Are Bisexuals More Argumentative?

[spartca]

Have some of us become more combative from fighting oppression as sexual minorities? :bounce:

Or are some of you agents from the religious right infiltrating and disrupting what could otherwise be constructive dialog here on bisexual.com? :cool:

Enquiring minds want to know! ;)

[flexuality]

Now there's a self serving question if I ever saw one!

If I say "yes", then I am agreeing with you....if I say "no", then I am combative. No matter which way I answer, you will be satisfied that you're right.

[spartca]

Things get so ugly on here that I seriously do wonder sometimes if there aren't people here just trolling and flaming just to frustrate the heck out of the bisexuals in hopes that they give up on it or something. Maybe to stop us from organizing? The olde divide and conquer? Or do you really just think we're beating each other up because we don't know any better? lol

[mindfinding]

I like sundaes. But I like many types of ice cream treats.

I really like to get my hands on good vanilla ice cream. That is soooo hard to come by. If you find a good vanilla, you find a rare treasure. Some companies add to much sugar, others completely miss the idea of adding real vanilla. You should see the vanilla in it, it shouldn't sit on your tounge for to long after words, and most importantly is shouldn't be to sweet. Otherwise its ruined and you know you have just been suckered into buying a "non inspired" creation.

Some of the best vanilla ice cream I have had in my life was from a re-creation 1800's town. They let you help churn it and it is very delightful indeed. It's the real deal. It's not the best I have had, but it is unforgettably fresh. Try it if you can sometime.

Cheers!

PS, sorry to high jack the post, I just really wanted to add that. I'm doubting anybody will read my post anyways. :)

[spartca]

I have similar tastes: my local favorite is Double Rainbow French Vanilla. Double Rainbow is "San Francisco's official ice cream." Says so right on the box :) Give it a try if you're ever in the neighborhood! They sell it at Trader Joe's if you get such things out there.

Where's that 1800s town? I'm always up for premium vanilla ice cream lol.

[arana]

I like sundaes. But I like many types of ice cream treats.

I really like to get my hands on good vanilla ice cream. That is soooo hard to come by. If you find a good vanilla, you find a rare treasure. Some companies add to much sugar, others completely miss the idea of adding real vanilla. You should see the vanilla in it, it shouldn't sit on your tounge for to long after words, and most importantly is shouldn't be to sweet. Otherwise its ruined and you know you have just been suckered into buying a "non inspired" creation.

Some of the best vanilla ice cream I have had in my life was from a re-creation 1800's town. They let you help churn it and it is very delightful indeed. It's the real deal. It's not the best I have had, but it is unforgettably fresh. Try it if you can sometime.

Cheers!

PS, sorry to high jack the post, I just really wanted to add that. I'm doubting anybody will read my post anyways. :)
Try making your own homemade with a good vanilla bean or bourbon vanilla extract. Yum.... And yes it is hard to find a good vanilla that is consistent.

[mindfinding]

Where's that 1800s town? I'm always up for premium vanilla ice cream lol.

Fort Edmonton Park in Alberta Canada.
Click here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fort_Edmonton)

I'll be sure to come and try the vanilla in San Fran. A town with its own Vanilla, thats pretty kick ass. :)

[arana]

Have some of us become more combative from fighting oppression as sexual minorities? :bounce:

Or are some of you agents from the religious right infiltrating and disrupting what could otherwise be constructive dialog here on bisexual.com? :cool:

Enquiring minds want to know! ;)
I think its the person, as with anything, not the gender or sexual preference. Some are far more combatitive then others to the point they actually enjoy confrontations. Trolling really baffles me.

[spartca]

I'll be sure to come and try the vanilla in San Fran. A town with its own Vanilla, thats pretty kick ass. :)

That would be me! I think I'm the only vanilla bisexual in the whole SF Bay Area! They keep trying to kick me out but no other town will have me. I guess they figure they created the monster, it's their responsibility now lol.

[flexuality]

Yeah, we sometimes get trolls....just like anywhere else does. And I imagine that it is great sport for some people to pick on those who tend to be sensitive or those who would rather the world didn't know some things about them.

But for the most part, I don't think we 'beat each other up' much at all. I think we have some very intense emotions that come out sometimes....and that it can look like we're beating up people.....but I think that most of it is just that....intense emotions.

