When to PM

[scorpio9]

Something that still seems to come up now and then is "when is it okay to PM". I heard someone the other day stating that you should only PM if you ask first and get permission. That person acted as if they were speaking for everyone. My experience is that most people don't mind a random private hello. If they don't like it they say 'No, I'm busy' or just ignore the hello. No problem either way. Only if they are tense will they waste time ranting at someone about being invasive. Myself, I don't mind a hello. Also, some shy types just need to be approached before they can start chatting.
I've only had a problem with one person back on my first day here. That person put his cap lock on and went on and on in the main room at me about it. (It was just a casual hi) I feel it could have been handled better. Maybe I'm way off, and I've just missed the bothering the sensitive ones.

[biwords]

People really do differ on this question. Personally I don't mind a spontaneous PM from a stranger except where it begins with something like "I'm horny" or "wanna cyber?". And I think it's always OK to spontaneously PM someone to convey sincere praise or support.

[Azrael]

I don't mind a friendly shout or an introduction here and there. What I'm tired of is, Hey kid, you look hot, can you handle a guy twice your age? Sheesh.

[Curmudgeon]

I have PMd some who had interesting bios or pix, but tried never to never be obnoxious. I merely told them what I liked about their profile and asked if they were interested in exchanging e-mail.

[xxxcjs]

I persoanly like the randome PM as long as it sosnt start out I am so hard how about you. Other than that I am all for it.

[littlerayofsunshine]

I don't mind friendly pm's. But the random predatory ones piss me off.

For example:


Predator: Hey sunshine, like your pics :)

Sunshine: thanks :)

Predator: How are you today?

Sunshine: Good and you?

Predator: You are so sexy.

sunshine: :)

predator: So I read in the forums that your hubby's bi.

Sunshine: Yup

Predator: So have you ever seen him play with someone.

Sunshine: Yup

Predator: I would like for you to watch us as He slides his mouth down the shaft of my hard cock. While I suck your nipples and finger you..

Sunshine:

3 minute pause

Predator: Sunshine U there?

Minute pause

Predator:??????

You get the idea.

[chrisgp]

just my thoughts
i am always careful of who i pm - but i ask myself, would i like someone asking this of me? always traet others with respect and how you want to be treated.

i dont mind someone saying hi or hello and the talk carries on - had some great chats about motorbikes and other experiences, etc...

regards
chris

[Herbwoman39]

I rather enjoy the random "Hey I like your profile" PMs as long as they don't degrade into "wanna cyber?". As with anything else in my life I want to get to know someone intellectually first.

[Solomon]

me too! i like the pm's.... but i do expect more than being a piece of cyber meat lol!

[Curmudgeon]

I have found that if I PM someone they will respond if interested, and I don't PM again unless they do.
If some is obnoxious, I can always ignore them ot block them.

[onewhocares]

Yes, I actually like to have people say hello. I enjoy meeting new and interesting people who take it upon themselves to venture to PM. Like those who have posted above, an introduction about ones self is appropo, but " Hey babe, I am hot, hard and horny" will get them no where. I like to treat people the way that I like to be treated and respected. So, if there is anyone who would like to chat with me, please feel free.

Belle

[FalconAngel]

I rather enjoy the random "Hey I like your profile" PMs as long as they don't degrade into "wanna cyber?". As with anything else in my life I want to get to know someone intellectually first.

We agree with that. We have had too many guys pm us and it immediately goes to "wanna cyber" type chat or "I want to play with your wife while you blow me" type of chat.
We have ignored and blocked quite a few guys that failed to read our profile before PMing us.
That is why we are so adamant about people reading our profile before contacting us. It doesn't always work, but it does tend to weed out a lot of guys who would otherwise waste their time and ours in the fruitless pursuit of a couple that will not end up playing with them.

[flexuality]

Some PMs are okay...I just ignore them if they're stuff like "I got three minutes..wanna do me?"

Not crazy about the ones that just say "hello" or "hi" when me and Sol are chatting in the main room with people.....and usually just close the window....get tired of explaining that we're busy talking....like they can't see that?? Ah well...

[the sacred night]

I don't even mind the "want to cyber?" ones if I'm also horny, although if I'm horny I'm probably not here, I'm probably looking at porn or something else that will actually satisfy it. They are extremely annoying most of the time though.

The ones that just say hi I'm like, um... hi? like really, what else am I supposed to say? I really hate when the person says "would you like to chat?" I mean gawd, I'm in a chat room and we are already chatting if you are asking me this question... it's just a dumb saying that broadcasts "I really didn't have anything to say to you!" Esp. when their next question is "what would you like to chat about?" For the love of mike, don't pm me without at least having something to say...

I only pm someone if I have something to say, like if I'm commenting on something they said or on their name or something, I don't just say hi because to me that's really not saying anything at all.

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

I dont really mind so much getting them , but not 5 right when I walk thru the door. :eek:

[darkeyes]

If they are m8s then I have no prob wiv it...otha than that me jus tends 2 iggie em...

[Vuarra]

I don't like the guys who get mad when I'm not into guys... like it's *my* fault they're horny, and they've chosen me to crank themselves to?

I don't mind the "Wanna cyber?", but I lose respect fast for those who *expect* me to go with the idea, rather than say "No, thank you," for an answer.

[hudson9]

I think random "Hi"s or "Wanna chat"s should be OK, unless your profile states you don't want PMs or want to be asked in the room first. A polite "No thanks" or "not now" should be respected and not taken personally. Seems like common sense, common courtesy, and a little simple information exchange ("are you into cyber?" "sure/no/not today") should handle things. And like they say in "the lifestyle" (or so I'm told) "no means no." (Conversely, some welcome the opportunity to say "yes!")

Jack

[deletetacount123]

On my profile I have on the top CLEARLY stated I AM NOT into Cyber sex, Phone Sex and Webcam Sex.

I still get PM's for that and it annoys me. I'll say "read my profile then ask me again" never hear from them again lol

I don't mind the "HI" or a PM from a quiet member that wanted to comment on something I said in chat.

I get ticked off when people ask for cyber and I say No thank you.
THEN they go "Then why are you here??"

*blinks* Just cause I don't want to cybersex means Im not welcome in the chat?!?!?!? lol

I only perfer PM's from my friends :)

Tasha