guy, who like me was curious, and decided not to reciprocate and left the encounter - leaving me satisfied that I had enjoyed him, but dissatisfied that I had not gotten to know him.

Then I got married and was faithful to my wife until she decided she wanted a divorce. When things deteriorated to the point where I knew it was over, I began to explore again. I guess at this point I came face to face with the reality that I was turned on by m2m sex. I had called a phone sex line and the woman was dominant. She helped me explore my fantasies which included same sex SEX. At the time, I had many close friends who were heterosexual and all married, so there was no opportunity to explore a male relationship of an intimate but non-sexual nature, but the fantasies were incredible.

Then I met another woman. I am married to her now. She and I have had a wonderful marriage. But she has become plagued with a variety of physical problems which make it very hard for her to feel sexual at all. We go for long periods without being sexually intimate and when we do, I have the feeling that she is participating just because she loves me, not because she feels any sexual arousal.

So this has spurred me to again explore my feelings for men and for sex with men. I now know that if I were single again I would be open to relationships with men and with women - it would be with the person, regardless of their sex. I feel I can have a successful sexual relationship with members of either sex.

My wife and I have talked about this to some degree. She has frequently seen me on this website and w have talked about my feelings. She knows how much I love her and that I would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage - but she also knows that I am very sexual and am open to a variety.

So I think I have come to grips with my orientation. It's taken a lifetime. A little trial and error. A lot of soul searching.This website has been great in helping me explore this - and in learning about the struggle that others have gone thru.

Mike

[TheThreeOfUs]

I was in high school, staying at my best friends house, she got undressed to get in the shower and I thought HOLY CRAP LOOKIE THERE!!! LOL Once I saw her I had feelings I hadnt thought about before but I knew right then, I was bi. Thinking back on the moment, damn she was hot!

[Nate22]

Hi, this is my first post.

To be honest, since I've felt any sort of sexual feelings they've been for both genders. I don't really remember a first time as such, I just took it as normal. Of course I still kept it quiet.

[Skater Boy]

Hi, this is my first post.

Welcome to the forum, Nate!!! :) Nice to see there are some more Bi men in London.

[bohemian69]

Looking back at my life, I realized that I was bi from a young age. During high school, I dated just girls, but did not fully understand my attraction to the guys.
It was not until after I had graduated that I began to explore my bi side. I really did not think of it as bi or gay sex, to me it as really hot sex that felt really good.
I guess I still look at it that way even now. :flag1:

[swans]

In my mid teens on a camping holiday with a school mate. After bothe getting drunk we just ended up sucking each others cocks as though it was the most natural thing to do together. And we both loved it so much, especially at the end when we finished each other off in a 69 eating each others hot thick young cum.

[Pensive]

I was always really curious as a kid, so the moment I found out about porn (I was probably about 10), I started to look around the internet (my family has always been very big on technology, so we had internet access long before it was something everyone had) to learn more about it. It didn't really start out as something sexual, but curiousity shifted into just plain old horniness. At first I was very big into normal hetero porn, but I have always had an attraction towards what is forbidden, so eventually I started getting into pornography that was less vanilla and more exotic. I eventually realized that I was very turned on by young men in a submissive position, especially to other men.

At first I went through a huge denial phase where I told myself "I just like it because I have a fetish... but I'd totally want to do that with a girl." But after a while I realized that I was pretty much jacking off to 80% guys, I finally decided to stop lying to myself in my own head. I was in my Christian phase at this point (Yeah, and heavily addicted to porn at the same time. I used to feel so terrible about it...), so I decided that I had screwed myself up by sinning so much, and that if I was going to enjoy a normal heterosexual existence I had to stop fantasizing/masturbating completely. That didn't work. So then I told myself I had to stop fantasizing/masturbating to guys completely. That didn't work either. Finally I settled on a cycle of binging on porn and then purging on guilt, prayer, and Bible reading. I realized at that point that I was staunchly bisexual and not going to change anytime soon. I just decided I had to completely repress half of my nature.

It wasn't until years later, after a long time of gradually shifting away from silly ideas that I fully accepted myself as bi and realized that there was nothing wrong with that. But that's another story entirely. I guess it was more of a process for me than a sudden realization, although I do distinctly remember one night when I had the realization "I am sexually attracted to boys." Talk about exhilirating and scary at the same time.

[Skater Boy]

I was in my Christian phase at this point (Yeah, and heavily addicted to porn at the same time. I used to feel so terrible about it...), so I decided that I had screwed myself up by sinning so much, and that if I was going to enjoy a normal heterosexual existence I had to stop fantasizing/masturbating completely. That didn't work. So then I told myself I had to stop fantasizing/masturbating to guys completely. That didn't work either. Finally I settled on a cycle of binging on porn and then purging on guilt, prayer, and Bible reading.

Dude, religion can really screw you up... what is it Karl Marx says? "Religion is merely a tool for oppressing the masses" (at least I think that was him). I was raised as a Christian, but I don't think I EVER truly believed in it all. These days I try and keep an open mind, but I have to admit that I am not a big fan of most religions... especially those like Christianity and Islam which take negative attitudes toward homosexuality. Its not that I don't specifically believe in God (although I probably don't really). But just that I don't feel welcome in most of those religions. Not sure about Budhism though... its perhaps the only religion I think I might like.

Anyway... how does the lyric go again? Ah yes: "There's more than one way to heaven", and we would all probably do well to remember that.

[versatileguy]

When I went to college (long ago) , I was stunned by the numbers of gays and the sexual variety in general. Being from a small town, I was somewhat overwhelmed by it all and was a bit intimidated about sex in general. I was scared by sexual approaches by women and (to my shock) men. I really hadn't ever had a sexual relation with anyone until a very aggressive woman had her way with me by the end of my sophomore year.

In spite of this, I was always open minded and had a number of friends that were openly gay or bi, but it never really occurred to me to have sex with other males--no fantasies nor curiousity. I did feel flattered by being attractive to some of these guys, yet uncomfortable.

Then while having a little herbal enjoyment with a gay friend that I know was strongly attracted to me, he changed his jeans and I caught a glance of him tucking his semi-erect cock into his pants. Out of nowhere, I had a sudden burning desire, to call him over to me as I sat on his bed, unzip his fly and suck his cock.

I didn't do it. I was surprised and confused by my feelings, but from that moment on a curiousity was sparked and opened a flood gate of bisexual/gay fantasies.

Not long thereafter, I began to consider myself bi and admitted to girls that I was dating that I considered myself bi, but was not ready to practice it. I felt I had to get the hang of girls first.

Pretty strange, I guess, but that's how it came to be.

[tinkslite]

The First Time is a loaded subject because I sort of had 3 "First Times".

When I was 10 or so my cousin and I used to "explore" one another during sleepovers. I remember that she used to want one of us to "pretend to be a boy." I was like "Yea, ok whatever." She could call me Joey or Steve if she wanted to as long as she would continue making out with me and letting me feel her up in the dark! I had no language to name my attraction to girls or anything. I had crushes on women and girls as often as I did on boys and men.
The ones on boys and men I could talk about and the one ones on women and girls I learned to keep to myself.

In high school I had a huge thing for my best friend. I realize now, it was mutual. We flirted and joked with boyfriends saying, "we share EVERYTHING!" I think we were kind of cruel to those poor boys, without meaning to be. I was abused at home, and spent many nights at this friends home. She was the most beautiful, confident, strong girl..I wanted her, and I wanted to be like her.
One night she invited me to go to a party at her current boyfriends home. I had never drunk alcohol before (I was 17 and a bit goody goody).....She had tried and explored alcohol and other recreational drugs. Never pressured me, knew that I liked to keep control of my senses. But that night I drank, and drank, and DRANK! I was quite ill around 11 and went to the bathroom to relieve myself of the ridiculous amount of alcohol that I had consumed. My dear Friend escorted me to the bathroom (carried me, practically)and stayed with me while I relieved myself of all that alcohol.
Afterword she found me a toothbrush still in the packaging, and assisted me into a bed. We were ignited. We wound up making out and I mean with PASSION! I had never had an orgasm at that point, and I am convinced I would have that night. BUT we were interupted by her BF (his bedroom, it turned out). I felt badly about what we had put him through, and she and I never came together physically ever again.
The third time was many years later when my husband was active in fighting a ballot initiative designed to make it illegal for our home state to legally recognize same sex marriages performed elsewhere. He asked me if I had ever been attracted to other women or acted out on the attraction. The former stories came flooding back at that point. Bless his pointed little head. My husband has been nothing but loving and supportive since that night.

[pokeme]

The first time I realised I was bi, was straight after my mate had just blown me.

[Herbwoman39]

When I was finally able to accept even the concept of being bisexual, it was 3 days before my 38th birthday. We were at Dad's Garage in Atlanta watching Caridad Svich's "Self Made" during a performance of 8 1/2 x 11.

There were two incredibly stunning women on stage for the play. The blond had me transfixed. I was mesmerized by her movements. She was violence and passion all in one swirling movement. During the performance I realized that I wanted to be with her...to feel the texture of her skin under my fingertips...to feel her writhe like that against me.

It scared the living crap out of me. After all at that point I had convinced myself I was straight. I was in denial.

After a great deal of self examination I realized that the performance had merely triggered that part of me. I remembered being 9 years old and being excited by the half-naked native women in my mother's National Geographic magazines.

I was able to look at the sleepover with a girlfriend where we kissed and petted in a much more positive light. She knew me better than I knew myself.

So...I'm bi. I'm a bi virgin. I really want to remedy that situation. But that's a story for another thread.

[mtb0509]

I can't think of one particular instance, and heck, I'm still coming to grips with my bisexuality. I wish I could remember the first time I thought of another man in the same way I would think about women.

I think I could lead it back to a particular friend of mine. I've known him for a little over 2 years now and I had and still have the biggest crush on him. I just feel like there's something between us. Shortly after first meeting him, I felt like some sort of deep connection between us, so that might've been it.

But then also when I came to college for the first time in fall of 05, I had a gay roommate and met a bunch of gay people and that got my slowly thinking of things like "I wonder what it's like for them to be with another guy" or "I wonder what it's like to kiss another guy". Slowly that built up to "I want to experience what they're experiencing and see what happens".

I've still yet to have a homosexual experience, but I'd like to come out to my friend as being bicurious and see what happens. Heck just now I joined that downelink site as a recommendation from someone here, but then I quickly deleted that. I don't want to do this the lame overrated myspace way (side note: I proudly deleted my myspace many months ago and have never looked back).

[Skater Boy]

I just wanna thank EVERYONE who's contributed to this thread so far. I've found it very enlightening, and have been really touched by your stories about how it happened for you. I hope that since coming to this "realization" you all find what you are looking for, and achieve happiness.

[thefarside3]

I was about 13 or so. My best mate and I started making a habit of jacking off whenever we stayed at each other's houses. We'd just wank looking at each other. That pretty much started it for me.

[othamble2]

My first time is when a neighbor and I exchange blow jobs around age 11. I am not sure what lead us to try it but I do remember him always acting gayish. I really enjoyed it as it was my first sexual experience. Years went by without any further thoughts or actions. At age 19 I was approached by a guy who had offered me a ride home, he flirted with me and offered to suck my cock. I refused but I thought about it for days and then on another late night I was walking home he offer me a ride. That time I was a feeling no pain and decided to allow him to play with and suck my cock. Maybe three more rides with him and then I never came in contact with him anymore. At age 35 my neighbor in a new neighborhood started making flirting slurs at me like whistling at me when I been over in front of him and rubbing the middle of my finger when we shake hands. On several occasions he came very close to getting a blow job from me but i was to nervous and not dominant as I guess we both wanted the other to take charge as we would drink together. Well when I did finaly get up the nerves to go for it he became scared and mention he couldn't cheat on his wife and reality set in and reminded me I was going in the wrong direction. However, after those ordeals with him I would be at the gym and see that gay or bi guys would be looking at my cock in the shower and playing with theirs and I would get so hard. Thats when I final realized and admitted to self that I am bi but dont publicly announce it.

[miamiuu]

Growing up I fantasized about having sex with some guys but itseemed to be a power or control issue cus I would think about people that bullyed me. I didnt have any close male friends till about 22 in college and fell in love with a guy but barely knew him. Messed me up a lot emotionally so rather than denying the fact that sometimes i care alot about other guys i decided it was easier to just accept the way i feel and not try to explain it away. The first actual video i ever got off to having to do with guy sex starred alec baldwin and it wasa mystery about how a cadet got killed. Well in the movie there is a pretty violent scene where it kind of depicts the two guys in a river and one dude rapes the other guy from behind with water splashing and stuff. It was enough to get me turned on.

[MikeC]

I didn't realize it at the time, but when I was about 13, I spent a couple of weeks at a friend's summer home. He and I bunked in the attic. One night while lying in our beds, he put up a picture of a naked woman he had taken from one of his father's Playboy Magazines. We both had erections, and then he laughingly took off his underwear to let his stand straight up. I did the same, and we were both laughing at our erect cocks. I really enjoyed being hard in front of him, and seeing his hard cock. I later snuck down to the bathroom to jerk off. We also went skinny dipping together which I really liked.
When I as about 21, I had been out drinking and having no luck with the ladies, so I went to another friend's house who I thought might be inclined (he was). We continued drinking in his parent's basement, and I suggested we play a game of strip poker. It wasn't long before we were both naked. And then it just happened...we layed down head to toe to one another, and started fondling each other. I came pretty quickly. Another time after drinking, we dispensed with the poker game, and got naked right away. We rubbed our bodies against one another, and eventually wound up in a 69.
Nothing happened again for many years, but I had a lot of "almosts" in showers and steam rooms at a gym I once belonged to.....stroking, and watching other guys stroke themselves, but no contact. My wife knew of my prior experiences, as she had had a couple of her own. She's ok with my bisexuality as she considers herself bi also...although not active.
To make a long story short, the opportunity to stroke another guy presented itself, and I went for it. In that instant, I realized how much I liked it, and that being bi was part of who I am. Since then, I've had a six-year relationship with one guy...who my wife knows, and approves of.

[Skater Boy]

Welcome to the forum, MikeC... and thanks for sharing your special story! :)

[bibliss]

Not sure I ever had a "first time" in terms of realizing my bisexuality. More like little hints and milestones along a very long path. I don't know if it's possible for someone to completely understanding their sexuality in one single experience -- at least my sex life has been more like a string of experiences, un-related in some ways but inter-related in subtle ways too.

I remember experiences of "playing house" as a child. There was nothing more than innocent play, mostly with girls, but nothing felt wrong with including other boys too. We all giggled and had fun. I recall never feeling anything but curiousity when it came to human bodies. Somehow, guilt and shame entered into the picture when we all became teenagers. My sex life didn't actually blossom until my 20s. That's when and had a couple of exploratory experiences with other men (while otherwise being entirely with women). It was in a threesome experience when something I could feel as "bisexual" seemed to have definitely emerged, although I didn't self-identify as bisexual until my mid-30s.

The time I first had sex with another man was while I was in the service, stationed far from home. We were both a bit drunk. And I didn't realize it at the time but he "picked me up" and we agreed to retreat to his hotel room. The sex was exciting but the guilt was pretty overwhelming. It took me several years of feelings of lingering curiousity before I acted upon my bisexual feelings again.

Bi porno was a big help it seems. I remember feeling intensely turned on by bi images of men and women together.

There was the first time I "discovered" the bisexual section at my local adult video store. I was in my late 20s. I recall somehow overcoming my nervousness to ask the female clerk quite matter-of-factly, "do you carry bisexual videos?" Yes, she replied somewhat enthusiastically, glad perhaps someone had finally asked. She quietly escorted me through the maze of shelves toward the back of the store. (Mind you, this was the late 80's early '90s, years before the DVD revolution; all the videos were VHS and even Betamax, in those big boxes!) There, in the back corner of the store on a single shelf at the bottom of the rack was a tiny section called "Bisexual" where about 8 lonely videos stood. Well, it was as though I had died and gone to heaven. Eureka!, it was like I had struck gold. The female clerk smiled and let me go about my business.

The times that really changed my life as far as sexuality in general is concerned where the workshops I took at Harbin Hot Springs in the mid 90s. That spawned a period of growth, undertanding and development in me which helped me enormously, something I feel I'm still enjoying the benefits of today, more than ten years later! I felt much more of a sense of ease around communication (about sex or any other topic). I look upon that time as the time I became much more at ease with my sexuality in general, my bisexuality specifically. It was then that I "came out" to a few close family and friends and haven't looked back since.

[ShavedBalzz]

When I got seduced by a boss at job I had when I was 17.

[othamble2]

Wow MikeC glad you decided to read the forum and post. Thanks for sharing! I look forward to chatting wiwth you again.

[Daviecurious]

I also had hints and indicators during my journey. The closest thing to a "Wow, that's what's going on" moment was while watching a straight adult video. The scene involved a ffm 3some, with one woman on her back, the other on top of her in a 69 position, and the male doing the top woman doggy-style. When it was time for the "money shot", the man pulled out and the woman on the bottom sucked him and took his load. I realized I wanted to be the woman on the bottom, sucking; the thought was VERY exciting and not upsetting at all. That was when I knew.

[Enoll]

I always knew I liked guys and girls and I never had anything wrong with it, I just thought that's how everyone was. It wasn't untill year 5 when I opened a dictionary while bored. (Looking for rude words, beacuse that's what kids do with those things.) Flicked through, found the word bisexual, noticed that was me, leaned to the kid next to me and went "hey, check it out, that's me".

I got called a queer and from then on I noticed that everyone has different sexualites and some of those are "wrong" in the social popular oppinion.
Wich is nice, yeah. :rolleyes:

So in summary, I was always bi, only had a word for it from then.

[biwords]

Dude, religion can really screw you up... what is it Karl Marx says? "Religion is merely a tool for oppressing the masses".

Actually, Marx said something very different: "Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people. The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is the demand for their real happiness. To call on them to give up their illusions about their condition is to call on them to give up a condition that requires illusions". In other words, Marx was talking about the appeal which religion held for people -- he wasn't retailing some cheap conspiracy theory, a fact which must disappoint some of his latter-day admirers.

[biwords]

....but I digress! First time I realized? Um, an intense sexual crush on a boy in my eighth-grade gym class, I was 12. At first I was terrified that I was going homosexual (which, I assumed, would mean a ruined life). But as my sexual feelings for girls, which had begun only a few months earlier, continued strong, I soon concluded I was bisexual, though I doubt I knew the word that early.

[Skater Boy]

In other words, Marx was talking about the appeal which religion held for people -- he wasn't retailing some cheap conspiracy theory, a fact which must disappoint some of his latter-day admirers.

Thanks for clarifying! I used to play chess with a German physicist (thrashed me every time!) who was also a devout Marxist. He virtually insisted that I read "Das Kapital", but I didn't get far through the book. So most of my knoweldge of Marxism comes from websites run by his "latter-day admirers". I think Marxism has some strong arguments, but I found Communism an inappropriate solution to the the troubles associated with Capitalism.

Thanks for sharing your story, btw!

[taz67156]

I realized it when I was sitting at work one day and started looking at another co-worker in a way I hadnt looked at any other female b4. I have played around a bit since but never actually gone very far with a female. I am one who just knew I was bi from then on without having to try it out first. my hubby didnt believe me for a while but I soon proved to him by doing various things that I am bi.





Mrs. Taz

[GMD1082]

I was really young, like preschool level. Of course, I had no clue what that meant at that age. I got in big trouble with touching bad places on girls and boys. I was also obsessed with sex books and late night porn on tv then. My mind wandered a lot. It was my first sign that I was different.

I was "bi-curious" from junior high until I confirmed it 3 years ago. Wish I confirmed sooner than I did. Watching the show called Undressed in junior high and seeing the female on female stuff turned me on. I just feel like I am getting too old, and wanting experience more and more each day.

[fishfry29]

My first experences were passive. The local "queer" gave me a couple of blow jobs when I was a teen, and in the military, I would go to Los Angelis to get blown by one of the many Homosexuals as often as I went to Tijuana to get a piece of tail or bj from a hooker. I think the first realisation was when I was about 35 and met a guy in a abs..we went to his appt and I sucked my first cock...I was hooked after that. It is much more than the physical act of sucking a cock or making love to a woman, it is knowing that I am responcable for another persons pleasure.

[aquasage]

Well, I have had a very vivid sexual imagination back to when I was about 12. The main fantasies involved me (male) with 1 or more women at any time. Sometimes, other lads would be involved in those fantasies, however, they were only in a heterosexual capacity. Later as I got older, I would start to share these fantasies with girlfriends in the hopes that perhaps they too would share those fantasies.

It was not until I was about 26-27 where I was involved with a woman for a couple of years that we would frequently share fantasies but she had no interest to pursue. That is also about the time that I/she discovered the pleasures of using a vibrating dildo-strap-on inside me. I took a while to reconcile to myself that I simply enjoyed the stimulation on my prostrate and had nothing to do with me being gay or even bi, especially since I still only found women sexually attractive. Of course this slowly led to the intense desire to see what the real thing felt like (which I have yet to this day, have had the opportunity to experience).

Jump forward another 3 or 4 years, still with the same lady, though fast approaching the end of the relationship, I had begun to watch mmf porn on line. I was not really watching it because I found other guys attractive, rather I was exploring within myself whether I could be comfortable in a bi-mmf situation with my girlfriend in the hopes that she would in turn finally be willing to explore the reverse scenario with me ffm. Of course this plan failed miserably, and in the end so did the relationship without any such explorations together. However, during the time that I did look at the bimmf porn I realized that I grew to become more and more fascinated with the possibilities of exploring mmf on my own, not because of trying to encourage a reluctant girlfriend to try it, rather because I was truly finding the combinations erotic, exciting and sexy.

It started primarily with a bi-oral fixation which I soon explored in reality with a married couple shortly after my long relationship. A short while after that, I met a woman that was to become the love of my life who was also interested in sensual bi encounters with other couples, but was also particularly turned on by the prospect of me being with another guy in every way.

Thus far, we have met with a few bi couples for short periods of time and have had some fun encounters, primarily of the sensuous and oral variety. However we have yet to find that great couple or single (m or f) where all are attracted to the others equally physically and intellectually. As such, we never did explore more intimate or penetrative encounters in our times together. Thus, I remain a virgin bisexually in many aspects, which I do hope will change someday, with my lover watching me closely with hungry lusty eyes as some great gent takes me to a new level of sexual exploration.

So, unlike many on this website it appears, I never had any momentous occassion where I suddenly realized I was attracted by both men and women. I have always been primarily and highly aroused by women. It was only through some half-baked plan to try to encourage a long-term girlfriend to explore ffm encounters in my late20s and early 30s that I ironically gradually became more and more aroused with the thought of ever more risque bisexual encounters. I still love and prefer the ladies, but I am at a point now that I would be interested in a 1 on 1 encounter with the RIGHT lad.

We are still looking. Taking our time. Waiting for the right person(people). And enjoying ourselves and each other.

[Tygress75]

Had been attracted to same gender since grade-school, but never thought much of it. Never did anything about it, either. Only came out and accepted myself as a bisexual recently. What a waste of a good 20 years... <sigh>.

[mrsgreywolf1960]

Wow what a question. Need to think a minute. Well...I guess I realized I was bi early on. I was probably 12. A cousin and I were sleeping in the same bed when she touched my pussy. I knew it was "wrong" but it felt so good that I touched hers and have never been the same since. I still haven't had a real chance to act on it, but thanks to bisexual I just may get the chance!! ;)

[3naib]

wow, i think this might be my favorite thread *ever*. its generated such touching and diverse responses from so many different perspectives and ranges of experience. i am so humbled by how honest and vulnerable we allow ourselves and eachother to be.

for myself... i think i always knew- though repressed and felt much shame about same-sex exploration and was afraid of being a dyke. i spent way too much time trying to be accepted and fit in as a response to emotional (and often physical) abuse from my father. seeking acceptance has been challenging habit to kick and its reeked havok in other areas.

sexually, i remember being 6 and seeing gorgeous photographs of indian women with pierced navals and thinking "that is SOOOOOO sexy".

around the same time i play a game of "that thing" with a neighbor's older brother (maybe 14?) sneeking into the bathroom with the lights out. i would stand on the toilet and he would literally blow air on my hairless prepubescent mound, and i knew it was dirty and wrong and it felt good. then he would stand in from of me and i would blow air on his erect little-boy penis... sometimes putting my lips on it- and i remember thinking it tasted like the insides of my lips... lol.

around the age of 8, another neighbor girl and i used to dig through my dad's full drawer of penthouses and read forum while laying on pillows touching ourselves. this led to taking "naps" after school and we would touch and explore one another. i was hooked- until her mother caught us and shamed the hell out of us- forcing her to confront me telling me that "that was just exploration and its not right." she was not allowed to play with me for months. ultimately, she is now the only childhood friend i have and coming out as 'bi' to her about 5yrs ago was the scariest of anyone i ever told. she is totally hetero and despite her own paternal abuse, in a very healthy and happy marriage with a great little boy.

when i was 15 i was raped on vacation in hilton head island.
a year later was first time i had intercourse that i "gave" myself to a man. i was so young and repressed and it took years to figure out that i was supposed to actively enjoy and engage in sex. strangely, i would spend most of the rest of my life wishing i could really explore this man (to this day...)

my first orgasm from another person was from a butchy aggresive girl in my sr yr in hs... i was passive and curious and she bowled me over. the intensity of my sexual response scared me. fingers and kisses and wetness and boiled blood and HOLY SHIT!

hailing from a super WASP sleepy PA town, i was always a champion of misfits and underdogs. my hs was too breakfast club delineated and each of my friends in different cliques disliked one another. college/art school and being away from home led me to evolve my own identity, and it was the first time i ever had a community of friends. they were every flavor, nationality, sexual identity genderbent alternative person i could find. being in a queer centered community made me feel comfortable and safe and NORMAL. many of my freindships were amorphous and blurred lines between lovers. most were healthy and wonderful and many of those people are still my friends almost 20 (omg!) years later.

predominately my ltr's have been with men, though i think i prefer sex with women. most of my sexuality remains unexplored because i just have not found the right partner to really freely explore with. sometimes i wonder if i ever will. i am too conservative value-wise for the free-sex-hookup poly crowd (i need to know a person and be intellectually inclined to feel erotically interested in someone), and too freaky dark and genderbent fantasy-wise for the vanilla.
ooo...but now i'm totally into another topic...


thanks skater boy. ;) and NICE boybelly pic. yum.

[bhg08054]

It was just a few years ago. I was wandering through the "Amateur Pictures" section of another forum, and came across a thread documenting another guy's first bi experience. I started reading that thread, and it wasn't long before things started making sense.

Before that I never even really understood that being bi was an option. It sounds stupid, but I only knew of people being straight or gay.

Thinking back, there were lots of little things that perhaps should've told me that I was bi, had I been looking for them. Like enjoying the copies of of "Playgirl" a college friends roommate had, while also enjoying "Playboy".

And I knew for sure I was bi the first time I help another man's penis in my hands!

[EveningWood]

My first time, like many others, occurred in college and was a total shock to me.
A buddy was visiting my apartment and I had a small collection of glossy, expensive hard-core magazines, all of them straight. The extent of my interest in guys until that night was merely thinking sometimes, "Man, that guy has a huge cock" or "I wonder sometimes what it would be like to touch another guy's penis?" But I never actively fantasized about it.
My friend and I smoked some weed, which never failed to trip my libido. As we were thumbing thru the porn magazines, we'd both comment like, "Wow, she's got a beautiful pussy" or "Nice tits!" My buddy said at one point, "That guy is hung like a horse. Man, I wish I was that big." But I thought nothing of it. After awhile, he asked if he could use my shower as he'd worked after school and hadn't had time to clean up. I said sure and he disappeared for awhile. I opened up a beer and sat on the edge of the bed, looking through several hardcore porn magazines.
When he reappeared, he was still wet from the shower with a towel around his waist but it didn't hide much and it was obvious he was aroused. I found I couldn't take my eyes off it, although I tried to act like I didn't see it. He sat in a chair and pulled the towel up to dry his hair and was now totally naked in my bedroom. I felt very uncomfortable with it but said nothing. He smiled at me and made some joke about "not getting any in awhile" and I said, "Well, that's becoming increasingly obvious." :cool:
We were at a standoff point and I sure wasn't going to make the first move, although my eyes kept darting to his now totally erect penis. I finally said something like, "You might want to go back to the bathroom and take care of that, man" and he grinned and stood up and said, "Yeah, but I'd love some help with it."
I could feel myself getting aroused and was totally taken back by it. I never had thought of men in that way before but I could feel my cock growing in my shorts, fueled by some herb and the sight of a nude guy in my bedroom. I remember breathing heavily and feeling very flushed.
He must have been able to see it because he boldly walked up to me, leaving the towel behind him on the chair and put my hand on his cock. He asked me to stroke it. I was sort of paralyzed and first and said, "We shouldn't do this" but he put his hand over mine and stroked himself using my hand until he withdrew it and let me take over. I was sitting on the bed, he was standing. I'll never forget feeling him tense up and grimace and knowing he was going to cum, which he did in prodigious amounts all over my face and chest. I thought I'd be disgusted by it but found myself totally aroused in a way I never had before. We cleaned up a little, using the towel and saying nothing and I was literally shaking all over. He put his arm around my shoulder and squeezed my cock thru my shorts and asked if I needed some help too. Initially I said no thanks but finally relented. We ended up nude in my bed and he massaged me, paying a lot of attention to my ass and balls, which no woman had ever done (to be honest, I'd only been with a couple at that point of my life!). It was very strange, almost an out of body experience for me. I found myself moaning out loud and moving my ass and hips to his touch while at the same time thinking "I really shouldn't be doing this. This is to weird."
He went down on me eventually and had me climbing the ceiling for what seemed like an hour. I finally had an explosive, all body orgasm in his mouth.
After that experience, we got together several time, until he had to transfer to another school. It never failed to be an amazingly erotic time, with multiple orgasms, kissing, making out and everything except anal intercourse. I knew after that I'd never be the same but have only been with one other guy since. I was happily married and now am happily divorced with an incredible girlfriend but do think of those old times frequently, particularly the first time!

[Seth C]

I was watching Queer as Folk. A rather explicit sex scene between two men came up. And guess what? Sproingggggg! :eek:

Edit: I forgot to say. I was in my teens at the time. Maybe 14. Same time my attraction to women developed. It was a confusing time.

[BiDallasCouple]

As long as I can remember, I have been attracted to both men and women. BUT, Consciencely I remember looking at my grandma's Playgirl Mags and liking what I saw then going to my mom's Easy riders and looking at the girls.

[Traveler]

Have really enjoyed all of the honest and insightful responses to this one. And it has really made me think seriously about the question. I think that the realization came to me very recently even though I have had sexual relationships with both sexes since my teen years. But it was just a few months ago, that I really analyzed my realtionships and came to realize that most of my male relationships had been from a selfish standpoint (i.e. always being the receiving one, and not the giver) while my hetero relationships had been on a shared or giving standpoint.
It was this realization that brought me to the point of really understanding my bisexuality in that I now want all of my relationships to be fully shared in the satisfaction. And not from a standpoint of receiving only.

[arana]

I've always liked both since I can remember....I just didnt' know that it was "allowed" or "normal". I was confused for a very long time wondering if I was straight or a lesbian because of it. When I was like 7 or so I would spend the night at my friends who was a year or two older then I and she would like to play girlfriend/boyfriend when we were in bed and she always wanted to be the boy. I've always had an open mind and liked women and men since then but because of what society was putting out I thought that there was something wrong with me for being that way. I had enough issues with being different in my area that I didn't need to add more conflict to it so I just kept things to myself for way too many years.

[othamble2]

no experience

[Sarasvati]

Up until I was around 24 I was resolutely heterosexual and would never have considered a man. But I'd begun to believe in the dissolution of the self - taking what you believe about yourself, including any socialisation, and smashing it all down. Then seeing what still stands.

Slowly, rather than seeing yourself as a person merely born in a particular time and place in a particular culture I saw that we could lay ourselves open for the transition of the spirit through our lives.

...and I saw that the spirit comes through a man and travels through the woman and I wanted to be between the two. For me bisexuality is a quasi religious endeavour. It is the labour of desire.

Please forgive my somewhat garbled language, sometimes I know where I am with my ideas and other times they seem to be scrambled.

My first male experience was about 17 years ago when I answered a Loot ad. The fellow was shocked, as was I, when I shifted the conversation directly to sex. I recognise in myself a love of dramatic tension. The way in which it can be subtly employed to startling effect.

My 2nd experience came a couple of years later when I visited a gay club after going to see Guns n Roses in London. An odd couplet there. The man who pulled me was a classic moustacheode type. He took me to his home and gave me a lesson in man to man pleasure.

Sexual pleasure with a willing man is a delight and it still tantalises me. However I relate to a man only in a sexual sense.

The female differs and is a permanent desire to me. And that can never change......

I used to love easy loving with girls at University. There were often bi possibilties with them and other girls but I was too naive to grab the opportunity.

Oh didn't he ramble.......get out of here sarasvati.......another day

[ghytifrdnr]

Realization , for me, was a long slow process starting sometime about age 40 and slowly building until I had my first until I had my first male experience at age 59. The first I can recall was some time in the '80's, reading some bi/gay erotica in VARIATIONS and finding myself turned on by it, and about the same time playing with another couple and being "concerned" about sloppy-seconds and then finding out that when it finally happened I liked it.
:bigrin: :bigrin: :bigrin:

[wanderingrichard]

around 14 while living in thailand.. my playmates and i got into sex play in a big way , doing it in sheds, barns, where ever we could get some privacy for the bunch of us..mainly i think this was one of the older girls ideas, cause she was always one of the more adventurous types..regardless, i remember one of the girls and i were fooling around and i believe i was planting kisses on her breasts and one of the guys was really excited and i looked up and saw him all erect and curvy and and my brain went "YUM!, go taste that!".... and then i totally forgot about the girl i was playing with..,,and next thing i know i had bent over and he was slowly sliding that sweet thing into me, and it was terrific!! we did this a few more times over that year but i never quit girls, and i even found some other guys to play with and well, i never knew the term til years later , just that i liked both sides of the coin.. but like i've said here many times before, it's always been part and parcel of who i am.. i don't feel like i have a disease or that i'm abnormal or doing anything to spite any one.. i'm just being me

[wanderingrichard]

ummm, heh heh, sometimes i share too much.. :(

[rmorti]

I realised my possibly bisexuality...well just at the end of December 2006...
I've always known when a guy is got a good build and is good looking, could say that was my dormant bisexual side and that it finalyl came into fruition.
Still undecided but sure there is some form of facination/attraction that began after december.

[IanBorthwick]

Well I wasn't willing to admit it to myself until recent years, as the stigma of being OTS was so bad I was terrified of it. But if it had to be the moment I forst had sexual thoughts about males it had to be when I was 10. I was sporting a strong crush on a man that was close to my family.

[..Shia..]

I think I always knew that I was bi. I remember when I was in 1st grade (I think) me and my friend would be over at each other's house "rocking up" and kissing with each other in the closet lol. The funny thing is when we got older (throughout elementary) we acted like it never happened and went on with our friendship.

My mom use to have this book that I was fascinated with. It had these paintings of sexual positions with these asian people. I would get turned on by looking at the female photos. I too was watching those late night porns on Cinemax, Showtime, or HBO when I was younger.

I always looked at females in a different way but didn't come out to anyone because of their opinions. All of my friends had boyfriends so I had to fit in too. I like males as much as I like females, so it's like 50/50. But yeah, I realized when I was probably 7 or 8 years old.

[ghytifrdnr]

ummm, heh heh, sometimes i share too much.. :(

I don't think that was too much. What you revealed there should be accepted as middle-of-the-road in this community.
And it was hot. It got me woody just visualizing it.
:bigrin:

[zizzy]

I started realizing I was bi when I was about 10 or 11 when I watched a lot of porn with my cousins. I realized they only watched porn for the girls but I liked both the girl and the boy. When I first masturbated I was around 12 and I enjoyed dreaming of boys and girls (still do that today). I masturbate about boys and girls at school, work, TV and etc before I got to sleep at night. When I was about 13 I had a step cousin who used to flash his 8 inch penis at me and I hate to say it but it turned me on. Currently I have a major crush on a guy at my school I 've been crushing on since I was 15 and a crush on a girl who works at my job.

[Cid87]

Good question, when I think back I know now that my sexual interests were mostly towards the opposite gender but not entirely. If someone would have taught me or explained to me exactly what bisexuality was at that time I would maybe have realized it sooner. I was a very late bloomer, so my physical and mental growth was later than probably everyone at my age and I remember I was scared of sexual activity until I was 16-17 years old.

