Why are all the women I like MARRIED bisexuals? lol

[deletetacount123]

Okies, I noticed a BIG pattern going on.....
Every women I like, flirted with online is a married bisexual women.

I clearly have no interest in the couples thing (I just don't feel right about it. Even if the male has nothing to do with ... like knows but isn't gonna join in unless both girls agree.., I don't want to be a reason should any problems start to happen and so on. )

ANYWAY lol I still attract married bisexual women anyway. Ahhhhhhhhhh

I something trying to tell me something?? :)
Am I just being stubborn about the whole "no couples / attached but hes not included" thing???

*sits down and thinks* It is very fusterating...... lol

OH ya....... the other night I had a dream I was part of Polyish (Im not sure if thats the right word to use?) relationship kinda. In it a women was bisexual... she wanted a husband and a wife. BUT the husband and other wife have nothing to do with each other except being good friends.

Normally a couple years ago I would go "ugh never happening" lol
But I don't know... something about the dream was natural and I liked and enjoyed it.

So my friends...... what the heck is going on with me?!?! lol Am I wanting one thing but life has another thing in store for me??

I like some of the single women on here too but they aren't interested in me.... and Im sure youve seen me flirting with pently of married bisexual women lol
Oh well. I don't mind, Im trying to be open to things.... but sometimes it starts to get confusing as in WHY.

Tasha

[Herbwoman39]

Maybe if you talk about what you're afraid of, that might help. Sure, I can understand how being the third partner would be scary. After all, something happens with the couple and the third is the first to go.

I hope others will correct me if I'm wrong but *I* would think that a poly relationship would be far more challenging than a couple. There's one more person to communicate with, meet the needs of and work out issues with.

BUT in a tri relationship there'sone more person to lean on, be close to and talk to in times of trouble.

It's something to weigh the pros and cons of. Maybe do a little research into polyamory and see what you come up with.

[anne27]

I am in one of those 'triads' (I hope that's the right word, but I am not into the lingo about it). I have a hubby of many years and a woman I love dearly. There is no contact between them, and there wasn't in the last serious relationship I had with a woman. It works very well for all involved so far *keeping fingers crossed*.

No relationship is easy, honey, and I do think the most people you add, the more complicated things could get. But I wouldn't necessarily cross all married women offa your list of 'things to do' ;).

You'll find what you're looking for, Tash, or it will find you.

*HUGS*

[deletetacount123]

I know Im not into couples cause I'll get jealous :)
Like, if I see the couple kiss each other more than they kiss me, then I feel jealous. Same with touching and everything else lol

I don't want to be a third-person either, just doesn't seem right to me.
And like you said, if something happens between the couple, the third person may get involved when she/he didn't want to be involved.
SOMETIMES if something between the couple causes them to split, it has nothing to do with the 3rd person.... the 3rd person would be targeted as the "bad person" as the reason for the break up in other peoples eyes even tho its not and especially if one of the couples stayed with the 3rd person.

Maybe I am attracted to married women cause they seem much more mature than some of the single girls.... even tho there are single mature girls, I just haven't found them and those I am interested in aren't interested in me.

Ah, maybe my minds just sorting out issues I guess..... as far as Im concerned I really don't want to be involved in a poly relationship... I perfer 1 person a time. Someone I can give all my love to and so on.

[biwords]

Tasha, I don't think there are many of us who could handle the emotional complications of a true triad in the long term. As one of my heroes (Thomas Fleming of Chronicles magazine) once wrote, "most of us are just barely up to the demands of ordinary life..."

[Lisa (va)]

Have to agree with biwords.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

btw, love the quote words

[Herbwoman39]

I can completely understand not wanting to be a part of a triad wherein you're involved with both the woman AND the man. But what about just being involved with the woman? If you're looking for something permanent, then that might not be the way to go. Though a long term relationship *is* possible.

There would be more pressure on the woman than on anyone else because she'd have to maintain both relationships at the same time.

Of course from my perspective this is all theoretical, so I defer to those more experienced than myself. :)

[deletetacount123]

thats what Im talking about.... I would love to be in a relationship with just the woman... I don't have to know her husband OR meet him but we're just friends and nothing more.

I think maybe it scares me that I'll start to want her all to myself and not want her to be with her husband lol (yes, sometimes I don't wanna share lol)
So thats why Im trying not to get into something like that unless the woman is good at giving both her husband and me equal love the best she can. :)

Tasha

[Herbwoman39]

Who knows, maybe you *would* get her all to yourself for a while. One of the big issue with dating a married woman is getting both her and your schedule to match up. There's a lady here in town and we can't ever seem to get our schedules to mesh.

That is, of course, if you manage to get all the ground rules down and adhered to. We discovered an excellent book for creating dating ground rules is "The Bisexual's Guide To The Universe". That's where we got all our guidelines from so that we could come to an agreement on my dating women.

[flexuality]

Could it be that you have some emotions to deal with around relationships...and you view married women as emotionally "safe?"

Sort of like if you felt hurt or rejected by a married woman, you could always blame it on the fact that she's married, so she wouldn't really being rejecting you in your mind.....kind of 'rationalizing.'

