Body Language

[flexuality]

Body language...interesting stuff!

Is "Gaydar" or "Bidar" real? I don't know...but if it is, I think it's probably in the body language.

We send more with our body language than we do with our words...or our words and tone combined!

Approximately 55% of the messages we send to others is body language...and it tends to 'override' our words. One of the best examples of this was when someone showed the different messages sent by doing the following:

1. Simply and in a normal tone said "I love you." (message....just a comment, may or may not be sincere....no real reason to doubt it...)

2. In a loud voice yelled "I LOVE YOU!!!!" (whoa....start to feel a bit unsure...are they speaking intensely cuz the DO love you?)

3. Yells "I LOVE YOU!!!!" while running at you. (ACK! feels threatening!!)

Same words....three different messages! The interesting thing is when this is done in person, the third example with the added body language gets the fastest reaction....the threat is felt first, regardless of the words or the tone.

Body language is actually processed differently than words are. Body language goes through the amygdala where the flight or fight repsonse resides so that we can respond immediately in an emergency situation if need be. Being processed that way also makes it more "subtle"....so when someone says something and you find yourself thinking "hmmm...not sure if I believe this person" (or any kind of mixed message feeling) it's probably the body language that we're not always aware of that is causing this mixed message.

There's a lot more to it than that....it's a fascinating thing, but hard as hell to change reactions to if one has been programmed to react to certain body languages. PTSD is a prime example of body language reactions.

There are a lot of simple body languages one can pick up on too....though I agree with others who have stated that there's kind of a "knack" to it....and not all body language means the same thing in everyone, though there are a lot of common ones that are quite universal.

NonVerbal Body Language (http://www.coping.org/dialogue/nonverbal.htm)

One of the things that I have to keep in mind is that body language doesn't always mean what it's "supposed to" mean. Sometimes it's a matter of comfort...like crossed arms doesn't always mean a person is kind of closed off....it might mean they're just cold. :tong:

[darkeyes]

Have written from time to time bout how I use body language to work out people....am at work so havent got time 2 really go in depth. But will come back 2 it and maybe it will be useful to some of you. But flex is right about 1 thing..its not foolproof and some people do not use body language quite the same as the rest of us... especially if they are form a different country or culture..so while its handy, dont always take it as read what you think they are telling you is right...sometimes you dont half get a right shock!!

[12voltman59]

Well--speaking of those of us in the "western" cultures of Europe, Canada, Australia and the US--we do each have some cultural variances--but overall we are similar.

I just wonder what kind of body language one would use if one is bisexual--any ideas on that???

[darkeyes]

Havent time to go into it now Voltie..but will..but there is no specifically bisexual language I have seen, There are however certain moments and actions which can expose some1s sexuality to us.. or at least that they are sexually interested or not.. a look, a touch or a smile, how they sit or stand. It is the exposing of our inner selves for better or worse by our movements... movements of which we are blissfully unaware...

[miamiuu]

The most obvious thing I'll do like say im out at a club is kind of lean towards the person to show I'm cool with them, and sometimes the hand shake move which can go either way. The eye thing really doesnt work for me cus I have bad vision and sometimes I make eye contact and dont even know it. Also I have problems picking up things cus of my eyes. Eye contact can be misleading though cus Ive always been told its polite to have eye contact with people you are talking to.

[the mage]

Hmmmm. body language to express interest....
well..
pants around the ankles is a good sign of intent!

[darkeyes]

Hmmmm. body language to express interest....
well..
pants around the ankles is a good sign of intent!
That hun is once yas read the signs rite...an ya luks in.. body language is about subtlety....an seduction wen it cums 2 sex... droppin ya trousers mostly the way 2 talkin bout will either get ya arrested or ya bits cut off!!! Ifya lukky maybe both..tee hee:tong:

Dontcha jus luff a smart arse!!! :bigrin:

[b1s3xu4l]

What is the handshake move?

Quote: miamiuu: The most obvious thing I'll do like say im out at a club is kind of lean towards the person to show I'm cool with them, and sometimes the hand shake move which can go either way.

[miamiuu]

Just hand shaking more than usual, but not too much.

[NorthBiEast]

Its not just the body language, but also the tone of voice you use that's important.

My mum tell a story from when I was younger and she wanted to tell me I had done something really well. She was joking and was using a tone of voice like she was mad, but the words she was using were "thank you for doing your chores" or something like that. I got so defensive and upset that my 8 year old brother had to tell me she was joking. Even after that, when she said (still angry sounding) "you're not listening, I'm really happy with you right now!" I still didn't get it. Crazy mums :rolleyes:

[mindfinding]

Great thread Flex

Thought I was the only one that studied these kinds of things.

I didn't see it there, but you can also study eye movement. You learn alot about the thruthiness (thank you Steven Colbert) of a person by watching their eyes.