I also think that is it OKAY to feel those intense emotions.....we just need to get better at HOW we express them....something I still work at.

What I HAVE noticed is that when we let the emotional intensity run it's course, instead of trying to stop it right away, that things DO settle down and that reasonable, respectable conversations then start happening. Once we have vented, then we can listen.

I think the mistake is in trying to STOP those kinds of threads....not the threads that are just abusive bullying....I mean the threads on subjects like Iraq, religion, politics, and any other subject where people have strong beliefs.

The first thing people are going to do with a subject they feel strongly about is to voice their view intently.....it's "normal." And those who disagree with their view are going to state that just as intently...but once that intensity is out of the way....then they tend to start listening to each other more. But people are going to defend their beliefs...beliefs are the most powerful things we have.

[flexuality]

I like sundaes. But I like many types of ice cream treats.

I really like to get my hands on good vanilla ice cream. That is soooo hard to come by. If you find a good vanilla, you find a rare treasure. Some companies add to much sugar, others completely miss the idea of adding real vanilla. You should see the vanilla in it, it shouldn't sit on your tounge for to long after words, and most importantly is shouldn't be to sweet. Otherwise its ruined and you know you have just been suckered into buying a "non inspired" creation.

Some of the best vanilla ice cream I have had in my life was from a re-creation 1800's town. They let you help churn it and it is very delightful indeed. It's the real deal. It's not the best I have had, but it is unforgettably fresh. Try it if you can sometime.

Cheers!

PS, sorry to high jack the post, I just really wanted to add that. I'm doubting anybody will read my post anyways. :)

I had a bottle of REAL vanilla from Cancun once....holy shit what a difference!! Night and day!

And there is NOTHING like REAL ice cream...the kind that's almost chewy....drooooool.....hehehe!! :tong:

[flexuality]

I think its the person, as with anything, not the gender or sexual preference. Some are far more combatitive then others to the point they actually enjoy confrontations. Trolling really baffles me.

Some friends of one of my kids used to troll sites...back when they were about 14 or so.....they would create fake profiles and post stuff on sites like this....just cuz they thought it was 'funny'....makes me wonder just how many of these trolls are kids......

btw, love your Aragorn and Theoden! :bigrin: Muster the Rhohirim!! LOL!! :bigrin:

[12voltman59]

I hope that what I have been doing is not considered to be trolling--I like to think of it being "lively debate"

and I do think that people are more testy these days--I think it is very noticiable since 9/11.

When I did my decorative painting training in March---the teacher said as his role as an industry leader--he goes to many events for the painting industry and he said that in sales seminars and things---they say that people have definitely changed since then--they are more easy to take offense and you really have to be aware not to encroach on people's "personal space" these days---

So what we have in here is what is happening in the greater outside culture--we are not immune from that---it is our "new normal" for those who know what I mean by that term.....ya just got to roll with what ya got!!

[jedinudist]

I like sundaes. But I like many types of ice cream treats.

I really like to get my hands on good vanilla ice cream. That is soooo hard to come by. If you find a good vanilla, you find a rare treasure. Some companies add to much sugar, others completely miss the idea of adding real vanilla. You should see the vanilla in it, it shouldn't sit on your tounge for to long after words, and most importantly is shouldn't be to sweet. Otherwise its ruined and you know you have just been suckered into buying a "non inspired" creation.

Some of the best vanilla ice cream I have had in my life was from a re-creation 1800's town. They let you help churn it and it is very delightful indeed. It's the real deal. It's not the best I have had, but it is unforgettably fresh. Try it if you can sometime.

Cheers!

PS, sorry to high jack the post, I just really wanted to add that. I'm doubting anybody will read my post anyways. :)

Chocolate Rules
:tongue:

[flexuality]

I hope that what I have been doing is not considered to be trolling--I like to think of it being "lively debate"


Volty....you're hardly a troll! :tong: Now go eat some chocolate! LOL!!

