I guess I'm out now... Sorta.

[TaylorMade]

On the way to class. . .my dad , point blank, asked me, "Personal question, are you bisexual?"

I was so flummoxed by the suddenness of the question and it's lack of dancing around... I just answered, "Yeah."

I'm still suprised I even bothered to answer.

We'll see if the peace in my house is maintained now that one of my parents knows.

Feels wierd now.

*Taylor*

[NorthBiEast]

I came out to my mom a few weeks ago, okay, big hurdle over. It was kind of weird, but we haven't mentioned it again, and things are back to normal. The other day, mum and dad, my hubby and I were talking, having a grand time, and the topic of sexuality came around, in a way that normally would spark some fun philosophical discussion or funny joke at my brother's expense (we tease him about EVERYTHING, particularly his lack of girlfriends). Instead of that, there was this long awkward silence, like everybody was waiting for me to say something. I knew right then that she'd told my dad (which doesn't surprise me; I wouldn't come out if it meant relying on someone else's secret keeping abilities), and inside I just shrugged. Somebody changed the topic and we were off again like nothing had happened.

I think parents realize that we are who we are. The fact that they know more about us now than they did does not change who we were before. Like when you're in high school and they first figure out that you're having sex. You move on, They move on and everybody feels a little older.

Sounds like your dad had a pretty shrewd idea to begin with, if it was REALLY going to bother him, he wouldn't have asked. :bipride:

[Johnny Reb]

On the way to class. . .my dad , point blank, asked me, "Personal question, are you bisexual?"

I was so flummoxed by the suddenness of the question and it's lack of dancing around... I just answered, "Yeah."

I'm still suprised I even bothered to answer.

We'll see if the peace in my house is maintained now that one of my parents knows.

Feels wierd now.

*Taylor*

Wow. If it was me, I would have asked what made him ask such a question. My girlfriend said she had me pegged for a long time for a variety of reasons (namely, I would check out guys and girls in public, even if I was unaware I was)

No shame in being honest, I hope that the peace is kept in your house. We cannot control how other people will respond, and cannot make them understand. If your parents love you, they will accept you for who you are, even if it is a challenge for them to understand your bisexuality :flag2:

[TaylorMade]

Wow. If it was me, I would have asked what made him ask such a question. My girlfriend said she had me pegged for a long time for a variety of reasons (namely, I would check out guys and girls in public, even if I was unaware I was)

No shame in being honest, I hope that the peace is kept in your house. We cannot control how other people will respond, and cannot make them understand. If your parents love you, they will accept you for who you are, even if it is a challenge for them to understand your bisexuality :flag2:

I think he saw me surfing this site, but I do know that my dad has AMAZING gay-dar. He can pick gay out long before even that person themselves knows.

I'm not feeling shame, more a numb suprise. I think my father simply wanted a confimation of the suspcions he must have felt for years.

*Taylor*

[Johnny Reb]

I think he saw me surfing this site, but I do know that my dad has AMAZING gay-dar. He can pick gay out long before even that person themselves knows.

I'm not feeling shame, more a numb suprise. I think my father simply wanted a confimation of the suspcions he must have felt for years.

*Taylor*

LOL I look over my shoulder while I am here because I don't want my mom to see. I live in a condo with her and the computer is in the living area. Best of luck to you

[TaylorMade]

LOL I look over my shoulder while I am here because I don't want my mom to see. I live in a condo with her and the computer is in the living area. Best of luck to you

Heh... we _are_ more alike than I thought!

*Taylor*

[Pensive]

Wow, my dad would never be that straightforward. My mother might, though. Anyways, I hope everything goes well for you. I agree with NorthBiEast - if it was really something he was mad about, he probably wouldn't have broached it so casually.

[DiamondDog]

Congrats!

Know that your dad will always love you for who you are! I mean you are his daughter. Sounds like he took it well.

My mom basically asked me and knew long before I was ready to tell her since I'd mention things about gay people or I made her watch John Waters' movie Female Trouble since I thought that she'd find it funny like I did.

She told me how she found the movie funny in some parts but disgusting and crude over all and I told her how that was the point of it! LOL She was also surprised that JW also did movies like Hairspray! and I told her that he did Hairspray! to shock people who think after viewing Hairspray that he is a wholesome director and makes wholesome family movies and then they'd see his other movies and get shocked/disgusted by then! LMAO

Coincidentally that was the same day that the ex govoner of NJ came out!

There are worse ways to come out though. I'm actually glad that my mom said something to me long before I came out to her since that was her way of telling me that she was fine with whatever I was that clearly wasn't heterosexual but that she's be there to listen to me when the time was right and she was.

I actually came out to my dad when we were having an argument about something completely unrelated and he wasn't mad about me but he just thought that I had major anger issues and got mad at me yelling at him and breaking a plate and a glass. :oh:

Now we're fine and everything's cool and I know that he doesn't think less of me as a person and he's fine with who I am. :paw:

[darkeyes]

Havta let us know wot mum sez wen the time cums Taylor....she cuts up ruff send er 2 me... jus tell er wer me cums from that'll calm er down..or not..tee hee..

Gud luk hun...open all goes well wiv ya!!! x

[arana]

Your dad sounds like a cool guy so he probably hashed out things in his own mind before he even asked you. If there were going to be anything more to it he probably would have confronted you then. I hope all goes as well with your mom now. Good Luck Taylor!

[anne27]

Ok, your coming out may not have been the way you would have liked for it to have been (providing you wanted to come out at all), but that part *is* over at least. Some people spend their whole lives wondering on the best way to tell those close to them.

I hope things go smoothly for you, Taylor!

[TaylorMade]

Ok, your coming out may not have been the way you would have liked for it to have been (providing you wanted to come out at all), but that part *is* over at least. Some people spend their whole lives wondering on the best way to tell those close to them.

I hope things go smoothly for you, Taylor!

I didn't intend to come out formally.

But I didn't work on actively hiding everything. I passively left out details and explained away stuff.

I guess that is why now, I think it probably was inevitable.

I think it's probably gonna stop with my dad. I may tell a cousin, and that's about as good as it's gonna get.

*Taylor*

[izzfan]

As for the whole coming out to my parents thing. I have come out to my mum about being bisexual when I was 17 and she actually guessed that I was a crossdresser when I was about 14/15 [I probably didn't hide the evidence well enough or something] - I remeber running off in quite an emotional state when she asked me about it (believe me, I was seriously paranoid about it and I had quite a bit of self-loathing about it, I still do to a slightly lesser extent). Luckily, my mum was ok about it, I think tolerance is the best way to describe it but she made it clear that she didn't think any less of me because of it.

My sister knows that I'm not 100% straight [ don't know if she knows about the CDing thing, if she does then she hasn't mentioned it]. As for my dad, I've dropped quite a few hints about my sexuality but I think it is perhaps best for both of us for it to remain unsaid. I mean, he's not particularly prejudiced but then again I think it would be a bit of a shock to him to know for certain that I was bisexual and a crossdresser. As I said before, he's not really traditional but I think he would probably tolerate it [if I came out] albeit in a mildly disapproving way.

Izzfan :flag3:

[Enoll]

Hahah, my dad did that once, but it was "you're not gay are you?". To wich the answer was no.
Sometimes I think people ask such straight forward questions beacuse theyve been thinking about it for ages and it's starting to bother them and it's just a case of "fuck it, I'll ask".

[deeTM]

I'm sometimes guilty of the "fuck it, I'll just ask" bit. Hahaha

I was inadvertently outed not to long ago. I was supposed to go out with some friends from work but decided to go to the local gay bar instead. When my friends called I tried to beg off and say I was too tired. They in turn replied, "Well you probably wouldn't want to go where we're going anyway. We're going to Ozz..."

What could I say other than, "I'm already here, see you in a few minutes", lol.

[the mage]

On the way to class. . .my dad , point blank, asked me, "Personal question, are you bisexual?"

I was so flummoxed by the suddenness of the question and it's lack of dancing around... I just answered, "Yeah."

I'm still suprised I even bothered to answer.

We'll see if the peace in my house is maintained now that one of my parents knows.

Feels wierd now.

*Taylor*

.....................Would that be an anti-climax?..;)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I'm not sure how I would've handled that from a parent either...lol At least you were honest and didnt bother with a stammering fib, or an outright lie.
B'sides, it shouldnt be a parent's business What sexuality their kids partake in.
Right on Girlfriend!
Big Hugz to you. :}
Cat

[OcalaCouple683]

Do you feel somewhat releived like you aren't hiding so much?

I know for me- Most of my friends always knew but none of my family or my husbands family. Well i have some of our families on my myspace and one day redid my whole profile and changed my orientation to bi...wouldn't ya know my sister in law noticed it right away! She is a very straight up person so she asked me right away so I explained things..but she kind of shrugged it off like "well your married now so you're not bi anymore" :rolleyes: LOL! So thats sort of how that convo went and we're cool still and don't really bring it up! I just found out last night that a few friends that didn't know I was bi went asking one of y good friends because they saw the orientation on there...made me feel releived that they knew now!

I dont know why but it just feels more liberating to know theres more people in my life that know and I could be open with if the time came and not feel like I needed to 'come out'.

Also- as far as my parents go..well my mom is the only one involved in my life and i KNOW she's bi so I know there won't be any judging there!! :tong:

BTW- this is usually the wife at the keyboard- I'm the talkative one!:bigrin::female:

My husband isn't "out" except to a couple of friends and co-workers that asked him about the bisexual sticker i put on our car rear window...instead of pointing it on me he actually was honest and said he is too...I could see that sparkle in his eye that he was kind of happy to have been able to tell SOMEONE about the real him!! :bigrin::bipride::male:

[tony455]

i was visiting my mother in ohio a few years ago .we went to dinner and over a galss of wine she just asked me .."Tony are you gay?" to which i answered "no mom im not gay...........im bisexual,so yes i do like girls also".She laughed and just told me to be careful.

[chulainn2]

I believe that your sexuality is just that, yours. I don not think it is right for a parent to ask an entrapping question... or a friend or sibling, etc.

[DiamondDog]

I believe that your sexuality is just that, yours. I don not think it is right for a parent to ask an entrapping question... or a friend or sibling, etc.

That's the thing though, most hets don't see outing others who aren't hetero to be a big deal, they don't see the point of coming out or think that it's "telling others about your sex life" when it's not, or the idea that asking someone if they're gay/bi/whatever is a bad thing.

In all honesty such questions asked by family and friends should not be seen as entrapment, forbidden/taboo, or a bad thing.

I figure if people want to stay closeted and wallow in their own self misery that's their choice to continue to do this since it's their life.

I have no problem being out and I am out to my family, friends, and doctor.

[Skater Boy]

In all honesty such questions asked by family and friends should not be seen as entrapment, forbidden/taboo, or a bad thing.

I figure if people want to stay closeted and wallow in their own self misery that's their choice to continue to do this since it's their life.

I have no problem being out and I am out to my family, friends, and doctor.

Yeah, our sexualities are an important part of who we are, even if we sometimes deny this. By all means keep that part of you to yourself, or hide it, if you must. But the sooner you show yourself for who you really are, the sooner you can get on and live your life. It can be a liberating feeling not to have to repress these parts of ourselves, and allow them to run free, without concern over what others might think.

I just know that there are people that I'm "out" to and people that I'm "in" to, and that I tend to avoid socializing as much with the people that I'm "in" to because I feel that they just don't know who I really am, or because I'm worried about saying (or doing) something that will reveal my "dirty secret" (for that is what it seems like when I hide that part of me).

I don't think that one need necessarily reveal intimate details about one's sex life to one's family. But nor do I think that giving a general indication of one's sexual preference (to those who probably OUGHT to know) is too much to ask, in the grand scheme of things. And, in many cases, it can be an improvement on the "ambiguity" that may have preceded it.

That said, I'm well aware that for some people discussing ANYTHING of a sexual nature with their parents can be a difficult thing to do. I myself tend to avoid it where possible. And in fact, I find it far easier to "confess" about my bisexuality to complete strangers, than I do with my immediate family. Which is weird, but there ya go...

[diB4u]

LOL...... Sakter boy i agree... Kinda; if a person can not be out to themeselves or important people then thats not good for the soul.

[jeancarleo]

I came out to my mom when I was 23 but she took it like a joke. The thing is that we were talking why me and my wife got separated and so she asked me if I was ever going to marry again and I said I don't know and then my oldest sister who knew about me was only 13 and she told my mom to stop asking me about that cuz I also liked guys and my mom kinda freaked out but still didn't believe.
Last year she was going through my picture album and at the end I had pictures from my ex-boyfriend who was posing with a bikini and my mom askes who that was and I said my boyfriend and all she said was shut up. So I guess it's hard for my mom because this is something she never expected to happen.
All of my borthers and sisters (9) know about me and they all accept me except for my biological brothers (2). It's my life so I don't care what they think of me. My dad on the other hand knows but he just acts like he don't know as well as my stepmom. My stepdad knows and accepts me.
I'm not out to everyone but if someone asks me in public I'll say yes.