Differing sexual personalities.

[innaminka]

I've noticed - actually known for a long time that I have differeing personalities in regard to my sexual behaviour depending on whether I'm with a man or woman.
With a man I am gentler, probably less demanding, have some restrictions and generally always stay in control of my body.
With a woman, I'm far more of an initiator, more demanding, far, far more adventurous, have virtually no restrictions (no bondage, no Fido!! - that's it!) and usually just totally let go.

OK, maybe these are generalisations and there are a lot of blurred areas, but do other people in my situation (ie bisexually active) notice the same behavioural differences in themselves?

[SexyTanBiBoy]

I think your on to something. Now that I think about it, I'm much more relaxed around guys. It's like I have to prove something to a woman, but not to another man. Not sure I can explain why, and honestly, I really didn't think about it until now.

[the mage]

Well. I top women and bottom men....

[DiamondDog]

I'm rather dominant with both genders.

I can switch with both for SM/bondage and discipline. For SM I lean towards the dominant side where I give sensations, and for BD I lean towards the submissive side where I take sensations, but I can play/do either role.

I'm fine with spanking/paddling/flogging/whipping others and having them do it to me regardless of their gender. Same goes for bondage, being restrained, restraining someone, or tying someone else up.

Hell I've even let my hetero friends spank my ass and whip my ass with branches but they let me do it to them since I get them to do it to me since it's a game and fun to me and they know it turns me on but they're OK with it and doing it to me since I get to do it to them a bit.

It's kind of like how men of all orientations in university/college fraternities sometimes enjoy paddling each other's asses and seeing who can take the most swats! ;) :bigrin: :) :eek:

I'm not into anal sex at all but I get told that I'd be a top since I'm not into being fucked or having things inside me. But I don't go by that label at all since I don't NEED to fuck a man or a woman each and everytime I have sex and I'm fine without fucking and I don't get trapped into the whole top/bottom dichotomy of thinking or the roles that so many queer men get trapped into. Also, I don't want anal sex when I have sex with women since I'm more into giving oral sex and it's not like women have a prostate like a guy does.

I personally don't go by the top/bottom/versatile labels for vanilla sex (sex that doesn't involve any BDSM/kink, or anal sex between men) since I see the labels as being way too limiting, rather silly, and people concentrate too much on the label instead of the actual person.

I find it rather silly that men think that sex with a woman (even if it's a one night stand or a hook up with a woman) is "making love" while they don't think this at all about having sex with men, even if the guy would be classified as a lover/boyfriend. :rolleyes:

Plus western society puts pressure upon men to be in relationships with women, stay in relationships with women no matter what, and lots of men and even women too see other women as being property, and throughout the ages women have been seen as property and still are in certain cultures and societies.

I've fallen in love with men and I like it and I enjoy making love to men and the affection that comes with it. Kissing is a requirement as well as holding hands.

While I can fall in love with women and have relationships with them, I'd only want a relationship with a woman that's like me and it would have to be an open relationship where I could have sex with men without her.

On the whole I get a lot more infatuated with men and I relate to them a lot better emotionally, romantically, and sexually than with women, and I know a man's body completely unlike a woman's (LOL even if lots of women expect a man to somehow instinctively "know" their individual body which is rather silly thinking IMO). I think that it's this way for most men even if they don't admit it or don't want to admit it.

[bigregory]

I am still shy around girls(except my wife)
With a guy I do no feel that shyness.

[Lisa (va)]

I'm basically the same with my partner whether male or female in that I have a very passive nature; I have always been under the assumption that a persons gender should not affect how you feel about them.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[scubaman]

With females I am on the tender gentler side, with men I am still tender but a bit more aggressive. Don't know if it has to do with gender specific or what. Interesting post one which stopped me and made me think. Thanks!

[tell_no_one99]

with a woman I tend to be more sensual and caring with men its rough and I tend to be more submissive I like being told what to do. i guess I could be the same with a woman but I've yet to find a woman that Likes to be agressive

[anne27]

I tend to be more Domme with men and submissive with women.

My present g/f has a Domme side and I throughly enjoy letting her run with it. I am at the point in my life where I don't think I could be submissive to a man.
Haven't a clue why I'm like that, but it's how things are with me right now.

[darkeyes]

Am naturally submissive with both sexes... tho dont get ne ideas guys..it don go for me personality outside of me sex life!!! :bigrin:

An am pretty fond of playin the otha role 2... :tong: As they say..a change is a gud as a rest ;)

[izzfan]

Yeah, I think I definately have radically different sexual personalities with people of different sexes. I have only been with men so far, but I tend to find that I tend to be more sensual with this - I mean its usually more foreplay than anything else [although I like oral sex with men, I really don't like anal regardless of whether I'm top or bottom]. Also I feel very relaxed and comfortable being intimate with a man I'm attracted to, the whole experience of sleeping with a bloke is more emotional and it feels very 'natural'.

However, it is completely different with women. I have done hardly anything sexual with women [nevertheless, I am still attracted to some women] - unless I have been drinking, any physical contact in even a vaguely sexual way with women tends to put me on edge and make me want to flinch away [the only possible exception is when I've been drinking heavily, even then I haven't really done anything with women] probably due to a strange mix of suspicion, mistrust and paranoia. I guess that if I did sleep with a woman, it would probably be much less of an emotional/intimate experience and much more of a physical one. It probably wouldn't last as long either. However, it is something I wouldn't mind trying at some point in my life.

Izzfan :flag3: