Bi Bears

[Hopeful Romantic]

I have a complete admiration for the 'bi bear" subset. Perhaps it comes from dating one, and having an amazing experience.

I have noticed though, that MANY, not all, bears are mostly looking for male partners. Am I misunderstanding the subset, or perhaps I have missed the memo all together.

Could anyone clue in this lost soul?
:bipride:

[DiamondDog]

hi.

I'm a bi "wolf" (a thin/muscular/athletic hairy guy) and lots of my friends are bears/cubs, and some of us are into leather/BDSM like me but not all of them are.

One of them is bi and he and I dated for a bit and it was nice as we had a lot in common besides our sexuality and we're still good friends.

Also one of my good friends is a bi wolf like me and he is married to a woman but they have an open relationship.

Yes lots of bears are gay but there are bi men too.

I've been to bear/leather events and they're fun and I didn't feel out of place but I didn't like how it's a grope fest and guys think that because you're there and hot that you're automatically into them or if you're just people watching that it means that you're cruising them.

I mainly go there to meet other like minded men, look at leather craftwork (clothing, bondage/SM equipment like floggers) and to dance with guys since I love doing that.

I can't say that I'm not looking for a male partner. I'd be OK with a female partner but I'd want it to be an open relationship and I do get more infatuated with men in general.

I've met some bi bears online and I mostly meet gay bears but I relate very well to both gay and bi men.

Just curious what's the admiration for?

I mean I have friends that are bears and I do associate with the bear "community", even if it has gotten A LOT more cliquish/cultish, and commercialized from when it first started.

I just see it as I'm a queer man who is attracted to other queer men who are butch and have body/facial hair and have more realistic and not so "perfect" bodies like twinks do that try to stay youthful or dread aging or anything like that.

I do admit that I am attracted to SOME androgenyous men (androgenous women too) and some men who are smooth and in touch with their feminine side or who act camp; but I'm only into guys that are this way for real and it's not an act/trite put on for attention, and I highly prefer butch hairy men.

At one time I did want to do bear porn but I never did that.

I wish that they made bi bear porn since most of the guys that are in bi porn aren't my type since they're twinky and look like Ken dolls.

[matterinhand]

I'm a bear, chunky and hairy, and whilst I enjoy men sexually i don't want a relationship more than a friendship with one.
Women are, by and large, lots more interesting to be with than straight men, and my romantic inclinations are hetero too.

[Fire Lotus]

I am married to a bi bear. I can say, he indeed loves women ;) . I also know a couple other bi bears that not only like men, but women too. So, they are out there. Don't lose hope :)

[Hopeful Romantic]

hi.


Just curious what's the admiration for?



I find "bearish" men far more attractive than the smooth bodied, or twinkish men. The rugged features, and solid bodies truely are my preference when choosing a male partner. Perhaps the word admiration is mis-used.

Cheers!

[Hopeful Romantic]

I am married to a bi bear. I can say, he indeed loves women ;) . I also know a couple other bi bears that not only like men, but women too. So, they are out there. Don't lose hope :)

LOL...

Hi there bunny lady!! Seems that I have you f-listed on LJ as well!! *wink wink*

Yes, I know that they are out there, and I remain hopeful, but they are so hard to find. Who knows, perhaps when the move to FL takes place, there will be new options.

(I have to admit that my last relationship left a definate impression.)

[roxllf]

I find "bearish" men far more attractive than the smooth bodied, or twinkish men. The rugged features, and solid bodies truely are my preference when choosing a male partner. Perhaps the word admiration is mis-used.

Cheers!


Yay! hope for us guys with beards :)

[Fire Lotus]

LOL...

Hi there bunny lady!! Seems that I have you f-listed on LJ as well!! *wink wink*

Yes, I know that they are out there, and I remain hopeful, but they are so hard to find. Who knows, perhaps when the move to FL takes place, there will be new options.

(I have to admit that my last relationship left a definate impression.)

*falls out of chair* M'lady!! *Huuuuuge grin*
Possibly there will be at least fresh options in FL. They might be a bit hard to find. But the hunt can be fun too. *wink*

[DiamondDog]

I find "bearish" men far more attractive than the smooth bodied, or twinkish men. The rugged features, and solid bodies truely are my preference when choosing a male partner. Perhaps the word admiration is mis-used.

Cheers!

Most guys who identify as part of the bear subculture are gay because it started out as a gay subculture.

It's always been around but butch hairy men don't necessarily call themselves bears or identify with that label, fashion, or attitude.

Just like guys who are into leather/butch drag don't always do BDSM.

I can't say that I actually am looking for a female partner as I don't seek out sex or relationships with most women. For example I refuse to date/get in relationships with heterosexual women. I'm more into queer/bi women and I don't want a relationship with a hetero woman.

I go through periods where I am either TOTALLY bi and I want sex with both genders and crave Male/male/female 3 ways, and think abouit both genders, or else I'll be basically "gay" and I find women to be icky and I don't get turned on by them at all and even if a woman is throwing herself at me I don't want sex with her, and then I'll eventually go back to being equal.

The only way I'd ever really get involved with a woman would be if we had an open relationship and she was perfectly fine with me having sex/relationships with other men too, without herself present (most of the men I've had relationships/sex with are gay and want absolutely nothing to do with women sexually at all) and she'd have to be a switch that would be into tying me up and into being tied up or having safe, sane, and consensual BDSM done to her, and doing the same to me.

I doubt I'll find such a person and I wouldn't ever force someone to change that way for me.

For the right guy I wouldn't need to do BDSM and I'd be fine with vanilla sex and I wouldn't necessarily want an open relationship with a man. :)

[darkeyes]

Hairy men... shivers an cringes... face hairy men...boaks.... :eek:

[bearisbare]

I am married to a bi bear. I can say, he indeed loves women ;) . I also know a couple other bi bears that not only like men, but women too. So, they are out there. Don't lose hope :)

*blush*

It has been interesting looking at how others see me as a bear versus perceptions of me as a bisexual man and whatever I do in terms of networking, activism, etc. in my local bi community. Many years ago a local bear group saw me and asked me to put on a "Bear Buddy" button at a nightclub. The bearness stayed pretty much under wraps until I became involved in a relationship with a bisexual woman who liked bearish men, a little over 6 years ago. Since then, I've known a few women who see the bear within, as well as the outer part of it all.

Last year, I married one of them, my Lotus. :-)

[FireTiger]

You missed the memo. lol

Yes, bears do prefer men. But that's because enough bears prefer men that people think that bears prefer men just because they're bears.



Bears prefer men, but not always because sexual orientation and sexuality is an individual feature.

[hadra]

A local bar in my gaybourhood hosts a bear night every Friday night... i've long had a thing for Bears, so i quietly drool every time i walk past the patio on Friday night... but alas most of the "Bears" that i've met are gay... yet i do hold out hope that some day a sweet chunky hairy kinky Bear will whisk me away to His den!