the problem with bicurious guys

[mrplayfuluk]

is while they feel horny on here and chat away to you and talk about meeting on cam, in a coffee shop or in bed, a few days later they... well disappear once they have been sexually sated or had a wank and lose interest. They then return when they feel horny again. As I am looking to meet someone and enhance my bi life it can be quite frustrating. Anyone else experienced the same situations.... are there any UK bicurious guys who really are willing to pursue their desires rather than use others to flavour their fantasies?

[TrimBeardHairyBod]

I can certainly identify with what you said, MrPlayfulUK. That's been my experience too. Alas, the brutal reality is that casual sex is all about *taking* pleasure and fulfillment for oneself rather than giving it to others.

The only suggestions (and imperfect ones at that) I can give you are as follows:

1) Once you've made contact, try to build up some sort of wider / deeper rapport before you get into the heavy sex bit.

2) Enter into these relationships (not the best word to use, I know!) with nil expectations but always allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised.

Good luck!

[ErosUrge]

Yes, I too wonder about the bicurious label. I've certainly nothing against anyone being bicurious and welcome it. But I do always ask the person when talking to them what stirred their interest. It's curious to me those who all of a sudden when especially in their 40's express an interest. Again, nothing wrong with that at all. And sometimes people need to ease into these things I realize. But it can be frustrating I agree. There are those who do say they're bicurious especially with couples who have nothing more on their minds than to have the woman in the couple and either don't interact with the male or only allow the male to service them orally. Again, for someone like me, I certainly can oblige. And this happens to the single male bi like myself who goes to be with couples and the husand claims to be bicurious when really all he actually wants is a blow job from the single male. I have no problem with this either. Yet it does call into question how curious is that. Perhaps I am wrong in my assessment but to me bicurious would mean that the male who calls himself this would want to also have contact with the male genitalia and the act of sex besides just receiving a blow job. And maybe him receiving a blow job is just the beginning; it's difficult to say. However it is pretty obvious when all the male is seeking is only to make a connection with a female and with this, I would say the bicurious label is just a mask. But for those who are genuinely bicurious; welcome and have fun exploring.

[The curious teen]

Yeah, so true. A guy can fuck off and lose absolute intrest. Still, when a man is horny he wants to talk and fuck off. If not, he wants to sleep. I'd gladly meet at a coffee shop with someone, even if i fucked off and felt no longer horny. So it just matters on the guy. If he's like that, he's one hell of a lazy bastard.

[s_shunpike]

Wow! An awful lot of hostility toward bicurious men! Perhaps there is another side to the coin. In society it's okay if you are straight, it's even pretty okay if you are gay. But try and admit that you like or might like both sexes then you are branded some sort of freak. For many men out there this can almost be too much to handle. Anytime that there is a delay between the sexual desire and the actual act can leave time for the brain to kick in. This can lead to disaster. Rather than getting angry and chastising these men, perhaps some understanding and patience would help them over that intital wall and allow them to really and truly come to appreciate what the world of bisexuality can offer. If we as a collective strive to be more understanding, we could certainly help to swell the ranks!

:2cents:

[DiamondDog]

You can say this about all types of people no matter their gender or orientation.

I've met homosexual men, bisexual men, and heterosexual women who were just interested in having sex only and just getting what they wanted and then leaving ASAP.

[diamond_tether]

You can say this about all types of people no matter their gender or orientation.

I've met homosexual men, bisexual men, and heterosexual women who were just interested in having sex only and just getting what they wanted and then leaving ASAP.

We agree whole heartedly, except we'll add homosexual and bisexual women to the list of people we've met. It's the individuals themselves, it really has little to do with sexual orientation in our experience. Just try looking deeper into the people you meet and/or waiting longer to have sex with them. If they're only after the 'flavor', they'll get frustrated and move on to someone else. Either way, no one deserves to be treated like that if they don't want to. But, in the end, it's up to us to take the steps necessary to be sure of the kind of partner we're taking.

[DiamondDog]

We agree whole heartedly, except we'll add homosexual and bisexual women to the list of people we've met. It's the individuals themselves, it really has little to do with sexual orientation in our experience. Just try looking deeper into the people you meet and/or waiting longer to have sex with them. If they're only after the 'flavor', they'll get frustrated and move on to someone else. Either way, no one deserves to be treated like that if they don't want to. But, in the end, it's up to us to take the steps necessary to be sure of the kind of partner we're taking.

I agree.

I recently took a guy out on a date and yeah he was gay; but that doesn't really matter.

But he had the nerve and gall to say how I talked about nothing but sex but he said "oh let's go back to my place and fuck, or how about I just blow you?" when I'd told him before how while I've done tricks/one night stands/sex with anon strangers, how it winds up being a comedy of errors, and how when I have sex with people I prefer to know them, be friends with them, or at least be dating them.

[kinky_matt]

are there any UK bicurious guys who really are willing to pursue their desires rather than use others to flavour their fantasies?
Yes, I class myself as one of those people but I do not just want to meet someone on the internet that I have never seen a picture of ( groin not included) and that i do not find attractive, unless it is of course for purely friendship reasons. But i think you going to get any more conversations than you are meets and then their are always the real timewasters who you described perfectly in your post.
Matt

[Bicuriousity]

It is tough, of course having the name bicuriousity still implies that I am curious and haven't tried it!

The thing that is so tough, is to find a regular bisexual partner. It hasn't worked out so well for me and gay guys, many are distrustful of me being bi.

I did have one semi regular thing with another bi guy. He moved away, but we still keep in touch.

I say stick to what you want. I get on gay.com and chat alot but rarely if ever meet up with anyone.

Then there is the problem, what if you meet a guy that really turns you on? Recently I chatted with a guy on gay.com and he really turns me on alot, at least from face pics.

But one big problem: He's married. I'm not sure if I want to go there. Then again I have a girlfriend also. We have been supposed to meet up but it hasn't happened yet.

One thing about being bisexual that may be even more so than in heterosexual relations. Trust means everything. Of course I expect trust with the opposite sex as well, but with so many bisexuals being closeted, it is so important.

[damit1963]

I pretty much fall into the group you are talking about. I'm 44 y/o, married, never had a bi sexual experience, but classed myself as bi-curious. It all started when my wife told me her fantasy of 2 guys and herself, she no longer sees that as something she wants. I checked out videos, pictures, etc but have never gone "out" with someone of the same sex. I haven't posted any pics because of my job. If someone ever saw me or my real name on here I'd never live it down. So I write to a few people and ask questions about the lifestyle. I have thought about the sexual side, but am thinking of buying some anal toys first. I'm not sure where it will lead or whether I will go fully to the bi-sexual lifestyle. I did bring it up to my wife the other night, she didn't give me any kind of response, other than moving onto the next subject of nudism in the house.

[mrplayfuluk]

Wow! An awful lot of hostility toward bicurious men! Perhaps there is another side to the coin. In society it's okay if you are straight, it's even pretty okay if you are gay. But try and admit that you like or might like both sexes then you are branded some sort of freak. For many men out there this can almost be too much to handle. Anytime that there is a delay between the sexual desire and the actual act can leave time for the brain to kick in. This can lead to disaster. Rather than getting angry and chastising these men, perhaps some understanding and patience would help them over that intital wall and allow them to really and truly come to appreciate what the world of bisexuality can offer. If we as a collective strive to be more understanding, we could certainly help to swell the ranks!

:2cents:


Yes but you're missing a crucial point here. I class myself as bi curious too.. as I haven't had any bi experiences since my teens, much as I'd like to change it. So I appreciate what you're saying. There is no anger here just frustration. Most Bi curious guys posting here would agree that they would feel safer in their early 'toe dipping' with other guys in a similar place to them, so there is a collective already.
What might be useful is if those looking here who have already got past 'first base' already, share their first times (and how they felt after) with the bicurious to perhaps reassure them that it can be good fun and not the scary experience they expect. Maybe that way the collective, as you call it, will be working together....