[Long Duck Dong]

are bisexuals more argumentative ??? hell yeah... wanna argue about that ??? :tong: :tong: :tong:

I am not a arguer.... but I am a debater.....and a thinker.....tho I argue against the absolutes and not the possibles.....

absolute : bisexuality doesn't exist, it is merely a point between to extremes that we gave a label

possible : bisexuality may or may not exist depending on the point of view of each person, bisexuality is fuild and most sceptics are people that like constants

I do admit that I bait the hell out of people..and its rare that a person gets the better of me.....but thats cos people read my opinions as a whole.... and if people knew me well enuf, they would realise I have 2-3 opinions about the same thing....lol and rather than change my opinions, I often change tact and express my opinion from a new angle, and piss people off lol

[Solomon]

Have some of us become more combative from fighting oppression as sexual minorities? :bounce:

Or are some of you agents from the religious right infiltrating and disrupting what could otherwise be constructive dialog here on bisexual.com? :cool:

Enquiring minds want to know! ;)

no i haven't become combative from fighting oppression as a sexual minority

and no i'm not an 'agent from the religious right'

and if all you chose to see of me is combativeness and/or disruption.... that's not my problem

[spartca]

So hey Sol, just wanted to point out that no one mentioned you by name... seems like you might be feeling a little defensive there. I wasn't specifically thinking of you when I wrote that!

I started this post in the hopes that we might all consider taking a moment to take a breath and consider our posts before hitting the "send" button lol - and by so doing endeavor to lift each other up with our discussions rather than tear each other down. We're all on the same team, after all!

You and I have certainly had our differences of opinion, but I'm sure we can continue to raise consciousness with our spirited discussions on the bisexual topic! :)

[BreeIsMe]

of course not.
What are you trying to do, start a fight!!! LOL


Bree


Have some of us become more combative from fighting oppression as sexual minorities? :bounce:

Or are some of you agents from the religious right infiltrating and disrupting what could otherwise be constructive dialog here on bisexual.com? :cool:

Enquiring minds want to know! ;)

[darkeyes]

No we are not bloody argumentative!!! Say that gain an me see that ya suffer gr8 pain!! :bigrin:

[mindfinding]

Chocolate Rules
:tongue:

I simply don't have the palate for chocolate that I did as a kid. That said,...

VANILLA RULES!!!!!
:tong:

[mindfinding]

Have some of us become more combative from fighting oppression as sexual minorities? :bounce:

Or are some of you agents from the religious right infiltrating and disrupting what could otherwise be constructive dialog here on bisexual.com? :cool:

Enquiring minds want to know! ;)

spartca

I enjoyed this thread, though I totally high jacked it. :)

I'm actually thinking about how I'm going to get to SF now and try that vanilla you spoke of.

Cheers

[12voltman59]

There is this man in my area that makes wonderful handmade specialty chocolate candies-- Ghyslain Chocolates---they are "devine, girls!!!"

They are handmade in small batches and ohhhhh myyyy!!!! are they good!!!!

Info on his chocolates: http://www.ghyslain.com/

and they are also available from:

http://www.dorothylane.com/departments/bakery/index.html

if you visit this page--check out the info on DLM's "Killer Brownies" they ship them anywhere in the world!!!!!! and boy--are they yummy too!!!!

[spartca]

I enjoyed this thread, though I totally high jacked it. :)


I am honored you found this thread fit for jacking, which it totally was! :)

Plus, we got to talk about vanilla ice cream, my favorite.

No one seemed to get my "only vanilla bisexual in SF" joke though, so I'm bummed. That's so your fault too. ;)

[Solomon]

So hey Sol, just wanted to point out that no one mentioned you by name... seems like you might be feeling a little defensive there. I wasn't specifically thinking of you when I wrote that!

I started this post in the hopes that we might all consider taking a moment to take a breath and consider our posts before hitting the "send" button lol - and by so doing endeavor to lift each other up with our discussions rather than tear each other down. We're all on the same team, after all!

You and I have certainly had our differences of opinion, but I'm sure we can continue to raise consciousness with our spirited discussions on the bisexual topic! :)

sorry... in my mind we're supposed to be passionate in arguing, because in many cases it's the passion that keeps the lessons learned from getting lost

something the mental health field i think works damn hard to suppress

[NorthBiEast]

For each person in any given discussion there is a different opinion. By allowing ourselves to be labeled (or not as the case may be) as part of a minority we aren't afraid of not fitting in, and are willing to share what we have learned in our attempts to understand ourselves and the world we live in. That is why we have such great discussions with such a wide variety of responses, in MY opinion. :flag4:

[[ Morning Wood ]]

as far as argumentative. probably yes.

