Why won't she kiss me?

[kaillee]

this seems silly but it bothers me and well, here i am.
i'm a 20 year old female, and while i consider myself straight, i have a crush/am in love with a straight girl my age whom i've known for about a year and a half.
it started last year when we were drunk at a club and kissed. a few months later the scenerio happened again.
there's always been sexual tension between us and we have great chemistry. we lost touch for a while but since about 3 weeks ago we've rapidly become better friends than we ever used to be. our friendship has developed in to one that also consists of us hanging out when we're sober (not that before we'd never hung out sober before but it consisted of us being with other people as well.)
now, when we go clubbing we're all over each other, and last week she told my friends and i at the club that i'm so sexy, i'm so cool, she wants to fuck me, that if she was lesbian i'd be her first choice and she asked me "we have an attraction between us, right?" . when we're clubbing i'd loooove to kiss her, but she's very adamant about us not kissing. i don't get it. we've done it before, and we've obviously got a thing.
also we talked about how she kissed some of her guy friends at the club but it didn't mean anything to her, and she had a huge smirk on her face when she asked me "how do you know what a kiss means?"
any insight as to why she doesn't want us to kiss anymore when we're drunk but she's still allllll over me and it's obvious we have a thing?

[FalconAngel]

Seems that there is something more going on than what you are telling us. Not on your side so much, but mostly on hers. You may consider yourself straight, but it sounds more like you are BI. Even though you are mostly straight.
Remember that there is no clear line of demarcation for sexuality. It can be fixed anywhere in the spectrum. It can also be fluid. Feeling for one gender, then feeling for the other, then for both, or for both with a preference for one or the other or any combination that you can dream of.

As far as your friend is concerned, perhaps she's just discovering her own bisexuality and is not too sure of where she is in her orientation and her own preconceived notions of sexuality. It happens with some. It would also explain why she is behaving like a "tease" sometimes.
Not everyone who discovers that they are Bi, jumps into their sexuality with both feet. Some try to test the waters a little at a time. Partly because they don't understand what they are and sometimes it's because they are fighting years of indoctrination about gender and orientation.

On the flip side, she could just be a tease who is playing head games with you. Unfortunately, there are people out there like that.

I would start probing her about where she is going with this and perhaps help her work out both your and her orientation issues before you try to take this relationship somewhere that may cause a lot of pain for both of you.

[Apleasureseeker]

Two possible scenarios here.
1) She really feels attraction to you. She understands your attraction to her, and she feels it too, but she doesn't want to take it any further. She may be queer for you, but she doesn't want to be queer. DON'T go for any more kisses in clubs--girls do thyat just to get attention & attract guys. If it means something to you, don't do it. Get her alone sometime, and have a real talk with her. Don't expect it to lead to sex, & don't get too clingly. Don't say you're bi or gay or whatever. Tell her you're like her, but uoi like her, too, and you just have this feeling and you wonder if she's brave enough to explore it with you. Or something like that.
--or--
2) She's playing with you. Sorry to say, some girls do this to guys all the time, and they'll do it to girls too, if they can. If she knows you're wet for her, she can pull your strings, if she gets off on that, and possibly humiliate you. Protect your own feelings.

I don't know which is the right scenario, maybe a little of both. Be honest, but protect your heart.

[innaminka]

I tend to agree with "apleasureseeker"
I think your long time friend is playing with you - teasing, whatever.
take yourrelationship out of the club context. How does it stand up there?
Is there any serious discusiion about what is said at the club - because I would gather there may be alcohol involved and that does lift inhibitions.
You're the only one who can ascertain your friend's real feelings towards you. But do it in the cold light of day.