Whereas in a one on one relationship, if you felt rejected, then it would just plain hurt.

Just a thought..... :rolleyes:

[innaminka]

You've had some very, very good advice.

Tasha, just my :2cents: .
Be very wary of "triads" from my experience a lot of them are more aimed at the guy getting his rocks off by having two women, rather than the whole thing being a true bi-sex episode.

Tread warily.

BTW - I'm married, I'm actively bi, and I have never been involved in a triad. You don't have to go there if you don't want.

[DiamondDog]

Don't get with married/partnered women, where you'd feel left out since you'd feel like the 3rd weel to a woman's husband or wife and never really feel like a part of their relationship since you'd be the girl on the side or the "other woman", if what you really want is a closed/exclusive relationship with just one woman.

Why not try bi/lesbian dating sites for women? Or just getting out and meeting other bi/lesbian women?

[deletetacount123]

I don't really want to get with a married women.... I know how I'll feel... even if the 2 are just dating. I only want ONE :)

My issue is every girl I LIKE is married or dating.... even if I liked her before I found out she was married (or dating) lol Then its "darn can't have her"

AND that every SINGLE girl I like isn't interest in me even tho we have pently in common.

Nevermind the dream I had... it most likely came from watching "Summer Lovers" with Daryl Hannah the night before I had the dream. (Good Poly movie by the way. I like Daryl) and my mind changed some things.

So what I want to know is..... why is all the women I like and want to be with are all ready with someone while the single women I like which I have things in common with aren't interested in me at all?? Or fake it for awhile then never talk to me again? :(

It just gets fusterating after awhile.
Thats why I said I was thinking maybe cause the married ones seem more mature than the single ones even tho there are single mature people, I just haven't found them.

[deletetacount123]

Diamond Dog.... all my ads are on mostly dating sites for lesbians/bisexual women!!!! The only ones that shares with men are Date.Ca, LoveHappens.com and OKCupid.com

The other 5 are lesbians/bisexual women sites but I find nothing happens on them.... profiles I like best have been inactive for so long whats the point? You can message as many as you want and hear back from none, which makes you think you wasted your money on nothing since you DO have to pay to email.

Do you know how many times Ive searched around here for lesbian/bisexual women?? a lot... theres NO CLUB or hang out.... theres a gay/lesbian/bisexual club that has a movie/dance once a month but they are all much older people. No young people at all are in that club... by older Im talking close to 50+

Ahhhh and course its location :) lol Ive posted on Craiglist and sometimes get "its a shame you're in penticton.... " and never hear from them again. Even tho most of my ads have "willing to relocate" on them to show Im WILLING to move :)

It just sucks.

And Im trying my hardest to save money to move out of this place. My parents are gonna be no help so its really just up to me :)
Right now Im bring sweet talked into moving to Kamloops by a friend of mine but I don't know anything about Kamloops so Im not sure.

Although moving elsewhere in BC is currently cheaper than a BIG move to Ontario.

Tasha

[Herbwoman39]

Right now Im bring sweet talked into moving to Kamloops by a friend of mine but I don't know anything about Kamloops so Im not sure.

Although moving elsewhere in BC is currently cheaper than a BIG move to Ontario.

Tasha

My mother in law taught me a very valuable lesson before she passed. "Never settle". It's better to wait and get what you really want than to jump the gun and end up settling for something that, in the long run, will make you unhappy or dissatisfied.

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

A little birdie recently told me that I'm not capable emotionally to date or have a long lasting realationship with married bi women. Because I am single it leaves to much room for hurt, on both parts. My advice is if your looking for a woman , look for a lesbian. It's just to easy to fall in love, and falling in love with a woman who is married will leave you very lonesome, especially at bed time when you wish she was laying next to you and not her hubby.

[deletetacount123]

My mother in law taught me a very valuable lesson before she passed. "Never settle". It's better to wait and get what you really want than to jump the gun and end up settling for something that, in the long run, will make you unhappy or dissatisfied.

Herbie,

Ya, Kamloops sounds nice but I wouldn't just move there cause someone told me to. Ive decided I'll wait, try looking long distance, if I fall in love with someone and I love where she lives, I would move over there OR if she hates where she is, we could move somewhere together and start a whole new adventure :)

[deletetacount123]

A little birdie recently told me that I'm not capable emotionally to date or have a long lasting realationship with married bi women. Because I am single it leaves to much room for hurt, on both parts. My advice is if your looking for a woman , look for a lesbian. It's just to easy to fall in love, and falling in love with a woman who is married will leave you very lonesome, especially at bed time when you wish she was laying next to you and not her hubby.

Hi :)
I agree :)
Are there any other lesbians on this board thats single? lol :)

I would perfer to date a lesbian tho... Im open to bisexual women but deep down I don't know if thats what I want.... I like girls who like girls :) Although having had a husband or bf in the past is ok if they are no longer interested in men. (kinda like me... only dated and married a guy cause we thought we HAD to.....or hadn't realized we were a lesbian till later)

Tasha

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

I was trying to convert to lesbianism lol but it didnt work. Maybe had I found a girlfriend, but ive finally met a really great guy. I never found a lesbian here , not a single one.