Has anyone dated the same gender BUT that person isn't out yet??

[deletetacount123]

Has anyone on here dated someone of the same gender but that person wasn't out yet (or old only 1 or 2 people) ??
This person says her family will totally not accept her being gay, her father often rants about how bad it is and so on...... she still lives at home so I understand she'll rather not say anything right now.

Ive been talking to a girl I really like but shes the one Im refering to above.
I did ask her if she was ever gonna tell them and she replied she will after she got her own place and was in a serious relationship. She also doesn't care what they think anyway since it is her life :) You should always do what makes YOU happy otherwise you'll just be miserable. (like me with the ex....)

We have so much in common... really, its like shes a twin sister! :) We like the same stuff, agree on the same things, have the same disagreements on the same stuff and so on.
Shes young but very mature for her age, I think she looks very cute and she keeps calling me cute names whenever I say something silly lol

She is on the east coast so I kinda keep getting in "trouble" for keeping her up late hehe (its 9pm pst but 12am est hehe she ends up logging at 2am ooopies.) But she knows its not my fault :) we just keep chatting that time doesn't seem to exist lol Plus I did admit I would look at my clock but forget shes on a zone thats 3 hours later.
Ahh I need to move back on the east coast :) hehe

Im pretty happy :)
I wish I lived closer to her but shes in the states... I have no idea how the state/canada thing works. I might have to bug Flex and Sol about this later since Sol's an american and Flex is Canadian (I think... I know he moved to canada from the states lol)

NOW back to my question lol is it easy to date someone thats still in the closet??? Especially when one of thier family members has a "hate homosexuals" thing going on??

Me REALLY need to start a move back east plan lol

Tasha

[darkeyes]

Have done it a few times Tash...they have never lasted a great length of time, because there is just so much stress involved. I prefer to avoid it in long term relationships for that very reason, but have more frequently had one nite stands with someone who remains in the closet. It does have a parallel of an affair between two people when one or both is already married or in a relationship and these I do avoid like the plague.. fearof discovery, secreting away hoping not to be seen, sneaking about hoping for the best while never quite being able to be free.

There are places you darent go, things you cant do openly, always living in fear... I found the stress bad enough but am all too aware of how it was for the other girls. But if you care enough then you put up with it all as best you can and try and help them through a troubled time in their lives... Such relationships rarely last a great lentgh of time because of the stress, the insecurities, the dishonesty, but sometimes they do, but it takes a hell of person to manage to put up with it all. I just have never been that incredibly strong person to put up with it for long, but possibly that is down to the fact that feelings were never quite deep enough on either side...

The strange thing is now,Tash, for the first time I am in love with someone deeply enough who is not quite out of the closet completely..not to her family anyway. And to be honest its such a new experience really. Im not sure she will ever quite be able to be truly open with them, but all I can do is be there whatever she decides is the best way to lead her life. How the hell I am going to be able to deal with it I just dont know, but not by pushing her into complete openess. Feelings are much too deep for that, and respect for her much 2 great. Whether that reluctance to truly out herself will be too much of a cross to bear, and in time it will be the ruin of us, I cant say, but I am giving it my best shot... her unwillingness to completely out herself is just one stress, there are others, but with luck, and mutual support for each other we will get there whatever the stresses we have to face... am I incredible enough 2 get through it long term??? God knows.... sure as hell I dont.. Just havta wait and see what is our kismet.

[ohbimale]

Yes I have. It is a stressfull thing for both people. We were limited on where we could go and when. Plus there was the thing of not wanting to be seen showing physical affection and heaven forbid getting caught having sex. That stress also made it exciting. He was not out to his family and had no plans to come out. Although I was not out to my family I did not try to hide why I was going out at 1 and 2 AM in the morning...I was over 18 and horny, and if they put 2 + 2 together that I was having sex with another guy I did not really care.

It is a decision only you can make about how deeply involved you want to be with her. I wish you the best. Blessings. :bipride: :male: :male:

[CuddlyKate]

The strange thing is now,Tash, for the first time I am in love with someone deeply enough who is not quite out of the closet completely..not to her family anyway. And to be honest its such a new experience really. Im not sure she will ever quite be able to be truly open with them, but all I can do is be there whatever she decides is the best way to lead her life. How the hell I am going to be able to deal with it I just dont know, but not by pushing her into complete openess. Feelings are much too deep for that, and respect for her much 2 great. Whether that reluctance to truly out herself will be too much of a cross to bear, and in time it will be the ruin of us, I cant say, but I am giving it my best shot... her unwillingness to completely out herself is just one stress, there are others, but with luck, and mutual support for each other we will get there whatever the stresses we have to face... am I incredible enough 2 get through it long term??? God knows.... sure as hell I dont.. Just havta wait and see what is our kismet.
*Smiles and hugz Fran* :)

[the mage]

It seems the vast majority who play are in the closet to stay.