However, this isn't what gets to me.
Someone called me GREEDY before.

"you are greedy because you want the best of both worlds"
this came from a lesbian.

[drago]

some are some arent, it depends on the person not whether they're bi or not. have also heard the whole "bisexuals are just sexually greedy" lol hate stereo typin people such as "you do this , this and this so you must be ........"

if anything, i reckon straights are more arumentative cos they're involved in nearly all the arguements

d

[spartca]

sorry... in my mind we're supposed to be passionate in arguing, because in many cases it's the passion that keeps the lessons learned from getting lost

something the mental health field i think works damn hard to suppress

Hm. Well I suppose it really depends on the practitioner. Different psychological methods handle affect or the display of emotion slightly differently.

And then the method applied really varies quite a lot depending on the needs of the client. If a client is prone to wild mood swings that negatively affect their work and social functioning, then a practitioner might help them to tone it down. If a person has totally flat affect due to past trauma, then a practitioner might help them liven themselves up.

I'm guessing from your statement that your experience was that a mental health practitioner tried to help you to tone things down, and you didn't like that.

For example, if a person is observed to have some "social dysfunction and the failure to appreciate and utilize conventional rules of conversation, a failure to appreciate nonverbal cues, and limited capacities for self-monitoring," then a practitioner might work with a client to develop resources to supplement their ability to do these things successfully. The ability to see one's display of emotion more clearly and how it fits into societal norms of behavior might be a coping skill that the client is taught to develop.

[TaylorMade]

Either way, Krispy Kreme kicks the ass of Dunkin Dounts any day of the week, twice on Sundays.

*Taylor*

[flexuality]

Either way, Krispy Kreme kicks the ass of Dunkin Dounts any day of the week, twice on Sundays.

*Taylor*
I don't really care for Krispy Kreme....maybe they make'em weird up here or something...but there's this little bakery here that makes the most delicious donuts I have ever had....

[littlerayofsunshine]

*Wahhhhhh* I never had Krispy Kreme, There are only Dunkins around here. Love me some Boston Creme and Eclaires. There's a nice Bakery nearby, small business family run, and that place can make me melt.

[Solomon]

Hm. Well I suppose it really depends on the practitioner. Different psychological methods handle affect or the display of emotion slightly differently.

And then the method applied really varies quite a lot depending on the needs of the client. If a client is prone to wild mood swings that negatively affect their work and social functioning, then a practitioner might help them to tone it down. If a person has totally flat affect due to past trauma, then a practitioner might help them liven themselves up.

I'm guessing from your statement that your experience was that a mental health practitioner tried to help you to tone things down, and you didn't like that.

For example, if a person is observed to have some "social dysfunction and the failure to appreciate and utilize conventional rules of conversation, a failure to appreciate nonverbal cues, and limited capacities for self-monitoring," then a practitioner might work with a client to develop resources to supplement their ability to do these things successfully. The ability to see one's display of emotion more clearly and how it fits into societal norms of behavior might be a coping skill that the client is taught to develop.

maybe that's the problem, trying to get people to fit into a society that's discriminatory, dysfunctional, violent, and narrow minded

maybe the focus could use a little shifting to instead finding a society that said people would better chance to fit into....

and you would be correct in thinking that i've had negative experiences with the mental health end of things..... mostly with the Dr.'s that personally i've heard it said best "the more education you have generally equates to the less confidence you have, because the more education you have, the more you're told that you need more and more education"

in most cases i think that people try to replace confidence with Ph.D's lol
and that i think leads to victim mentality

then along comes somebody like Einstien who didn't even finish high school to set'em all straight again lol

[Solomon]

and Dunkin Donuts rules!! hehehee!! :tong: :tong:

[spartca]

maybe that's the problem, trying to get people to fit into a society that's discriminatory, dysfunctional, violent, and narrow minded


I totally agree with you there Solomon. I'd like to envision a society where more diversity was acceptable. That's why I start threads like "How to Reduce Bigotry Against Bisexual Men."

