Why is everyone so obessed with sex these days???

[TashaSW]

Why is it always sex sex sex?!?!?!??!

What happened to serious relationships and love?

Where ARE they?!?!?!?!

*sighs*

Except OKCupid and LoveHappens.com Ive deleted all my profiles from all other dating sites... nothing but fake horny people just wanting sex. At least OKCupid actually has REAL people.

[Lisa (va)]

Can't we have have both love and sex ?

Both are good, but when you have both it's grand !

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[TashaSW]

Can't we have have both love and sex ?

Both are good, but when you have both it's grand !

Lisa

hugs n kisses

Ya. Im talking about "sex only" kind of people tho

[FalconAngel]

Not that we are looking for playmates just for sex, but sex for it's own sake can be very enjoyable when the participants are in synch with each other and everyone involved is properly satisfied by the act.

But then we are looking for "friends with benefits" situation from the guys we seek. So it isn't sex for sex's sake that we seek.

[A is for flower]

blame the media...honestly its what fuels this sexed crazed epidemic. Monogamy is slowly dissapearing... i mean not that its bad... but its just because things are becoming more open. so sex is become more of an open subject, its a social thing more so than an intimate thing. just how the world is becoming. all things have their good and their bad. you just have to focus on the good and make the most of the bad. :tongue:

[12voltman59]

Well--call me a contrarian here but for most of human existence-it's been about the sex--mostly for procreation, survival and continuation of the species and all of that---

Romantic love is really a rather recent thing in terms of the whole span of human existence---

But as far as sex today is concerned--its just basically another commodity or means of selling us more shit we don't freakin' need---

[jem_is_bi]

I like the idea of love, affection and a relationship. But, making it a reality would destroy, my career and family relationships. I am totally unwilling to pay that price. Also, my present partner is in the same situation. So, we settle for hugs, caressing, (kisses by me on him), and fantastic sex.

I like fantastic sex.
He likes fantastic sex.
This may not be perfection.
But, at my age I cannot be too picky about the nature of the human connection.

Like the words of a song: You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you might just get what you need. (or something like that).

JEM

[spartca]

In my experience, to some degree those folks who are not finding what they want in the course of their normal lives turn to support groups, internet, etc. to find dates.

For some folks - bisexual men such as myself for example, it can be difficult to find partners who are accepting of their bisexuality. It totally makes sense that bisexuals would seek out like-minded folks on the internet.

But then there are those creepy types who scare people away in real life. They turn to the internet too.

So for internet dating, you've got to have a pretty thick skin to weed through all the noise to find those like-minded folks. OKCupid is really kewl for this because it does a lot of the footwork for you. The trouble is a lot of creepy types have several alternate personalities that they use to attract specific types of people - hot bi babes being a classic target market for this kind of deception.

So be careful out there people, and may all your dating dreams come true! :)

[the mage]

The trend towards open sexuality is being aimed squarely at a very young audience by very greedy advertisers. It is direct opposition to the message sent by the US prez.
An interesting battle who's political winner will shape your future.
The power of the corporate boardroom and its lust for lust for profit is world wide. It is part of what makes "us V/s them" over there....
It opposes most religious views.
Who will win is anyones guess.

[my-00-stang]

well let me put my 2 cents in........love is okay sex is better because after a while love turns into boredom, same ole stuff different day kinda thing.
sex with someone other than your spouse is exciting and makes you feel young and free again. love is overrated and boring to me anyway well there is my 2 cents and it may not even be worth that lol

[Cerealk]

Like I read somewhere a few days back, theres not much thrill left in living today. With our technology and society, we rarely struggle to survive. This gives us a lot of free time to think, which brings lots of questions about our reason to live and all that. Drugs, sports, sex, multimedia and a lot more of them bring us our daily needs of "extreme".

And dont forget that human beings being social animals, we compare ourselves, interact, hate/love and work non-stop with others. Sex is another mean to stand out and take your place in all this.

Of course, its good too!

[darkeyes]

Why is it always sex sex sex?!?!?!??!

What happened to serious relationships and love?

Where ARE they?!?!?!?!

*sighs*

Except OKCupid and LoveHappens.com Ive deleted all my profiles from all other dating sites... nothing but fake horny people just wanting sex. At least OKCupid actually has REAL people.
Partly Tasha because it is lovely, partly because it is natural and partly because it is even now in the west at least considered a little dangerous and naughty. Western societies, in particular the english speaking western nations, have still this puritanical streak which makes us a little edgy and for many people very disapproving of it. And like the human beings we are, just like children in some ways, that which is forbidden is a challenge.

I see nothing wrong with people participating and enjoying sex, whether love is involved or not. On the contrary we are sexual animals and the joy of sex at its best whether love is involved or not can be and often is a wonderful experience.

In my opinion, I dont think we are any more sex minded than any previous generations, but I do think in the main we are less hypocritical about it, and certainly more liberated, save for the likes of the religious right in the US, and in Europe to a lesser degree, and the mainstream churches to a slightly lesser degree. What is certain, and here I have a dilemma personally is the rise of sexual commercialism in film, dress, the media and our culture as a whole. In principle I have no problem with it, and yet I do loathe and detest the hypocrisy of many of the media barons, of major companies who peddle sex in whichever way who keep on in one way or another telling us that it is bad for us. I dont mind the products, I wear them and use them and read them every day of my life, but I detest the crass commercialism of it, often at the expense of dignity and the self respect of many. On the one hand the same people are teling us what we should wear and how we should look, and on the other they call us tarts and immoral and worse for doing it.

I often joke about being a tart. Sometimes though less so, as being a bit of a slut. But I dont really think of myself as either. I live a lifestyle which suits me and love it, and as far as I am able will avoid harm to others, and certainly would never insist that anyone must act, think, live or be like me. Not so the great powers of our world, who tell us one thing and do the other usually at the expense of out pocket, often at the expense of our mental stability, frequently at the expense of our dignity. I know who the real tarts of this world are, and me, and people like me are not them!

Turning now, sweetheart, to love and serious relationships. While I have a history of being what many would call promiscuous, as do many who are members of this site, and like most people on the planet, I want love..to be loved.. to be in love. To have someone I can go through life with, be happy, laugh and cry with. To share. As it happens I have had love, wonderful passionate love and it is a scource of joy to me that I was lucky enough to find it. I have been married loved, co-habited and loved, but sadly life was not that lucky that the long term was an option. Each ended and each in their own way caused me and others great pain. But Fran is a hopeless romantic...

I am in love now Tash, and what the future holds God knows, but life being what it is I have no doubt that it will throw up a few twists as we go along. But I strive and hope for us to have that life time perfect relationship. We have many ostacles in our way, and many issues to tackle. What the future holds no one can say. My life, and my sex life have been but my way of leading up to this moment. I have my dream Tasha, and for now it is very much alive, my only hope is that kismet smiles upon us as we strive to make our way in the world.

Deep down Tash, I believe most, not all, but most of us have a similar dream. We all approach it in different ways, and use the ways we feel are right for us. I have used sex, am not ashamed of it, nor proud, just have, and have had a whale of a time in doing so.. I have used it throughout my adult life, and a little before, to ready me for whatever the future has for me.. its my way of searching out my dream.

However you decide to achieve your dream Natasha.... I do hope you find it. It is not always sex as you worry so. It is about life and how we live. Love and serious relationships are alive and well, though sadly many will suffer and die in time... if you look around you will see the truth of it... don't despair... we have troubles, but we are ok...

[Tingly_Tickles]

Guess I can add my :2cents: here I don't know about the whole obsessed with
sex thing but I do know if you have love it makes you want the sex more at
least in my case it's too damn good to pass up.

On the other hand there are tons of people out there who yes just seem to be
looking to get into someones pants no matter who it is they just don't care
anymore.

Sounds kinda like a mainstream problem for the ones that are looking for a more
serious relationship.
:bibounce: :bibounce: :bibounce:

[12voltman59]

There have been some great points made on this subject--I especially like that someone noted the push-pull we have with those who sell us sex to those who moralize about how bad it is.

Rupert Murdoch with his many networks all over most of the world is a case in point.

Here in the US he first created the FOX television network and to get things going with a bang--much of its early programming was rather as they say "racy" and such. It was his network that put out that one "reality" TV show--"Temptation Island" in which the point of the thing was to entice partners in marriages or committed long-term relationships to cheat on each other-there were a number of other FOX entertainment network shows that were pretty sleazy too.

But then along came his FOX-News network with a decidely conservative spin--and with folks on there like Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reily who set themselves up as paragons of moral and poltical virtue--rail against the coarsening of society and of "liberal Hollywood values" and all of their other BS--

Murdoch had it both ways---he put out sleazy entertainment television that got high ratings and he created a "news" organization that made him bajillons of dollars too that in many cases complained about how "liberal" things have gotten in the broader society---when his entertaiment network was very much a part of appealing to the lowest common denominator sensiblities----

[mouse46]

:bibounce: Hi Tasha,Its not just sex I'm after. I too am looking for love and a longterm relationship. Alas those two, combined seem to be few and far between, Most people seem to accept what they can have,sex, sex, sex. Maybe hoping for that part of their lives will indeed give them what they are missing. Some don't know what they want, some afraid of commitments.I am one who will not settle for just the sex. I want the whole enchalada so to speak. The getting to know someone and finding out what were like together. Sharing a life with someone I'm in-love with.The sex is just a wonderful way to show how you feel, to me anyway.I tried what people wanted from me here, cybering them.But it really wasn't me. I thought I'd found someone to share my life as well ,only left feeling unsure about anything including myself. So , my thought for you is just be patient, there has to be someone whom feels as we do about realationships. Don't give up hope. :2cents:

[Solomon]

just a different perspective

i think that more and more it's becoming about sex because people want relationships, but it's getting more an more difficult to be able to financially afford the serious, committed relationships.... at least for those that stay stuck in the trading time for money thinking

i believe the divorce statistics support this, seeing as how the number one cause in general seems to be the lack of money

then there's the fact that very few anymore can afford to only have one partner of a couple working

[12voltman59]

just a different perspective

i think that more and more it's becoming about sex because people want relationships, but it's getting more an more difficult to be able to financially afford the serious, committed relationships.... at least for those that stay stuck in the trading time for money thinking

i believe the divorce statistics support this, seeing as how the number one cause in general seems to be the lack of money

Well--today--we have this growing gap between those who get these great jobs that pay beaucoup bucks, offer all kinds of great perks and benies-big time bonuses and stock options and all of that---then--there is everyone else who is busting ass at a dead end job that they work a shitload of hours at, but that job barely allows them to pay the rent or mortgage, keep the lights on, maybe have cable TV or satelite, keep food in the fridge and somewhat presentable clothes on our backs and those of our families if we have them, have a decent running car that we hope we can run a few more years--and we still have to get another part time job just to make ends meet---

So where does love fit into that equation---for some who don't have a partner---you take some comfort by having contact with another person and if that is only sex and not love--then so be it---

This may not be an optimal situation--but such is the lives of so many of us---

It's like that song from Bruce Springsteen--"Just a little of that human touch...."

Love is great and love is grand--but I will take sex too if that is all I can get I must admit---I don't need love to have sex with someone--but I do want and need some friendship--

[darkeyes]

There have been some great points made on this subject--I especially like that someone noted the push-pull we have with those who sell us sex to those who moralize about how bad it is.

Rupert Murdoch with his many networks all over most of the world is a case in point.

Here in the US he first created the FOX television network and to get things going with a bang--much of its early programming was rather as they say "racy" and such. It was his network that put out that one "reality" TV show--"Temptation Island" in which the point of the thing was to entice partners in marriages or committed long-term relationships to cheat on each other-there were a number of other FOX entertainment network shows that were pretty sleazy too.

But then along came his FOX-News network with a decidely conservative spin--and with folks on there like Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reily who set themselves up as paragons of moral and poltical virtue--rail against the coarsening of society and of "liberal Hollywood values" and all of their other BS--

Murdoch had it both ways---he put out sleazy entertainment television that got high ratings and he created a "news" organization that made him bajillons of dollars too that in many cases complained about how "liberal" things have gotten in the broader society---when his entertaiment network was very much a part of appealing to the lowest common denominator sensiblities----
And he is but the most glaring example Voltie.... because of him, and others like him..is it a wonder that we live in such schizophrenic societies???

[Solomon]

you're right on the money with the divide getting wider between the classes of incomes... on the other hand there are more financially independant people now than ever before in history..... at least that's what i hear the leading economists saying

btw, i didn't mean any finger pointing or being snobbish or anything like that with saying about the people that stay stuck with trading time for money.... i'm still stuck in the trap too currently, and i've been working for years to get outta this trap.....

i was always taught to work for a living 'cuz it's self respecting, and i have a very serious fear of becoming fat and lazy and snobbish as being the effects of not having to work for money.... it's wierd though, because i've never known anyone who was wealthy before to make that equation.....

[12voltman59]

"Love is great and love is grand--but I will take sex too if that is all I can get I must admit---I don't need love to have sex with someone--but I do want and need some friendship--"

I was getting ready to head out and thought about this quote--when I think about it--what I was talking about here was love of one kind really--if I can make an assupmtion here--perhaps Tasha is talking about our notion of "romantic love" like the kind they talk about in movies, television shows and much of the music--the kind of love that you have "one true love" and all of that and that "I can't live without you" kind of love.

In reality--like most things---as long as you retain an equilibrium with romantic love--it is fine--but it can get very quickly off track and becomes a negative thing---

What I am talking about is finding people who you really like and care for them and they are the same towards you--and I think its fine if that person of the same gender or opposite--if your relationship becomes physically intimate---that is even better than simply being "friends"

[darkeyes]

"Love is great and love is grand--but I will take sex too if that is all I can get I must admit---I don't need love to have sex with someone--but I do want and need some friendship--"

I was getting ready to head out and thought about this quote--when I think about it--what I was talking about here was love of one kind really--if I can make an assupmtion here--perhaps Tasha is talking about our notion of "romantic love" like the kind they talk about in movies, television shows and much of the music--the kind of love that you have "one true love" and all of that and that "I can't live without you" kind of love.

In reality--like most things---as long as you retain an equilibrium with romantic love--it is fine--but it can get very quickly off track and becomes a negative thing---

What I am talking about is finding people who you really like and care for them and they are the same towards you--and I think its fine if that person of the same gender or opposite--if your relationship becomes physically intimate---that is even better than simply being "friends"
Not sure u an me are sayin that much different Voltie. I have spent years enjoying my sex life, and have always looked for that spark which differentiates from the terrific lay to the big passion...as I said earlier Ive found it on occasion too.. aiming for the ultimate in passionate love is no bad thing, and its a thing we should all hope for. But you are right..even the passionate, the deepest love often goes off the rails and can become destructive if allowed to fester. Deep love gone wrong can quickly turn to the most vicious loathing and I have seen it all too often, though have tried, not always successfuly never to feel real animosity at the end of a passionate relationship.

Most of us I think you are right settle for something less and that isnt as sad as it may sound, for they find a contentment and peace which the more passionate relationships probably never do.

It is a fact even for me, for when in a relationship with some with whom I have a great fondness, even love, but where the deepest of passion does not exist, I am more at ease and contented than when with someone for whom I lose so much sleep and get so many twisted knots in the tummy, who has my mind in permanent turmoil because of the sheer power of my feelings for them.

And yet..it is that passion, that deep love which I dream of.. and which is my greatest wish..somehow to control my innermost turmoils and love the person who is that dream with the care, love passion and commitment which she deserves. Give me turmoil over contentment... masochistic??? maybe.. but not I hope too much so...

[mouse46]

:bibounce: Hi Tasha,Its not just sex I'm after. I too am looking for love and a longterm relationship. Alas those two, combined seem to be few and far between, Most people seem to accept what they can have,sex, sex, sex. Maybe hoping for that part of their lives will indeed give them what they are missing. Some don't know what they want, some afraid of commitments.I am one who will not settle for just the sex. I want the whole enchalada so to speak. The getting to know someone and finding out what were like together. Sharing a life with someone I'm in-love with.The sex is just a wonderful way to show how you feel, to me anyway.I tried what people wanted from me here, cybering them.But it really wasn't me. I thought I'd found someone to share my life as well ,only left feeling unsure about anything including myself. So , my thought for you is just be patient, there has to be someone whom feels as we do about relationships. Don't give up hope. :2cents: Also your life is what it is and only we have the power to change anything, except for whom we love.

[the mage]

and the survey says.......

people who orgasm 200 or more time a year live on average 5 years longer than their non orgasming fellows... look it up!!

nuff ,said!!

[spartca]

My take on prostate cancer is "use it or lose it!" :)

[izzfan]

I have to admit that I do prefer casual sex [with men at least] to relationships at this stage in my life and I am very cynical about relationships. Perhaps when I am older I might consider a relationship of some sort. Nevertheless, there are a few things that make me want to steer clear of relationships.

-I like to be my own person, live my own life and not have it slowed down by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
- I've seen many straight friends have relationships in the past, they have usually ended up in a tearful break-up. Also, if you get into a relationship it usually leaves your mates feeling neglected.
- Relationships require total openess and honesty to work and I don't really feel ready to be completely open with anyone. I am somewhat paranoid and secretive generally and this wouldnt be good in a relationship.
- There is the inevitable break-up
- I can relate a lot better to men emotionally etc.... so if ever I had a relationship it would probably be with a bloke but then I would have all the problems of practicaly being forced to come out to EVERYONE if they met my boyfriend/civil partner.
- Marriage is totally out of the question. Modern [straight] marriage is HEAVILY biased against men in the event of a divorce.
- I don't want to end up in a relationship with a woman only to find that she wants to have kids. Seriously, I never want to have kids - they're annoying, a drain on your funds, they make life a hell of a lot more boring and if you split up then child custody/child support laws are HEAVILY biased against fathers.
- You have a lot more variety in your life if you have casual sex rather than relationship. It is also a hell of a lot less complicated.
-single people have more fun

I could reel off a huge list of reasons why I tend to steer clear of relationships whenever possible. I'm not saying that I'll never have a relationship but I treat the whole area of relationships with great caution.

Izzfan :flag3:

[chook]

Well Tasha its a bit hard having a fuck if there is no sex involved :)


Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[Long Duck Dong]

lol, think about it, lol

how much business revolves around open sexual encounters......

monogamy doesn't sell condoms....lol


seriously tho, love and romance is bloody nice, finding it is harder.....

and then you have the issues of learning about your partner, learning to live with ya partner, the hassles and headaches of living together, all the costs etc.... and then you run the risk of having ya relationship go belly up and suffering the hell of a broken heart........

for many, many years, there was not romance, there was marriage in the eyes of society, for better or worse, more often than not, its was for much worse, but you learnt to live with it.....and grow to love the person

we now live in a age of fuck 'em and leave 'em... and a record number of solo parents.... lol.......

[darkeyes]

Well Tasha its a bit hard having a fuck if there is no sex involved :)


Cheers Chook :bigrin:

Ya sod Chook..ya jus made me spray cofffeee everywer... next time wiv the funnies...not 1st thing in mornin wen me havin me brekkie!!!