[wolfcamp]

mrplayfuluk:
I probably am one of the very guys you are talking about, because I have had encounters with men and either I wasn't enthusiastic about the experience or I was anxious to end the encounter and get away. It's not a completely selfish attitude and there might be a number of reasons why I act the way I do. I like to get my pleasure from an encounter, but I also want to give pleasure too. It really depends on the guy I am with. I really need to have a number of factors in place before I am able to let loose and throw off all the my social conditioning that tells me to be a masculine, heterosexual male.

I suppose I have an ideal guy in mind. I may agree to meet a guy who doesn't fit that ideal, but I might find midway that I don't really want to be there. I'm not attracted visually to men the way I am to women, so it's hard to know on first sight if I'll be comfortable with someone or not. I know what I don't like, which is overweight and ungroomed, but for me, the attraction is more psychological. I don't think I've ever looked at a guy and thought, 'He's hot, I'd like to jump on him', but I've thought that way about a lot of women.

The one guy I was really attracted to was about my size and shape, and very masculine, but he was also very patient, nurturing and respectful. He was a very 'take charge' guy, but at the same time he went very slowly and made sure that I was ok with the situation. I am always shy and nervous on first meeting a guy, and it's important to me that they aren't overly aggressive. If I met a guy and the the first thing he said was, 'Let's fuck', then I'd probably run right back out of the room. This guy I liked was willing to go slowly through several stages of talking, and touching to gain each other's trust before going on to more sexual stages. The guy just seemed to have what I was looking for. Because of my social conditioning, I was a little traumatized by our first meetings, but I wanted more, and I became more comfortable in later meetings.

So, please don't be so harsh on the bicurious guys. They might have very specific motives for seeking the company of another guy. If they don't find what they are looking for, they probably won't be very enthusiastic. It's not your fault, but it's not their fault either.

[happyjoe68]

Wow! An awful lot of hostility toward bicurious men! Perhaps there is another side to the coin. In society it's okay if you are straight, it's even pretty okay if you are gay. But try and admit that you like or might like both sexes then you are branded some sort of freak. For many men out there this can almost be too much to handle. Anytime that there is a delay between the sexual desire and the actual act can leave time for the brain to kick in. This can lead to disaster. Rather than getting angry and chastising these men, perhaps some understanding and patience would help them over that intital wall and allow them to really and truly come to appreciate what the world of bisexuality can offer. If we as a collective strive to be more understanding, we could certainly help to swell the ranks!

:2cents:

Hear, hear.

Don't be to hard on these bicurious guys. I dont think it has everything to do with them wanting to have sex and then fuck off. Having chatted to a few online, its as much about their nerves than anything else. If I like the look of someone I'm willing to meet them and chat to them and see how it goes - that's how I met my first male lover. However, for these bicurious guys the online world is a safe environment to express their desires, but having to confront their desires in the real world by meeting someone is probably a bit too scary for them. They need to be shown understanding and patience.

[Azrael]

They need to be shown understanding and patience.
Absolutely. I didn't figure myself out overnight, nor do I imagine most of us did.

[welickit]

We put curious in a class of their own. We skip that class. To many fakes and liars to sort out. :2cents:

[Yummycox]

I agree with you, There are many here that just want to phone sex and play games. I haven't yet met a real Bisexual from this site, I moved to a new location and trying to find where my kind is at is very hard. But I still try and give you the benefit of doubt. Well, I think that most (Fake ) male bisexual are just not ready to face themselves when it comes to a reality check.

[DiamondDog]

Absolutely. I didn't figure myself out overnight, nor do I imagine most of us did.

Agreed.

I have no issues being someone's "first time" as we were all like this once.

[DiamondDog]

I agree with you, There are many here that just want to phone sex and play games. I haven't yet met a real Bisexual from this site, I moved to a new location and trying to find where my kind is at is very hard. But I still try and give you the benefit of doubt. Well, I think that most (Fake ) male bisexual are just not ready to face themselves when it comes to a reality check.

How are some of the male bisexuals here fake?

I have tried to message a few hot guys from my area but nobody returns messages.

[s_shunpike]

We put curious in a class of their own. We skip that class. To many fakes and liars to sort out. :2cents:

Okay, we preach tolerance and acceptance, and yet state that if you are not experienced - then we don't want you.

I am curious here - when you realized that you were bisexual, were you immediately experienced? How does one be able to cross from curious to bisexual without learning? Seems to me to be a catch22. Did you automatically know that you liked ice cream before you ever tried it?

Seems to me that the sure fire way to make sure that someone doesn't try something to see if it is right for them is to shut them out in the first place or to generalize them. I am sure that there are liars and fakes out there who are curious. Just as I guarantee that there are liars and fakes who label themselves Bisexual (without the curiosity).

I think that the entire situation should be case by case and not generalized. Isn't that the point of personals - (straight, bi, gay, lesbian, etc) to sort out the liars, cheats, fakes and freaks?

Rodney King put it best - "Can't we all just get along"

[Azrael]

We really gotta try to steer clear of this us and them bullshit, to put it tersely.

[s_shunpike]

We really gotta try to steer clear of this us and them bullshit, to put it tersely.

Well put!

[wolfcamp]

We put curious in a class of their own. We skip that class. To many fakes and liars to sort out. :2cents:

Fakes and liars? Hmmmm... I'll try to be a gentleman and not say what I'm thinking about that statement and the person who said it. [angry reply deleted]

WC

[jem_is_bi]

I waited and debated until I was 58 years old before I decided that I was so far beyond bicurious that action was required. However, I did not dabble with and tease others about having sex. It was either, have a nice day or I want to eat you now that went through my brain. Then, I tried to keep the conversation within their comfort zone. Sometimes, I should have been more forward or sometimes I should have been more reserved. So, often, neither of us was satisfied and occasionally I regretted that I had not had the wisdom of retrospect. Truely, bicurious, means "fragile, hadle with care". However, they will try again and hopefully be fulfilled before they are 58 years old and I eventually got what I wanted.

I hope all bicurious have an easy and much faster transition (to what ever they truely are) than me.

JEM

[CountryLover]

Okay, we preach tolerance and acceptance, and yet state that if you are not experienced - then we don't want you.

I am curious here - when you realized that you were bisexual, were you immediately experienced? How does one be able to cross from curious to bisexual without learning? Seems to me to be a catch22. Did you automatically know that you liked ice cream before you ever tried it?

Seems to me that the sure fire way to make sure that someone doesn't try something to see if it is right for them is to shut them out in the first place or to generalize them. I am sure that there are liars and fakes out there who are curious. Just as I guarantee that there are liars and fakes who label themselves Bisexual (without the curiosity).

I think that the entire situation should be case by case and not generalized. Isn't that the point of personals - (straight, bi, gay, lesbian, etc) to sort out the liars, cheats, fakes and freaks?

Rodney King put it best - "Can't we all just get along"

I went from "100% straight" to "Bisexual" in about 15 seconds flat - with no physical experience involved. I simply knew, when the term "Bisexual" was defined for me, that I'd finally found my niche.

That was proven out when I finally met the woman who became my first female lover. It took 18 months of learning, studying, talking with many other bisexuals before I looked for her.

Somehow I was never "bicurious". However, I *HAVE* been used by those who just want a quick experiment or to dabble their toes. It's a pretty icky feeling.

[etncple]

I think we forget sometimes that almost all of us were "curious" at one time. Even tho I had a few experiences yrs ago in my 20s, I just thought it was part of experimenting new things, since I didn't have any other experiences for along time. All of a sudden, in my 40s a great desire to try again aroused my curiosity, and i decided to act on them. After meeting a cple, and playing with both of them, I knew I was bi and accepted it. We actually prefer playing with new bi/bicurious people. We have been stood up a number of times but the few we have played with have been a source of fun and excitement. Some people just have a harder time accepting this side of themselves and I do understand that. I am just glad I am not one of them and neither is my wife. As a group of people we "bis" are really not well accepted by either the gay or str8 world so lets not be too judgemental on people who generally are confused or afraid of their own feelings. :2cents:

[REALBICPL]

,bicurious guys,,,,,,Hmmm. We find they are all talk and no action, very hard to get to know, secretive( mostly because 90% are married), and generally just filling a "fantasy" and probably jacking off to the idea of male to male contact, but never commiting to going all the way. :(
My advice to "Bi Curious Guys"...just do it or quit wasting peoples time.... :cool:

[mrplayfuluk]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HELLO GOOD PEOPLE)))))))))))))))))))))

please read all the posts including my follow up before adding... it strikes me that some people on forums don't follow through the threads and put their two cents worth after reading only the initial comment. Forums are dynamic and views change even those of the original poster. To reiterate, I am bicurious too and this is not a critique of generally bicurious people only those who let you down without a word.. as if by being virtual you don't have feelings too. Its more about good manners than stereotyping a whole group. Ok as you were...
;)

[ncman]

In my opinion we were all bi-curious at one point in our life. Until we meet someone who we were comfortable enough to begin our exploration. Bi-curious is just a titile someone invented to put a label on people and there are way to many labels out there.
We need to focus on what is important is supporting each other instead of putting each other down. Men and women who are bi-curious are just a the stage of trying to figure things out. If you know upfront someone is bi-curious, you are fully aware of the issues. I was once at that stage and took me a longtime to admit to myself that I was bisexual. I grew up thinking that something was wrong with me and that society would not accept who I am but to hell with everyone else as long as I am comfortable with myself. Only a few select people in my life know and that is al that is important.

Peace and remember to support and not criticize. :bigrin:

[isotopeblue]

At least bi-curious guys are willing to have the "bi" morpheme in there somewhere. What gets me is the guys who identify themselves as straight in their profiles, and then write wanting to meet for a quick blowjob. (Sorry guys.) One called himself straight, but mentioned in email that all his sexual encounters had been with men for the past six years. I understand (and have experienced) the prejudice against bi males, and yes we all got taught in Bi 101 that everyone gets to choose how they self-identify. But I still find this creepy.

[TaylorMade]

I may not be a guy, but I had this interesting predicament. . . I KNEW I wanted to do it and was honest about being bi-curious. But it was all the bi fems that backed out on my ass. I showed up, I waited, I had my time wasted.

It wasn't until one woman who wanted to get back in the swing of things took pity on me. Feb 1st, 2002.

Never forget it.

*Taylor*

[matterinhand]

Speaking from experience, having been one of those 'fuck and run' people, I think that I would say its because I was scared of what I was doing.

A stiff prick has no conscience, offer me a man or a woman when I'm really horny and I'll just get down to it, but nowadays I won't cum, wipe, and vanish. But thats because I wouldn't be doing it somewhere I was likely to be discovered, which was, a lot of the time, what I was doing before.

When you can't take someone home, and you're too scared to go to theirs, but you still want relief you are likely to finish and want to get away.
I've done it, and I've had it done to me.
Not nice and I apologise to anyone I offended.

[bicurious_1]

I admit I am one of those that tends to talk a semi-good game about being bicurious but when it comes down to it I don't know if I have the actual nerve to go through with it. I also will be the first to admit when I am chatting with someone that I am CURIOUS and don't know if that means that it is a fantasy or mental fetish or that I actually have bi-tendencies. For those that think I should shit or get off the pot, well, I understand your feelings, but in the long run it doesn't take away the years of social learning that we have all endured that makes the idea of being with someone of the same sex a huge taboo.

I am probably leaving things out, but I think that reflects some of my attitude towards why I am the way I am the way I think.

:bigrin:

[spartca]

Okay okay okay, let's just admit it, the problem with bicurious guys is that they're just *curious*. Usually it doesn't go much past curiosity, dammit! :)

[biwords]

At least bi-curious guys are willing to have the "bi" morpheme in there somewhere. What gets me is the guys who identify themselves as straight in their profiles, and then write wanting to meet for a quick blowjob. (Sorry guys.) One called himself straight, but mentioned in email that all his sexual encounters had been with men for the past six years. I understand (and have experienced) the prejudice against bi males, and yes we all got taught in Bi 101 that everyone gets to choose how they self-identify. But I still find this creepy.

A guy who's had sex with men only for six years and self-identifies as straight....hilarious! To paraphrase Dorothy Parker, I think I'll self-identify as Marie of Rumania.