I also remember that there was never any mention of bisexuality, it was completely unheard of until I was about 15 which was about the same time I started to consider I might be bisexual.

I was probably bisexual since I reached sexual maturity, but didn't think of it since I seemed to have a greater interest in the opposite sex and also didn't get any information on what bisexuality was...

[yewtahjim]

What a fascination storyline to follow....most of us could write the same story over and over....with minor deviations, (no pun intended) we pretty well came to our lifestyle thru the same happenings....In my case, at 5 years old, I used to suck the cock of a neighbor boy who was older....by 8 years old, my parents had moved us to another city, and upstairs from us lived a single father with an 8 year old boy and 6 year old girl...over the period of many months, I sucked the son and licked the daughter...getting much more out of doing the boy, since the girl just sort of went along with it.... at 9, almost ten, my folks moved again, and within days, a neighbor boy, older than me by two years, and obviously gay, were in my bedroom, when out of the blue, he asked if I ever played with myself. I admitted I did, he asked if I had "cum" yet, and I really didn't know what me meant, explaining that I played with it until it felt soo good, I had to quit. WELL, he took it out, and started to jack me off....to my first "discharge"....AWESOME....he then started to suck me and again I came and he swallowed. Even more awesome...he offered his cock to me and I proceeded to suck him off and swallow for the first time in my life....was different, not sure I wanted to do that again...but thankfully I did...over the period of months, I pretty well made it with all the neighbor boys in our "clubhouse". One of the guys had invited me to sleep over, and not knowing it was just social, not sexual, I made a move on him and he got out of bed and told his father. Father sent me home but, told me to come see him the next day. Fearing for my life, I did reluctantly go over when I saw he was home from work. I asked what he wanted and he started a chat about the earlier evening with his son, and thru questioning, I did admit that I like sex with boys. But had only been with my peers. He asked if I had ever been with a grown man, and I said no. Next question, would I like to be with someone who could teach me about love, as opposed to getting off....duh........ he held me, he kissed me, he undressed me, he sucked me, I sucked him...and then the shock of my life, he lubed me up...and after suggesting that I could fuck him in exchange for him fucking me...I agreed very excitedly. I had no idea you could fuck a boy....hahahah WOW blew me away, again, no pun intended. I had enjoyed sex before, but this was unbelieveable....he filled me with cum, and I in turn filled him.....all excited, when I left, I sought out the older gay who introduced me to orgasms and told him guess what I had learned and proceeded to have him fuck me, within the hour of having my first....and from 12 to 15 I knew "queer" and figured I was just that.....however at 15, a 46 year old lady friend of my father's took me to bed and taught me the beauty of f/m sex too. I had no idea what was the alternative to queer, but whatever it was, I now was equally as hungry for pussy as well as cock. During a long marriage to my departed wife, I also had a male lover on the side, and the beauty of being with him, he had the twin to my penis and so I was able to enjoy the pleasure of being fucked by my own cock, in a sense...so anyway, that's my story, I hope it caused a little "excitement in the shorts" *S*

[MarieDelta]

Thats a tricky question for me, because I pretty much kept that part of me "compartmentalized". In other words, I never acknowledged it openly, but also, I think I kept it secret from myself for a while too.


For me my awakeing started with relizing that I was indeed Trans, I won't bore you with the details but yes, I compartmentalized and shut down emotionally.

When I finally accepted that part of myself, it was then that I felt OK about my attraction, not just to one sex, but to both.

I had repressed both my gender and my sexual identity until I was about 30 years old. Kept trying to "cure" myself, or drink myself out of it. The things I tried to become a "man" were just stupid. Pushed myself ever harder to be one of the boys, which was never gonna happen.

Anyway, thats my story.

[lucky7]

First time I realised I was bi was extremely recently. I have always felt emotionally attracted to women, but only to certain females. The average, every day woman doesn't physically attract me. I have never had a stable relationship with a guy, in the sense that I have never been extremely emotionally involved with a guy to the point that I truly love them, or would care to be apart from them. I was watching a TV show on bisexuality and a doctor was saying that many women don't believe they are bi because they aren't interested in having sex with another woman, but instead they just fall in love with another woman. That is the instant everything made sense. I, unfortunately, have fallen in love with two of my best friends (not to their knowing) but I am not interested in sleeping with them. I was out partying just recently.. and I mayyy have been using illegal drugs, and in those few hours everything was extremely clear. I was so attracted to my friend, and I felt she was feeling the same way, but once the drugs wore off.. there was noooo desire at all to be with her sexually. It may just be me. Maybe I'm not a sexual person. Who knows, right?

[Skater Boy]

I, unfortunately, have fallen in love with two of my best friends (not to their knowing) but I am not interested in sleeping with them. I was out partying just recently.. and I mayyy have been using illegal drugs, and in those few hours everything was extremely clear. I was so attracted to my friend, and I felt she was feeling the same way, but once the drugs wore off.. there was noooo desire at all to be with her sexually. It may just be me. Maybe I'm not a sexual person. Who knows, right?

Heh, well, it raises the ol' debate about what "Bisexuality" really is again. If you fancy women mentally but not physically, are you still Bi? I would be careful about making life decisions based on epiphanies that you experience whilst under the influence of illegal substances. But then again, they do have a weird way of "clarifying things" sometimes. Or maybe they just reduce your social inhibitions and allow your unconscious mind to take over for a while. That, coupled with repression might explain why your lust for her disappeared once the drugs wore off. Or maybe you just got high on crack and had some strange thoughts about your friend. you're right... who knows? Certainly not me. Yawn... time for bed.

[PuddleJump]

Hey, this is my first post. I've been lurking for a little while but never really had anything to comment on as this is all pretty new for me. I saw this thread and thought, what better thread to introduce myself in? So here goes:

I only recently started considering bisexuality as an option. Like others have said, it never really occured to me that there was something other than being homosexual or heterosexual. Even after first learning about bisexuality, it never occured to me to consider it. I suppose I should have suspected it but it's just one of those things that I didn't want to consider so I didn't.

I remember my mom coming into my room once when I was around 7. A girl I knew and I were in my bed, stark naked. I can't remember what we were doing but I suspect it was my idea.
We moved not long after. I became best friends with another girl pretty quickly. I think it started as just "comparing" our bodies but eventually, she and I would play "strippers" which typically turned into stripping down and pretending to have sex. We always stopped shy of touching each other pussy though. I do remember her spreading my legs and looking at what I had though. Again, we moved when I was eleven. I still talk to her from time to time; she's completely hetero and we never discuss what we used to do. Sometimes the conversation gets close to it and we fall into an awkward silence.

But, as is the case with many, college opened my eyes. I just finished my first year of college and found myself falling for my best friend. I met her the first day after moving into the dorms. By late October, I'd moved in with her and her roommate. We did everything together. We started flirting, seeing how far it'd get before one of us got creeped out and backed off. Eventually it got so far as moving in for a kiss, always pulling back before our lips actually touched. She would express how weird it was and a few times she said that she had to ask herself if she was a lesbian, always concluding that no, she liked guys. I don't think she's ever considered the possibility of being bi. Anyways, every time we came close to kissing, I felt exhilarated, half disappointed that it hadn't gone further, half relieved that it had stopped when it had.
We stopped with the flirting after we came dangerously close to kissing. However, I started sleeping in her bed with her for part of the night, spooning.
I'm always torn between wanting more and being terrified that something more might happen. But the idea of sex with her isn't at all appealing. That's what confuses me most. I get moody and jealous when she goes on dates or shows interest in guys and I dedicate more time than I should to her. I'll face the question, I could write my paper that's due tomorrow or I could watch a movie with her. I always choose her over school, family, anything.
So that's the short version of my story (ridiculously long, too!) Sorry if it's kind of hard to follow. I've never told this much to anyone, in person or online so I'm freaking out a little bit!

[dickhand]

I guess I would have to say that knowing that I was Bi came in the late 70's . As I have told my story of the 1st time else where , I won't waste space here with it again . My first sexual encounter was with a male cousin around 69 or so more out of availabilty then any great attraction . I think we both thought that when females were available that our playing around would end . Well it didn't . By the late 70's we were both married and still found time to get together . I also found time to be with his wife . Niether one knew about the other doing it with me . I don't think the term bi-sexual was available to us just then , but I know when I did hear about it for the first time , I knew right away that it fit me . I liked to have sex with both male and female partners . Oral , vaginal or anal was good for me .Both giving and receiving .

[open4bizness]

When was the FIRST time you realised you were Bi?

When I had a penis in my butt and liked it.

[lastlaf44]

I started to consciously think about the idea of being straight/gay/bi around grade 7 when I started having physical attractions and fantasies (as opposed to a simple "he's cute" crush). I mostly had thoughts about guys up until grade nine when more thoughts about girls started creeping in. I was finally able to...not admit. Admit is the wrong word...it's not like I was trying to hide it from myself or something. I finally...came to the conclusion (after sifting through a lot of myself) that I was bi in grade 11.

~Lastlaf~ :female:

[fallenpandora]

this is my first post so here goes lol

i first relized i was bisexual ( or more relized there was a word for it) when i was 15 and i made a new friend who was very open about her sexuality when i saw that she liked girls i started to think about my past and remembering stuff that had happened like when i was 13 and me and my friend ( who i asume is hetro now) were talking about lesbains and i said i wonder how they have sex so we tryed to act it out it didnt go that far just rubbing against eachother kissing and touching. i also relized that all the fasination i had with past friends may have been more then friendship lol from there i have had a few experiences and dated girls.

i more consider myself bi curious, i LOVE girls and im curious about guys lol

[childofwinter]

I've always seemed to be somewhat bicurious,especially from the age of 15 or 16. I felt comfortable enough to consider myself bi around two years ago when I was 19. However, noone I knew outside of the Internet knows that I am bi - I don't feel like I have to tell everyone what my sexuality is, because staright people don't do that, so why should everyone else?

[eatmeplz_803]

I think that I always knew that I was bi. It started at a very young age maybe 7 or 8 me and my girl friends would always play "boyfriends and girlfriends" is what we called it. We would mostly pull our pants down and hump on each other. Probably when I was in the 5th grade one of my girl friends ate me out for the 1st time boy did that feel great. Me and her fooled around alot I always wonder is she bi too but I haven't seen or talked to her in many years. but now as a women I still enjoy hummping other females and eating them out and them doing the same to me.

[fishfry29]

My first M/M experence was when I was 13 and a adult sucked me off...Ive had numerous experences since then, In the Military I would let a "queer" swing on my cock when I didnt have money to go to Tijuana to get laid, and then afterwards I would meet men at the adult book stores and let them suck me, or I would do anal with them but as the "top". I was always the passive partner and never sucked another man or did anal untill I was about 35, in the early 70's when there was no HIV to worry about.....I decided that since I liked recieving, I would try sucking a man for my first time...I was hooked when he came in my mouth. It took a few times before I swallowed, but I was hooked. I was / am married at the time, but never let the wife know untill we decided to experement with swinging the later 70's.

[brunette]

when i was eight one of my neighbors and i played "doctor." we were completely naked, but we just played with each others tits. the next day, we did the same thing, but she had asked her mom about masturbation, and then proceeded to touch my clit, which had never been done. i felt really wrong about that, and she and i stopped hanging out.

all through high school, i was very sheltered. all of my friends said they were straight, so i just assumed i was. i really didn't do anything sexually with either gender until college.

in college, many of my friends were open about sexual orientation. i dated a few guys, and then got into a long term with one of them. the whole time though, i was really in love with a lesbian that lived close to me. we never did anything but flirt because we were both in relationships, and when she broke up with her gf, i was about to break up with my bf just to be with her when she immediately got another gf.

i discovered my bisexuality with this lesbian (before then, i kissed girls, but that was just for fun). in one of our classes, she was talking about gaydar and how she knew if someone would eat pussy, even if they claimed to be straight. i thought "that describes me perfectly."

then, i met my current husband and that was the first time i had sex. then we had a threesome with a very out bisexual girl, and i discovered that i loved eating pussy.

so now, i love and am very dedicated to my husband, and he doesn't mind if i have girlfriends on the side.

[biSteve969]

Hey im steve.

Im New to the forum.

I have recently just relized that i might be bisexual.

When looking at pornography i have been more curoius. It started when i started looking at Shemales. I noticed how beautiful they looked. Then i started to looking at Bisexual Pornography. I was really turned on with it. I am a virgin so i have yet to try anything sexual with a man or a woman. I do know though that i have more of a sexual feeling for men than loving. Woman i do Love and have sexual feelings for.

phew it feels good to tell someone

Thanks for Listening to My Story

Steve :bigrin:

[Skater Boy]

Welcome to the forum, Steve. Thanks for sharing. :)

[bicurious_1]

I think I have been curious for several years now, but have only really started talking about it with the wife in the last couple of years. She actually had an experience with a friend of hers a few years ago and discovered that she wasn't THAT curious, but I have been intrigued by watching the act of oral and MMF oral for a while. Thing is that I am not turned on by guys very much at all. In fact, my view goes straight to the waist on a naked guy because I don't find guys that good looking at all.

[Duneman69]

Eighteen, on the beach on Galveston Island. Always preferred to wear as little clothing as possible, always got the skimpiest Speedos I could. One day, an incredibly buff guy in a thong hit on me and fifteen minutes later I was giving him my first ever BJ in the dunes.

[wanderingrichard]

so, reading over this and sevral other threads with similar themes over the year or so i've been here, it seems that the majority of us started to realize our true selves in our early to mid teens.. which means we are pretty "normal", then.. [ ducking under desk to avoid the stones, etc being thrown at him for using the N word]:)

[bigdreams3250]

One always has regrets in life. When i was about seventeen and working at a large department store in London the aftersales serviceman for the department that i worked in came downstairs to the storeroom with me to pick up product. the storeman was there and when we walked in he locked the door. After a bit of discussion where my options were explained to me he grabbed my wrists and pulled me across the table. The serviceman reached around and took my trousers right off, not just down to the ankles,, got a jar of vaseline and give me a pasting with that. He got is cock out and with a bit of difficulty he fucked me until he came. They then changed places and the storeman, who was much larger and rougher gave me a good fucking before cumming. I didnt know what to do. Then the storeman held my arms whilst the service guy got down and gave me oral sex. First time for every thing. Borderline rape. But i kinda liked it. Never went back for any more because it was 'naughty' although the invites were there. Whilst i have had many female lovers and kids, it has only been recently that I have developed a very strong desire for male attention. I just like fucking and being fucked. By both sexes. Good eh???:bipride:

[the sacred night]

Damn folks, some of you have had some hot experiences! Mine have been, for the most part, significantly less hot.

When I was a young kid, like 10ish, I remember catching myself looking too hard at a woman and being afraid I was becoming a lesbian. I was terrified and would not even let myself look in the direction of a pretty girl, and would pray for forgiveness and that God wouldn't let me turn gay. After awhile of this, I managed to repress it completely and convince myself that the idea of two girls together was gross. About a year or so later, a friend told me her brother was bisexual, and my first question was "what's that?" She said it meant you dated both boys and girls, and I just shrugged and didn't say much about it. I was surprised because it hadn't really occurred to me that it was possible, but I still didn't recognize that that was me because I had stopped thinking of girls "that way." I also stopped masturbating around this time because I thought it was a sin and felt terrible guilt over it, and succeeded in pretty much repressing my sexuality as a whole, not just my sexual orientation. Through this period I continued having crushes on boys, but trying dilligently not to think too hard about it, and having crushes on girls without even realizing it. I would be staring at a girl in class, thinking how beautiful she was, and how interested in her I was, and would sometimes even think the word "crush" in connection to these feelings, but would quickly reprimand myself and tell myself it wasn't a crush, I just found her interesting was all, nothing sexual about it. I would be afraid I was teetering on the edge of lesbianism until I reminded myself of how much I liked boys, and breathe a huge sigh of relief, sure that I had to be straight if I liked boys that much. It wasn't until my junior year of high school, after I had shed my religious devotion (thank the Lord) and started to become more accepting of homosexuality and bisexuality that I thought, well, could I ever be interested in a girl? I thought not, but realized that if I ever was, I would be ok with that. I didn't think it likely to happen, but decided that if I ever did become attracted to a girl, it wouldn't be such a bad thing. As soon as I decided that, I started to have more "friendly interest" in girls my age, and kind of considered I might be attracted to them, but still didn't really think I was into girls that much. Then, the summer between my junior and senior years of high school, there was The Moment. A couple of my female cousins were staying at my house for a week, and there was a pool at my house, so we went swimming a lot. One cousin has really big boobs and her bikini was too small, and there was a diving board involved... suffice it to say I was wet in more ways than one watching her jump up and down on that thing. I couldn't stop looking, but looking was all I did. I was also starting to get involved with a guy at that time too, though, so I was really confused. One day I'd be sure I was a lesbian, then the next day I'd be making out with a guy. After a week or two of this back and forth that practically gave me whiplash, I suddenly remembered there was this thing called bisexual. Some people liked both, and it became clear to me that I was among that number. I became really eager to experement with a girl, but I was involved with the guy at the time, and I almost broke up with him to explore my other side, but he proved so accepting when I came out to him that I couldn't say the breaking up part, although he briefly did think I was breaking up with him just by coming out. I didn't break up with him, but I figured hell, we'll break up eventually anyway, so I'll just enjoy this for right now and date a girl next, whenever that is. A year later, the guy and I were not only still together, but got engaged. This woke me up to the idea that I might never get to be with a woman, and that scared me. I told him I didn't want to get married without having tried that, and we discussed the idea of FFM many times throughout our engagement, but it never happened. Now we are broken up, I am single, and I just went on my first date with a girl a few months ago! Nothing happened and it was kind of a boring date, but hell, you can't expect much your first try, right? I'm looking for a girlfriend now, still have yet to do anything sexual with another woman unless you count cybering; I've done that on this site a few times. Hopefully the start of classes will see me meeting a lovely bicurious lady, keep your fingers crossed for me!

[diamondfly82]

I think that I always knew that I was bi. It started at a very young age maybe 7 or 8 me and my girl friends would always play "boyfriends and girlfriends" is what we called it. We would mostly pull our pants down and hump on each other. Probably when I was in the 5th grade one of my girl friends ate me out for the 1st time boy did that feel great. Me and her fooled around alot I always wonder is she bi too but I haven't seen or talked to her in many years. but now as a women I still enjoy hummping other females and eating them out and them doing the same to me.

OMG We played that game too lol! I was always the boyfriend but I am soooo fem its ridiculous!

[citystyleguy]

some how i think that i have answered the question some where else here; dont remember my exact answer but i was like any one and horny as hell in my adolescent years, but found my interests wanting both girls and guys!

then the talk was only straight or gay, and talk about being confused!!!; by university, though still confused as hell, i no longer gave a damn, and plunged head long into a serious relationshiop with the most fanatastic guy on the planet!

some where along my sexual discoveries and what i was willing to do, some one put a name to my confusion, i said great, and kept plunging head-on into my relationships

so i knew that guys turned me on as much as girls, somewhere in my early teens, maybe even pre-pubescent, i just didnt have a moniker for by state of being!

[spartyhard]

when I was 12-16 i use to always jack off to porns or mags and I loved looking at the hot ladies and their pussies but the guys cocks always seemed to grab my attention. I really didn`t think about it but as I started to get older and had a girl friend I loved eating her. When she sucked on me I use to stare and wander how it felt to have a cock grow inyour mouth. One night a couple at a bar asked me over for a drink. She was hot and her pussy looked so good. as I started to eat her he came and stood by us she grabbed his cock and lifted my head to see it in front of me...well my chance to see finally happened.Now I still love eating pussy but also love having a cock to hold and suck on too

[69luvr]

I always was fascinated with women and their breasts. I was in a pool one day and a guy I knew joined me. We started talking about sex and I was looking at his sister. She was well developed. I was extremely hot and I suddenly felt his hand on me. I loved it. I reciprocated and enjoyed holding his. His sister was enjoying what she was seeing. I reacvhed out and touched her breast. He put his hand in my suit and I was in heaven. The three of us had several encounters after that and I learned how to kiss a male and swallow. I have been doing it ever since. She was great at experimenting and loved having her breats kissed. he loved having his manhood kissed as I did ! It was a great time for all of us.

[loopfruits]

This is my first post. I joined about an hour ago, lol.

Yesterday, after what felt like a long personal battle (I'm only 20), I finally admitted to myself that I am a bisexual woman. And I feel SO happy about this revelation. Calling it a revelation doesn't really fit. That sort of suggests that one moment I was straight, and the next POP I'm bi. There have been a lot of instances I've always cast to the side. Instances I ignored out of shame.

It all started when I was about 5 or 6, and there was this little boy who would spend the night sometimes. One night he asked me if I knew what sex was. Obviously I didn't. And he proceeded to show me. Mostly we just played with each others privates. But what I liked the most was when he would perform oral on me. All I knew is it felt amazing. As this went on, there was a girl I was friend's with in class who I was obsessed with, and who I wanted to be my girlfriend. I just thought it was all normal. Years later, I was friend's with this slightly older girl. We did everything together. We kissed the same boys and during the summers, spent every night in her bed. I looked up to her. I wanted to be her. She was so pretty, and I was such a tomboy back then. I remember this one instance where she mentioned a friend of hers said she was bisexual. My friend said that she didn't believe bisexuality/homosexuality was right. So I think that one conversation with her is one of the biggest reasons I've kept myself from the truth. One day she and I were driving around, going nowhere like we always did and she smiled at me in a way no one ever had before. I think I fell in love for the first time in that moment. From then on, whenever we were together I was constantly testing myself. Wondering if I wanted to kiss her or more. Truthfully, I didn't. But I would have if she wanted to. The only thing we ever did was feel each other up. It wasn't sexy at all though.

Around the same time I had this other friend. We held hands a lot, and one of the first times I slept over her house, it was me and another girl. The other girl fell asleep right away. So me and my friend stayed up talking. And then we were spooning, and she started caressing me in a playful/chaste way. I really liked it. I was about 12 at that time. After high school, I had this friend whom I'd known for a while, we just never really spent time together outside of school. There was this weird energy between us. I could never really make it out, until at this lame party we were all playing spin the bottle. The bottle landed on her, so we pecked. Then she spun, and it landed on me. When this happens you're supposed to make-out. I slipped her the tongue, and then we both pulled away immediately. That just confirmed what had been in the back of my mind. We had sexual chemistry. But it was freaky since we were friends.

All along I've felt ashamed of my feelings. It didn't help that my father openly teased me about being a lesbian, and then said he didn't believe gays should get married. Just knowing that if I were gay my father wouldn't want me to get married was devastating. Even though I still see myself ending up with a man, who knows what love with throw at me. And if I do decide to spend my life with a woman, I won't give a crap about what my father thinks. At least that's what I hope.

Only in the past year or so have I begun to watch porn. I like both hetero and lesbian porn. Actually, gay can be nice too. What I found in some lesbian videos is sensuality that is lacking in the hetero videos. That sensuality turns me on more than anything else. Although strangely, I like to climax thinking about being with a man. Up to that point though, its all about the woman.

Yesterday, I had sex with a guy. It wasn't my first time or anything but afterward I just felt clear. Clarity had come and I knew I was bisexual. Now, I'm just waiting to find a nice girl to explore my sexuality completely.

[Realist]

Welcome to the site, LF!

You are going through the same things most of us did .........and are still doing. Like the rest of us, you are learning more things about yourself s you go. I hazard a guess that your learning process will continue for the rest of your life.

You should find some good answers to your questions, here. There'll also be some who will attempt to irritate and confuse you. Take what you can use and ignore the rest. Only you can do what is best for you.

Sure, it's good to have some positive folks to discuss your inner-most thoughts and desires with, but ultimately, the answers for your happiness lies with you.

You are among friends!

[Annika L]

This is my first post. I joined about an hour ago, lol.

Yesterday, after what felt like a long personal battle (I'm only 20), I finally admitted to myself that I am a bisexual woman. And I feel SO happy about this revelation. Calling it a revelation doesn't really fit. That sort of suggests that one moment I was straight, and the next POP I'm bi.

Ah, loopfruits (I love your name, by the way), "revelation" is exactly what it is...it has finally been revealed to you what has been true for a long time!

Welcome to the site!

(By the way, in the interest of full disclosure, I'm probably one of the ones who will try to irritate and confuse you.:tong:)

[mikey3000]

I realized I'm bi the first time I was with a man, at age 37, my first real adult homosexual experience. It just felt so right. It was an epifany, an overwhelming revelation. Right away I knew there was no going back.

[loopfruits]

I'm looking forward to being irritated and confused, lol. The best parts of life, I say! ;)

Thanks for the kind welcome and understanding.

[olly_21]

Been on my mind and confusing me since i was 14 years old, in chat rooms talking to guys and got turned on by sex talk with them. Tried to fight it since then (now 22) and only fully accepted it and admitted it to myself just a week ago. I tried things with guys since i was 16, and always tried to tell myself, no i didnt enjoy it, i dont like guys. But i did enjoy it, and i do like guys sexually. I like girls, and have a gf atm, and she knows im bi and is ok with it. Just that i wasent ok with it for 8 years, even though deep down i guess i knew i was, so yhe only recently did i admit to myself, ok i know i like women, but i also like men. And do you know what, after 8 years of confusion, trying to fight it, trying not to like guys in a sexual way, i an finally happy, and i enjoy it that i am a greedy guy who likes both!

[MrDeville]

For starters, I'm a 51 yr old bi mwm. I discovered my sexuality when I turned 40, about 11 yrs ago. Up to that time, I always considered myself straight but due to circumstances beyond my control, I got bit by the "bicuriosity bug and I've been bi ever since. Being a married man and a dad, I try to conceal it whenever I can but it's always lurking out, as many of you know. So I need to be very discreet at all times.

[Lady_Passion]

I didn't know what bi was, but upon reflection first noticed it when other girls were equally and sometimes more attractive to me than boys. I remember thinking it seemed odd girls were always after boys and less each other.

And then there were the few times girls approached me directly, at which point I was sufficiently confused by religious and societal influences that I ended up pushing aside my attraction for women. That backfired for a long time. Never felt wholly committed to a man because something always seemed to be missing. Yet women annoyed me to no end with cattiness, jealousy and 3rd grade behavior among themselves and toward men, generally speaking.

I've always empathized with men about girl toys 'cause I see them as such myself. Not that women aren't people by any means and not that I don't have a close female friend to whom I am not sexually attracted at all, just that I've never had romantic inclinations towards women, only purely sexual attractions. I've never looked at a woman and thought I could have a lot of fun with one outside sex, or felt differently even if I got to know a woman I was attracted to. Just hot, sexy girl toys ;) Is that bad?

[bemyonlyone]

I think it is. Women have more to offer than just their bodies. Women are complete people, just like men are, and have brains and emotions and likes and dislikes.

If I were you I would examine why you feel that way.