On the other hand, as you've pointed out many times in that thread, from an individual-centered perspective, it's somewhat futile to try and change the world. That's why psychology professionals focus on helping individuals fit into the world as it is.

[spartca]

Oh and I cast my vote for generic glazed French Krullers from the local Chinese-owned donut shop :bigrin:

[Solomon]

I totally agree with you there Solomon. I'd like to envision a society where more diversity was acceptable. That's why I start threads like "How to Reduce Bigotry Against Bisexual Men."

On the other hand, as you've pointed out many times in that thread, from an individual-centered perspective, it's somewhat futile to try and change the world. That's why psychology professionals focus on helping individuals fit into the world as it is.

it certainly can be a paradox... but truth is everytime i classify society as being something, i better be checking the mirror and figuring out if it's in fact my problem or society's lol

that line about those who judge by the group being pewits in 'G-burg' has a way of haunting me

i think there's a distinct need for positive pr in the world though.... so you seem to have a good way of thinking on that idea... and you're right about my having an individualistic outlook.... and i think that that actually falls right in line with John Nash's game theory at least as i understand his theory

[spartca]

it certainly can be a paradox... but truth is everytime i classify society as being something, i better be checking the mirror and figuring out if it's in fact my problem or society's lol

I always try to keep that in mind!


i think there's a distinct need for positive pr in the world though.... so you seem to have a good way of thinking on that idea...

Hey Sol thanks for the compliment! :)


and you're right about my having an individualistic outlook....

Individualism seems to be our national religion! I believe our inability to work together collectively may be our achilles heel as a society...

Anyways, as you suggested, I believe it's western psychology's biggest fault - focusing on the individual to the exclusion of their environment... feminist psychology seems to have brought a bit of that larger perspective to the table though, especially when it comes to gender issues...

[TaylorMade]

and Dunkin Donuts rules!! hehehee!! :tong: :tong:

I didn't know you liked slightly stale doughnuts. :p

All Dunkin has going for it is the coffee.

*Taylor*

[spartca]

I didn't know you liked slightly stale doughnuts. :p

All Dunkin has going for it is the coffee.

*Taylor*

Yikes! No offense, but the last time I went to DD even the coffee made me gag lol.

[TaylorMade]

Yikes! No offense, but the last time I went to DD even the coffee made me gag lol.

Heh... and in some cases, they don't even have that... LOL

Naw, I went to a DD in KoP, PA. The Coffee was good, but I had to talk my ex into getting me doughnuts from the KK in Scranton when we went.

Ummmm.... Gotta love all that thick white glaze... espeically when it's still warm and sticky and clings to your lips....

Wait, I'm talking about sugary doughnut glaze, right?

:tongue:

*Taylor*

[DiamondDog]

Dunkin Donuts' coffee is OK but I don't like their sugary coffee drinks and I bought one once and drank half of it and threw the rest out.

Heh, a friend of mine from highschool he was obsessed with the idea of streaking and he once streaked a dunkin donuts and had his friend get it on tape! LOL

I LOVE to play devil's advocate and debate things.

I've been told that I should get a PhD in rhetoric or a Masters in English, but I don't want to do that since I'd go crazy and get burnt out with theory and graduate level english and literature classes. :(

[12voltman59]

Either way, Krispy Kreme kicks the ass of Dunkin Dounts any day of the week, twice on Sundays.

*Taylor*

I'm with you on the donuts Taylor---my vote goes for KK donuts-especially if you go to a location from say 6:30 a.m. to about 8 or 8:30 when they are making them up and they put them out when they are still warm!!!!!!

OOOOhLLLLLAAAAALLAAAA!!!!

I have not had a KK donut in like six months at least and right now-things like donuts are off my eating list--but ohhhh Taylor-did your talking about them make me Jones for 'em mightly badly!!!!!!!

[Doggie_Wood]

Now there's a self serving question if I ever saw one!

If I say "yes", then I am agreeing with you....if I say "no", then I am combative. No matter which way I answer, you will be satisfied that you're right.