[DiamondDog]

Okay okay okay, let's just admit it, the problem with bicurious guys is that they're just *curious*. Usually it doesn't go much past curiosity, dammit! :)

That's not necessarily true.

Anyway why does it matter if someone's curious or not?

Even before I'd really ever had sex with someone I knew I was bi but not everyone's like this.

I don't mind being someone's first time and I don't mind being a mentor or anything like that. ;)

I do support sexual exploration because how else are you supposed to figure out what you are and what you're into or not into?

[roxllf]

Being Bi-sexual was a choice for me I wasnt born that way. I never even considered being with another guy, even kissing until Laurel came along and made me realize how much fun I was missing out on.

With the huge amount of stigma attached to men playing with men in our society its no suprise alot of men back out. It's not easy being raised as a manly man and admiting to yourself you can enjoy a mans touch, never the less addmiting it to sombody else.

I was curious for a looong ass time before I actually played with a guy and I still get twangs of guilt about it. So if your lucky enough to be able to stare your bisexuality in the face an not flinch more power to you. But most guys have a huge mountain of baggage to surmount before they get there.

Rob

[ForbiddenWindow]

okay so i've done my research. allow me to induldge.

I believe being bicurious is going through a stage, if you are attracted to
members of your own sex and never really done anything. Doest that label
you as bisexual? Being bicurious and all that, I believe this puts on
a different face of a person.

There are several different kinds out there, so I've seen at least. Hell
what can I say, I'm bicurious but I'm open to anything. I'm even open
to a decent relationship if the guy isnt a total asshole, and no i'm deffinitly
not going to have sex on the first date with a guy.

If you got a bicurious guy already going for the meat. Then he's not
really bicurious anymore. I'd consider him bisexual. Past tense and
Post tense, what happens and what happens after.

But admit it, some young'uns are just way to scared to do anything. Still
fits the description of bicurious. Technically i would wanna have that happen
to me personally but still.

You have my view points on being bicurious, feel free to comment.

[vices2habits]

I identify now -- fifteen years later -- as "comfortably bisexual" (and often add also "and not merely curious"), but there was a two-year period in the closet following that first life-changing encounter.

I feel for those truly sincere and searching brothers-in-exploration out there... but the "curious" moniker does signal "married and cheating" wayyyy too often, or someone who will back out at the last moment, not show, etc. Too busy for that, so I pass those ads by.

Curiosity is just too easy to resolve, it seems to me. I mean, you can go to a gay bathhouse and find out if you really like fucking and sucking men or not (and there are so many to choose from).... I'd recommend it to the truly, sincerely "curious."

[vittoria]

i SO understand... its annoying how insincere people can be

from my point of view however... unless all you really want is laid and that has been discussed in previous that its only a one night stand... then fine... at least be honest about it people...

whats the purpose in telling someone your name, giving them your email addy and all sorts of other stuff just so that you can be forgotten?

"inconceivable!!"--The Princess Bride

[Apleasureseeker]

The whole thing about dating is that it's hard to find people who are looking for the same thing that you are--whatever that is. Bisexuality makes it even more complicated. I know pretty women who are hardcore lesbians but call themselves bisexual because they think lesbians are unattractive by definition. So what's in a word? I'm always bothered by people who see some urgency in pinning labels onto anybody. In the real world, straight people have gay sex, gay people have straight sex, and it's really nobody's business as long as no one's being hurt or maligned.
You can't expect a certain mode of behaviour from anyone, regardless how they label themselves.
I'm bicurious, but in cycles. When my sexual energy is high I'm comfortable going both ways. It's not uncommon that seconds after a good strong bigasm, I loose the desire completely. It has nothing to do with the person I'm with. When the cock-energy isn't high, I'm totally straight. Think it's like that with a lot of guys.

[DiamondDog]

When the cock-energy isn't high, I'm totally straight. Think it's like that with a lot of guys.
It's not that way for me.

I'm either SO into men that I wonder if I'm homosexual and I have no desire to be with a woman sexually and the idea of having sex with a woman or seeing a woman's body naked grosses me out and is disgusting to me.

Then I go back to being this way (how I am most of the time):

Or else I'll be totally equal and I'll crave/want male/male/female 3 ways.

I was telling a friend today I asked him if he would ever have a 3 way with two women at the same time and he said yes and I said how for me that I have no interest in doing that since I crave men and I would want a male/male/female 3 way or an all male 3 way, and I don't want a male/female/female 3 way at all.

[hydropop]

Wow! An awful lot of hostility toward bicurious men! Perhaps there is another side to the coin. In society it's okay if you are straight, it's even pretty okay if you are gay. But try and admit that you like or might like both sexes then you are branded some sort of freak. For many men out there this can almost be too much to handle. Anytime that there is a delay between the sexual desire and the actual act can leave time for the brain to kick in. This can lead to disaster. Rather than getting angry and chastising these men, perhaps some understanding and patience would help them over that intital wall and allow them to really and truly come to appreciate what the world of bisexuality can offer. If we as a collective strive to be more understanding, we could certainly help to swell the ranks!

:2cents:


Talk about someone with insight , I couldnt have put it any better. You sumed it all up in that quote. Well PUT

[hydropop]

It's not that way for me.

I'm either SO into men that I wonder if I'm homosexual and I have no desire to be with a woman sexually and the idea of having sex with a woman or seeing a woman's body naked grosses me out and is disgusting to me.

Then I go back to being this way (how I am most of the time):

Or else I'll be totally equal and I'll crave/want male/male/female 3 ways.

I was telling a friend today I asked him if he would ever have a 3 way with two women at the same time and he said yes and I said how for me that I have no interest in doing that since I crave men and I would want a male/male/female 3 way or an all male 3 way, and I don't want a male/female/female 3 way at all.


I think its time to come out , By reading that post I would say your Gay.
Dont take offence, but that how I took that post.

[*pan*]

yea i hate that, they put on all the airs, talk the talk but run when asked to walk the walk, i think it's all in their heads, and probibly never even been with a guy for sex, the excitement for them is the idea or fantasy of having sex with a guy but never carring it out. this is frustrating for real bisexual people, too many times have i been stood up waiting for someone to show. if all the curious only's stayed out of the fourms and chat rooms, then you would know who was who and at least stand a better chance of hooking up.

[the mage]

We live in a video world and men are visually stimulated creatures.
Meaning, "Dam it looks hot on film"..
but the reality of the sights, sounds, and smells of the imperfect man in front of him often takes the life right outa l'il willie.

You're simply a horny man gettin his rocks off with guys if you suk n fuk n run.

If you chat and kiss and cuddle, you're Bi with a capital B.

[DiamondDog]

We live in a video world and men are visually stimulated creatures.
Meaning, "Dam it looks hot on film"..
but the reality of the sights, sounds, and smells of the imperfect man in front of him often takes the life right outa l'il willie.

You're simply a horny man gettin his rocks off with guys if you suk n fuk n run.

If you chat and kiss and cuddle, you're Bi with a capital B.

That's a bizzare standard to go by for defining bisexuality among men and other people.

Contrary to the popular belief not all men want/desire sex with other men, all types of people of all genders/orientations have casual sex, and even gay men are into random hookups or the "suk n fuck n run".

Some people just want sex with others and IMO there's nothing wrong with this as long as both/all the people involved know that's what it is, nobody gets hurt emotionally or is forced into doing anything sexual that they don't want to do without their consent (i.e. rape, abuse, or sexual assault), and it's what the other person/people and everyone wants/agrees upon mutually.

hydropop-don't worry I am out already to family/friends as being queer/non hetero. I honestly don't care if people see me as being gay and not bi, or if they meet me and assume that I'm homosexual.

Even if I do wind up with a man as a longterm partner or wind up being more often than not sexually attracted to men or my attractions to women were to somehow dissapear completely (which I don't see happening even if I'm probably more into men), it's not a big deal.

[Music Girl]

hydropop-don't worry I am out already to family/friends as being queer/non hetero. I honestly don't care if people see me as being gay and not bi, or if they meet me and assume that I'm homosexual.

Even if I do wind up with a man as a longterm partner or wind up being more often than not sexually attracted to men or my attractions to women were to somehow dissapear completely (which I don't see happening even if I'm probably more into men), it's not a big deal.


Amen to that DD. It sounds like you truly know who you are, and I think that's the most important thing.

I am not fond of labels. Some of us are equally attracted to men and women, some to one sex more than the other. I don't think it's right for someone to tell you that you're gay, just because you're more attracted to men. No one can know exactly how another person feels.

I think we all go through an "adjustment" period, where we are trying to accept our bisexuality. I imagine it is difficult if one person has accepted their bisexuality and embraced it and the other person is still unsure. In the end, the key is being open and honest.

[bibudbuddy420]

I think that most men are bicurious in that all men will occasionally fantasize about having sex with another guy. Many dudes want what they want when they want it. If you really want to do a bicurious guy you would probably have to develope some kind of relationship to make sure they are comfortable with the fact and ready to switch at any time. Being a "virgin" bisexual dude i can relate to the uneasiness of some bicurious guys and understand where they come from.

[Tingly_Tickles]

Being Bi-sexual was a choice for me I wasnt born that way.

Uuuuummmmm ok that's really weird to hear cuz I thought that people were born
with feelings huh oh well guess I could just choose to never think about feelings
again I suppose.

Wait maybe the feelings were there they were just ignored ever think that could
be true, hell I always knew something was different about me and I knew it very
early on like when I was just about 7 or 8 I knew I liked looking at guys and gals.

I believe we are born the way we are no matter what some of you might say out
there, and when we come to terms with it then we make our own decision what
to do about it.

Bi curious guys are just scared and don't know what to think about it I'm sure
they probably think like most of society is looking at them oddly because they
aren't gay or straight but instead want both.

[gthommo]

Surely the sort of "curious" people you're likely to hook up with on a site like this are in the earliest stages of their exploration. If that's where they're at then I'm happy to encourage/enable a good cyber wank and leave them to carry on. For some (marrieds for eg) an online wank with another guy might be just what they need.

As is clearly emerging from the comments, what's needed is a bit of honesty alongside the excitement. In my experience this site is at least 70% fantasy to 30% possibility.

Cheers,

Geoffrey

[spartca]

Thanks Geoff, I rest my case :)

[DiamondDog]

Surely the sort of "curious" people you're likely to hook up with on a site like this are in the earliest stages of their exploration. If that's where they're at then I'm happy to encourage/enable a good cyber wank and leave them to carry on. For some (marrieds for eg) an online wank with another guy might be just what they need.

As is clearly emerging from the comments, what's needed is a bit of honesty alongside the excitement. In my experience this site is at least 70% fantasy to 30% possibility.

Cheers,

Geoffrey

yeah it's annoying.

I've written to people from around my area on this site, and a lot of times they won't even write back!

It's not even sex or a hook up I'm asking about either.

This one guy I just asked him if he goes to a certain bar I go to with friends in a nearby town, and he never wrote back.

I had one really old guy from my area send me a nasty PM about how based on my profile he can somehow tell that I'm really gay and that I should just come out now.

At least I don't bareback (unprotected anal sex) like this guy who sent me the nasty PM does, and let people fist me without latex gloves, like he does.

This is all going by his personal pics that he posted where he is shown having cum come out of his ass and being fisted by someone without the woman/man wearing a glove, and he's wearing neon pink dayglo briefs and trying to be younger than he is.

[BicuriousWA]

I labeled myself as bicurious because I have never had sex with a man. I really wish I could find the right situation. As you all know, in this day and age cruising is not a good thing to do. I've felt an attraction to both males and females since puberty. Being penetrated has also been an interest of mine since that age. The environment I grew up in forced me to stifle my feelings. I've been actively getting in touch with these feelings again for at least five years. Being married with a family tends to limit your opportunities. Nevertheless, if I could develop a friendship that would allow me to experience this it would be a dream come true. Unfortunately, I have to stay in the closet. Having a son that is anything other than straight would bring great shame to my parents and destroy my family. I'm sure this is a scenario that has been described a countless number of times. I agree that there are people that only want to get off but in some instances chatting is all that some of us have.