Should I Tell Her????

[siestakey]

Ok everyone...I work with this girl that I find really attractive and she seems to be flirting back with me sometimes but I am not really sure of her sexual orientation. Sometimes she acts like she could be gay and other times she seems like she might be straight, or at least bisexual. My last day working at that particular job with her is this Friday and I want to find out why she has been staring at me and sending me all these mixed signals, but I don't want to make her feel ackward about it, however, I don't want to leave her without knowing the truth about what might or might not have been between us. Should I ask her if we can talk in private and just be blunt and ask her about it or do you all think I should maybe write her a letter explaining what I am (bisexual) and how I have been feeling for her and explain to her that I was just curious as to why she has been "flirtatious" with me lately and constantly staring and sometimes smiling at me and that I didn't want to leave without knowing the truth between us. And at the end of the letter, give her my cell phone number or e-mail address and where she can find me and stuff and that way, if she wants to get in touch with me after I leave, she always can find me later on. I am so confused. I just don't want to confront her about it in person and then her be completely straight or something. I know I am kind of being chicken about it by giving her a note, but I personally feel it would be a lot less ackward for both of us if I did it that way, plus its more private and personal by doing it that way. What do you guys think I should do? I need replies ASAP please!!! Thanks!

[sexyboo]

Hey babygirl,
You already know how i feel, i hope people on here can help you figure out what to say in the letter, or if you should do it in person,
i know i know, you would stumble a lot less in the letter lol.
Ok hun,
since i'm talking to you on AIM, it's pointless to keep typing on here, i just wanted you to know i'm 100% behind you no matter what.
I love you
and i hope you and the girl work

[ohbimale]

Yes you should speak with her. Think about it...You will regret it if you do not take the chance. I would be willing to bet you are getting mixed signals about her sexuality because she is bi.

If the roles were reversed would you want a face to face conversation with the person you were flirting with or a letter. A letter is not personal. Face to face you can judge her reactions and repsonses. With a letter you can not. Face to face is the way to go in my opinion.

I wish you the best and hope you get the girl. :male: :bipride:

[Eddie altamonte]

Thats always the hardest thing to decide on whether you put yourself out on a limb. Rejection is a possibility always regardless if you are straight, gay or bi. I myself do not have a gaydar or a bidar. I guess you have to feel the person out and if you are attracted to that person be honest and sincere, those do not risk do not gain. Ask her to happy hour or out to lunch. That is safe and innocent enough and can get really intimate fast. If she is attracted to you it will become apparent as long as you converse freely and openly. Always remember there are boundries and be respectful of them, but don't worry the cues will be there also to be able to determine the persons comfort level. I wish you the best, good luck

[dans94]

Definately talk to her. If you write her a letter and have misjudged her, the letter could become public knowledge...hard fact, so to speak. You don't have to even tell her how you feel right now. Have some drinks, give her your phone number and say you want to become better friends. Whatever you do, let her know you want to see more of her. Good luck, Dan

[biwords]

I'm with dans94, better to mention it face-to-face (even if you do stumble a bit -- so what?). For one thing, you'll see her unfiltered reaction. You probably won't face the agony of suspense. And hey, if she responds positively, it'll be an unforgettable moment -- would you want to miss that? While if it's a rejection, well, that's what it'll be in any case. (And as every guy knows, rejection is very survivable). Best of luck!

[pashaevans5]

I'm having almost the same exact problem except this person is my best friend. I'm bi, and I have fallen for her completely. Although I know she is completely straight, I know that sometimes she is flirting with me. I think it would make me feel better to tell her but only momentarily because I know our friendship would be ruined. So I guess I'm doomed to just be miserable and watch this amazing girl get treated like crap by all these asshole guys. Ahh it feels good to vent.

[NorthBiEast]

Never, never get involved with a co-worker, male or female. Sounds like maybe you're getting a new job, in which case, go for it and congrats! If you're going to be working with her, you could be opening yourself up for sexual harassment issues, not to mention an uncomfortable work environment if things don't work out later on. :2cents:

[richarddennis]

Why not just ask her out for a quick coffee and then take it from there!

No need to put ANYTHING in writing! EVER

Face to face conversation is the best way to make your feelings known, find out where she may be heading etc...

It could be the start of a beautiful relationship, but those too shy or inept to TALK to another person[NOT AT WORK!!!]off the job should at least let you know more about her!

[softfruit]

Also, consider if she's not interested and the note leads to you getting in trouble for sexual harassment at work... I'd keep it for the coffee shop not the office photocopier.