Yes - No - Maybe - Sometimes - Always - It's Possible - Never - Occasionally - Could be - Let me think on it a little.

the answer is there - but you get to choose. :bigrin:

:doggie:

[Curmudgeon]

Have some of us become more combative from fighting oppression as sexual minorities? :bounce:

Or are some of you agents from the religious right infiltrating and disrupting what could otherwise be constructive dialog here on bisexual.com? :cool:

Enquiring minds want to know! ;)

:bibounce: I must say that I am certainly a part of the religious wrong. :male:

[TaylorMade]

I'm with you on the donuts Taylor---my vote goes for KK donuts-especially if you go to a location from say 6:30 a.m. to about 8 or 8:30 when they are making them up and they put them out when they are still warm!!!!!!

OOOOhLLLLLAAAAALLAAAA!!!!

I have not had a KK donut in like six months at least and right now-things like donuts are off my eating list--but ohhhh Taylor-did your talking about them make me Jones for 'em mightly badly!!!!!!!

They finally opened one RIGHT near South Miami Hospital... they're constantly baking late at night, so after a good eveing out, you can get them just right... I admit I like to go there before or after going to BT's... even if it is out the the way.

[12voltman59]

When it comes to "religion"--"religon?-- I don't need no stinking religion!!!!!"

I don't need some man up on the altar in robes or some bozo with a bad southern accent, crazy looking suit and a funky as hell hairdo to tell me who and what God is or is not and I don't need any of them to do my thinking for me.

I want to know-that here in America--where does it say in the Bible--that in order to be a "good Christian" you also need to be a member of the Republican Party?????---I went through several different versions of the Bible I have and none of them say that far as I can tell.

It does seem that when ya become a "good Christian" (as those who have hijacked Christianity for their own ends would have it)--you have to leave your brains at the door when you enter one of their mega churches out in the burbs.....

[Solomon]

I didn't know you liked slightly stale doughnuts. :p

All Dunkin has going for it is the coffee.

*Taylor*

ok so it's been 10 years since i've been to DD, now it's TH cuz they don't have a DD up here.... or a KK lol

still love the commercials though so there! :tong: :bigrin:

hhmm dog nut acronyms.... lol!

[izzfan]

Argumentative? Me?...... naturally :soapbox: . lol. I definately think that it is one of the the things I'm well known for. I mean, I could probably give a whole list of things not to get me started about [eg: political correctness, organised religon, Tony Blair etc....] unless you want to hear a long political moan/rant. The strange thing is that my political views often contradict each other in various strange ways and also I can go from traditionalist conservative to extreme liberal and back again in a single sentence at times lol..... don't ask....

As for arguments, yeah I seem to get into a few of those every now and then... don't think it has anything to do with being bisexual most of the time [except when people try to 'convince' me that I'm "not really bisexual, but actually gay"... this has happened a couple of times in the past].


Have some of us become more combative from fighting oppression as sexual minorities?

Hmmm.... I would like to agree with that but only if you count being in the closet for years [more to do with some occasional mild CD/TV stuff than bisexuality- although I had a latent bisexual/homosexual side for a few years, I only really realised it when I was about 17] as oppression. Well, I suppose it sort of is as I would have probably suffered a hell of a lot of oppression if I had come out when I was younger (only really came out when I started university last september, still in the closet to various people though). As for actual, open 'oppression' in regards to my sexuality I haven't really suffered much except that I have been called a 'poof' twice [but once I think it was meant more as a criticism of a phase of nail-varnish wearing I went through a few months ago rather than any genuine homophobia/biphobia].

Has being in the closet for a few years made me more argumentative? It's certainly made me a more paranoid and secretive person than I would have been had I been 100% straight and had no effeminate side [eg: TV/CD, acting rather feminine on rare occasions - strangely enough, I tend to be more straight than usual when I'm in this state of mind] but no, I don't think it has made me any more agumentative than I already am lol.

I'm an argumentative person who happens to be 'queer' rather than a 'queer' person who happens to be agrumentative because of it. lol

Izzfan :flag3:

[Doggie_Wood]

Either way, Krispy Kreme kicks the ass of Dunkin Dounts any day of the week, twice on Sundays.

*Taylor*
Could it be that KK makes twice as many donuts on Sunday?

And which end of the donut is the ass?? - lol
:doggie: