huge crush on another mommy

[tinkslite]

We live in very straight, very mormon, very traditional marriage southern utah. I am not exactly straight, definitely not mormon, okay so my marriage is outwardly seeming very traditional (he is a local small business owner, i am a homeschooling stay at home Mom).
We are currently having a work related temporary stay away from home. I have a huge schoolgirl type of crush on one of the moms in our new homeschool support group.
She's funny, and funky, and informed. I love spending afternoons talking to her. I send her long rambling e-mails. I am so straitlaced and femmy looking (always wearing pastels, hair in ponytail, just a little lipgloss) and she is feminine in a much more earthy laid back way that I just love. Tattoos, purple streak in her hair, granolaish tendencies and all.
My son invited hers to spend the night w/us last weekend and I was dying to invite Mom along too.
I know she is open (theoretically speaking) to the idea of being w/a woman, due to our "girl talk." I've always been bad at whether I am being sent signals, and this is driving me nuts.
She is this gorgeous latina woman that I am aching to kiss (I haven't kissed another girl since high school, 20 years ago).
Any suggestions folks?
I am open to hearing anything.

[mindfinding]

Girls kissing boys, or girls kissing girls. Be sure you're straight with your husband because cheating is cheating.

I really do wish you all the best with this.

[tinkslite]

okay, I guess I was NOT clear. My husband knows all, including my mad crush. He is okay with this. He seems ok with the idea of me pursuing relationship with a woman, but not another man. Fine w/me.
I adore my husband and will not step out of any bounds that would cause him pain.

[the mage]

So long as hubby knows all, be sure that in a careful comfy quiet private place you let her know that you talked about it with your man first and he approves you telling her you have a crush on her.....

[TaylorMade]

So long as hubby knows all, be sure that in a careful comfy quiet private place you let her know that you talked about it with your man first and he approves you telling her you have a crush on her.....

Sounds like a plan, mage...

Tell us how it went, tink!

*Taylor*

[innaminka]

okay, I guess I was NOT clear. My husband knows all, including my mad crush. He is okay with this. He seems ok with the idea of me pursuing relationship with a woman, but not another man. Fine w/me.
I adore my husband and will not step out of any bounds that would cause him pain.

Be very careful in this respect. Its great that your husband appears to be understanding; the concept possibly excites him.
But......
Come the crunch, you are excluding him from a vital part of your life. I wonder how he would react?
I really think you need to be very very sure of your husband's - and your - positions once the kissing (and more) starts.
Its all very well talking, but actually doing something "concrete" can often cause unforseen reactions.

good luck. :flag3:

[tinkslite]

Yes.
My husband and I have a history with "unforseen reactions" in other areas. He grew up in a very controlling patriarchal religion, and left it as a married adult, when he realized it was not the inclusive all loving institution it purported to be. This was a major life change for him and there was a lot of fallout within our lives.
Throught that experience we have learned to be quite open with one another. I feel quite confident that he will share all predictable and unpredicted emotional responses, with me. I, in turn, do not expect to entirely exclude him. That is, I don't imagine myself "keeping secrets." While perhaps not inviting him to be physically present, or accompany me on dates (like some sort of new world chaperone?), I would not be able to be with someone who did not understand that Alan is my best friend and life partner in a very real way. I will not toss one thing over for another. I'm clear about this. Alan is clear. I will be clear with any potential girlfriend.
I am not overconfident, I understand that my relationship with my husband takes work. We have been together for 13 years, now. I'm not planning on ending that any time soon.
Thanks for being concerned about this.