[ErosUrge]

Wow!; where to begin?....
I know for a fact that it started when I was just a boy and with other boys in the bathtub when left to bathe by our parents...the usual curiosity of seeing each others penises and then fondling one another and getting excited seeing the others get hard and then my own reacting to it.
And then as I got older into my teens I had certain encounters at age 12 and 13 with another boy my age who lived 4 houses down and would come over whenever my parents left to run errands and we'd suck each other and jack each other off...and it continued with other guys from the area who hid the fact. One encounter was particularly a turn on at the swimming pool. Again it was at about the age of 12 or 13 and he would swim under water and play with my cock through my bathing suit giving me a real stiffy where I couldn't step out of the pool without it being obvious......
All this time my fascination and interest in girls was also very intense and I also had experiences with the girls too....the girls intrigued me more because it didn't happen as easily with them. But when it did, it was like magic; I always felt like I was in a trance. So though I was interested in both sexes, something about the girls always was more intense on an emotional level. With the guys, it was always and only about the sex as it has been to this day.
In my late teens and early twenties I decided to be open about it after reading, "Stranger in a Strange Land" by Heinlein and then also the influence of David Bowie who at the time was very open about being bi. But for some reason once I reached my mid twenties I became paranoid about being bi and then didn't want to be bi anymore and went into intense denial about it. This was a struggle that continued for years and I hid my urges and desires from everyone except those guys I played with of course. But the more I tried to deny to myself that these things were real in me, the more complicated my life became and miserable too. No matter how much I adored the women in my life, I just could never shake my desire for the need for male sex from time to time. My first wife knew accepting and allowing me to play with males. And my next serious relationship with a woman after that marriage also knew and allowed it too and even encouraged it. Just as long as I never crossed the boundary to play with women besides her. Both of these women never felt threatened by my encounters but for some reason I always felt it was wrong at that time and would return back to them feeling guilty. Strange.
It wasn't until 1998 when I finally once and for all made peace with it and stopped hiding it from everyone and especially from the women in my life after the two mentioned above. Prior to 1998, it was a very miserable time as I was so much in denial but continued to act out. It became a deep dark secret and I hated myself for hiding it from those women who never knew. And the more I tried to deny it, the more I felt the urge for it. It was such a relief when I finally came to terms with it and accepted it....in fact, it was beautiful. At least now I can live with myself about it.
I don't wear my sexuality on my sleeve and there are still some who don't know. But if they were to find out, I now know I wouldn't panic as I would have 15 years ago.....
It's great to be open and accepting within yourself about your sexuality regardless of whether gay, bi, tg, or straight...
Always a lengthy reply I know, but one thing leads to another...thanks for reading.

[olly_21]

Really like ErosUrge's reply there. I can relate to that bigtym. When you are in denial about it, its so difficult. The urges are there to have sex with other men, or to look at bi porn or whatever. And you try to fight it, you try to convince yourself that these arent real, or ok this time ill think about it or do it, but thats the last time. But in actual fact, these feelings are very real. Same with me, my interest for me is purely on a sexual level,abd only recently after 8 years of confusion, denial, have i sat down and finally admitted to myself that im bi, and these urges are real. And now i feel so free, altho telling other people is something i dont want to do right now. But to admit it to myself makes me feel happy, and a feling of releif, to admit that yes i do like men sexually, i get turned on by them, and i want to have sex with them. Women for me are still the number one if you like, and my current girlfriend is ok with me bieing bi. But in the future with any girl im with, i want to be able to tell her that im bisexual, and for her to be ok with it, and for me to feel free, and not trapped. I want to continue to have relationships with women, and sexual ones with men. Long reply to!

[Lady_Passion]

I think it is. Women have more to offer than just their bodies. Women are complete people, just like men are, and have brains and emotions and likes and dislikes.

If I were you I would examine why you feel that way.

I think it's an innate physical attraction and having never been romantically inclined toward a woman.

I didn't imply women are not complete people or that we don't have brains and emotions and likes and dislikes :.) I certainly do. Would never assume that of anyone. Just not romantically inclined toward women, so I get it when other people aren't. Otherwise, I love everything about women ;) They smell so good, soft and curvy, tasty.... *sigh*

[*Larissa*]

Hey evrybdy :) Before I fully realized that I was Bi, every once in awhile there would be another girl that I thought was really pretty and would think to myself, this would b really akward if I was a lesbian. And also feeling like I strangely wanted to be near her, look, and... touch?no, of course not! I really really liked guys after all. Well, not to blame my parents, but they raised me strictly as Christian and " strongly disapproved" of homosexual lifestyles- which made me ignore my feelings until I developed independent thought at age17. After I had slept with guys, I felt I was still missing something. Then I saw her. In my gym class(yes and changing in locker rooms) an innocent, shy, beautiful girl crossed my path and I couldn't get her out of my mind. She made me realize I was bi because I visualized exactly what girls can do to each other. I talked to her and was sure she was gay, but I read the signals wrong. I told her I'm bi and we're still friends today, but she'll never know she broke my heart! Sry long post but I'm a newb on this site and a newb to being bi- this was a year ago.

[bemyonlyone]

I think it's an innate physical attraction and having never been romantically inclined toward a woman.

I didn't imply women are not complete people or that we don't have brains and emotions and likes and dislikes :.) I certainly do. Would never assume that of anyone. Just not romantically inclined toward women, so I get it when other people aren't. Otherwise, I love everything about women ;) They smell so good, soft and curvy, tasty.... *sigh*

Yeah but you referred to them (us) as toys.

I guess...as someone who is mentally and emotionally attracted to women, it's hard for me to understand only liking them physically. In fact, I am always more attracted to a person's mind than anything else.

I would not want to be involved with someone who only liked women for physical reasons, I would get pissed off. I mean, what are you supposed to do, just have sex with her and then say goodbye? What about conversation? You're honestly saying you don't want anything from women except sex? That's ...hmm. Yeah. OK then.

[loopfruits]

^I think that's one of the reasons I found my sexual orientation confusing. With women I don't find sexually attractive unless there is some type of emotional connection. Although, women on tv shows/movies are exceptions to this lol. But one could argue you do develop a sort of connection to the character. I just never had the experience of seeing a pretty lady on the street and having the urge to throw her on the ground and fool around. ;) Obviously I think they are attractive, but wouldn't move things to another level. With men though, I don't need that emotional connection. I guess its more of an animal thing.

[Lady_Passion]

^
^

I'll go with loopfruits and concede it's my animal side with a tendency toward being more primal sexually. I see it, I want it BAD! Not that I give in to every urge, though if less evolved I might.

Honestly, I admit I am as bad as some men. When there is nice cleavage in front of me or perfectly perky breasts, I can barely talk eye-to-eye. And though I prefer men over women, I hate it when men do that to me, but love it when women stare at me. In fact, I shamelessly encourage it. There's a double standard for someone to parse *lol*

[loopfruits]

Who doesn't check out someone's cleavage? ;)

There's this girl in one of my classes who is constantly looking over at me with what I think is "the look." Who knows if it really is though...

[Lady_Passion]

Haha! Next time you catch her watching you, smile then casually run one hand from the inside of your knee up your inner thigh toward the outside of your hip or pocket. Watch where her eyes linger :.) Unless she's a tough cookie, you'll have your answer quick enough. People have difficulty not looking when they're caught by surprise.

[loopfruits]

Thanks for the tip, lol! I think I'll give it a whirl.

[bemyonlyone]

I stared at my friend's cleavage. I find it really hard to ignore bare skin, whether it belongs to a man or a woman. But I can control myself from looking.

[loopfruits]

I have a thing for a woman's bare shoulders. Should we not talk about this in here? Its sort of off topic, and I'm just not sure what the rules about that kind of stuff are here.

[Lady_Passion]

I love bare shoulders... women or men. Not off topic at all, I think. The first time I recall being attracted to women was watching an older girl, probably 18 or 19, at a swimming pool. I still remember how her swimsuit fit, nicely rounded ass, the muscles in her back as she pulled herself out of the water on the edge of the pool, the shapeliness of long thighs, and when she turned around the smooth line of her neck gracefully stretched like a swan as she turned around.... *warm in here*

[bemyonlyone]

Yeah, I'm kind of a rubbernecker when it comes to what you just described. I know it's rude to gawk but it's hard to help it sometimes.

Yet I don't like when others look at me...such a hypocrite I am. lol.

[ErosUrge]

I'm not sure how the last entries including this one I am adding have to do with the topic actually; somewhat related but in a roundabout way. But I somehow felt compelled to add my thoughts to some of the last posts here.
I really do understand the comments made earlier about experiences where attraction for some isn't fulfilling unless it's both mental and physical as I too have had those moments as well. But they are reserved for those who I am interested in on a more emotional and deeper level.
I take odds with the comment(s) in that it sounded like anyone who is interested in the physical only is somehow inferior for admiring and indulging in that way....
It is my preference to have substance in a relationship with someone that means something to me of course like anyone else. But there's also that side of me that enjoys the moment for the moment where passion and the willing to surrender to the moment is what's important. And it is with women that I primarily seek beauty,intelligence, sexual passion, and become emotional with. With men it is primarily physical and sexual passion. Contrary to what some believe, it is possible to enjoy the physical for only the physical and be very filled with that for the moment and for what it is, whether male or female....I don't think people should try to promote that the combination of intelligence and physical attraction are superior yet I understand why people do. Like anyone else, I also enjoy beauty and intelligence...it has a certain quality that is absent from just the physical to say the least. But I don't have to have both to enjoy the moment physically with someone to take it to the level of erotic joy and ecstasy. Again, all the better if there is a mental quality with the individual which is always an added bonus...but to reach the spirit of erotic bliss can be done if we're willing to let go of certain points of view that cloud our vision...then again maybe it's me who has clouded vision here.